Debra Kasowski

Why Optimism Beats Pessimism

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You are faced with a variety of life events and circumstances every day. Each event or situation can be viewed in a positive or negative way. Your perspective is your outlook on the world around you. According to psychologists, you are either an optimist viewing the world from the viewpoint of a glass “half-full” or a pessimist viewing the world as a glass “half-empty”. For the most part, you are not happy or sad 100% of the time but you will lean more to one or the other disposition predominantly. Which one are you?

“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so.”
― Noam Chomsky

The Optimist

Optimism is defined as taking on a favorable view of events or circumstances and to expect positive outcomes. Optimistic character symbols are the fish Dory from the Disney Film Finding Nemo with her positive attitude and phrase, “Just Keep Swimming” demonstrating persistence. The Donkey from the movie Shrek does not seem to let anything bother him – everything just rolls off his back. The Disney character Goofy seems to do things without doubting of things with work out; he just does. You may see these characters as overly optimistic but it helps them face any adversity that comes their way.

Optimistic people look for the good in situations and believe that most people’s actions are filled with good intentions. They have a “can-do” attitude and see negative events as a temporary setback and see these hardships as learning opportunities for growth. They persist when faced with adversity. An optimistic person practices gratitude and acknowledges what is going well. They are positive and are confident in their abilities. When optimistic people share the events of their day, they tend to focus on sharing good events over negative ones. Uncertainty does not throw optimists off track; they see unscheduled or unplanned events as an opportunity and adventure to be seized.

The Pessimist

Pessimists are in the state of mind of expecting only the worst outcomes. These people have similar characteristics to the characters of Chicken Little who created a widespread panic that the sky was falling when it was only an acorn that fell, Charlie Brown was full of dread, negativity and worry, and Eeyore who was full of doom and gloom. People with these pessimistic characteristics can wear on the patience of others and suck the energy out of a room.

Pessimistic people believe that negative events were caused by them. What power they have! They believe that one mistake leads to a Domino Effect of mistakes. If something positive was to occur to them like a promotion or winning a prize, they would attribute these successes to luck, chance, or a fluke accident and the likelihood of it ever happening again was nearly impossible.

A pessimist can cause habit in the marketplace, business, or organization. They can negatively influence their employees, colleagues, and co-workers. I have watched this happen and it can move like wildfire. They start demonstrating poor work habits, carelessness, and lack of motivation. They become distracted and disengaged with the people who they are serving. Stress increase as these individuals gossip and complain. Others start to dread coming to work. They see setbacks as permanent and they are less flexible in challenging their perspective. There is increased fear, worry, and anxiety about the future which in turn impacts productivity and performance and thus the bottom line – profits.

Ultimately, optimism beats pessimism. Optimists live longer healthier lives. They have lower stress levels because they do not allow situations and life circumstances to dictate their happiness. They tend to be more successful and have increased productivity. Optimism impacts your overall well-being – it “feels good” to be positive and uplifting.

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

Way to Beat the Doom and Gloom of Pessimism

  • Challenging assumptions by questioning your thoughts (Is your thought true?)
  • Reframe negative thoughts into positive thoughts
  • Learn from mistakes and adjust your course by doing it again until you get it
  • “Act as if”; be who you need to be now to achieve what you are trying to succeed at. Do not wait to be in the leadership role to become a leader.
  • Look for the good and what you have to be grateful for. The more you are grateful for, the more that will show up in your life to be grateful for.

Each day we have a choice. Which perspective will you choose – the optimist or the pessimist? At the end of the day, optimism beats pessimism. You cannot help wanting to be a part of the positive energy; it contagious. What attitude do you want to spread? How full or empty is your glass?

I believe it is not how full or empty your glass is what determines the quality of your life; it is about the people you meet, the places you travel to, and choices you choose to fill it with. Seize the opportunities live life to its fullest and drink up!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

How to Master the Mental Game to Achieve Peak Performance

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We take for granted the power of our thinking. I was recently talking with my son about his golf game. He was preparing for a golf tournament. I wanted to know how he mentally prepared for his golf game – what was he thinking with every shot? When I asked him, he mentioned that his mind is a clear state. “I try to think of nothing.” How was this possible?

Last year, when he played I noticed that when he was on tournament tour his score was significantly higher than when he was golfing with family and friends. Even though he did not talk about it, I could sense the performance anxiety and the analyzing of every shot. I would talk with him about the power of positive thought and self- talk. Focus on what you want not what you don’t want. Golf, life, and business are all about the mental game.

Recently, he came home from the driving range and stated, “Mom, guess what? My friend asked me the same question you did. What are you thinking before you take your shot?” He laughed and mentioned that I ask him that question regularly – nothing. His friend went on to tell him about the power of positive thinking and how golf was a mental game. I was grinning, “Son, what does your mother tell you and what does she teach others?” Yeah, I know Mom. He said it would change my game if I thought that every shot I take I thought about hitting a great shot. You know what? It works!”

“When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”

Buddist Proverb

Maybe I was not the right teacher. I even talked to him about the Power Poses that Amy Cuddy talks about in her TEDTalk. I asked him to do the “Victory Stance” with his arms up in the air. He teased me, “My mom is crazy!” with his arms up the air beaming ear to ear. Teenagers! It definitely created a positive state. Now his friends have even started doing it. Subliminal messaging may work!

How does apply to life and business? Your mindset directly influences how your act and perform. Your self-talk directly impacts your thinking and ultimately your focus.

Personal Mantras

Golf performance coach, David MacKenzie talks about having personal mantras. Keeping a positive focus is a must. Whether you are on the golf course, selling your products, or delivering a business presentation, you need to keep your head in the game.

The most powerful phrase is… “I am…”

Joel Osteen talks about “Whatever follows I am will follow.”

Make it empowering. Say things like…

I am a great presenter.

I am an effective leader.

I am mentally tough.

I am capable of overcoming any challenge.

The way you speak to yourself does matter. You may not think anything of it but it does. You can be sabotaging your own success.

Focus on the present…be mindful

Take a deep breath when you are faced with a challenge. Deep breathing is not only calming but it helps bring you back to the present moment – the opportunity at hand. Your mind can be freed of the mental chatter clouding your judgment. Whatever challenge you are facing, know that you can figure it out.  Just Breathe.

Don’t Beat Yourself Up

We can be our worst critics pointing out every fault, flaw, or failure. We are harder on ourselves than we are with others. What we say and think about ourselves is not always the realistic. Your thinking can be distorted.

Challenge your assumptions and question your thoughts. Remember you are a work in progress.

Exaggerating. Are you thinking of the situation as the end of the world? This is it – it’s over. If so, you are missing out on the learning and the possibilities that lie in front of you.

Black and White Thinking. There is no room for compromise. If it not a certain way, it is not right. Remember there is more than one way to get to your destination. What else can you do?

Emotional Reasoning. No matter what you are thinking, you can find proof to demonstrate you are right even though it may not be the what is actually going on. “I think and feel it is true. I can find evidence to prove it.”

Mindreading. You are assuming what others are thinking or saying about you without even knowing the truth. If you really want to know ask. Otherwise, remember the saying, “What other people think of you is none of your business.”

Reframe & Replace

Pay attention to your self-talk. What are you saying to yourself? We have 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts in a day and the majority of thought is said to be 80% negative so it is very important to pay attention to what you are thinking and reframe and replace it with positive thinking and words.

If you are saying…

“The presentation (meeting) was awful.”  Change it to… “I can do better on the next one.”

“I am a failure.” Change it to… “I am learning and growing.”

“I will never get it right.” Change it to… “I will take a different approach next time.”

Drop words like always, never, and can’t from your vocabulary. Shift your thinking from thinking things are impossible to possible.

Positive thinking impacts your performance. When I work with my clients, your mindset is a key piece that we focus on. Utilize these strategies to develop mental toughness and confidence so you can master your mental game and achieve peak performance. As the saying goes, “What you think about you bring about.”

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

3 Ways High Performers Get into the Zone

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Have you ever wondered how they do it? You know how the high performers get so laser focused on achieving their goals.

Some people call it “getting into the zone” or “into the flow”; this is where you are super focused and your concentration is full on. You become an unstoppable force in pursuit – in pursuit of a grand vision.

You may think that getting into the zone was only reserved for athletes; however, it applies to anyone who wants to be a high performer. You could be preparing for the big board meeting or pitching a business idea. You could be an artist painting a picture, a musician preparing for a big gig, or a student studying for an exam. What areas of your life do you what to be known as a high performer?

High performers all have three things in common: motive, mindset, and mastery.

Motive

High performers have a clear understanding of what motivates them. High performers are motivated from within and do not necessarily need someone outside in themselves to push them toward their goals. Recognition and rewards can be motivating but are not often the sole motivators. They know their “why” for doing what they want to do and they make specific plans to get there. They take time to learn how to do what they want to do and break it down into smaller manageable pieces. These performers have a clear picture of how everything may unfold; and they learn to let go and trust in their abilities.

Mindset

High performers prepare their mindset by eliminating as many distractions as possible. Have you ever seen the movie “The Legend of Bagger Vance” with Will Smith and Matt Damon? Matt Damon’s character was a golfer who needed to have the ability to zone the crowd out and focus on his next shot. When high performers get in the zone they are able to move be laser focused on what they are working on without distraction.

They may eliminate clutter or create a space or environment where they feel at their best. Clutter can be external like messy desk or piles clothing waiting to be folded. Internal clutter such as negative self-talk can create self-doubt and sabotage your actions. Listening to music or podcasts can put you in a good mood and leave you in a positive state.

Exercise is an excellent way to set your mindset. It increases blood flow to the brain making you more alert and awake during exercise but more focused after exercise. Yoga, meditation, and prayer also focus the mind. For some high performers timing can be everything, they work when their energy is the highest to achieve the greatest results. An example of this is the person who gets up early or the person who stays up late to do what they need to do.

Mastery

High performers imagine their success and m person mastery. They do this through the power of visualization and acting as if they have already achieved what they already want. Start each day or end every evening visualizing achieving success in details as if it was reality. Actor Jim Carrey credited his success to the power of visualization. He wrote himself a check for $10 million dollars for acting services rendered. Vision boards are a very powerful tool to keep what you want top of mind.

“Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe.” – Oprah Winfrey

Journaling your success is another way to focus on what you wish to achieve. Write out the events as if everything was unfolding the way you want it to be. Your perception is your reality.

Remember the brain cannot distinguish between what is real and imagined so putting yourself in the state and imagining yourself as of achieving it makes it real. Your positive thoughts influence your feelings and the actions you will take to achieve your goals. High performers often attribute practice and more practice as the key to their success. They aim to give their very best to succeed.

To be a high performer, you must be persistent and stay committed to your course of action. You must know what you want and why you want what you want. You must enjoy what you do in order to do it well.

What actions will you take to get into the zone and become a high performer?

 

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

7 Things You Can Do When Life Knocks You Down

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No matter how planned and prepared you are, life can throw you a curve ball that you did not expect. You may have been passed over for promotion that you had been anticipating and had worked hard for. Your investments took a loss or your business failed. You may be the salesperson who is constantly faced with rejection. An injury may have ended a career. No one would blame you for feeling down and out. You may experience depression and feel unworthy; however, nothing will change until you make the change.

“It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get up.”

Vince Lombardi

Change begins with a choice. The choice is to not let a situation or circumstance keep you knocked down and define your future. It does not matter if you are an entrepreneur, business owner, or part of an organization these strategies apply everyone.

Perspective is everything. Your perspective is your reality. Being knocked down is not a permanent state if you plan to get up. This setback is temporary and you are setting up for your greatest comeback.

Find the lesson. Every situation can be viewed as a good thing or bad thing. Again it’s a matter of perspective. What is it that you can learn from this situation to assist you in the future? What can be improved? What can you stop doing? What do you need to start doing?

Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparing yourself to others is a negative downward spiral; the trouble is your comparisons are usually to one moment of time and not a person’s lifetime. By comparing yourself to others you are discounting your own skills, abilities and talents that you bring to the table. Your self-confidence decreases when you don’t believe that you measure up.

Start celebrating your small successes. Make plans to celebrate your small achievements as these small successes create momentum and motivate you to continue working toward achieving your goal. It is so easy to move on to chasing your next achievement. You won’t realize how far you’ve come until tell you acknowledge where you came from.

Compete with yourself. People often get frustrated when they’re trying to compete with someone else for time, money, resources, and even attention. Your focus should be on being a better you today than you were yesterday. Can you lead to better today than you did yesterday? Can you ask better questions today than yesterday? Can you put in more effort today than you did yesterday? Effort will always surpass talent.

Make you use of the resources you currently have. So many people get stuck because they think they need to have certain things in place before they can take action. Truth is most of the time you have everything you need in front of you to take action. They have to shift their mindset from scarcity to one of abundance. There is enough resources for everyone. People will complain or come up with excuses that they don’t have enough time or money. The economy is bad. Create your own economy. There are businesses and organizations prospering – why can’t you. Everyone has the same amount of time it is all about how it’s being used. Although we don’t all have the same amount of money, every dollar that you have can be assigned to the use. There are many ways to earn more money based on your talents, skills and abilities. You just need to put your thinking cap on and get creative.

Take massive action. Don’t let the fear of failure have a chance to grow. The longer you avoid taking action the harder it will be to take action in the future. Nothing will keep you down for long when you make a plan to take massive action where you can see results almost immediately or within a short time frame. When you start seeing results, you get a boost in self-confidence and are more likely to take action.

You may be down for a short time but what matters is how you handle it and how soon you get up. Setbacks can be a blessing in disguise. Take time to recognize that you are getting stronger every day and with each new experience you are more competent. You can handle anything that comes your way and you have abundant resources around you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Start being inspired by your own actions.

Never quit. See the challenge as an opportunity – get up and go back into the ring!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up for Debra’s Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

How to Test Your Reality and Combat Negative Thinking

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Negative thinking can cause a person to jump to conclusions without checking out all the facts. We all have negative thoughts at one time or another; negativity is normal. When we start to “paint every situation with the same brush”, we fail to remain objective and make effective decisions.

Have you ever let your imagination run wild wondering why you haven’t heard from someone? Have you ever wondered why someone else got promoted over you? Have you ever made an assumption and realized you are totally wrong? Reality testing helps you remain objective so that you can identify and understand the emotions you are feeling and deal with what drives them.

“The things that never happen, are often as much realities to us, in their effects, as those that are accomplished.” – CHARLES DICKENS, David Copperfield

Reality testing is part of Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalytic theory in which the ego is able to recognize the difference between the external world (reality) and the internal world-the world of the mind. Testing reality is the ability to see a situation for what it really is and allows the ego to distinguish between fears, beliefs, hopes and actual reality.

When you think negatively about a situation, you may think that the worst will happen which destroys any positive energy which drives you toward a purpose and drains the possible resources. Doubt creeps in. Negativity is compounded when there is a sense of distrust or you get involved in gossip.

Negativity or errors in one’s thinking such as over-generalization, “all or nothing” thinking, blaming others or excepting blame when there’s no one to blame to be had can all lead to anxiety which in turn impacts a person’s behavior. Your thoughts and feelings influence the actions you take. When a negative outcome comes occurs, you may feel defeated and discouraged. Your mind will start searching for negative memories to rationalize the outcome to support why something happened to you and this rationale will become a new belief.

“Reality is determined not by what scientists or anyone else says or believes but by what the evidence reveals to us” –Alan Hale

 

In order to combat this way of thinking, you need to consider everyone involved in a situation, the circumstances, environment, and all potential outcomes and effects. Re-frame the situation into a positive thought or feeling. By putting things into perspective, you become “emotionally balanced” and you are able to make effective decisions. You can get rid of negative emotions through utilizing positive self-talk, reminding yourself that first impressions are not always correct, challenging assumptions, self-reflecting on strong emotions when they arise, or by asking someone you trust for their perspective. When you purge negative emotions, you are able to adapt to situations with ease and you are able to face life situations with courage and conviction therefore, improving your coping skills.

How do you ensure your emotions do not get the best of you when making decisions?

What ways do you challenge your assumptions to verify if something is true of not?

Reality testing helps combat negativity. You can choose to stay away from being a part of the water cooler gossip or negative conversations. Re-frame your negative self-talk. Remember your emotions guide you and give you information about your reality. Treat each situation as a new situation. Ask questions. Check out all the facts before jumping to conclusions and letting the negative part of your imagination run too wild before determining the truth.

What ways do you combat negative thinking?

How has negative thinking impacted your reality?

 

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 Magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com