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EPISODE 20: Being Committed to the Plan

August 23, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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EPISODE 20 – Being Committed to the Plan

“There’s a difference between interest
and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it
only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you
accept no excuses – only results.”
―Kenneth H. Blanchard

It amazes me how many people don’t get past the decision that they know that they need to make a change. Some people are only interested in making a change but do not want to put together a plan of action to really make that change become reality. Commitment is the feeling of dedication and loyalty to a cause, activity, or job; to be wholeheartedly dedicated. Commitment is important in any form of success. You will want to ensure that you have listened to Episode 19-Be Willing to Sacrifice for Success.

How bad do you want what you say you want? Have you been talking about doing something or are you ready and committed to making a plan of action and to follow through?

Get Your Mind Right. First of all, you need to believe you can do it when you believe that you can accomplish something you will persevere when tough times come upon you.

Interest is talking about getting into shape; commitment is getting up and going to the gym regularly.

Interest is surfing the Internet or researching information about a topic; commitment is about creating content and publishing it.

Interest is buying a book on financial management; commitment is reviewing your numbers, tracking your spending, and implementing what you have read.

Have you noticed the difference between interest and commitment?

Interest is a passive activity; whereas, commitment is active.

47421557_s Commitment is about taking action and getting results.

We can slip into the habit of interest very easily. If we look at the different areas of our lives, we might notice that some areas were more committed at certain times than we are at others.

I was taken back recently as I was sharing many of the accomplishments and the growth of the podcast with a friend. She knows that I’m a big dreamer and I would like to accomplish so many more things.

And then she posed the question, “Why are you stalling?” “Why are you holding yourself back?”

She caught me off guard but at the same time, I had a moment of clarity.

“Why wasn’t I taking the actions steps I knew I needed to do?”

I told myself that I have competing priorities. I had to remind myself where my greatest return on investment would be. If there is one thing I could be doing right now that would make the biggest difference, why wasn’t I doing it?

I had no excuse. I knew what I needed to do.

I came home that evening and completed the paperwork that I needed to do to put the closure of something I had been delaying and to move forward direction. I contracted a freelancer to do some graphic design work for my speaker one sheet that I kept telling myself I had to edit. I stayed up till 3 AM because when you that I needed to get this done once and for all.

No excuses! I made it a priority. I texted my friend and her with a response was awesome! It is interesting to me how others can see which you need to do but sometimes when you’re so close to what your goal is for whatever reason you fail to see it. That is why it is important to surround yourself with people who support you and want to help you achieve your goals. When I was sharing this story with a mutual friend, she stated the same thing which reinforced to me that these new actions needed to be taken.

My next question was: Do I truly believe the thoughts I have been having?

No…so why should I hang on to the belief? Do what you need to do and see what happens? The “yes” you have been waiting for could be closer than you think.

Sometimes we think that we need to be at a certain level of knowledge, fitness, or finances to be credible or believe that others will value what we have to say. You already know enough, you are perfect the way you are, and rich or poor no one can define your worth but you. Let others hear your voice and step up to the table. Share your ideas and go after your dreams, you never know whose life will change when you follow through on doing what you need to do.

Rise Up. People who rise up are the most committed. You will need to be dedicated to doing the work even when you don’t feel like it. A friend of mine recently returned from some naval training, he posted a picture of his troop doing push-ups in the rain and mud.

Permission Granted from Steve Welton Facebook

The picture was worth 1000 words when it comes to commitment. I’m sure many of us might say, “You know what? We can do those inside.” These individuals defined commitment- rain or shine they got it done. This is what we need to do -it is to know that each day we need to do what we say we need to do in order to get closer to our goals. Sometimes what happens is when you skip one day it is too easy to skip the next day? You need to build habits that when you don’t feel like it, you take some sort of action to keep the momentum going. When you face uncertainty, you need to continue taking action. Your action may be gaining knowledge by doing research or asking a mentor. No matter what that is you are still taking action – step into it!

Make a Plan. Don’t hold anything back. Make a plan and be very clear as to what that will look like. Set goals and break down those goals into smaller manageable pieces. These are the actions steps that you need to take to help get you closer to where you want to be. Plans can change as you go. It is about progress, not perfection.

Maintain Your Focus. Focus on what’s most important to you. Learn what your values are. Set your priorities. When you align your decisions with your values setting priorities becomes easy. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. Remember they are on their own path reaching their own goals. Your goal may not be the same as the goal that they set for themselves so focus on what you need to do. People who are able to define what’s important to them can be intrinsically motivated to go after their goals. Others do not mean to nag or prod them to go after what they say is important to them they do it because they want to get the results.

Set Up Accountability. Track goals, put a stake in the ground and tell people what you’re and planning to do, or hire a coach or invest in an accountability partner. Setting up accountability will keep you on track and committed because you have to answer to yourself or someone else.

Create a No Excuse Zone. A person who is committed to their plan doesn’t make excuses they go and make things right. This is when you see ordinary people doing extraordinary things. It is all because of their level of commitment.

Make Quitting Not an Option. A person can only quit when they decide that the goal is no longer important to them and that they are no longer intrinsically motivated to obtain that goal. There will be times when you will feel like you’re tested and you come so close to achieving your goal and you may have a setback. This setback is not the time to quit it is a test to challenge you and help you push further out of your comfort zone. You will figure it out allow yourself time to be in the space of growth.

I watched a Big Think Video narrated by Jesse Itzler. He mentioned that he met a Navy Seal at a race and decided to cold call him to see if he would come and live with his family for a month. He figured he could learn a thing or two from him. The video is about the Navy Seal 40% Rule. When we feel that we are done, we have only utilized 40% of what we have in our tanks. We do not utilize our full capacity – there is so much more in us to give.

An article in Inc magazine stated, “For the SEAL, though, it’s about realizing where your comfort level is and completely ignoring it. Sometimes it truly is hard to know whether something is worth doing.” Are you going to do what is easy or are you going to do what you need to do because it will be worth it?”

I want to leave you with a quote:

“If you had started doing anything two weeks ago, by today you would have been two weeks better at it.” ― John Mayer

You are enough! Be committed to the plan and make what you want to happen! No stalling! No holding yourself back – go get it!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time: 16.22 min

EPISODE 19: Be Willing to Make the Sacrifices for Success

August 18, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Episode 19 – Be Willing to Make Sacrifices for Success

“Success is like anything worthwhile. It has a price. You have to pay the price to win and you have to pay the price to get to the point where success is possible. Most important, you must pay the price to stay there.” Vince Lombardi

Many people want what success will give them. For some people, it is the fancy cars, luxury homes, exotic vacations, stylish clothing, or dining experiences. For others, success is owning their own home or having the ability to send their children to college. You must define what success means to you. You will hear people talking about success and what they are going to achieve. There are only a few who will be willing to pay the price.

What? There is a price for success?

Let me reframe this for you; there are critical choices you must make to reach success.

“You do not pay the price of success; you enjoy the price of success.” Zig Ziglar

Many people want success. You will notice that few are willing to make the commitment, investment, and sacrifices to achieve great success. You have to be willing to be committed for the long haul and know that you need to make short-term sacrifices to get there.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

You will have to step out of your “comfort zone” that sense of security to try new things, gain more knowledge, and even take some risks. Your comfort zone is a familiar place. You know what to expect and things are pretty good where they are but not great. You do not want to rock the boat and disrupt what you have going on. The only problem is that it is predictable and does not stretch you. You no longer anticipate what your efforts will give you because you already know. Maybe you have thought about change but are fearful of failing. If you never fail in this world, you are playing so safe, you will not learn and grow and become the person that you’ve been meant to be. Imagine what life would be like if you if you could wake up each day anticipating and being excited about what you get to do and how much you get to stretch yourself into who you need to be.

What I notice is people don’t want to raise their standards or make the sacrifices. They want the easy path. Another excuse I have heard is that I’m too busy. “Busy” is the buzzword of society but I don’t believe when people say that they’re busy that there truly being productive they may be filling their time with a number of other things. We make time for what is important to us. When we say we’re too busy, it means we don’t care or somebody or something is not important to us. I’ve even heard people say success is too expensive why should I even bother. If you really want something, you will do what it takes to be, do, or have it.

Some of the sacrifices you may need to make are:

Spending less time watching television or socializing. I know for the business owners who are into networking you may be alarmed but I want you to consider for a moment are you socializing just to go out and have drinks and eat or you being selective in your social activities to network and build relationships. I’ve been to a number of networking events where many are just there to socialize and they’re not being intentional. Could you be spending this extra time working on yourself by developing new skills or gaining more knowledge?
Cut back on eating out. Could you be making meals at home versus eating out frequently? Look around your home there are probably several things around you that you could do without.
De-clutter and sell things off. Consider selling some of the things to help you invest in yourself. If you’re married and have a family, share your dreams with other people and talk about the sacrifices that may need to be made to accomplish your dream. Don’t forget to find out what others dreams are so that you can help support them as well because as you support them they will support you. When those sacrifices come up and everyone is focused on the goal and the goal comes into focus, the sacrifices won’t seem as huge as mountains. They will be just something that you need to do on your way to success.
Change up your vacation plans. Many people today are taking staycations in order to save money. There are a number of things that you could be doing in your local area or within in our vicinity that does not cost as much as taking a flight or arranging accommodations.
Consider getting a job. Sometimes we have to swallow our pride to achieve what we want. Getting a job can help provide some of the income you need to invest in yourself. Consider the job as your investor when you reframe it this way you won’t do it begrudgingly because you know it’s going to help you get to what you want. You may have heard of people cleaning houses or delivering pizza just so that they can have some extra cash to invest in their dreams or goals.

Remember that many of the sacrifices are short term for the long-term gain. I’m not saying that you never go on vacation again or you won’t be able to eat out. What I am saying is sometimes we got to do things that others aren’t willing to do to get what we want.

Be willing to make the sacrifices and pay the price for success. When you do this you are telling the world that you know what needs to be done to achieve what you want to.

Here are 3 things that you could be doing just to focus yourself on your success:

Be different. Do what separates you from the crowd; it gives you the extra edge. You must do what others may not be willing to do. You may get up early to exercise or meditate to start your day. It may be that you are practicing your speech for the 50th time so you can master it. Perhaps you wanting to get into shape and you’ve taken up running or another form of exercise; you need to practice your craft or activity rain or shine to be the best. We’re currently watching the Olympics on TV; do you think those athletes got there by saying you know what I don’t feel like doing it today? They invested in themselves and they put in the hard work and they were dedicated to their success. Your Olympic medal is your dream and your goal. When serving others, think of ways that you can take initiative can increase the value that you deliver. Put in the work to get it- be different than all the rest.

Here is a short story – a children’s story that reminds us that you never know when success will come and we need to do what it takes.

“One day, a train was approaching the small town of Cheekyville. On the train was a strange guy with a big suitcase. He was called William Warbler – the man, not the suitcase – and he looked very common indeed. What made him most unusual, though, was the fact that whenever he needed to communicate he did it by singing opera. It didn’t matter to William whether it was simply a matter of answering a brief greeting, like ‘good day’. He would clear his voice and respond,

“Gooood dayyy to youuuuuuuu….. tooOOOO!”

It wouldn’t be unfair to say that almost everyone considered William Warbler a massive pain in the neck. No one could get a normal, spoken, word out of him. And, as no one knew how he made his living – and he lived quite simply, always wearing his same old second-hand suit – they often treated him with disdain.

They made fun of his singing, calling him ‘Don No One’, ‘Poor-Rotti’, and ‘Lazy Miserables’. William had been in Cheekyville for some years, when, one day, a rumor spread round town like wildfire: William had secured a role in a very important opera in the nation’s capital, and there were posters everywhere advertising the event.

Everyone in the capital went to see it, and it was a great success. At the end of its run – to everyone in Cheekyville’s surprise – when William was being interviewed by reporters, he answered their questions by speaking rather than singing. And he did it with great courtesy, and with a clears and pleasant voice.

From that day, William gave up singing at all hours. Now he did it only during his stage appearances and world tours. Some people suspected why he had changed, but others still had no idea, and continued believing him to be somewhat mad. They wouldn’t have thought so if they had seen what William kept in his big suitcase. It was a large stone, with a hand-carved message on it.

The message said: “Practice, my boy. Practice every second, for you never know when your chance will come.”

Little did people realize that he only got the role in the opera because the director had heard William singing while out buying a newspaper.”

Pedro Pablo Sacristán

Pay attention to the little things. The smallest task may seem mundane but if you repeat it over time it has the compound effect in assuring your success. Some people don’t like numbers so they avoid them. Knowing how much money is coming in and going out can make a huge impact on the decisions you make. Compare and contrast new ideas so that you can gain a full perspective and get creative with your approach to challenges.
Visualize your goal or dream. If you can’t see what you’re going after, how will you know when you’ve gotten there or what you need to do to accomplish it? Take time to get clear on what it is you want to achieve. If you want to climb the corporate ladder, speak to someone who’s gotten there. Ask them what it took to get there. Map out your goal or dream in detail. This is where preparation meets success. By mapping out all the details, you will be able to identify and eliminate any risks, you can identify resources and people who you need to speak with, and you are able to understand the order or sequence of milestones that you need to achieve on your journey. Truly it is not about the destination, it is who you become in the process-the

Make a commitment to yourself to regularly step out of your comfort zone because the more you get comfortable, the less open your mind is to make a change in going after what you really want in life. If you say it, start doing it. There are only so many hours in a day so the right time is now. Be willing to sacrifice what it takes to get the success that you want and soon enough you will have it.

“(You)can be as great as (you)want to be. If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive, and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done.” Vince Lombardi (adapted)

Time: 16:44 min

Keywords: Sacrifice for success, be willing to pay the price, commitment, invest in yourself, make the investment, practice, practice makes perfect, hard work, effort, dedication

EPISODE 18: Secrets to Success and Health

August 16, 2016 by Debra Kasowski

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Episode 18 – Secrets to Success and Health

“If we are creating ourselves all the time, then it is never too late to begin creating the bodies we want instead of the ones we mistakenly assume we are stuck with.”
― Deepak Chopra

Research shows that there is a direct correlation between our health and our success. When I talk about health I am talking about the physical, psychological, that emotional piece and financial health. As many of you may or may not know, I have a degree in nursing and health has played a very important aspect in my life. I have been there when a baby has taken their first breath and I’ve held the hand of someone who is taken their last. I want to impress upon you the importance of how your health impacts your success. Take a moment to think about the people you would identify a successful. What type of person are they? What do they have that makes you believe that there successful? Do they look after their health? I am focused on the physical, psychological, and financial health.

Physical Health

I can talk about this topic for days but I’ll make sure that we streamline and for the purposes of this podcast. It has been demonstrated that people who were physically fit tend to eat better, have better habits, and they missed fewer days of work because they’ve developed a high resistance to illness because their immunity is strong. Physical fitness provides many benefits and it is more than looking good in the mirror. I once read an article about how our brain functions during exercise and as soon as we’re done exercising the blood flow shift to the front of the brain where we are better able to focus and concentrate. So if you have something that requires your focus and attention you may want to go for a brisk walk before or run or some form of physical activity before you jump in to your work. People who are active fit tend to be more accepting and tolerant of themselves and others. They are productive and better problem solvers. They retain information better than those who are not active. They expressed having low levels of stress and fatigue.

When I talk about being physically active, it’s about choosing to do activities that you enjoy. They may be done individually or as part of a team. It is recommended that everyone participates in some form of physical activity per 30 to 60 min. a day. I encourage many of the clients that I work with to keep their running shoes in their car so that they could fit in a brisk walk in between clients. It is important to take care of yourself so that you can serve others with your mission and your message. Without your health, you will be unable to achieve the level of success that you desire. If you require accountability, enroll a friend to get active with you or hire a personal trainer. Learn what it takes to be in your top shape. Don’t let your health slip with long hours and poor eating habits. Skipping exercising and grabbing a doughnut will not serve you.

I grew up on a farm and I used to carry 5-gallon pails to help my parents with the chores. I develop a strong upper body. My swim instructors used to tell me that I had a very strong upper body they need to do to work on my legs. When I was first introduced to working out or going to a gym, I was an able to do 10 pounds on a weight machine. I started small. I started with using my own body weight and built up to it. I can proudly say that I can do close to 70-75 pounds. I now enjoy kettlebells, TRX, and competing in triathlons. You can to and one of the easiest forms may be by just going for a walk.

Build exercise as a habit into your day and if possible do it in the morning so that you get it out of the way and you don’t find reasons not to do it. Develop the self-discipline to go after your fitness health as much as you do in other areas because how you do something is how you end up doing everything.

Sleep and Hydration

Ensure that you are hydrated and that you are getting enough sleep. I used to have a phrase that I used to say, “I will sleep when I’m dead”. If you overwork yourself and don’t take care of yourself that day may come sooner than you think. Plan to get at least 6 to 8 hours of sleep per night if possible. Develop a routine before you go to bed. Turn off the TV and electronics at least 30 min. before going to sleep so that you can calm down your mind. You will have a sharper mind and think much clearer about the decisions that you have to make on a regular basis.

Financial Health

One of the greatest sources of stress in society today and in marital relationships is financial health and usually, the lack of. When your finances are in order, everything around you seems more manageable. When your finances are out of order, there is an increase in stress, tension, and relationships, increase in illness such as heart disease and high blood pressure, and you may be short-tempered. There is a greater risk for misunderstandings and saying things that you don’t mean.

Learn how to manage her money and set a budget. Knowing the amount of money you have coming in and going out makes a big difference. You will be better able to make decisions about your finances and what you can and cannot do. Save for what you want. Instant gratification is not always the answer. There are many people who have clothes in their closet that still have a price tag on and have never been worn. Balance your cheque book and check your numbers daily if you can otherwise weekly and monthly. Assess what is working, what is not working, and what you can do to improve. You will start noticing the little things that you can be doing to make a big difference. It could be that you skip the latte or take a lunch with you in the car. De-clutter your home and sell things that are no longer of use to you. You will start to notice that as you relieve this weight on your shoulders that you will have the opportunity to think more clearly and see the possibilities around you.

We all face challenges in life some of these challenges are more demanding than others. It all depends on how we choose to either respond or react to the situation that affects their outcomes. In the past, research has shown that success is what makes people happy, but in recent studies according to the American Psychological Association, it is happy people who set goals, find the resources, and surround themselves with happy people who achieve success.

Success is a Mindset

Success is truly a mindset. It is who you are and what you choose to become. Commit to

lifelong learning. Learn new skills and develop your abilities. Learn to be mindful and be present in the moment. Be grateful for everything that you have and soon enough you will have more to be grateful for. When it comes to psychological and emotional strain, it often comes from misunderstandings and mindset. People will come from a place of judgment or who have fixed mindset are not open to learning perspectives of other people and their way is the only way. They are in a constant debate trying to defend their viewpoint. They react to situations versus response causing great tension. I encourage you to develop a learner mindset one in which is open to learning different perspectives, flexible and adaptable to new situations and sees feedback as an opportunity to learn and grow. By choosing to be a lifelong learner about the world around you, you will have less stress and be able to live more in the moment. Leave the past behind you for you cannot change the events. Learn to forgive yourself and others. For people who know better, do better and if they have learned from it let it go.

Start disciplining yourself and focusing on what it is you want to achieve. Make a commitment to yourself today that you will start looking after your health to ensure your success – a success that you will be around to enjoy.

“I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth diminishing your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.”
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

Time: 13:35 min

EPISODE 17: Harness the Power of Momentum

August 11, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Episode 17 – Harness the Power of Momentum

There are no limits to what you can achieve if you stay focused on what you are trying to achieve. You need to believe the impossible is possible for you. Your results may be better than you expect. Success has no guarantees; each action you take starts creating a momentum. If you stop taking action, you stop the momentum.

“Always work hard. Intensity clarifies. It creates not only momentum, but also the pressure you need to feel either friction, or fulfillment.”

— Marcus Buckingham

During my coaching program, we learned about Creative Tension – It moves us to take action. It helps us get out of our comfort zone and stretch us. Challenge us.

Why do we need it? What does it do?

Momentum helps us:

Push through and overcome obstacles. You may have heard about runners or even swimmer pushing through a certain distance to push forward what they may not have thought possible exclaiming, “What else can I do? What else can I do?” What else is possible for you?
Increase your motivation and confidence in your abilities. It helps you to try new things!

You are responsible for creating it through consistent actions. A rapid succession of successes and lessons drives momentum. Energy increases; it will be natural for others to want to follow you. You will become magnetic. You will start to inspire others around you.

Momentum is ignited when you have a clear vision – you know what you want to achieve, you are able to articulate and share your vision, and you can enroll others in your vision.

Do you want to get more clarity? Read my book GPS Your Best Life

Believe in your ability to make things happen. Your confidence, energy, and enthusiasm with excite others around you.

You are probably thinking to yourself – but how do I create a momentum – especially when times are tough or you are feeling challenged more than you think you can handle.

I want to share with you some of the ways that have worked for me and some of the clients I have worked with.

Challenge yourself – Be committed to continuous learning, stay curious and have a learner mindset. Try new things regularly.
Make a rule to quit complaining, blaming, and stop making excuses. You either get results or excuses.
Reduce your distractions. Declutter your space or your email. Clear whatever is in your way.
Be grateful for what you have; the more you will have to be grateful for.
Celebrate your successes – little things lead to big things! It will drive you to take more action. Breath in and acknowledge the successes before moving on to the next thing.
Deliver value and look for ways to exceed expectations. You will generate excitement in others and they will be grateful and share their experience with you – with others.
Do you least favorite activity first – EAT THAT FROG – Brain Tracy

Everything will move so much quicker with the momentum.

Set Milestones – You create anticipation. You may even meet goals quicker.
Measure your outcomes – what gets measured gets managed.
Fake it until you make it – take the actions you need to get to where you want to go. Who is a leader you admire? How can emulate some of the actions that they have taken to achieve success – do your homework. If you want to be a great leader, start being one now.
Make a plan – Work the plan. Otherwise, you will be chasing butterflies. Do you due diligence and your resources.
Don’t forget to dream – Sometimes when people are too realistic to the bone, it drags people down. Dreams can propel you further rather than looking at your current circumstances.
Follow up with people you have met at events or make inquiries – you will be surprised when you connect with others. They energy rises and people take an interest in what you are doing.

What happens when you stop running on a treadmill or riding a bike?

You stop moving – you fall off.

Worry and doubt can paralyze you from taking forward action. They drain your energy. Challenge yourself – test your theories. Ask questions. Gain knowledge – but don’t stop unless you know you are in danger.

No one is going to jail or getting hurt or killed in the process chances are whatever happens you can course correct.

We all start somewhere. There have been many successful people who did not start with any resources – no network of people, no money, no knowledge, did not know English or a language of the place they settled in. They built it and so can you.

“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.” — Og Mandino

Success is not about how many resources you have; it is about being resourceful and leveraging your resources in the most effective way. Focus on taking action and over time a compound effect with occur. If you are focused only on short-term activities to get immediate results, you will lose momentum quickly especially if you do not set a new target that stretched you.

Your efforts make a difference in how you feel about your progress and what you are going to achieve.

Let your efforts multiply!

Success comes from taking the initiative and following up…persisting…eloquently expressing the depth of your love. What simple action could you take today to produce a new momentum toward success in your life?

— Tony Robbins

You need to continually set new challenges to learn and grow. Acknowledge how far you have come. Reflect on what you can do better and work to improve.

Time: 16:31 min

EPISODE 16: Challenges Make You Stronger

August 9, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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EPISODE 16 – Challenges Make You Stronger

37602986 - female rock climber climbs on a rocky wall Challenges are a part of everyday life. A challenge is something that pushes you out of your comfort zone. It can be something you challenge yourself with such as a goal or it could be something presented to you such as learning something new, getting a handle on finances, acquiring your next client, or seeking a promotion. Some challenges are easier than others. Some challenges knock us down for the count. Think about how many times you get up to face a challenge – that will determine whether or not you will push through it.

If you let the first time you knock you down; you will be paralyzed. I remember the first time someone unsubscribed to my newsletter. I was just devastated because of the one subscription. In that moment, I had forgotten about the hundreds of people who were subscribed. Maybe it was not the right fit for them. What I realize now is that people come into your life for a certain amount of time, a reason or a purpose and some people fade away. Understand that when we face those challenges not to take it so personally and feel defeated. It is about being able to rise up and embrace the challenges and move forward.

It was once said by someone that, “Challenges make you more responsible. Always remember that life without struggle is a life without success. Don’t give up and learn not to quit.”

Challenges make a person more resilient. You recognize your emotions that arise in different situations and how to manage them to become a better communicator or influencer. You become more self-aware of what you want and what you do not want. You develop clarity. You learn from mistakes. Don’t punish yourself. You are growing and stepping into the potential of who you are meant to be.

You can either let a challenge pull you down or you can use it to rise up.

45535742 - woman holding shopping bags at a boutique There was a personal challenge I faced when swimsuit shopping with my daughter. I had sent my daughter to go and purchase herself a swimsuit for a surprise trip. I was unable to go with her. She came home a tossed the bag to me and I did not think anything of it. She did not even show me what it looked like until we were leaving and then I realized that there was a $200 + price tag to this swimsuit. I was like, “What?” I am sorry I do not understand what 16 year old needs a two hundred dollar swimsuit. Anyhow, we ended up going on our trip and did not end up going swimming anyway but I knew a swimsuit you cannot return.

We had come home and we were leaving in a couple more weeks to go on vacation. We ended up going back to the same store where she had purchased the swimsuit. As she was trying on bathing suits, I could feel myself boiling inside even though the staff was wonderful to her. I was thinking to myself, “Why would anyone want in in a suit that makes her so much older that she did not feel energized and excited in?” She did not even feel comfortable in it. We ended up going swimming shortly after our surprise trip and she discovered that the suit did not fit properly.

As I was standing there, I could feel myself boiling inside. It is about being able to recognize those emotions. It was a challenge for me to think about how I was going to manage these emotions. It was my problem. The people in the store do not know what is bothering me. As it was getting close to closing time, the staff was being very patient and had no problem waiting for to finish trying on another suit. We did not end up buying a suit. [We had gone to another store and paid $20 for a swimsuit and going on our vacation. She was youthful, energized, and loved the suit that she had.]

ID-10089448 Meanwhile, I was quite frustrated as I was waiting for my daughter to finish up so I started to talk to the clerk. I proceeded to tell her about how I was feeling and how I was boiling inside. If I felt this energy, I could not imagine how and if they felt it. I began to share the story of what happened when my daughter had come for a swimsuit. The young lady at the till was phenomenal. She said “You should not have had that type of experience that is not how we work here.” She took my information. I informed her that we were leaving the next day on vacation. I told that I would not be able to deal with this right now. She said that it was okay and that she would speak to her manager to see what she could do for me.

She had phoned the very next day explaining that they were going to be doing something for me. I decided while I was on vacation that I would not deal with it until I got home. When I came home I called them, they had offered me a 20% discount. I thought you know it is a swimsuit; they are not going to return it. We already spent $200 in their store for something we were not happy with. She asked me if I was going to pick up the 20% off coupon and I stated, “I am not sure I am going to but thank you very much for your time. We will just take this as a loss.”

Not even 5 minutes later, she had called back. A district manager had heard her talking to me; she had explained that she could not return the bottoms. I stated that I understood based on my healthcare background. If I brought back the top, they would give me a full refund for the cost of the top to purchase anything else in the store. I said that was reasonable and that was something I could handle.

Again I was unable to go with my daughter so I spoke with the young lady that was working with her that I would be unable to be there. My daughter went in and they spent a lot of individualized – personalized attention with her. She came home with a new top to match her bottoms and a racer swimsuit for swimming lengths. She pulled it out and went to try it on to show me right away. She ended up getting two suits in the end.

What impressed me most was the young lady that was working with us. She put in a lot of effort; she was phenomenal. When I speak in front of groups, I talk about this young lady all the time. I went into the store a few days later and I had asked one of the other girls, “Can you tell me who the top person is, that I can talk to in your company? They gave me the President – they gave me all these people. I sent the lengthy e-mail. They are just in the swimsuit industry. They are in the industry of self-esteem, confidence, and help people feeling comfortable in the skin and that they are in.

I find it so powerful to be able to know that you’re doing more than just providing a product – more than a business transaction so I e-mailed a lengthy e-mail. I wanted this individual to be recognized. We were going to recognize her in our own way but we wanted somebody you higher up to realize the potential of this young lady and the difference she was making them from of life. I received an e-mail back from the owner of the company and she had forwarded our e-mail to the whole distribution list of all of their employees to realize that this is what they’re in business for and that they would recognize this young lady and in some way.

My daughter had gone a few days later and handed a little gift to this employee. She was nearly in tears for being recognized for going above and beyond her call of duty. How often do we do that – where we want to go the extra mile for our clients or customers making them feel that they matter?

These challenges that we face make us so much better. They make us so much stronger and we would never realize the impact it can have on other people because what I realized is that if I never speak up when I recognize an emotion that I have, either to clarify something with someone or to express how I’m feeling about a situation, this all would never have happened. When we talk about emotional intelligence, people say, “Oh, that’s the soft stuff!” Even though it is soft, it’s about people and making sure that people matter and how were communicating is a big deal. Think about how you communicate and how some of those challenges have come through communication.

Big Breath! I know that was heavy!

SPONSOR – LET’S BE CURIOUS! www.letsbecurious.ca

It really does amaze me how including me, can take things for granted until we are faced with a challenge. I remember completing a triathlon after not putting in a lot of training several years after I had done the course. Holy Man! I was in awe of what I had accomplished that I never credited myself for. The hard work and dedication it took to take on the challenge and to really acknowledge the sacrifices that went with it. Swim, bike, run. I was never a star athlete. I challenged myself to do what I saw other do. If they could do it, so could I.

One of the biggest challenges I see people face is often self-induced through the comparison trap. Comparing our self to others leads to a no win situation. Your intentions end up reflecting a competition and beating someone versus becoming better and being a natural choice. Start turning inward and set challenges for yourself – each day to become a better version of your Self today than you were yesterday. Become a better listener. Become a better employee. Become a better spouse. Become a better parent. Become a better boss. Hone your skills. Fine tune your strengths. The competition is with your Self. Beat your old self – running your own race.

Stop complaining about your circumstances. There are people who are in more delicate situations that you are right now. Some people are wishing they could walk or even run a race. Some people are fighting for their breath. Some people would love to have the job or business you do; due to health issues may not be able to do so.

Quit making excuses about all the reasons success has not happened for you yet. True success – sustainable success takes time and consistency. Are you using your time productively or are you getting sucked into the vortex of social media? Following blue links or just checking to see if someone just someone liked your post.

Stop blaming others for your position in life. You may hear people blaming their parents, spouse, kids, or boss for their position in life or their lack of resources for not being further ahead. You are in charge of you and the decisions that you make.

Who you are… is directly related to the life you have led and the choices you have made. As a child, your parents may have taught you a certain way of doing things. As you became your own person, you started to make your own decisions and choices. You could believe old patterns and beliefs or you could choose your own story of how things played out and how things have yet to be. Others have made choices and passed on their beliefs based on what they believe to be true. Do not be afraid to question, challenge assumptions, or offer a new perspective. You may have heard the story about a young adult preparing a roast after they were newly married. They cut off each end of the roast and placed in the roasting pan. When questioned and the person asked, “Why did you cut the ends off?” They replied that is how we have always done it – my mother did it that way and her mother did it that way.

What are you doing just because others do it that way?

Start viewing your challenges as blessings or opportunities. Write in a journal and start coming up with solutions to your challenges. Choose the story you want to hear and live. Remember your perception and what you believe is your reality. Is it the right belief? Is that what you want to believe?

Stay focused on the positive aspects of what you are trying to achieve. Be a “positive Choose to approach each day – “Today is going to be a great day!” – Speak it into existence. Connect with others and build relationships now – before you need them. If you do not have a support system, start creating one – people you know, like, and trust and who challenge you to become a better version of yourself.

“Handicaps often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.”

C.S. Lewis

Time: 19:34 min