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Episode 51: The Power of Personal Accountability

December 8, 2016 by Debra Kasowski 1 Comment

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“The victim mindset dilutes the human potential. By not accepting personal responsibility for our circumstances, we greatly reduce our power to change them.”
― Steve Maraboli

Personal accountability is about acting in alignment and doing what we say we’re going to do. It truly is about taking 100% responsibility for one’s own actions. By taking personal accountability, you are taking steps to improve yourself as a leader – a leader that people can know and like as well as trust. You can always recognize someone who is not accountable for their actions by listening to their language. People who are not accountable for their actions play the victim role. These are the people who tend to ignore or deny their involvement in the part of a situation. They tend to blame or complain about others as to why they’re not getting the results that they want. They explained all the reasons why they shouldn’t be held accountable for their actions or the results achieved. If you really want to get the results you say you want, your greatest success weapon is about becoming and accountable leader.

28869249_s Being accountable isn’t always easy. There’s increased responsibility and expectations on ourselves to achieve more. If you are consistent and work hard, you will often end up achieving more than you believe possible. The impossible became possible when people took the necessary actions steps consistently to get to where they want to go. Being accountable can position you to feel unstoppable. You will learn to trust yourself and your abilities for getting those results. The other day I briefly watched a segment of @garyvee (Gary Vaynerchuk) and he said that most people are walking around like they’re coming back. This struck a chord with me. It may be due to my nursing background and having held a baby after its first breath and also holding the hand of someone who is dying and takes their last. Life is too short to not put in 100% effort. People tend to be scared of that accountability factor maybe because they think someone’s checking up on them. The only person checking up on you is yourself and holding yourself to a higher standard.

When you hold yourself accountable, you realize that you need to start making decisions with intention. Every decision you make has an outcome. The results you see around you are based on the decisions you have made so far. If you don’t like what you see, you need to start making different choices. Your choices might include taking a course in gaining more knowledge, reaching out and asking for help, going to a networking event and building the relationships around you, and providing feedback to your team so they can improve. If you hold yourself back from being the best that you can be, you will fall short and may even fail just because you weren’t willing to take responsibility for the actions that you took.

Being a victim of your circumstances is a choice. You can choose to respond or you can choose to react to any situation. Those who play the victim are often reactive by placing blame and getting angry without doing any or self-reflection on their role in the situation. If you catch yourself going into the victim’s state, you can always stop and reframe the situation and choose to become more responsive. In the problem shows up, don’t ignore it and pretend it’s not there think about how you can solve it versus resist it. Is there a chance that you can make a mistake? Absolutely! Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.” You can always course correct do not let the fear of making a mistake holds you back from making potentially the greatest leap forward.

When you start owning your stuff by being accountable for your actions, you will be able to be successful in pushing through the challenges you face. When you don’t, you begin to resent others and people will have a hard time trusting you. You need to begin by taking charge of who you are and how you wish to show up. One of the things that I noticed is a leader is that often people do not realize that they have the power to be part of significant change because they have a choice to engage or not engage in their environment. Individuals need to realize how much power they actually have to get the results they envision. When they start sharing that vision with others, other people in the group may also offer ideas and solutions to make them become reality. The employee tends to be more engaged because they were part of the solution.

In order to be an accountable leader, you need to be open to a new perspective and challenge your own assumptions. When I teach emotional intelligence, it’s all about becoming self-aware and taking responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and the actions we take. You need to be aware of self-limiting beliefs as well as your own flaws of perfectionism and even procrastination. These are forms of resistance in preventing you from being accountable for your actions. Perfection can delay results and procrastination may mean that you never get started.

As a coach, I have been able to recognize when someone is spiraling into a victim mentality. I always find it interesting that we can see the potential in others before we see the potential in ourselves. The individuals that I have coached are great leaders bursting out and stepping into their greatness. Some of the roadblocks that they face tend to be more internal than external. They have self-limiting beliefs and self-doubt about their ability to accomplish what they set their mind to. Asking for help is considered to be a strength and it helps you examine what needs to improve to get you to where you want to go. Your mindset is a key part of defining some of the actions that you’re going to take. If you don’t believe something is possible, you’re not going to take actions that organize support you and therefore not get the results that you want. If you don’t believe you deserve something, again you’ll find ways to self-sabotage getting the results that you want. Pay attention to what is going on in your mind because it impacting the actions you take.

You won’t be disappointed by taking accountability for your actions. You will gain respect and trust as being someone who walks their talk. You will start getting the results that you truly want instead of looking out toward for success on the outside you’ll realize that success begins with you. The richness of your life and your business or organization starts with you.

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
― Theodore Roosevelt

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time: 11:08 min

Keywords: holding yourself accountable, accountability, accountable, podcast, being an accountable leader, taking responsibility, victim mentality, coaching, choice, decision making, accountability partner

Episode 50 – Being an Effective Communicator

December 6, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Robyn’s “Lightening captured in a bottle that zaps you into a new way of thinking…”

Everyday communication is like mixing up chemicals. Sometimes it creates exciting discoveries… sometimes it just blows up!

Robyn Hatcher, communication expert and author, knows successful communication is the life blood of any thriving organization. Robyn’s cultivated a formula to transform weak communication skills into potent business gold.

Her 15 plus years as a professional actress and her experience as a certified Neural Linguistic Programming practitioner, give her a powerful combination of creative tools and scientific research.

Now, as owner and CEO of SpeakEtc., she delivers the brain science hacks that help business leaders command a room; galvanize a team and become a catalyst for change.

Robyn has elevated the communication skills for Fortune 500 companies and noteworthy brands, including Lifetime Television, Jones New York, AXA, UBS, Hewlett-Packard and others. Robyn’s first book, Standing Ovation Presentations (Motivational Press, 2013), contains a unique communication style system called ActorType s . and was named on Forbes.com as one of 2015’s Top 100 Coaching Books.

Robyn wants everyone to become more powerful, engaging and confident communicators.

Time: 43:23 min

Keywords: Communication, body language, effective communicator, Tone of voice, networking, networking etiquette, language, labels, podcast

Episode 49: Creating the Collaborative Advantage

December 1, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much”
― Helen Keller

The saying “If you can’t beat them join them.” holds true when it comes to creating the collaborative advantage. The collaborative advantage is the ability to form beneficial and rewarding relationships with other businesses and organizations. When forming a collaboration, it is important to create a relationship that has mutual benefits in which both feel like they’ve achieved a win-win toward meeting their goals. It’s not a trade-off that if I do this for you that you will do this for me that’s not true collaboration. Many partnerships are screened for their financial contribution, however in their missing the key piece in a successful collaboration-the people.

Commitment can be high in collaboration when the value is available to both parties in a joint venture or partnership that are not in direct competition but actually complement each other. There can be barriers preventing collaboration. The barriers may occur with shared values and goals as well as behaviours. Having shared values is a good thing, there are times when collaborators try to please each other and they’re afraid to call things out when something goes wrong. Behaviours that can impact the collaboration are not seeking help or asking for help when needed, having the belief that you need to solve it all yourself, and also you may face people who were unwilling to help.

Even though we’re looking for cooperation, collaboration should not be confused with teamwork. Teamwork is when you work together to meet a common goal or vision whereas collaboration is when you work together to meet your individual or organizational goals. For example, you may see a car manufacturing company collaborate with the sound system company to ensure high-quality sound systems in their vehicles. They are working together for the interests of their own organizations. In working together you are gaining new perspectives and have the ability to brainstorm creative and innovative solutions.

“As a collaborative leader, you support people in their work—you remove roadblocks and help them win.”
― Kenneth H. Blanchard

There may be times when you need to know when not collaborate with others. There is a cost to collaborating that sometimes people don’t consider resources, money, and time. Learn and forecasts your return on investment.

There are times when the collaborative advantage is more valuable than a competitive advantage. You get to expand your network and available resources. Creating the collaborative advantage requires strategic intent. It’s important to listen and understand align with the needs of each business and organization. There has to be a commitment to the partnership.

This partnership or collaboration creates accountability and you have an opportunity to learn from each other. This is paramount. It is important to have agreements in writing as to what each partner is willing to do and not do. There needs to trust that each partner is working for the best interest of working together even though they are working for their own business and organizational gain. Boundaries need to be in place. You may even consider having an exit strategy where partners have permission to withdraw from the partnership.
Business and organizational relationships are no different than personal relationships. People need to know like and trust a business or organization before they plan to do any business with it. Conflicts and misunderstandings may occur. It is important to recognize that each party may have their own opinions and it is okay to respectfully disagree. You will just need to work together in figuring out a solution.

“When people feel trusted, they’ll begin to understand they are contributors–and you’ll get great ideas and happy people.”
― Eunice Parisi-Carew

It’s important to note that when you take the time to get to know the people of the organization that you will be able to have more influence than if you would just looking at the financial advantage. As you get to know the strengths and talents of each partner, you will be able to recognize ways to leverage it to your advantage. When someone finds you relatable based on having a family or pets or a similar hobby, they may be more apt to choose you over a competitor because you show up as a person first. A collaboration that brings out the best in each partner ends up creating a competitive advantage.

Questions to Ask Yourself When Creating a Collaborative Advantage:

How will this get me closer to my goals or my organization’s goals?
What is my level of commitment to creating this collaborative advantage?
What would I like to learn from this partnership?
How will we hold each other accountable?
In what ways, can we encourage co-operation within our teams?
What are the boundaries that need to be in place?
How can this collaboration bring out the best in us?
What are the needs of my partner and how can I understand how I can help them fulfil those needs?

Who would you like to create a collaborative advantage with? Accelerate your results by collaborating with others.

Time: 09:03 min

Keywords: collaboration, collaboration advantage, cooperation, working together, collaborating with clients, sustainability, competitive advantage, accountability, creating a collaborative advantage

Episode 48 – How to Be Insanely Great as a Leader

November 29, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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[embedyt] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2NiG1Yg-58[/embedyt]

Dr. Mark Goulston

markgoulston-original Widely regarded as a “people hacker,” Dr. Goulston began his career as an interventional psychiatrist focusing on suicide and violence intervention and prevention and UCLA professor of psychiatry. He then extended his work to training FBI and police hostage negotiators and then to the corporate world and NGOs.

His “people hacking” has now extended to, “hacking genius,” and he has recently been speaking, writing and providing webinars on “Insanely Great! How to Think Like Steve Jobs.” Along with that he helps companies to see into their futures the way Jobs could. By the way, it is not that difficult, it’s just difficult to envision a different paradigm when you’re within your own paradigm. You know the saying, “When you’re a hammer, the world looks like a nail.”

Past or present companies or institutions, he has worked with or spoken to include: Harvard Business School, IBM, Mattel, Coca Cola, Toyota, Hyatt, Accenture, Ernst & Young, Sodexo, Goldman Sachs, Bank of America, Northern Trust, Northwest Mutual, YPO, UCLA, USC, University of Alabama, American Bar Association, NACD.

Including, “Just Listen,” Dr. Goulston is the author of seven books with his first book, Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior, first published in 1996 being in the top 5 self-help books at Amazon for the last seven years. His most recent book is Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life and was recently Oprah.com featured book and was nominated as an Audie Award 2016 Finalist.

He writes for Biz Journals, Harvard Business Review, Business Insider, Huffington Post, Fast Company and Psychology Today and appears widely in the media including CNN, Wall St. Journal, NY Times, Fortune and Forbes.

He serves on the Board of Advisors of Health Corps, Brainrush and Truli Media.

Dr. Goulston earned a BA from UC Berkeley, MD from Boston University School of Medicine, Post Graduate Psychiatry Residency from UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute and is a Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. He was selected as one of America’s Top Psychiatrists in 2004, 2005, 2010, 2011 by the Consumers Research Council of America.

Interview Length: 54:56 minutes

Keywords: listening, Steve Jobs, Dr. Mark Goulston, getting through to anyone, connection, intentional listening, communication, relationships, interpersonal relationships, Just Listen

Episode 47 – Becoming a Charismatic Leader

November 24, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“When you put together deep knowledge about a subject that intensely matters to you, charisma happens. You gain courage to share your passion, and when you do that, folks follow.”
― Jerry Porras

Think about a leader you know who alive or dead who has demonstrated charisma. They are the leader who is described as having an “aura” or a presence. They are that person who walks into a room that grants people’s attention.

Who is that person?

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You suddenly become curious as they light up the room with their presence. Some historical leaders that have been described as having charisma are individuals like John F. Kennedy, Gandhi, Princess Diana, Mother Teresa, Oprah, Martin Luther King Jr., and Winston Churchill. You may think you need to be a celebrity to be spotlighted as a charismatic leader. You do not have to- people will magnetically be drawn to you.

Some people describe the charismatic leader as someone who is charming and persuasive. They have what people call the likability factor. They can build rapport and trust quickly with others. A charismatic leader is value driven and there is alignment in their words and actions. Charisma is a quality or characteristic that can be developed.

Charismatic leaders:

Take action. They do not sit on the sidelines or wait for permission when they know something needs to be done. They take initiative.
Take genuine interest in others. They put judgments aside and shift to a place of curiosity by asking questions about the other person. Eye contact, warm body language, and facing the person (s) they are speaking with are also distinct features of their communication style. They have an amazing engaging personality that naturally draws people in. They actively listen – listen more to what is being said than talking. They are good conversationalists and can start a conversation with anyone and leave that person thinking that they were the most important person in the world. In those moments, they were.
Speak with intention and conviction. These leaders create a compelling vision and articulate their message eloquently. They are confident in their message and communicate thoughtfully. They are committed to their cause. Pay attention to the words they use. Are they positive and affirming? Are they empowering people or tearing them down? Can you pick up on any self-doubt? The way they say those words and the tone they use is even more powerful than the words themselves. They do not speed through conversation. They slow down and they are deliberate with punctuating certain words and pausing between statements. There is lowered to communicate the importance of their message.
Always present. Leaders who are able to be fully engaged and be in the moment are described as being “present”. They are not distracted by fleeting thoughts or what they need or ought to be doing. They focus on being present in the here and now. They have the ability to remember people’s names or details of a conversation. They have a positive attitude.
Tell stories to communicate and make a point to be learned. People are drawn into stories. They see themselves in stories and learn from another’s experiences.
Stand tall with good posture and have an authentic smile. A real smile engages the eyes.
Dress for success. When you dress well, you tend to perform well. You set a standard for yourself and others. Ensure that your clothing fits you well. If it is too big, get it tailored to you. Your shoes should be polished and in good condition. If you pay attention to the details of how your dressed, it is believed that you will also pay attention to the details of your performance.

In the seconds, you walk into a room, a first impression is made. Make it long lasting. The way you dress, communicate, and act reflects how you will perform. Although this may not be true 100% of the time, the majority of the time it is.

“Stand tall and be proud. Realize confidence is charismatic and something that is something money can’t buy, it radiates from within you.”
― Cindy Ann Peterson

Time: 8:52 min

Keywords: charisma, charismatic, charismatic leadership, how to become a charismatic leader, charismatic leadership theory, speak with conviction, conversationalist, telling stories, executive presence, likeability factor