Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: RSS
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” -Dale Carnegie
Networking and taking the time to get to know others is a powerful way in order to expand your network and get to know people. The only drawback is some people tend to want people to see them as the most interesting person in the room instead of being interested in others. In my favourite communication book, Just Listen by Dr. Mark Goulston, he talks about the “interesting” jackass, you may be able to relate based on conversations that you have had. These are the people who try so hard to be interesting and demonstrate how great they are but they fail to take interest in who you are. This can be frustrating and make you want to avoid these people altogether. Being interesting is important, however, there is a craft in order to share just how interesting you are.
If you want to leave a good impression with the people that you interact with, you want to take some time to take interest in the people you talk to. You do not need to have all eyes on you. This action often comes across as being insecure. When you start taking interest in others, they will start taking more interest in you. When taking interest in others, be fully present and actively listen to what they’re saying. Often in conversation people are thinking about what their responses instead of listening fully to what is being said. People tend to repel from people who talk about themselves all the time and how they’re better than everyone else. Instead of responding with your experience, ask probing questions to learn more about what a person who shared with you or summarize what you just heard to acknowledge that you been listening.
By asking questions, you are demonstrating that you want to learn more or gain an understanding of where a person is coming from. You may overcome shyness by asking questions and learning about others. This demonstrates a genuine interest in others. Here are several ways in which you can demonstrate a true interest in another person:
- Discover ways you can help another person. Learn about the person you’re speaking with and discover their greatest challenge need, or want. Find a way to help them achieve it. They will be forever grateful.
Be a connector. Connect like-minded people together. When you meet people you may discover that someone in your network needs to meet the person you have just met. Send a virtual introduction or arrange a time where you can introduce them in person.- Be memorable. You become memorable because of your listening skills and your interest in others. By taking a genuine interest in others, you make people feel like they’re the most valuable person in the room and as you are speaking to them that they are.
Once you take time and interest in other people, they will also want to discover more about you. This is when you can share more about yourself. Remember the conversation and dialogue are very much like a dance. It’s not a competition to share how your experience is the same or better than theirs. The most powerful approach to being interested in others is to be nonjudgmental and come from a place of curiosity in which you would like to learn more.
Here are ways that you can become more interesting to others when it comes to your turn to share your knowledge, skills, abilities, and experiences:
- Explore the world around you by going on adventures and travelling. I have learned that as we open ourselves up to the world we realize that we are a lot more the same than different. You also learn that everyone is driven by different values and traditions.
- Have the courage to do new things and to step outside your comfort zone.
- Read a new book once a month and share what you have learned with others.
- Take up a new hobby.
- Listen to music.
- Try new foods or cultural activities.
- Volunteer or support a cause.
Don’t think you are the only person out there expanding their life. When you come across as a “know it all” you can be send the wrong message. Be intentional with taking a keen interest in others. If you have a story to share that is relevant to an issue or concern they have been struggling with summarizing what you have heard and then offer to share a story or experience with others versus jumping in and telling it to them. No one likes to be told – they like being asked. Engage others in the conversation by using questions to learn more.
People will be more interested in you as you become more interested in them. It is all about how you make others feel. Make them feel like they are the most important person in the room. In that moment in which, you are in conversation with them they are.
We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com
Time: 9:43 min
Keywords:
How to be exciting, How Can I Be Interesting, How to be Entertaining, Being An Interesting Person, Be More Interesting, What is an interesting Person, How to be Intriguing, How to be Fascinating, How to Be Interesting Person, Ways to Be More Interesting, How to Become Interesting, How to Become Interesting Person, Just Listen, Dr. Mark Goulston
Instinct is what we use to protect ourselves. It is a matter of survival. By trusting your gut, you are also recognizing when something doesn’t feel right and that you need to pay attention to your body. There are times you may recognize that there is a risk of being in danger as you walk past someone on the street at night. When faced with a new situation where there is uncertainty you might have a
Whatever you are resisting means you are opposing or against it from occurring. The things that we really need or the lessons we need to learn in our lives are usually what we are resisting. An area in my life I face with resistance when it comes to physical activity is yoga. Now many of my friends tell me that resistance means that I should do more of it. I have attended three classes on three different occasions. I do not enjoy yoga. Each time seems to get better I actually stayed the full class the last time. What I have noticed is that my mind is moving with ideas percolating at any given time and I am challenged with slowing my mind down to match my body’s positioning. I see myself as a person of endurance and that is probably why I enjoy triathlons and running more than I enjoy yoga. With triathlons, I enjoy focusing on the discipline at hand and streamlining the transition to move on to the next activity. Whereas with yoga, I have to focus on slowing down my mental processes to match the movement of my body and I feel that there is a misalignment. I have decided to give yoga another chance and perhaps instead of the class I will create my own environment with the use of video or an app on my phone.
When you make the decision to play a bigger game, you will notice an increase in resistance. These obstacles are there to test you and challenge you. You have the choice to work through them because on the other side of that obstacle is achievement of your goal or dream. Quit playing the “should have” game. “I should have” done this or “I should have done that…” Quit should having on yourself. Beating yourself up does not help you move through resistance. Most people are unaware of what they are resisting until they stop and take stock of what may be limiting them. Persistence will help you push through any resistance that you are feeling.
You want to be creating awareness so that you stand out from the crowd. Many people think it is like the movie “Field of Dreams” if you build it they will come. However, if they do not hear about you or know about what you have to offer no one will be coming. If you’re a start up, you can’t always afford to outsource services and you may be doing many things yourself. Even though you’re doing things yourself eventually you will be delegating these roles/tasks to other people so it’s a great thing for you to get a handle on what you need to be doing. There are several 
Visibility and value are products of exposing yourself in your business and your business. You want to be visible in the community as someone people need to know. Your visibility and value can be demonstrated in the following ways: