Debra Kasowski

Episode 93 – Silence Your Inner Critic

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Each of us has an inner voice. Some people refer to it as the inner voice of knowing- but does it really know, especially when the negative thoughts rear their ugly heads. Isn’t bad enough you wonder what other people are saying about you or the efforts you put out? You don’t need any extra judgment as you already are your own worst critic. There are times you say things to yourself that you would not voice out loud and direct at anyone else. Why? The inner critic is not compassionate, kind, or respectful. If you wouldn’t say it to anyone else, why say such mean things to yourself. It’s not that you are wanting to get rid of the inner voice, you are managing the negative thoughts.

When you are in a negative state of mind, you will take actions to support your thoughts and feelings, ultimately, impacting the results you are getting. You need to stop the critic because it crushes your self-confidence to take essential actions required to achieve results. Think of your radio dial; you can tune into music and messaging that you choose to listen to. Many of the messages in your mind have been forged from the past and no longer serve the current situation. It may have come from criticism or advice. You may hear the voice of your mother or father commenting on something and you have hung onto to it. Now in the present something comes up and you think it must be true because someone else has said it even it does not even fit the current situation.

You want to be able to silence the inner critic, the chatter, you hear in your head. Managing the thoughts, you are having is not as difficult as you think. Your mind is flooded with over 50,000-70,000 thoughts in a day with many of them being negativity. Most of these thoughts are unconscious until you bring them into your awareness. As soon as you bring a thought into your awareness, you can make a conscious choice whether you want to keep the thought or reject it. Unfortunately, you may grab a single negative thought and play it in your head like a broken record. It does not serve you – it is time to manage your thoughts and toss those negative ones away altogether.

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
― Theodore Roosevelt

It all begins with…self-awareness.

What thoughts are you thinking? Once you can notice your thoughts in the moment, now you can change them but before you do, why are you having them, to begin with? Is your self-confidence low? Is fear coming up? Even though negative thoughts come up and their many have been moments that you tell yourself, “I am stupid.”, you need to stop and remember there also have been a time you have shined and felt on top of the world. You are not stupid – your behavior or action you took was not the right one now.

When you catch yourself saying a negative thought, STOP and take notice of it. You can say, “Cancel, cancel, cancel”. Your thoughts are powerful. Your thoughts influence the actions you are going to take. If you are in a bad mood, you may react to a situation or say things you would later regret.

REFRAME the thought into a positive thought. Positive thoughts lead to positive actions. Positive actions will get you closer to the success you are looking for. The reason people do not achieve the success they are looking for is often because the get caught up in the stories they tell themselves.

Get into a positive state of mind. When I studied the morning routines of successful people, I learned that they put themselves into a positive state. To get yourself into a positive state, you can pray or meditate, exercise, write in a gratitude journal, or read a book that gets your mind primed for the day. The morning is not the only time you can do this. You can change your state by simply thinking of a time where you felt unstoppable and you felt at the peak of success.

Your inner voice is not a bad thing…it can warn you or alert you to doing your due diligence. It is a bad thing when you allow thoughts to take root and sabotage your efforts. You need to remind yourself that you have greatness within you – everyone does. Holding back on your greatness serves no one – if you hold back – it is a tragedy. Everything in life is interconnected. If you do not fulfill your purpose, others are impeded from fulfilling theirs.

Make a choice. Your imagination can run wild if you let it. Telling you stories of disempowerment. You need to harness your thoughts and empower yourself. You can break down your stories and examine the words that you use. The word “Can’t” places limits on what you believe is possible and what you think you are capable of doing. Yes, there are somethings that you can’t do such as swim without oxygen in the depth of the sea or fly above the mountains like an eagle. There are things you can do and you are stopping yourself from doing them.

Can’t is a choice. You are choosing not to. Do you notice when you have a choice you suddenly have empowered yourself and taken control of the actions you are taking? What CAN you do? Stephen King said, “you can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” Focus on what you can do versus what you cannot.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.”
― Henry Ford

You have more power than you give yourself credit for. When you pay attention to what you are saying and how those words make you feel and the thoughts you are having, you can start taking actions that support your success rather than sabotage it.

Be Aware -Notice and Understand It.

Stop – Cancel the thought.

Reframe It.

Get into a positive state.

CHOOSE – what you are going to say and do that will empower you!

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

 

 

 

 

Episode 90 – Turn Someday into Today with Lisa Larter

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Meet Our Guest:

Lisa Larter, founder of lisalarter.com, is a Business Consultant, Social Media Strategist, and Speaker.  She works with businesses to maximize their profits and scale beyond their dreams, using social media, relationship marketing, and dead-simple, eye-opening systems.  She’s helped increase the visibility and profits of a wide range of clients — including retail groups, authors, realtors, brick-and-mortar businesses, shopping centers, online entrepreneurs, and, her favorite big-name advisee, Deepak Chopra. His feedback? “Lisa, you’re the best.”

Episode 86: Never Make Quitting Your Option

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Meet our Guest:

Bean was paralyzed in 2012, by an autoimmune disorder called Transverse Myelitis. She has over 10 years experience as an X-ray technologist specializing in the Cardiac Catheterization Lab. She is also a certified Makeup Artist who has worked on numerous fashion shows and photo shoots.

Since being diagnosed and achieving milestones that seemed impossible, Bean is determined to make her experience a positive one. To help others affected by disability and vowing to Never Give Up.

She is the cofounder & administrator of ReYu, a local (Edmonton) non-profit Paralysis Recovery Centre. Bean was one of the featured models with disabilities in Western Canada Fashion Week. This part of fashion week was the first ever of its kind in Canada. www.reyu.com

Episode 77 – Fighting Negativity

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“See if you can catch yourself complaining, in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So, change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

We have all encountered people who have the glass half full viewpoint (optimist) and those with the glass half empty viewpoint (pessimist). Which one are you? Did you know we have 50,000-70,000 thoughts a day? 98% of those thoughts you have had the day before. Eighty percent of those thoughts are negative. It sounds crazy but most of your thoughts are not conscious thoughts. You have not brought them to your attention. When you do bring those thoughts to your attention, you have a choice whether to respond or not respond to them. If you focus or put your attention on a thought, you are giving energy to it or empowering that thought even if that thought could be wrong.

Don’t believe everything you think without questioning it. Your imagination can run away from itself – thinking often the worst of a situation rather than the best. To fight negativity, you must start with dealing with the negativity within.

Defeat the Negativity Within

Start by paying attention to what your inner voice is saying in any given situation. Is it empowering you or shaming you?

You cannot think a negative thought and a positive thought at the same time. When you think a negative thought, identify the thought and challenge your thought by questioning any assumptions you may be making. Surely, you have never made an assumption that was wrong before. I have I know I am not the only one. Remember though only have the meaning we give them. So, if you do not like the thought you are thinking, think a different thought or don’t give it meaning or your attention. Shift your energy by reframing the thought positively. Reframing will help change your perspective on some of the limiting beliefs you may be having. For example,

“I am not good enough to be chosen for the promotion.”

Is this thought true?

How do you know?

What do you want to be thinking?

“I AM good enough to be chosen for the promotion.”

Feel the energy shift. Wherever you focus your time and attention to, you will get more of. What are some of the self-limiting beliefs that you are having? Write out what your self-limiting beliefs are. Challenge the assumptions you may be making. Reframe the thought to an empowering thought. What do you want to be thinking? Consider capturing your thoughts by writing them down in a journal and reframing them.

Stop exposing yourself to negativity. Steer clear from watching the news first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed. There is a lot of negative news going on the world that can really affect your mood and mindset. What kind of movies and books to you read? What are you feeding your mind with? I am hoping is entertaining you, inspiring you, or educating you to become the best you can be!

Develop an attitude of gratitude. Start and end your day in gratitude. Gratitude is about being thankful and appreciative of something tangible or intangible and how it has impacted our lives. What are you grateful for? Positive psychology research shows that people who are grateful tend to be happier. Tell people in your life that you are grateful for them in your life or send them a thank you card. Too busy to write (even though I still suggest you send a card) – you may choose to thank them mentally.

The Negative Relationships – The Toxic People

Attitudes are contagious. Be careful who you surround yourself with; ensure you are spending time with positive people who encourage and support you. One of the greatest lessons I have learned is to not take other people’s negativity personally. Their reaction to things is about what is going on for them in their mind and life and often has very little to do with you. A toxic person is someone who makes a person feel bad about themselves by talking down to them, criticizing them, or belittling them. They may tell you that you can’t do things or you’re not good enough or talented enough to be successful. Do you know where that is coming from? It comes from their own fears of you succeeding or even that fact that they are not and did not go after their own goals.

Gandhi once said, “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with dirty feet.” You get to choose whether you will respond or react. Sometimes the toxic people may be people you are related to. Often the best things to do in these cases are to change the subject of the conversation or set boundaries by expressing what you are willing to talk about and what you are not willing to talk about. You are in control of letting that messaging in or keeping it out and how it impacts you. Limit your contact with toxic people.

The Negative Environment

Somethings you can control and somethings you cannot.  You want to focus on what you can control.

Focus on solutions and the next positive step. It is easy to replay negative experiences over and over in our heads like a movie – reliving every moment. Is that what you really want? Learn to let go of past hurts. They occurred in the past and they cannot be changed.

Focus on the present – it what you can control. Redirect the topic and take control of the situation.

Keep the lines of communication open. Talk about your concerns openly and ask questions to avoid any misunderstandings. Again, your imagination can run wild if you do not ask questions to ensure you understand things correctly.

Deal with issues/concerns head on. Do not avoid having important conversations that you need to have. They can fester and exploded into much bigger problems and damage morale if not tended to immediately.

Follow up with others that you work and spend time with. This “pulse check” can help you determine if everyone is getting along or there are any concerns you may not be aware of. By being aware, positive changes can create positive results. Be proactive.

Be careful not to minimize the positive. Fighting negativity is a work in progress. It is too easy to fall into the trap of getting caught up in negative thinking, gossiping with others, and creating a toxic environment if you do not pay attention to where your thoughts are at any given moment.

Empower yourself by thinking empowering thoughts. When you think positive, you are giving a boost to your mood and you will take more affirmative actions to support your goals and objectives.

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time: 12:25 min

Episode 65 – The Rollercoaster Ride of an Entrepreneur

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“There’s lots of bad reasons to start a company. But there’s only one good, legitimate reason, and I think you know what it is: it’s to change the world.” – Phil Libin, CEO of Evernote

When you became an entrepreneur, you never bargained that your choice would be compared to that of the roller coaster ride. I not a big fan of roller coasters; however, when my kids wanted to go on them, I would pull out my watch and I would look at how long it would take for the roller coaster complete its course. I would take a look at the loops in size them up figure out the risk and what I could tolerate and what I could not. At Knott’s Berry Farm, there was the Sidewinder roller coaster – 45 seconds. I told myself I can do anything for 45 seconds. The choice of becoming an entrepreneur is a big decision and it’s definitely more than 45 seconds in length. It’s not about instant gratification but it’s more like planting a seed and nurturing and watching it grow.

11986494 - rollercoaster ride (against blue sky)Many people believe that 90% of businesses will fail in their first five years. According to US statistics, the survival rate of the business increases as many years as it can continue which averages about 50 to 60% survival rate in five years. You may be asking yourself why is that so challenging to be an entrepreneur. Wouldn’t it be easier just to secure the 9-to-5 job?

No, not really. There may be many reasons that you decided to take the leap or start a business off the side of your desk for hopes of complete transition in the future. Many entrepreneurs choose the lifestyle and the business because they saw something different about the way things could be done, or they wanted the freedom to call their own shots. Maybe you wanted the life balance. For those of you who don’t know entrepreneurs, they work long hard hours more than the 9-to-5 person but they do have that flexibility to call the shots.

Where businesses fail is when they try to scale up their business too quickly, they don’t know their numbers, they try to do everything themselves, they fail to execute because everything needs to be perfect or they sabotage their success in getting their own way. You don’t just build it and they will come. You need to put in the work.

TMW_PDFclickhere.fwWhen I became an entrepreneur there was lots to learn and the majority of what I learned was not what I learned in school. My experiences have come from real life mistakes and successes and many trials and errors. To the outside world, it may look perfect but on the inside was someone working really hard to pay attention to every detail so that if there was a mistake or issue that could be resolved quickly or no one would notice.

The biggest thing with any business- is knowing your vision, mission, and core values. What’s that? Your compass. What is it that you do and how do you do it? Most importantly, it’s about knowing your why. Why do you choose to do which you do? When you use this as your center of guidance you will make in decisions that will help guide you.

As you get started in your business it is just like going up the first slope, it gets very exciting you may make a few sales see some money coming and get excited and suddenly challenges:

Why isn’t everything going smoothly?

Where is the money going to come for that? What you mean this cost so much? We need a return on investment?

What is the profit and loss statement?

Is it marketing or branding?

Should I hire or fire?

You start learning what you don’t know. The negative self-talk comes in and you can hear yourself saying: I’m not smart enough I’m not lucky I did not have the resources I don’t I don’t I don’t the list could go on. Your focus on all the reasons you can’t succeed “the lack” of this can be completely draining. Whatever you believe in your mindset, you will be looking for evidence to support it. Trust me you will find it. Let’s not go were negative self-talk takes you it’s only in a downward spiral.

Things you need to do to help propel you can keep you buckled into enjoy the ride of your roller coaster.

Quit beating yourself up!

Remember everyone started somewhere.

Silence your mind of chatter.

Determine what you want to accomplish.

Make a plan for deliberate action.

Each day take 3 to 5 steps toward your vision.

Create a structure that supports your actions.

Develop habits that support you. How many hours of sleep does your body needs to function at optimal level? How often do you need to exercise to stay mentally focused and strong? What are you doing to ensure that your help eating healthy and drinking enough water to stay hydrated?

Celebrate the wins along the way.

Ensure that you are measuring what you’re doing. What gets measured gets done.

Find a mentor or hire a coach to help hold you accountable or teach you some of the things you need to know.

Commit to continuous learning.

Establish routines and structure that will help support you in reaching your goals.

Embrace any uncertainty that you have as there will be many uncertainties on the roller coaster of the entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs know that long-range success isn’t about instant gratification it’s about starting small and continuously growing. When you stop taking action, that’s when you break the momentum.

All I know is if you don’t hang on to what’s important to you and why you’re doing it, you will not enjoy the journey and you may reach the destination but it won’t have any fulfillment. You need to have that stick with it attitude to get through the tough times and know that you’re not the only one who’s going through these issues. Tap into your network get the support that you need and be the change you want to see in the world.

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time: 10:00

Keywords: entrepreneur, business, mindset, motivation, biztips, challenge, entrepreneur rollercoaster, marketing, branding, sales, entrepreneurial lifestyle, entrepreneurship, work-life balance