Debra Kasowski

EPISODE 12: Epic Ways to Seize Your Happiness

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EPISODE 12 – EPIC WAYS TO SEIZE YOUR HAPPINESS

What does happiness have to do with leadership, business, and human potential?  When you are in a happy state, you change the actions that you take. You change the way you approach things. You change your perception of different things, when you’re in a happy state of mind.

“For every minute you are angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I really don’t want you to lose out; I want you to become the leader that you were meant to be. Lead a fulfilling life and work business and at home. We are going to talk about the ways to seize your happiness so you might want to grab a paper and pen and if you are you driving in the car listening to this podcast you can go to the show notes and download your epic ways that you can seize your happiness.

  1. Train Your Brain. Start with training your brain. Happiness is truly a state of mind. To be able to practice mindfulness and to be in a place where you are able to recognize smallest of things that contribute to the world today. When we talk about mindfulness, it’s not just about sitting in meditation and clearing your mind you so you have this blank slate. By being mindful, it is being able to recognize the small things: the breath that you take, the smell of a flower, to interpret someone’s emotions way when you’re having a conversation with them – being able to be perceptive of what’s going on around you.Some of the ways to practice mindfulness are meditation. There is prayer – by being able to feel like you’re connected with the universe or God or whatever that being is for you – something greater. Some people practice mindfulness through yoga, through just doing some deep breathing exercises, and recognizing how their body feels and being able to recognize these things around you – how you interact with your environment.
  1. Getting Enough Sleep. Many people are running on so little sleep. I use to say this phrase that “I would sleep when I’m dead.” However, when you really think about it if you wear yourself out by working 60 to 80 hours a week how long will that be sustainable? Are you truly showing up in giving your best self?What happens is when you are exhausted, your fuel tank decreases. You’re not able to fully give the full horsepower of what your engine of who you are is able to give. When you get enough sleep, you actually less triggered by the events around you so when something does not go right you are able to be more responsive than reactive. Our bodies do need to rest to allow our minds and cells in our body to actually repair from the work of the day. By allowing yourself at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep, you’re giving yourself a way of clearing any mental fog that “brain fog” so you can think clearly and make decisions well while being able to assess information and facts before you.
  1. Practice Gratitude. People take for granted that we have all the things that came into our lives. Take a look around you everything you have in your life change your life by choice. By saying by choice, the more you are grateful for something, the more that happens to show up in your life, more things for you to be grateful for.There is a book that I read too long ago called, 365 Thank Yous: The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life by John Kralik.He changed his life. This book is about this individual is kind of a grumpier kind guy stressed out and he decided that he needed to change his life. What he did every day for 365 days of the year, is that he sent out the hand written a letter of acknowledgment to different people who are impacted or his life in some way. His whole life shifted. Part of it was his attitude and how he viewed things. Now he started to recognize the things he was grateful.

    I recommend to clients that I work with that when you stop and recognize some of the things that you are grateful for, you start to notice more things. The list gets longer but I do recommend you at least acknowledge three things that you are grateful for each day. Make as simple as a smile, someone held the door open for you, or you just recognizing that someone complimented you today. We often move onto the next thing and failed to recognize, some of the small things that really have enhanced our lives. This goes back to being mindful but being able to recognize how all the small things really contribute to the bigger picture – the person who you become and who you have yet to be.

  1. Focus on People NOT Stuff. Focus on building and nurturing relationships and not on material goods and things. When you focus on the relationships, you add a whole new richness to your life. You learn about people. You learn what motivates them. Zig Ziglar had a saying that if you help enough people get what they want, you will get what you want. You will accomplish your goals as you help them.Don’t focus on the stuff.  Stuff can be purchased. Relationships are not something to be purchased. They are something to live, to enjoy and to share.
  1. Set Meaningful Goals. Many people out there don’t set goals. Only the top to 3% of people, set goals on a regular basis. When you set goals for yourself, you want to use the SMART goal method which is: S – Specific, M- Measurable, A- Achievable, R- Realistic, and T for Timely. When you use this, what you trying to do is be specific, what is it that you want to achieve, what you want to achieve and by when the timestamp because without that it becomes a wish; it becomes a dream. It something that you’re not actually working toward so we will be able to measure it; give it a timestamp as to when you might want to do this by. It’s commitment. The next one is achievable. Is this achievable within the time frame that you are trying to do this? Is this something you can actually do? Is this realistic? Is it something you can do within the time frame you provided for yourself?R is for realistic. People say why not lose weight in 24 hours. As you can see that’s not very realistic unless you’ve undergone some type of surgery. It’s about thinking about if it is realistic in the time frame. Maybe you need to adjust your time frame or test it out and then re-adjust- it happens. Timely, we want to be able to measure it. We want to go back to the time date stamp as to when you’re going to achieve it. Some people set goals that you cannot actually measure it’s not something they can measure per se.What I like to recommend is using a rating scale of 0 to 10, 0 (lowest point) is about how you’re feeling about a subject and 10 is that you are at the top of your game. Let’s say you are at a 5/10, and then you decide what actions you are going to take to go from a 5 to a 7/10 two weeks from now. Thinking about those strategies and what you need to have in place and who you need to connect with. These are how we say to breakdown and chunk down your goals. You have to really stop and think about all the things that can help you get to where you want to go. Work backward, so if you know where you’re going in the time frame, what are the steps you need to take? Break it down into smaller pieces thinking about the resources, how much time you need to a lot to it, and how much money might need to go into it. What are the resources? What is your grit power? What is the work that you need to put in to get this done? Maybe you are going to achieve it earlier and need to set a new goal to up your game or you might need to adjust some of the strategies.

    Think about the strategies. Who else do you need to get involved in helping you get to where you want to go? What happens, when set meaningful goals, is that all of a sudden you create this excitement; you create energy around you because you have something that gives you momentum something you look forward to achieving. I was sharing with people in my newsletter that I had a friend who challenged a few people to set a swim goal and I had set it for 4000 m 10 weeks down the road. I figured 400 m per week was reasonable because I like to participate in other activities. I thought I usually the average about 300-400 meters then I am out of the pool. I became so excited so focused on how my rhythm was or how my stroke was that I achieve that goal within four weeks and then my son said to me, “You know what Mom, I don’t think you’re working hard enough” my mouth just dropped.” I replied, “Okay, you’re not the one who’s swimming so I decided that I would up the game. I had six more weeks to go so I thought I can swim 6000 m more. I finished again a little bit early because of the excitement of it and I pushed myself to do something that I haven’t done in over 11 years is1500 m in one stretch to conquer the 10,000. It felt phenomenal to be able to achieve something that I haven’t done a long time but to set that goal. When you do this, you are really able to create a momentum in your life and it increases your happiness because you know that you’re reaching these the small milestones along the way.

  1. Spend time with family and friends. Surrounding yourself with people who support you. Spending time with people- family and friends sharing in celebrations, birthdays, and holidays really connecting with people and accepting people unconditionally for who they are. One thing I want you to keep in mind, as a leader is no matter of what you are working with her when you are speaking with, remember that they’re all part of their own journey. Everybody isn’t doing the same as you or in the same place as you. They might want to learn from you or be mentored by you. People may say, “Why would someone want to learn from me?” Everyone has someone that they look up to. Think of the kids in school fourth-grader looking up at the sixth-grader thinking that there like a God because they have gone through some of the milestones and journeys and just excited to be a part of it. Spend time connecting with people and getting to know about people. What makes the tick? What gets them excited? What are their hopes and dreams? When you really take time to get to know somebody’s dream that’s when you are ultimately connecting with people
  1. Forgive Others. When we talk about forgiveness, I want to keep in mind that forgiveness is the process. It is not that you’re going to forget what happened to you. By being able to forgive, you build stronger relationships, you’re able to express how you feel, and put you in a greater place and state of mind. Psychologists talk about forgiveness as being a conscious deliberate decision to release those feelings of resentment. There may be anger or frustration.TMW_PDFclickhere.fwA person I met and the totally adore is Dr. Shawne Duperon. She is a six-time Emmy award-winner. She was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for her work with Project Forgive and she uses this in leadership to help teach leaders the importance of forgiveness. The documentary coming out in January 2017 or later in 2017 I believe that is the date it is rolling out. She has researched good gossip is part of her Ph.D. She is an ultimate communicator and public speaker.Her message is on how important forgiveness is. You can learn more about this project by going her website www.projectforgive.com to learn about how you can help support this project because of what it’s doing. The documentary was triggered by a hearing about an accident that happened to killed part of a family. She knew the family that was affected but she also knew the person who caused the accident. What happened is that these people were able to forgive each other and it had sparked is like a domino effect of sharing these stories of how people work to get passed it, and move forward from some of the most painful places in their lives. To be able to forgive – to be able to move forward. They’re not going to forget what happened but they’re going to release feelings that are holding them back from moving forward with enjoying their lives and being happy. It is truly a phenomenal gift. If you get a chance go to www.projectforgive.com, check it out and learn more about this very powerful movement.

    When forgiving others, you may not forget but remember that other people make mistakes too. We get angry; it’s like we’re expecting people to be perfect, forgetting that there are mistakes that others make.

  1. Do Things for Other People. You feel greater happiness than you are able to do things for other people; sometimes the best thing to do when you’re wallowing in your stuff and you feel like things are not going the way you want them to is get out of your own space. Go out and volunteer. Go out to places and help people achieve things that they need, whether it’s a women’s shelter or to child center that needs your support, or going to the Humane Society – for those animal lovers listening to the podcast. Get out your own space and do some good in the world instead of keeping that focus on yourself. When you are focusing on yourself, you’re sitting in a space that doesn’t allow you to move out of that space. You keep looking at the problem versus a solution. When you take actions to get out of that space, you are able to clear your head and really see some of the happiness in your day.
  1. Finally, my favorite because it is free to give a smile. Not a fake smile – people. I want your smile to go up to your eyes so your eyes twinkle. You can tell a true smile by how someone’s eyes I look.

There are no shortcuts to happiness. Happiness does not come to you; I want you to remember, it comes from you. You need to take action steps to help you become happier.

“Count your age by your friends, not years.

Count your life by smiles, not tears.”

John Lennon

Pretty Powerful!  There are other resources a course on seizing your happiness. There is so much good going on. Make your life great! Make your leadership message your legacy helping people grow. Be a people builder.

theadvantageAnother resource you can tap into is the TED Talk by Shawn Achor with The Happiness Advantage.

There are books on living happy, working happy, really find what you love to do. The ultimate fulfillment is being able to challenge yourself to reach new heights, to become better than yesterday. These are the things that are and help you seize your happiness and grab on to what you truly want. Remember that being happy is contagious! The reason why I want to talk about happiness in this podcast is because when you are happy you performed better and you will also be more productive. You will achieve great results by allowing your happiness to come through you and into the work that you do. The creativity and innovation are going to spark so many more ideas and things that can be game changers for you and others.

What are you going to do to increase your happiness today?

Email me at Debra@debrakasowski.com and let us know what you would like to be featured on the show. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Give us a 5-star rating! Sign up for our Newsletter www.debrakasowski.com

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time 23:23

Why Optimism Beats Pessimism

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You are faced with a variety of life events and circumstances every day. Each event or situation can be viewed in a positive or negative way. Your perspective is your outlook on the world around you. According to psychologists, you are either an optimist viewing the world from the viewpoint of a glass “half-full” or a pessimist viewing the world as a glass “half-empty”. For the most part, you are not happy or sad 100% of the time but you will lean more to one or the other disposition predominantly. Which one are you?

“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so.”
― Noam Chomsky

The Optimist

Optimism is defined as taking on a favorable view of events or circumstances and to expect positive outcomes. Optimistic character symbols are the fish Dory from the Disney Film Finding Nemo with her positive attitude and phrase, “Just Keep Swimming” demonstrating persistence. The Donkey from the movie Shrek does not seem to let anything bother him – everything just rolls off his back. The Disney character Goofy seems to do things without doubting of things with work out; he just does. You may see these characters as overly optimistic but it helps them face any adversity that comes their way.

Optimistic people look for the good in situations and believe that most people’s actions are filled with good intentions. They have a “can-do” attitude and see negative events as a temporary setback and see these hardships as learning opportunities for growth. They persist when faced with adversity. An optimistic person practices gratitude and acknowledges what is going well. They are positive and are confident in their abilities. When optimistic people share the events of their day, they tend to focus on sharing good events over negative ones. Uncertainty does not throw optimists off track; they see unscheduled or unplanned events as an opportunity and adventure to be seized.

The Pessimist

Pessimists are in the state of mind of expecting only the worst outcomes. These people have similar characteristics to the characters of Chicken Little who created a widespread panic that the sky was falling when it was only an acorn that fell, Charlie Brown was full of dread, negativity and worry, and Eeyore who was full of doom and gloom. People with these pessimistic characteristics can wear on the patience of others and suck the energy out of a room.

Pessimistic people believe that negative events were caused by them. What power they have! They believe that one mistake leads to a Domino Effect of mistakes. If something positive was to occur to them like a promotion or winning a prize, they would attribute these successes to luck, chance, or a fluke accident and the likelihood of it ever happening again was nearly impossible.

A pessimist can cause habit in the marketplace, business, or organization. They can negatively influence their employees, colleagues, and co-workers. I have watched this happen and it can move like wildfire. They start demonstrating poor work habits, carelessness, and lack of motivation. They become distracted and disengaged with the people who they are serving. Stress increase as these individuals gossip and complain. Others start to dread coming to work. They see setbacks as permanent and they are less flexible in challenging their perspective. There is increased fear, worry, and anxiety about the future which in turn impacts productivity and performance and thus the bottom line – profits.

Ultimately, optimism beats pessimism. Optimists live longer healthier lives. They have lower stress levels because they do not allow situations and life circumstances to dictate their happiness. They tend to be more successful and have increased productivity. Optimism impacts your overall well-being – it “feels good” to be positive and uplifting.

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

Way to Beat the Doom and Gloom of Pessimism

  • Challenging assumptions by questioning your thoughts (Is your thought true?)
  • Reframe negative thoughts into positive thoughts
  • Learn from mistakes and adjust your course by doing it again until you get it
  • “Act as if”; be who you need to be now to achieve what you are trying to succeed at. Do not wait to be in the leadership role to become a leader.
  • Look for the good and what you have to be grateful for. The more you are grateful for, the more that will show up in your life to be grateful for.

Each day we have a choice. Which perspective will you choose – the optimist or the pessimist? At the end of the day, optimism beats pessimism. You cannot help wanting to be a part of the positive energy; it contagious. What attitude do you want to spread? How full or empty is your glass?

I believe it is not how full or empty your glass is what determines the quality of your life; it is about the people you meet, the places you travel to, and choices you choose to fill it with. Seize the opportunities live life to its fullest and drink up!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

EPISODE 6: Boost Your Productivity and Performance

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“If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.” – Bruce Lee

Productivity and performance can be a total game changer. We all have the same 24 hours in a day but some people seem to get more accomplished than others and others say, “I don’t get it. How do you get to do all that?” The secret lies in the sauce.

DKI_Episode 6 Time_Management_StrategiesBoost productivity and performance is about blocking time. We cannot make more time. We all have the same amount of time but how do we structure the time that we have. How are we using it more effectively?

I have an awesome downloadable – Infographic for you!

DOWNLOAD HERE

There are many Time Tracking logs or apps out there. I have used time tracking for those people who claim that they are “so busy” and we hear people use the buzz word “busy”. I do make the attempt to track my time anytime I catch myself saying that I am busy. Busy is that buzz word but it is almost like an excuse for people not doing things. It is actually saying, “I do not want to do that” or “That’s not important to me.”

TMW_PDFclickhere.fwWhen you start tracking your time, you can start seeing where you are spending your time. You can do the same exercise by tracking the amount of water you drink, the workouts you want to have, or anywhere you want to make a change. If you start tracking it, anything that you track you are able to manage better. Start tracking your time for 3-7 days to see where you are actually spending your time and then you can adjust accordingly.

One of the great things I like to recommend to people is scheduling 30 minutes in the morning to start to plan your day and another 30 minutes at the end of the day to review and plan for the next day. You will be forward thinking, you are making the plan, and have an intended direction of where you want your day to go.

Make a list of all your priorities. What are the A-game changers where you are going to have the greatest return on your investment? This is where you need to be focusing your time. Focus on your priorities first.

Set office hours to eliminate distractions and interruptions. It is so easy for people to pop by and say you are working at home today or you don’t have office hours I can just pop in and have a casual chat. If you are in the middle of working on something important that you have a deadline, these interruptions can really suck some of the time that you have. Consider that when you are working on a big project there may be a time of the day where you just need to close your door.

Turn off notifications and email alerts on your smartphone and computer. BING! Every time you see one of those, it is a bright shiny object! BING! BING! BING! Or SQUIRREL – anything that takes you attention to a different place!

Block out time on your calendar to focus on high priority tasks. Block off dedicated time. Use a timer. You would be surprised how much you can accomplish in 20 minutes when you are trying to beat a clock.

Develop a system for managing information such as paper and emails so you only deal with it once if possible. Consider creating folder or filters to help sort emails. Do not hang on to emails that do not require a reply or that you can get the information somewhere else.

Delegate to others who have the knowledge, skills, and ability to get a task done so you can focus on high priority tasks requiring your expertise. I know sometimes we like to be in control and be the boss. If you want to be a smart boss you need to delegate some of that out. If people have the knowledge, skills, and ability, let them do the work that they love to do. You can focus on the work that is a high priority and you can focus on your expertise. Everybody is using their skills more effectively on a team.

Don’t schedule meetings unless they are necessary and they have a targeted agenda. Sometimes I think people throw up meetings just to have a meeting but then they get there, there is no focus or direction and they feel that people are just wasting their time. When they could be focusing on what is really important to them, what has pressing deadlines, and where they are going to get the greatest return on their investment? Ask yourself whether or not you can do a meeting over the phone versus driving to somewhere or taking up a lot of time. Sometimes it can be addressed in an email. Consider how you can respond so you can get to the meat of the matter very quickly.

FOCUS on ONE activity or task until completed…then REWARD yourself and CELEBRATE! It might be a stretch break or getting a coffee or a cup of tea giving you a small reward so you are focused on one activity. “If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.” When you start doing too many things or multi-tasking, it divides your attention.  Put your intention and attention to the place you want to get your results.

Try these 10 things and you will be boosting your productivity and performance and watch what happens to your results.

Be an implementer!

Email me at Debra@debrakasowski.com and let us know what you would like to be featured on the show. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time 9:11 min

EPISODE 3: Set Goals That Stretch You

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Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

One of the big things about setting goals is that people don’t dream big enough. They sit back and wonder what is possible for them. Tony Robbins said, “Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into visible.”

One of the things you need to do is really decide what it is that you really want. What I have found when I work with individuals that they have never stopped long enough to take time for themselves, “You know what, what is it I truly want?”  They get so involved in the hustle and bustle of life that they get carried away with the next big thing or they are doing what that their mom or dad told them to do. It seemed like the natural thing to do but instead they need to step into who they are. They had their life experiences to bring this point to be able to make the decision of what they want.  If they are unsure of what they want, set aside some and maybe even have a friend beside you ask you “What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? Repeatedly 10-15 minutes until you fill the pages or a journal or a page at least until you figure out what you really want.

I did this exercise with someone at a coffee shop and I kept saying, “What do you want? What do you want? What do you want?”

She said, “Alright already!” She wanted to get married in Jamaica.

Then I asked her, “How much does it cost to go to Jamaica?”

She said, “I have no idea.”

I looked at her and said, “How do you know that the dream is not possible already?”

She had a partner. She wanted to have this big dream but she didn’t do some of the leg work involved.

A few years later I have received an invite that she was getting married in Jamaica!

TMW_PDFclickhere.fwUnfortunately, I was unable to go but it was exhilarating to me that she fulfilled a dream that was important to her.

Get clear on what you want to achieve. What would you like to BE, DO, or HAVE?

Once you gave an idea of what it is you want, you can share it with people who you can trust who are going to be there to support you. Otherwise, keep it to yourself if you need to but if it something like weight loss or other things it sometimes helpful to have a person to keep you accountable and do the work with you like going to the gym or doing a road race. Having an accountability buddy is helpful. If you have people who are going to talk you out of it or question whether or not you can do something, don’t let them stop you. The only person who needs to believe in your vision for yourself is YOU. When you believe in yourself you make the possibilities happen. We can’t sit around waiting for someone else.

Decide on 1-3 goals short term goals (30-90 days) and 1-3 long-term goals (6- 12 months). Avoid setting too many goals so you do not feel overwhelmed. If you have way too many, you will not even know which one to start on! The goal is not important to me anymore. Start with 1-2 goals for right now! Start slow! Create your own action log!

Write out a SMART goal. If you INK it, you will THINK it.

S=Specific – What do you want to achieve?

M = Measurable – How will you measure it so you know you have achieved it? E.g. Rating Scale

Sometimes people get stuck on this one. If you care thinking about an action – something you can measure that is easy but if it is based on how you perceive or feel about something a rating scale would be better.

On a scale on 0 -10 you feel a 3/10 and you want to feel 6/10 in 2 weeks (as an example). What strategies will you put in place to do this?

A= Achievable – Can you achieve this goal with the resources you have? Do you need to ask for help? Do you need to delegate something?

R=Realistic – Is this goal something that you can actually accomplish?

T=Timely – In what time frame do you wish to achieve this goal?

“A goal without a deadline is just a wish.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Make sure that you put a deadline to it, hold yourself accountable, and reward yourself along the way. Don’t be afraid to dream big!

Tom Landry said, “Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about it, achieving it, and staying with that plan.”  You know that there will be test along the way and distractions but it all comes down to how committed you are to making your goal come true.

Break your goal into small manageable pieces or mini goals. What are the strategies or action steps do you need to take daily, weekly, or monthly? Is there anything you need to delegate? What resources of time, money, or people do you need?

Break it down into a chart. It works really well if you are a visual person.

Review and track your goals daily, weekly, and monthly. Adjust as you go. Keep taking intentional action to create momentum. If you create momentum, you with be motivated no matter what obstacle may arise! Remember to celebrate your successes because they will remind you how far you have come!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time: 9:04 min

EPISODE 1: Take 100% Responsibility 

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Stop Complaining, Making Excuses, and Blaming Others – It is Time to OWN it!!

We will be looking at the situations in life where you want to point fingers at people or you want to say it was not my fault. If you look around you at the choices you have made or some of the outcomes you have had, you need to look around and ask yourself, “What part did I have in this”

I had no control; it happened to me. Take a different approach by asking, “How did it happen FOR you?” What can you learn from this situation so the same situation does not happen again? People do not take enough time to investigate their outcomes.

Begin by asking yourself questions about a situation: What part did I play in this? What could I have done to change the outcome? What could I do differently in the future?

Imagine someone is coming to pick you up for an appointment or you are going somewhere for a specific time. You are watching the clock tick because you know if you do not leave by a certain time you will not make it on time. The person may show up 10 minutes late and you get to the location late. You get frustrated at the person driving you.

Take a step back.

Ask yourself…

What could I have done to achieve a different outcome?

Was I prepared to be out on time?

Could I have called in advance to ensure the person left on time?

Could I check to see if there was any road construction or accidents on their route to be aware of?

Come to the situation as a learner. What parts do I have control of or influence?

Avoid comparing yourself to others. Focus on improving yourself and showing up as your “BEST” self every day.

TMW_PDFclickhere.fwOften when people compare themselves, they are looking at one moment in time. As an example, someone has a victory – they seem to have all the luck. They have all the money and everything in place to succeed and it does not work out like that for you.

If you rolled out that person’s life and your life, would you be willing to erase all of the memories that you and trade for the other person’s life? If you at it from that perspective, I am sure chances are that you would not want to erase those precious memories.

It is not about competition as it is about playing your own game and showing up as your BEST self every day.

Focus on discovering solutions and look for the opportunities. What can you do about it? How can I make a different? It is not about sitting in the wings and being a wallflower. If you see something that needs to be changed, it’s about letting your voice be known.

Choose to be responsive versus reactive. You will make better decisions when you think before acting. Do you attack like a jaguar or a leopard ready to attack or do you take a step back and collect your thoughts? It is about choosing to be responsive versus being reactive. It takes a lot of emotional intelligence. Otherwise, you are like a bull in a china shop barging in and break everything around you and then you wonder why no one wants to follow you.

When you chose to be responsive your brain is a lot calmer. Your amygdala goes into an irrational mode – fight or flight response. When you are highly emotive and reactive, you are not thinking rationally and you will not make decisions as well. What you want to do is, is to come to a place where you are calm enough to respond, that you thought through what you want to say so you can make better decisions before you act. Not everyone likes to be held accountable but they like to know they are reaching outcomes.

Surround yourself with people who are accountable to for their actions. You become like the people who you surround yourself with. Take a look around you, “Are the people you are hanging out with accountable for their actions?”

You cannot hold others accountable for you cannot hold yourself accountable first.

Be willing to take action on what you want to achieve. Speak up if you need to, make a request, or try something new. Remember if you do what you have always done – you’ll get the same results.

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DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

 

Time 9.46 min.