Debra Kasowski, Author at Debra Kasowski

Episode 42 – Stop Analyzing Everything

November 8, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“The only people who see the whole picture are the ones who step outside the frame.”
― Salman Rushdie

Do you spend a lot of time in your own head? Are you replaying every situation over and over reliving every moment? Do you regret not taking action? If you answered yes to any of these questions you’re probably someone who analyzes every situation and you are an over thinker.

How do I know? I know because I used to be that person. About 8 or 9 years ago, I was sitting in the audience of a real estate seminar and I heard the speaker talking about online marketing and the potential of sharing information and educating people to help them make decisions and take actions that would transform their lives. As I was sitting there, all I could tell myself if I could do that. I went up to speak with the speaker after the event sharing my ideas as well as my thought process. He looked at me and said, “You don’t have to overthink things; it’s a lot simpler than you think.” He became my mentor. He challenged me to think differently than I ever had for this I am grateful because now I can see opportunities and possibilities.

Whenever I would start overthinking, I started to feel stressed out and even get anxious about the “how” of getting things done. I waffled when it came to making some key decisions. Sometimes I would even wake up at night wondering how will I ever get through this…make the money I want or even pay my assistant. You may have even caught yourself in the negative spiral thinking getting ready to believe the worst case scenario. All of this drains your energy. Thinking about a decision and making the decision are two different things. Decisive action is important if you are not going to miss out on opportunities. I know there were opportunities that passed by. My overthinking held me back from taking the action I needed.

How do you know if you are overthinking? You can’t stop thinking about anything else. It feels like the movie, Ground Hog Day, where the day gets played over and over. One of the most common thoughts is wondering what others think of you. You may have heard the saying, “What others think of you is none of your business.” It’s true. If you have not read, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel de Ruiz, I highly recommend it.

One of the agreements is not to take things personally. No matter if someone compliments – saying something great about you or criticizes you, saying something negative about you, it is their perception of their reality. I happen to want to take the compliments personally. We can definitely learn from and choose whether or not we with accept the latter. It does not need to define you. What matters is your perspective. Replaying what you could have done is sheer punishment, quit doing this to yourself.

What can you do about the “overthinking” or analyzing? You can start by taking action and doing more instead of learning more. You cannot start getting things into motion if you are hiding behind your computer or a book continuously working at learning more without taking action steps to move forward.

“We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them” – Albert Einstein

Here are some actions you can start taking:

Quiet your mind: meditation, prayer, or even sit in silence
Research new information
Make a to-do list
Journal out your thoughts in an objective way
Create an actionable plan
Set goals
Lay out a timeline with milestones
Ask questions: “If I could stop thinking about it, I would…” OR “Will what I am thinking about matter 1 year from now? 3 years from now? 5 years from now?
Listen to your advice. What would you tell a friend in a similar situation?
Distract yourself and put your attention elsewhere
Stop talking about the situation with others. Continuing to talk about it and ask advice from everyone we know we are continually thinking about the situation.

Action starts with making a deliberate proactive choice to get a different outcome. Put your energy on where you want your results to come from. I know it may feel like it is easier said than done. I challenge you to try it. Action is the cure for overthinking.

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time: 8:43 min

Keywords: What Causes Overthinking, Why Do I Overthink Everything, How to Stop Over-Analyzing, Over Thinking in Relationships, How to Stop Thinking, Overthinking Definition, Overthinking Quotes, How to Stop Overthinking Things, Stop Overthinking

where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

Time: 8:43 min

7 Reasons Why People Are Resistant to Goal Setting

November 5, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Have you ever had a new idea or want to implement something and you face resistance? Do you ever feel that you’re defending yourself or your ideas? Do you sometimes feel that you’re lowering your standards because you can’t get others to buy in? Facing resistance can be very challenging when you’re goal setting. Resistance can also work in your favour if you know how to leverage it. When you are faced with resistance, I want you to challenge your assumptions and ask more questions to identify, “Where this resistance is coming from?” Is this resistance coming from yourself and your own beliefs or is this resistance being placed on you do to another person’s belief?

“Resistance is a powerful motivator precisely because it enables us to fulfill our longing to achieve our goals while letting us boldly recognize and name the obstacles to those achievements.”
― Derrick A. Bell

Many people attribute their success to goal-setting. There are other individuals who do not see the reason or the importance of setting goals. They are what we will call the “resistors”. These are the people that no matter how much you are going to try and convince them; they are just not going to buy in. According to the online Oxford dictionary, resistance is “the refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.”

Resistors are the ones who will see the world through a different lens than you. Instead of fueling the resistance, it can be helpful to gain an understanding of their perspective. It has been my learning through appreciative inquiry that when faced with resistance or someone providing negative feedback it is important to gain an appreciation of that person’s viewpoint. There may be nuggets of information that can be considered valuable to a project or to the goals set themselves.

There may be several reasons behind they are resisting setting goals or following through on them even though many people have proved to be successful goal setting.

#1 Afraid Of Commitment By “Inking” The Goal. For some people, writing out a goal on paper means that they’re making a declaration or a commitment to what they are doing. Suddenly they go from talking a good talk to actually walking the talk in doing what they say they want to do. This can be frightening and at the same time so powerful. When a person sets the goal and writes it down, the mere writing it down in ink suddenly makes it seem more real. This is when all the doubts, self-limiting beliefs, and all the internal chatter comes up.

What to Do: Tap into the “why”. What makes this goal so exciting? What is holding the resistor back from inking the goal? What is their true fear? What will it feel like to achieve the outcome that is desired? What impact will it make? How will they be part of making a difference?

# 2 Different View of How Things Should Be Done. Similar to the sales process or a person’s view of change, you may be faced with objections or resistance. There are many ways to get to the same outcome. Sometimes when we face resistance we feel challenged and get frustrated.

What to Do: Ask insightful questions to learn more about the other person’s perspective and share your perspective. Are there any similarities? What can you learn from the other person’s viewpoint? Is it possible that there could be more efficient and effective way of getting to the same outcome?

#3 Different Vision of the Outcome. People may become disinterested in supporting a project or goal because they have a different vision of what the outcome could be. Resistance may show up because the resistor doesn’t have enough information or has not been influenced to believe that this vision is compelling.

What to Do: You may consider saying the following:

“It sounds like you have a different view of how things should be. What vision do you see? What approach do you believe we should be taking? Tell me more…”

#4 Fear Sets In. There may be many fears that creep up when setting goals. There is the fear of rejection and not being accepted. You may believe that people will laugh at your goals or the ideas you present. Remember is that your goal is your goal and it needs to be important to you. People will always have their opinions. It is important not to take them personally. People often fear change due to uncertainty. The fear of success may also challenge you. Your imagination starts to take over and you think about all the things that could happen should your project or goal be achieved. Many of the things that you think of may or may not even happen and you may even feel that there’s a loss of control. The fear of failing may come up for you and this will prevent you from taking action steps required to go to war the goal. You become fearful of making mistakes and sometimes will not even try.

What to Do: Withholding your ideas does not serve anyone. Your idea could be the game changer that helps you reach the next level or transform approach if you might be working on. Whether it be that you have a fear of success, change, uncertainty, loss of control, or failure, know that you can take 100% responsibility for the choices that you make. Seek to gain more information and ask questions. Remember indecision is a decision. When you’re setting goals, evaluate the risks and be prepared for obstacles that don’t focus on. Focus on what you have control over and the actions steps that you can do. If mistakes occur, learn from them and move forward. Dwelling on them steals your energy and joy in moving toward the destination.

# 5 The Belief That Goal-Setting Stifles Creativity. For the creatives out there, you may see goal-setting is suffocating with tight deadlines and the need to multitask. The structure of goal setting can actually be beneficial to you so that you’re not distracted by all the other ideas that are streaming through your mind at any point in time.

“Every creative person, and I think probably every other person, faces resistance when they are trying to create something good…The harder the resistance, the more important the task must be.”
― Donald Miller

What to Do: Be open and present to new opportunities while pursuing a goal. Look for ways that a can in rich and allow for creativity along your journey. Know that there will be adjustments along the way. As you adjust be aware of your distractions, stay focused on the direction that you want to go. When creative people become resistant, it important to engage them in brainstorming and coming up with solutions. This is where they shine.

#6 Self-Limiting Beliefs Can Sabotage Goal-Setting. A person’s belief in their own ability to perform or deliver on tight deadlines can hold them back from achieving the goal or delivering the final product. Often these individuals lacked confidence in their abilities and sometimes believe that others are better than themselves. This comparison can hold them back from sharing their talents and abilities even if you see that they are capable and competent.

What to Do: Identify your strengths and acknowledge that we all have some limitations. Know what you’re good at and delegate what you do not believe you’re strong at. If you’re managing a team, let these individuals know the value that they bring to the project and that you acknowledge their knowledge, skills, and abilities. People can work harder when they know that someone has taken an interest in who they are and what they have to offer. Don’t just focus on people for the task by what they bring to the table and who they are.

#7 Personal Habits Can Get In The Way. Habits are often underestimated is the reason people resist setting a goal. Some people resist setting the goal because they’re procrastinating. They avoid goal setting versus setting up a strategic approach to conquering the goal. For some, they may believe that it will take up too much time, too much money, or it’s going to take away from their lives in some way. There are times when I believed people avoid setting goals because they know that setting a goal requires hard work and they just don’t want to put that work in. Some of these people do just enough to get by. Other habits that get in the way of goal achievement and goal setting are perfection, lack of attention to detail, distractions, and being overscheduled. Don’t forget a person’s attitude can forecast their altitude!

What to Do: Examine your habits and determine if they are serving you are holding you back. Ask yourself or the resistor if they may be procrastinating or what they may be trying to avoid. Learn how much time, money, and effort is required for each milestone dedicated toward the goal. Along the way, put out the following questions:

What is working?

What is not working?

What do I need to stop doing?

What needs to be improved?

What can I be doing differently?

No matter if you are managing your own resistance or the resistance of another person, there are ways to motivate and encourage individuals to raise their standards while also holding them accountable for their actions. Self-reflection is an important part of a person’s growth. It allows for self-awareness, self-management, and self-development. People cannot improve what they’re not aware of.

My challenge for anyone facing resistance is that you challenge your assumptions and assumptions of others. Resistance means that you must be curious and gain an understanding of what is being resisted. Discover new perspectives and realize that there are more ways to achieving the desired outcome. Trust your people and trust the process along the way.

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. Debra is the host of The Millionaire Woman Show podcast helping people live rich from the inside out through leadership, business, and human potential. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

3 Reasons You Should Hire a Coach to Help You Manage Your Next Project

November 4, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Whether you are a project manager or a member of a team, coaching can help you navigate the challenges you face. There are many roles and responsibilities and expected results. It takes each member of the team to take full responsibility for their actions to move towards making the vision of the project a reality. Project managers are challenged with leading teams through projects with tight deadlines and increasing demands with decreasing resources. Strong leadership skills are needed to ensure that priorities are tended to before a whirlwind of urgent requests interferes with execution.

A coach is someone who acts as your thinking partner or sounding board who helps you uncover solutions by asking thought-provoking questions to overcome the challenges you face when working on a project. The fundamental premise underlying coaching is that you already have the answers within. A coach helps you generate solutions and identify resources. Coaches can accelerate your effectiveness and improve your collaboration efforts to get the outcomes you want. The agenda of the conversation is yours.

Strengthen Your Capacity as a Leader. In order to lead others, you need to be able to lead yourself. As you improve leading yourself, you can better lead others by creating a compelling vision in which your team would like to be a part of. A coach can help you identify your strengths and leverage the strengths and skills of your team members. The coach helps you challenge your assumptions to gain new perspectives. A leader needs to have the ability to motivate the members of the team and empower the team members by asking questions to engage the team in coming up with solutions that mitigate risks. Not only are you mitigating risk, you are encouraging ownership of results. It demonstrates that you trust your team members in providing solutions. This confidence in your people leads to increased productivity and morale.

Mitigate Risks. A coach can ask insightful questions as you progress through the milestones of a project. The most important time to ask is – before the project even starts. It is imperative to collaborate with your team members as they may hold the key to the solutions you need. As the leader, you do not need to know all the answers. You need to know what resources are available and how to mobilize them if required.

What could possibly go wrong in this project?

How can we mitigate or decrease the risk?

What are some potential scenarios that could come up?

What can we do to manage the risks and move forward?

“Whenever you want to achieve something, keep your eyes open, concentrate and make sure you know exactly what it is you want. No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.”
― Paulo Coelho

Ask the Right Questions to Clearly Define the Right Goals or Objectives. One of the greatest challenges you face managing a project is that your goals are not clearly defined so there is no target to aim at. A coach can ask you questions that will assist you and your team in define the right goals to get the results that you want. By asking the right questions, you can establish specific goals, break them down into manageable pieces, and create measurable outcomes. With clearly defined goals, you will be able to articulate and prioritize your needs, expectations, and resources.

Coaching can play a significant role in getting the results you desire in a more efficient and effective way. A coach can you help brainstorm new ideas and maintain focus and direction with the right goals in place by leveraging your strengths and making an impact.

Episode 41- How to Deliver Value

November 3, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”
― Albert Einstein

Leaders, business owners, managers, and entrepreneurs are often striving for new ways to deliver value to those they serve. When your customer or client receives the value from your product service or offering, you will notice an increase in your profits and sales. You may even develop a consistent and loyal following. Thin about the brands and products you invest in. Do you have an emotional or social connection to them or is it because of the function it offers?

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary Online:

“Simple Definition of value

: to make a judgment about the amount of money that something is worth
: to think that (someone or something) is important or useful”

How does one create and deliver value? Value is in the perception of the client or customer. It is up to you to determine and learn what your customer value. Some customers are on the lookout for price savings. Whereas others are looking to save time or decrease the amount of stress that they may be occurring in their life or business. Another group of individuals may value increased efficiency and performance through creativity and innovation. Customers and clients are always looking for why something is relevant to them. The common question is “What is in it for me?” When they discover the value that it brings, the value you deliver goes up. Delivering value is not a one-time event, you need to be consistent in your delivering of that value.

Inspire your customers or clients through your “why”. Share why you do what you do and why it’s important to you.

Share your core values. When you share your core values, you are demonstrating how you and your company operate and make decisions. Core values help determine whether or not your client or customer is the right fit for your company.

Deliver on your promises. It is much better to under promise and over deliver than to over promise and fall short on delivery. Adding that element of surprise or over delivery makes a statement and makes something memorable.

Be consistent in your delivery and your messaging. Share testimonials in your marketing. You make decisions easier for your clients when they’ve heard what others have said about their experience of working with you and the benefits they have received. Consistency also demonstrates credibility. As people get to know you, they’re developing that know like and trust factor.

Save your client or customer time, money, or decrease their stress level. People are willing to pay sometimes more money than what others offer because it gives them peace of mind, increases efficiency, and increases performance.

Allow people to experience the benefits. People tend to see themselves in the testimonials and endorsements found in your marketing materials. If you offered a solution to one person, you may be providing the same solution to the person that is focused on in the marketing. This creates a very powerful experience as it drives an emotional connection to you.

Deliver to your client’s true need. Collaborate with others to discover you customers/clients’ needs, wants, and true need. Your client may describe a need or want but it’s important to really dig deeper into why they need it or why they want. When you are able to help your client to achieve their true need, they will champion you.

Ways You Can WOW Your Customer/Clients by Delivering High-Value Content

Articles-Share tips and strategies to help your client with the challenge or to improve. You can share them on LinkedIn, selfgrowth.com, other article directories, or your website.
Newsletters-Use your newsletter to communicate upcoming events and educate them on a specific topic.
Video-Create videos that motivate, inspire or educate your clients or customers.
Facebook Live – Share behind the scenes work or introduce members of your team and what they do.
Infographics-Infographics are great for those who are visual. They provide quick snippets of information along with the visual icon or picture which people can relate to.
Books – Send your customer a book you have read that may be a solution to a challenge they may be facing.
Testimonials/Endorsements– Use testimonials/endorsements in your marketing materials or visuals online. Word of mouth is one of the most powerful methods of marketing.
Visuals– Use visuals. People like and retweet an average of 35% more when a tweet or post has a visual.
Social Media – Demonstrate and share the value and benefits that your product or service provides. Be the solution.

Ensure you are focusing on your customer or client and NOT how much money they are making you. It is so important to trust the process and detach from the outcome. If you attach to the outcome your decisions with being based on fear and it may come across as an entitlement instead of delivering value and coming from a place of service.

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

Time: 12:51 min

Keywords:testimonials, endorsements, Client Value Creation, Drives Value for Clients, Creating Value for the Customer, Providing Value to Customers, Marketing and Customer Value, Marketing Creates value by, How Do You Create Value, How Does Marketing provide Value

5 Steps to Finding Your Sweet Spot and Turning Goals into Reality

November 1, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Some people search their whole lives in search of their sweet spot. The sweet spot is the intersection between doing what you love and having the ability to make money at it. Many entrepreneurs and artists pursue this quest. Your sweet spot can also be defined as “being in the zone” while you are working on a goal. An example of this is the team that is working synergistically toward a common goal to reach their desired outcome. Everything seems to be falling into place and everyone is getting along.

Success doesn’t happen by accident! You do need to put in the work to make things happen. It doesn’t happen without a vision. There are certain steps that you need to take to hit your sweet spot.

Get Clear on What You Want. What result or outcome do you want to achieve?

Set a Goal. When you set a goal, you are setting a target to aim at. As you set your goals, ensure it stirs up some emotions of excitement and enthusiasm inside of you. Emotional connection is important in goal setting. What will it feel like when you achieve your goal? The emotional connection helps you face challenges and obstacles in pursuit of the goal.

A friend of mine set up a Facebook group and challenged us to set a swim goal. I had set my goal to be 4000 metres in 10 weeks. I would average 400 m per week. I watched others post their weekly accomplishments and asked myself – “Am I holding anything back?” My next swim I swam 1000 metres and the swim after that I did the same. I ended up reaching my goal in 4 weeks. I raised the goal to 10000 in 10 weeks as I had 6 weeks left. I met 10000 metres in 10 weeks. It felt amazing! I amazed myself!

Ink your Goal. Setting a goal requires you to set a SMART goal. When you INK your goals, you THINK about them.

Your goal must have the following criteria:

Your goal needs to be SPECIFIC. What do you want to accomplish?

Your goal needs to be MEASURABLE. How will you measure your goal? (numbers, rating scales, dollars) If you do not have a measure, how will you know you have met your goal?

Your goal needs to be ACHIEVABLE. Can you achieve this goal? What resources are available? What do you need to help you get there? Your goals should stretch you to help you grow. It cannot be too easy that you can achieve without effort. It cannot be too hard that you give up before you even try. What goal can you make that will stretch you and require some effort?

Your goal needs to be REALISTIC. Is this goal something you can achieve with all the resources and know how in the timeframe you set?

Your goal needs to be TIMELY. What timeframe do you want to achieve your goal? Your time frame should not be too early that it is not realistic and not too far into the distant future that you may forget about it or procrastinate on getting started. The best time to begin is – NOW!

Make a Plan. Break down your goal into smaller manageable pieces. What needs to be done to get reach the end goal? Use reverse engineering to plan backwards and create milestones or accomplishment markers of what needs to be done. These markers are there for you to see the progress and help you gain momentum to work toward the next marker.

Keep your Goals in Front of You. Review your goals 3-4 times per day. Keep them where you can see them in your forefront. Post sticky notes on the bathroom mirror, on your steering wheel, or on your computer monitor. Seeing and feeling the goal being achieved helps you feel that it will become a reality – it’s possible.

Possibility pushes self-doubt aside. Focus magnifies and shines a spotlight on the direction you are heading. Intentional actions stake your path to success. When you discover your sweet spot and get into the zone, you will not feel like you are working because you are enjoying what you are doing so much. The focus and drive will lead you to turn your goal into reality. It all starts with ink on your pen. Now make it happen.