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Episode 42 – Stop Analyzing Everything

November 8, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“The only people who see the whole picture are the ones who step outside the frame.”
― Salman Rushdie

Do you spend a lot of time in your own head? Are you replaying every situation over and over reliving every moment? Do you regret not taking action? If you answered yes to any of these questions you’re probably someone who analyzes every situation and you are an over thinker.

How do I know? I know because I used to be that person. About 8 or 9 years ago, I was sitting in the audience of a real estate seminar and I heard the speaker talking about online marketing and the potential of sharing information and educating people to help them make decisions and take actions that would transform their lives. As I was sitting there, all I could tell myself if I could do that. I went up to speak with the speaker after the event sharing my ideas as well as my thought process. He looked at me and said, “You don’t have to overthink things; it’s a lot simpler than you think.” He became my mentor. He challenged me to think differently than I ever had for this I am grateful because now I can see opportunities and possibilities.

Whenever I would start overthinking, I started to feel stressed out and even get anxious about the “how” of getting things done. I waffled when it came to making some key decisions. Sometimes I would even wake up at night wondering how will I ever get through this…make the money I want or even pay my assistant. You may have even caught yourself in the negative spiral thinking getting ready to believe the worst case scenario. All of this drains your energy. Thinking about a decision and making the decision are two different things. Decisive action is important if you are not going to miss out on opportunities. I know there were opportunities that passed by. My overthinking held me back from taking the action I needed.

How do you know if you are overthinking? You can’t stop thinking about anything else. It feels like the movie, Ground Hog Day, where the day gets played over and over. One of the most common thoughts is wondering what others think of you. You may have heard the saying, “What others think of you is none of your business.” It’s true. If you have not read, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel de Ruiz, I highly recommend it.

One of the agreements is not to take things personally. No matter if someone compliments – saying something great about you or criticizes you, saying something negative about you, it is their perception of their reality. I happen to want to take the compliments personally. We can definitely learn from and choose whether or not we with accept the latter. It does not need to define you. What matters is your perspective. Replaying what you could have done is sheer punishment, quit doing this to yourself.

What can you do about the “overthinking” or analyzing? You can start by taking action and doing more instead of learning more. You cannot start getting things into motion if you are hiding behind your computer or a book continuously working at learning more without taking action steps to move forward.

“We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them” – Albert Einstein

Here are some actions you can start taking:

Quiet your mind: meditation, prayer, or even sit in silence
Research new information
Make a to-do list
Journal out your thoughts in an objective way
Create an actionable plan
Set goals
Lay out a timeline with milestones
Ask questions: “If I could stop thinking about it, I would…” OR “Will what I am thinking about matter 1 year from now? 3 years from now? 5 years from now?
Listen to your advice. What would you tell a friend in a similar situation?
Distract yourself and put your attention elsewhere
Stop talking about the situation with others. Continuing to talk about it and ask advice from everyone we know we are continually thinking about the situation.

Action starts with making a deliberate proactive choice to get a different outcome. Put your energy on where you want your results to come from. I know it may feel like it is easier said than done. I challenge you to try it. Action is the cure for overthinking.

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time: 8:43 min

Keywords: What Causes Overthinking, Why Do I Overthink Everything, How to Stop Over-Analyzing, Over Thinking in Relationships, How to Stop Thinking, Overthinking Definition, Overthinking Quotes, How to Stop Overthinking Things, Stop Overthinking

where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

Time: 8:43 min

Episode 41- How to Deliver Value

November 3, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”
― Albert Einstein

Leaders, business owners, managers, and entrepreneurs are often striving for new ways to deliver value to those they serve. When your customer or client receives the value from your product service or offering, you will notice an increase in your profits and sales. You may even develop a consistent and loyal following. Thin about the brands and products you invest in. Do you have an emotional or social connection to them or is it because of the function it offers?

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary Online:

“Simple Definition of value

: to make a judgment about the amount of money that something is worth
: to think that (someone or something) is important or useful”

How does one create and deliver value? Value is in the perception of the client or customer. It is up to you to determine and learn what your customer value. Some customers are on the lookout for price savings. Whereas others are looking to save time or decrease the amount of stress that they may be occurring in their life or business. Another group of individuals may value increased efficiency and performance through creativity and innovation. Customers and clients are always looking for why something is relevant to them. The common question is “What is in it for me?” When they discover the value that it brings, the value you deliver goes up. Delivering value is not a one-time event, you need to be consistent in your delivering of that value.

Inspire your customers or clients through your “why”. Share why you do what you do and why it’s important to you.

Share your core values. When you share your core values, you are demonstrating how you and your company operate and make decisions. Core values help determine whether or not your client or customer is the right fit for your company.

Deliver on your promises. It is much better to under promise and over deliver than to over promise and fall short on delivery. Adding that element of surprise or over delivery makes a statement and makes something memorable.

Be consistent in your delivery and your messaging. Share testimonials in your marketing. You make decisions easier for your clients when they’ve heard what others have said about their experience of working with you and the benefits they have received. Consistency also demonstrates credibility. As people get to know you, they’re developing that know like and trust factor.

Save your client or customer time, money, or decrease their stress level. People are willing to pay sometimes more money than what others offer because it gives them peace of mind, increases efficiency, and increases performance.

Allow people to experience the benefits. People tend to see themselves in the testimonials and endorsements found in your marketing materials. If you offered a solution to one person, you may be providing the same solution to the person that is focused on in the marketing. This creates a very powerful experience as it drives an emotional connection to you.

Deliver to your client’s true need. Collaborate with others to discover you customers/clients’ needs, wants, and true need. Your client may describe a need or want but it’s important to really dig deeper into why they need it or why they want. When you are able to help your client to achieve their true need, they will champion you.

Ways You Can WOW Your Customer/Clients by Delivering High-Value Content

Articles-Share tips and strategies to help your client with the challenge or to improve. You can share them on LinkedIn, selfgrowth.com, other article directories, or your website.
Newsletters-Use your newsletter to communicate upcoming events and educate them on a specific topic.
Video-Create videos that motivate, inspire or educate your clients or customers.
Facebook Live – Share behind the scenes work or introduce members of your team and what they do.
Infographics-Infographics are great for those who are visual. They provide quick snippets of information along with the visual icon or picture which people can relate to.
Books – Send your customer a book you have read that may be a solution to a challenge they may be facing.
Testimonials/Endorsements– Use testimonials/endorsements in your marketing materials or visuals online. Word of mouth is one of the most powerful methods of marketing.
Visuals– Use visuals. People like and retweet an average of 35% more when a tweet or post has a visual.
Social Media – Demonstrate and share the value and benefits that your product or service provides. Be the solution.

Ensure you are focusing on your customer or client and NOT how much money they are making you. It is so important to trust the process and detach from the outcome. If you attach to the outcome your decisions with being based on fear and it may come across as an entitlement instead of delivering value and coming from a place of service.

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

Time: 12:51 min

Keywords:testimonials, endorsements, Client Value Creation, Drives Value for Clients, Creating Value for the Customer, Providing Value to Customers, Marketing and Customer Value, Marketing Creates value by, How Do You Create Value, How Does Marketing provide Value

Episode 40 – Being Interested or Being Interesting?

November 1, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” -Dale Carnegie

Networking and taking the time to get to know others is a powerful way in order to expand your network and get to know people. The only drawback is some people tend to want people to see them as the most interesting person in the room instead of being interested in others. In my favourite communication book, Just Listen by Dr. Mark Goulston, he talks about the “interesting” jackass, you may be able to relate based on conversations that you have had. These are the people who try so hard to be interesting and demonstrate how great they are but they fail to take interest in who you are. This can be frustrating and make you want to avoid these people altogether. Being interesting is important, however, there is a craft in order to share just how interesting you are.

If you want to leave a good impression with the people that you interact with, you want to take some time to take interest in the people you talk to. You do not need to have all eyes on you. This action often comes across as being insecure. When you start taking interest in others, they will start taking more interest in you. When taking interest in others, be fully present and actively listen to what they’re saying. Often in conversation people are thinking about what their responses instead of listening fully to what is being said. People tend to repel from people who talk about themselves all the time and how they’re better than everyone else. Instead of responding with your experience, ask probing questions to learn more about what a person who shared with you or summarize what you just heard to acknowledge that you been listening.

By asking questions, you are demonstrating that you want to learn more or gain an understanding of where a person is coming from. You may overcome shyness by asking questions and learning about others. This demonstrates a genuine interest in others. Here are several ways in which you can demonstrate a true interest in another person:

Discover ways you can help another person. Learn about the person you’re speaking with and discover their greatest challenge need, or want. Find a way to help them achieve it. They will be forever grateful.
Be a connector. Connect like-minded people together. When you meet people you may discover that someone in your network needs to meet the person you have just met. Send a virtual introduction or arrange a time where you can introduce them in person.
Be memorable. You become memorable because of your listening skills and your interest in others. By taking a genuine interest in others, you make people feel like they’re the most valuable person in the room and as you are speaking to them that they are.

Once you take time and interest in other people, they will also want to discover more about you. This is when you can share more about yourself. Remember the conversation and dialogue are very much like a dance. It’s not a competition to share how your experience is the same or better than theirs. The most powerful approach to being interested in others is to be nonjudgmental and come from a place of curiosity in which you would like to learn more.

Here are ways that you can become more interesting to others when it comes to your turn to share your knowledge, skills, abilities, and experiences:

Explore the world around you by going on adventures and travelling. I have learned that as we open ourselves up to the world we realize that we are a lot more the same than different. You also learn that everyone is driven by different values and traditions.
Have the courage to do new things and to step outside your comfort zone.
Read a new book once a month and share what you have learned with others.
Take up a new hobby.
Listen to music.
Try new foods or cultural activities.
Volunteer or support a cause.

Don’t think you are the only person out there expanding their life. When you come across as a “know it all” you can be send the wrong message. Be intentional with taking a keen interest in others. If you have a story to share that is relevant to an issue or concern they have been struggling with summarizing what you have heard and then offer to share a story or experience with others versus jumping in and telling it to them. No one likes to be told – they like being asked. Engage others in the conversation by using questions to learn more.

People will be more interested in you as you become more interested in them. It is all about how you make others feel. Make them feel like they are the most important person in the room. In that moment in which, you are in conversation with them they are.

Time: 9:43 min

Keywords:

How to be exciting, How Can I Be Interesting, How to be Entertaining, Being An Interesting Person, Be More Interesting, What is an interesting Person, How to be Intriguing, How to be Fascinating, How to Be Interesting Person, Ways to Be More Interesting, How to Become Interesting, How to Become Interesting Person, Just Listen, Dr. Mark Goulston

Episode 39 – Trust Your Gut

October 27, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Instinct is a marvelous thing. It can neither be explained nor ignored.” Agatha Christie

Have you ever had that gut feeling that something wasn’t right and you later regretted not paying attention to that sensation? A gut feeling is that visceral reaction, the reaction or sensation you feel in your body, that you have that is without any logical or rational thought. When making decisions, we don’t just rationalize a thought we pay attention to logic and emotions. You may have noticed as you search for solutions to a problem or issue at hand that you give weight to what confirms your assumption.

There are times you may feel guilty for trusting your gut versus gathering all the facts. Sometimes trusting your gut instinct is knowing things before you know them. It is that déjà vu; it is like you been there before. Your gut is sometimes referred to as your second brain however many will tell you not to trust it alone.

Instinct is what we use to protect ourselves. It is a matter of survival. By trusting your gut, you are also recognizing when something doesn’t feel right and that you need to pay attention to your body. There are times you may recognize that there is a risk of being in danger as you walk past someone on the street at night. When faced with a new situation where there is uncertainty you might have a gut reaction that tells you that you know how to do it and you figure it out. Sometimes listening to your gut means also knowing when to give a helping hand and help someone in need. You may have noticed someone needs help based on their facial expressions. It may be that you notice a person in tears. It may be that you pay attention to body language or cues in the conversation and ask probing questions. People often try to hide their sadness or disappointment. When people follow their gut, and truly trust the process, they may feel that they discovered an answer or solution. They may have been waiting for a signal and a song on the radio played or visual image came to them in a dream. It was the answer they were looking for so they were going to trust their gut.

The great news about intuition is that it is not exclusive to any one person. We all have the ability to use our intuition to trust our gut. This ability is something that comes naturally to us; however, it’s we often get too busy to recognize and listen to what we need to hear. I was watching a 2012 TedxTalk Sacramento regarding “Learned Intuition” with Patrick Schwerdtfeger and he was talking about at how at any one time we have 10 million observations going through our unconscious mind and we only attach or bring to our attention 100 with our conscious mind. We have a need to organize the information that comes in. We develop a learned intuition because it comes from our experience and expertise which he describes as making us almost a superhero. How do we develop experiences and expertise? – Immersion. If you want to learn French learn in France. A person will make greater improvements by doing practicing their skill or a sport over a period a consecutive number of days versus 1 hour per week. Interesting!

To develop your intuition you need to:

Pay attention to the situation. Step away from situations that cause you distress. This is your body’s way of warning you. Don’t push feelings away it is important to explore them. How does the situation make you feel? If something doesn’t feel right, change it.

Tap into your knowledge. Take time to examine the facts. How much do you know? What facts do you have at hand? Look for patterns and links between the information you gather the facts at hand.

Identify your feelings. What is influencing or informing your feelings? Pay attention. Are you being influenced by external factors such as a radio commercial, comments by a friend or family member, or something on the news?

Align what you know with what you feel. Does what you know online with how you’re feeling? You tend to gather information based on the people that you meet and the relationships that you experience. Sometimes people don’t acknowledge their feelings and they are looking for evidence based on actions. Whereas, others may analyze the situation and use what they’re feeling as confirmation to proceed.

What I find is that many of you listening including myself, sometimes take these whispers or gut checks for granted. They may show up in the form of dreams or hunches and we brushed them off. There is often an important message being shared. I believe in this busy world that sometimes we get further ahead when we slow down and clear our mind to consciously pay attention and practice paying attention to the world around us. The sign that you might be looking for to make an important decision may arrive.

Time: 15:25 min

Keywords: follow your gut, listen to your gut, trust your gut, second brain, hunches, trust your hunch, go with your gut, gut feelings intuition, how to develop your intuition, how to trust your intuition, pay attention to red flags,

Episode 38 – What You Resist, Persists

October 25, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Resistance shows up in many ways. Carl Jung, a Swiss psychologist, has been credited for the phrase “What you resist persists”. Have you ever noticed that no matter how much you avoid, hide from, or pretends something doesn’t exist a continuously shows up in your life in some form or another? This resistance is showing up because you are not accepting what is– current reality. Resistance shows up as suffering. You may become angry or resentful because you want something different than what you currently have. This frustration occurs not because of the experience you have had; it is about how you labeled the story of that experience.

45175399_s Whatever you are resisting means you are opposing or against it from occurring. The things that we really need or the lessons we need to learn in our lives are usually what we are resisting. An area in my life I face with resistance when it comes to physical activity is yoga. Now many of my friends tell me that resistance means that I should do more of it. I have attended three classes on three different occasions. I do not enjoy yoga. Each time seems to get better I actually stayed the full class the last time. What I have noticed is that my mind is moving with ideas percolating at any given time and I am challenged with slowing my mind down to match my body’s positioning. I see myself as a person of endurance and that is probably why I enjoy triathlons and running more than I enjoy yoga. With triathlons, I enjoy focusing on the discipline at hand and streamlining the transition to move on to the next activity. Whereas with yoga, I have to focus on slowing down my mental processes to match the movement of my body and I feel that there is a misalignment. I have decided to give yoga another chance and perhaps instead of the class I will create my own environment with the use of video or an app on my phone.

Feelings are transient. They come and go and they only have meaning when we attach to that feeling and give it our attention. The more you focus on what you don’t want, the more you’ll get just that and wonder why it keeps showing up in your life.

I want you to stop for a moment and think about things in your life that you are resisting. This resistance is zapping your spirit and enthusiasm. You will feel discouraged and frustrated. The resistance that you are feeling such as hanging on to old anger or resentment or holding off on a difficult conversation because you hope things will be better or someone will change is holding you back. You may be holding onto comments from family members that still bother you today. Resistance occurs because you believe something different should occur which involves a change to get a different outcome. What really needs to change is not everyone around us but recognizing are blind spots to a situation and doing a self-check on your attitude to change. You can’t change other people; you can change how you respond to a situation instead of reacting to a situation.

There are some people in your life that you may realize are not people you want to regularly hang out with. They are the people who are discouraging you from going after your dreams or putting you down and telling you that you’re not enough. You need to believe in yourself.

What are you resisting now?

What have you been putting off doing?

39761780 - woman training with exercise band assisted by physiotherapist When you make the decision to play a bigger game, you will notice an increase in resistance. These obstacles are there to test you and challenge you. You have the choice to work through them because on the other side of that obstacle is achievement of your goal or dream. Quit playing the “should have” game. “I should have” done this or “I should have done that…” Quit should having on yourself. Beating yourself up does not help you move through resistance. Most people are unaware of what they are resisting until they stop and take stock of what may be limiting them. Persistence will help you push through any resistance that you are feeling.

Resistance often occurs because of fear. You need to understand where your fear is coming from to truly understand “what you resist persists”. What fear is coming up as resistance?

Are you afraid of:

Failure?
Success?
Rejection?
Change?
Uncertainty or the unknown?
Exposing yourself or being vulnerable?
Moving to the next level?

What can you start doing to help you move through this resistance is to:

ACKNOWLEDGE and be aware that you are facing resistance.

FEEL feeling that comes up for you as you face resistance.

IDENTIFY where the fear is coming from?

Is your fear that you’re not being consulted? Is your fear due to lack of communication? Is it that you do not understand why change needs to occur? Is it because you need more information?

LET GO of what you are resisting

These fears are not necessarily bad; they are acting as signals for you to go within and reflect on what you’re thinking and your feeling. The universe has a strange way of ensuring that you events continue to occur and until a lesson is learned. Accept where you are in the present moment. It does not mean that you’re going to be in this space for ever especially if this is not where you’d like to be. Start taking action steps and persisting through obstacles focused on what you want to achieve. Hold yourself to high standards it ensure your expectations of yourself are realistic. Your goal and dream are waiting for you!

Time: 10:48 min

Keywords: facing resistance, what you resist persists, acknowledge resistance, resistance to change, reason people resist change, playing a bigger game, Carl Jung, move beyond resistance,