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EPISODE 308 – How to Turn Your Obstacles into Opportunities

May 16, 2021 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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#obstacles #opportunties #risetothechallenge

Debra Kasowski is the charismatic podcast host of The Millionaire Woman Show, 3X Best Selling Author, Speaker, and Certified Executive Coach. She interviews incredible speakers, authors, CEO, Business and Organizational Leaders and drops solo episodes with tips, strategies, and techniques for your success.

In this video, Debra Kasowski talks how you can turn obstacles into opportunities on The Millionaire Woman Show.

Go to www.debrakasowski.com for your FREE 3-Part Video Mini Course Making Habits Stick download when you sign up for our Success Secrets Newsletter. Book your Complimentary Discovery Session with Debra today!

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Filed Under: Podcasts Tagged With: challenges, Debra Kasowski, mindset, Obstacles into Opportunities, overcoming challenges, overcoming obstacles, Podcast

7 Reasons Why People Are Resistant to Goal Setting

November 5, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Have you ever had a new idea or want to implement something and you face resistance? Do you ever feel that you’re defending yourself or your ideas? Do you sometimes feel that you’re lowering your standards because you can’t get others to buy in? Facing resistance can be very challenging when you’re goal setting. Resistance can also work in your favour if you know how to leverage it. When you are faced with resistance, I want you to challenge your assumptions and ask more questions to identify, “Where this resistance is coming from?” Is this resistance coming from yourself and your own beliefs or is this resistance being placed on you do to another person’s belief?

“Resistance is a powerful motivator precisely because it enables us to fulfill our longing to achieve our goals while letting us boldly recognize and name the obstacles to those achievements.”
― Derrick A. Bell

Many people attribute their success to goal-setting. There are other individuals who do not see the reason or the importance of setting goals. They are what we will call the “resistors”. These are the people that no matter how much you are going to try and convince them; they are just not going to buy in. According to the online Oxford dictionary, resistance is “the refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.”

Resistors are the ones who will see the world through a different lens than you. Instead of fueling the resistance, it can be helpful to gain an understanding of their perspective. It has been my learning through appreciative inquiry that when faced with resistance or someone providing negative feedback it is important to gain an appreciation of that person’s viewpoint. There may be nuggets of information that can be considered valuable to a project or to the goals set themselves.

There may be several reasons behind they are resisting setting goals or following through on them even though many people have proved to be successful goal setting.

#1 Afraid Of Commitment By “Inking” The Goal. For some people, writing out a goal on paper means that they’re making a declaration or a commitment to what they are doing. Suddenly they go from talking a good talk to actually walking the talk in doing what they say they want to do. This can be frightening and at the same time so powerful. When a person sets the goal and writes it down, the mere writing it down in ink suddenly makes it seem more real. This is when all the doubts, self-limiting beliefs, and all the internal chatter comes up.

What to Do: Tap into the “why”. What makes this goal so exciting? What is holding the resistor back from inking the goal? What is their true fear? What will it feel like to achieve the outcome that is desired? What impact will it make? How will they be part of making a difference?

# 2 Different View of How Things Should Be Done. Similar to the sales process or a person’s view of change, you may be faced with objections or resistance. There are many ways to get to the same outcome. Sometimes when we face resistance we feel challenged and get frustrated.

What to Do: Ask insightful questions to learn more about the other person’s perspective and share your perspective. Are there any similarities? What can you learn from the other person’s viewpoint? Is it possible that there could be more efficient and effective way of getting to the same outcome?

#3 Different Vision of the Outcome. People may become disinterested in supporting a project or goal because they have a different vision of what the outcome could be. Resistance may show up because the resistor doesn’t have enough information or has not been influenced to believe that this vision is compelling.

What to Do: You may consider saying the following:

“It sounds like you have a different view of how things should be. What vision do you see? What approach do you believe we should be taking? Tell me more…”

#4 Fear Sets In. There may be many fears that creep up when setting goals. There is the fear of rejection and not being accepted. You may believe that people will laugh at your goals or the ideas you present. Remember is that your goal is your goal and it needs to be important to you. People will always have their opinions. It is important not to take them personally. People often fear change due to uncertainty. The fear of success may also challenge you. Your imagination starts to take over and you think about all the things that could happen should your project or goal be achieved. Many of the things that you think of may or may not even happen and you may even feel that there’s a loss of control. The fear of failing may come up for you and this will prevent you from taking action steps required to go to war the goal. You become fearful of making mistakes and sometimes will not even try.

What to Do: Withholding your ideas does not serve anyone. Your idea could be the game changer that helps you reach the next level or transform approach if you might be working on. Whether it be that you have a fear of success, change, uncertainty, loss of control, or failure, know that you can take 100% responsibility for the choices that you make. Seek to gain more information and ask questions. Remember indecision is a decision. When you’re setting goals, evaluate the risks and be prepared for obstacles that don’t focus on. Focus on what you have control over and the actions steps that you can do. If mistakes occur, learn from them and move forward. Dwelling on them steals your energy and joy in moving toward the destination.

# 5 The Belief That Goal-Setting Stifles Creativity. For the creatives out there, you may see goal-setting is suffocating with tight deadlines and the need to multitask. The structure of goal setting can actually be beneficial to you so that you’re not distracted by all the other ideas that are streaming through your mind at any point in time.

“Every creative person, and I think probably every other person, faces resistance when they are trying to create something good…The harder the resistance, the more important the task must be.”
― Donald Miller

What to Do: Be open and present to new opportunities while pursuing a goal. Look for ways that a can in rich and allow for creativity along your journey. Know that there will be adjustments along the way. As you adjust be aware of your distractions, stay focused on the direction that you want to go. When creative people become resistant, it important to engage them in brainstorming and coming up with solutions. This is where they shine.

#6 Self-Limiting Beliefs Can Sabotage Goal-Setting. A person’s belief in their own ability to perform or deliver on tight deadlines can hold them back from achieving the goal or delivering the final product. Often these individuals lacked confidence in their abilities and sometimes believe that others are better than themselves. This comparison can hold them back from sharing their talents and abilities even if you see that they are capable and competent.

What to Do: Identify your strengths and acknowledge that we all have some limitations. Know what you’re good at and delegate what you do not believe you’re strong at. If you’re managing a team, let these individuals know the value that they bring to the project and that you acknowledge their knowledge, skills, and abilities. People can work harder when they know that someone has taken an interest in who they are and what they have to offer. Don’t just focus on people for the task by what they bring to the table and who they are.

#7 Personal Habits Can Get In The Way. Habits are often underestimated is the reason people resist setting a goal. Some people resist setting the goal because they’re procrastinating. They avoid goal setting versus setting up a strategic approach to conquering the goal. For some, they may believe that it will take up too much time, too much money, or it’s going to take away from their lives in some way. There are times when I believed people avoid setting goals because they know that setting a goal requires hard work and they just don’t want to put that work in. Some of these people do just enough to get by. Other habits that get in the way of goal achievement and goal setting are perfection, lack of attention to detail, distractions, and being overscheduled. Don’t forget a person’s attitude can forecast their altitude!

What to Do: Examine your habits and determine if they are serving you are holding you back. Ask yourself or the resistor if they may be procrastinating or what they may be trying to avoid. Learn how much time, money, and effort is required for each milestone dedicated toward the goal. Along the way, put out the following questions:

What is working?

What is not working?

What do I need to stop doing?

What needs to be improved?

What can I be doing differently?

No matter if you are managing your own resistance or the resistance of another person, there are ways to motivate and encourage individuals to raise their standards while also holding them accountable for their actions. Self-reflection is an important part of a person’s growth. It allows for self-awareness, self-management, and self-development. People cannot improve what they’re not aware of.

My challenge for anyone facing resistance is that you challenge your assumptions and assumptions of others. Resistance means that you must be curious and gain an understanding of what is being resisted. Discover new perspectives and realize that there are more ways to achieving the desired outcome. Trust your people and trust the process along the way.

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. Debra is the host of The Millionaire Woman Show podcast helping people live rich from the inside out through leadership, business, and human potential. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: conquering fear, creativity, embracing fear, facing challenges, facing resistance, fear of change, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of uncertainty, goal setting, habit breaking, habit forming, habits, overcoming challenges, overcoming resistance, overcoming self-limiting beliefs, project management, reason why people resist, resistance, SMART goal setting

EPISODE 17: Harness the Power of Momentum

August 11, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Episode 17 – Harness the Power of Momentum

There are no limits to what you can achieve if you stay focused on what you are trying to achieve. You need to believe the impossible is possible for you. Your results may be better than you expect. Success has no guarantees; each action you take starts creating a momentum. If you stop taking action, you stop the momentum.

“Always work hard.  Intensity clarifies.  It creates not only momentum, but also the pressure you need to feel either friction, or fulfillment.” 

— Marcus Buckingham

TMW_PDFclickhere.fwDuring my coaching program, we learned about Creative Tension – It moves us to take action. It helps us get out of our comfort zone and stretch us. Challenge us.

Why do we need it? What does it do?

Momentum helps us:

  • Push through and overcome obstacles. You may have heard about runners or even swimmer pushing through a certain distance to push forward what they may not have thought possible exclaiming, “What else can I do? What else can I do?” What else is possible for you?
  • Increase your motivation and confidence in your abilities. It helps you to try new things!

You are responsible for creating it through consistent actions. A rapid succession of successes and lessons drives momentum. Energy increases; it will be natural for others to want to follow you. You will become magnetic. You will start to inspire others around you.

Momentum is ignited when you have a clear vision – you know what you want to achieve, you are able to articulate and share your vision, and you can enroll others in your vision.

GPS_COVER10Do you want to get more clarity? Read my book GPS Your Best Life 

Believe in your ability to make things happen. Your confidence, energy, and enthusiasm with excite others around you.

You are probably thinking to yourself – but how do I create a momentum – especially when times are tough or you are feeling challenged more than you think you can handle.

I want to share with you some of the ways that have worked for me and some of the clients I have worked with.

  • Challenge yourself – Be committed to continuous learning, stay curious and have a learner mindset. Try new things regularly.
  • Make a rule to quit complaining, blaming, and stop making excuses. You either get results or excuses.
  • Reduce your distractions. Declutter your space or your email. Clear whatever is in your way.
  • Be grateful for what you have; the more you will have to be grateful for.
  • Celebrate your successes – little things lead to big things! It will drive you to take more action. Breath in and acknowledge the successes before moving on to the next thing.
  • eastthatfrogDeliver value and look for ways to exceed expectations. You will generate excitement in others and they will be grateful and share their experience with you – with others.
  • Do you least favorite activity first – EAT THAT FROG – Brain Tracy

Everything will move so much quicker with the momentum.

  • Set Milestones – You create anticipation. You may even meet goals quicker.
  • Measure your outcomes – what gets measured gets managed.
  • Fake it until you make it – take the actions you need to get to where you want to go. Who is a leader you admire? How can emulate some of the actions that they have taken to achieve success – do your homework. If you want to be a great leader, start being one now.
  • Make a plan – Work the plan. Otherwise, you will be chasing butterflies. Do you due diligence and your resources.
  • Don’t forget to dream – Sometimes when people are too realistic to the bone, it drags people down. Dreams can propel you further rather than looking at your current circumstances.
  • Follow up with people you have met at events or make inquiries – you will be surprised when you connect with others. They energy rises and people take an interest in what you are doing.

54018600 - young multiracial people training in the gymWhat happens when you stop running on a treadmill or riding a bike?

You stop moving – you fall off.

Worry and doubt can paralyze you from taking forward action. They drain your energy. Challenge yourself – test your theories. Ask questions. Gain knowledge – but don’t stop unless you know you are in danger.

No one is going to jail or getting hurt or killed in the process chances are whatever happens you can course correct.

We all start somewhere. There have been many successful people who did not start with any resources – no network of people, no money, no knowledge, did not know English or a language of the place they settled in. They built it and so can you.

“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.” — Og Mandino

Success is not about how many resources you have; it is about being resourceful and leveraging your resources in the most effective way. Focus on taking action and over time a compound effect with occur. If you are focused only on short-term activities to get immediate results, you will lose momentum quickly especially if you do not set a new target that stretched you.

Your efforts make a difference in how you feel about your progress and what you are going to achieve.

Let your efforts multiply!

Success comes from taking the initiative and following up…persisting…eloquently expressing the depth of your love.  What simple action could you take today to produce a new momentum toward success in your life? 

— Tony Robbins

You need to continually set new challenges to learn and grow. Acknowledge how far you have come. Reflect on what you can do better and work to improve.

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

 

Time: 16:31 min

Filed Under: Podcasts Tagged With: achievement, ai, align with your values, appreciate, appreciation, appreciative inquiry, appreciative living, behaviours, blogging, building relationships, building trust, business, challenge your assumptions, challenges, connection, conversation, Core values, creative, credibility, dedication, dolce vita, effort, emotional intelligence, entrepreneurs, feelings, goal setting, gratitude, harness the power, hone your skills, imagine the possibilities, initiative, innovative, integrity, itunes, law of attraction; communication, leader, leadership, leadership development, leadership development; decision making, leaderships, learning, living the sweet life, look for opportunities, momentum, motivation, motivations, networking, organizational culture, overcoming challenges, perfect day, permission to dream, perseverance, personal development, personal responsibility, Podcast, positive, positive outlook, positive thinking, possibilities, power of momentum, practice, preparation, professional development, reframe your thinking, relationships, resilience, responsibility, risk taking, set goals, stretch out of your comfort zone, success, support system, talent, Talent is not enough, team, teamwork, thoughts, trust, value based leadership, values

EPISODE 16: Challenges Make You Stronger

August 9, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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EPISODE 16 – Challenges Make You Stronger

37602986 - female rock climber climbs on a rocky wallChallenges are a part of everyday life. A challenge is something that pushes you out of your comfort zone. It can be something you challenge yourself with such as a goal or it could be something presented to you such as learning something new, getting a handle on finances, acquiring your next client, or seeking a promotion. Some challenges are easier than others. Some challenges knock us down for the count. Think about how many times you get up to face a challenge – that will determine whether or not you will push through it.

If you let the first time you knock you down; you will be paralyzed. I remember the first time someone unsubscribed to my newsletter. I was just devastated because of the one subscription. In that moment, I had forgotten about the hundreds of people who were subscribed. Maybe it was not the right fit for them. What I realize now is that people come into your life for a certain amount of time, a reason or a purpose and some people fade away. Understand that when we face those challenges not to take it so personally and feel defeated. It is about being able to rise up and embrace the challenges and move forward.

It was once said by someone that, “Challenges make you more responsible. Always remember that life without struggle is a life without success. Don’t give up and learn not to quit.”

Challenges make a person more resilient. You recognize your emotions that arise in different situations and how to manage them to become a better communicator or influencer. You become more self-aware of what you want and what you do not want. You develop clarity. You learn from mistakes. Don’t punish yourself. You are growing and stepping into the potential of who you are meant to be.

You can either let a challenge pull you down or you can use it to rise up.

45535742 - woman holding shopping bags at a boutiqueThere was a personal challenge I faced when swimsuit shopping with my daughter. I had sent my daughter to go and purchase herself a swimsuit for a surprise trip. I was unable to go with her. She came home a tossed the bag to me and I did not think anything of it. She did not even show me what it looked like until we were leaving and then I realized that there was a $200 + price tag to this swimsuit. I was like, “What?” I am sorry I do not understand what 16 year old needs a two hundred dollar swimsuit. Anyhow, we ended up going on our trip and did not end up going swimming anyway but I knew a swimsuit you cannot return.

We had come home and we were leaving in a couple more weeks to go on vacation.  We ended up going back to the same store where she had purchased the swimsuit. As she was trying on bathing suits, I could feel myself boiling inside even though the staff was wonderful to her. I was thinking to myself, “Why would anyone want in in a suit that makes her so much older that she did not feel energized and excited in?” She did not even feel comfortable in it. We ended up going swimming shortly after our surprise trip and she discovered that the suit did not fit properly.

As I was standing there, I could feel myself boiling inside. It is about being able to recognize those emotions. It was a challenge for me to think about how I was going to manage these emotions. It was my problem. The people in the store do not know what is bothering me. As it was getting close to closing time, the staff was being very patient and had no problem waiting for to finish trying on another suit. We did not end up buying a suit. [We had gone to another store and paid $20 for a swimsuit and going on our vacation. She was youthful, energized, and loved the suit that she had.]

ID-10089448Meanwhile, I was quite frustrated as I was waiting for my daughter to finish up so I started to talk to the clerk. I proceeded to tell her about how I was feeling and how I was boiling inside. If I felt this energy, I could not imagine how and if they felt it. I began to share the story of what happened when my daughter had come for a swimsuit. The young lady at the till was phenomenal. She said “You should not have had that type of experience that is not how we work here.” She took my information. I informed her that we were leaving the next day on vacation. I told that I would not be able to deal with this right now. She said that it was okay and that she would speak to her manager to see what she could do for me.

She had phoned the very next day explaining that they were going to be doing something for me. I decided while I was on vacation that I would not deal with it until I got home. When I came home I called them, they had offered me a 20% discount. I thought you know it is a swimsuit; they are not going to return it. We already spent $200 in their store for something we were not happy with. She asked me if I was going to pick up the 20% off coupon and I stated, “I am not sure I am going to but thank you very much for your time. We will just take this as a loss.”

TMW_PDFclickhere.fwNot even 5 minutes later, she had called back. A district manager had heard her talking to me; she had explained that she could not return the bottoms. I stated that I understood based on my healthcare background. If I brought back the top, they would give me a full refund for the cost of the top to purchase anything else in the store. I said that was reasonable and that was something I could handle.

Again I was unable to go with my daughter so I spoke with the young lady that was working with her that I would be unable to be there. My daughter went in and they spent a lot of individualized – personalized attention with her. She came home with a new top to match her bottoms and a racer swimsuit for swimming lengths. She pulled it out and went to try it on to show me right away. She ended up getting two suits in the end.

What impressed me most was the young lady that was working with us. She put in a lot of effort; she was phenomenal. When I speak in front of groups, I talk about this young lady all the time. I went into the store a few days later and I had asked one of the other girls, “Can you tell me who the top person is, that I can talk to in your company? They gave me the President – they gave me all these people. I sent the lengthy e-mail. They are just in the swimsuit industry. They are in the industry of self-esteem, confidence, and help people feeling comfortable in the skin and that they are in.

I find it so powerful to be able to know that you’re doing more than just providing a product – more than a business transaction so I e-mailed a lengthy e-mail. I wanted this individual to be recognized. We were going to recognize her in our own way but we wanted somebody you higher up to realize the potential of this young lady and the difference she was making them from of life. I received an e-mail back from the owner of the company and she had forwarded our e-mail to the whole distribution list of all of their employees to realize that this is what they’re in business for and that they would recognize this young lady and in some way.

My daughter had gone a few days later and handed a little gift to this employee. She was nearly in tears for being recognized for going above and beyond her call of duty. How often do we do that – where we want to go the extra mile for our clients or customers making them feel that they matter?

These challenges that we face make us so much better. They make us so much stronger and we would never realize the impact it can have on other people because what I realized is that if I never speak up when I recognize an emotion that I have, either to clarify something with someone or to express how I’m feeling about a situation, this all would never have happened. When we talk about emotional intelligence, people say, “Oh, that’s the soft stuff!” Even though it is soft, it’s about people and making sure that people matter and how were communicating is a big deal. Think about how you communicate and how some of those challenges have come through communication.

Big Breath! I know that was heavy!

SPONSOR – LET’S BE CURIOUS! www.letsbecurious.ca

It really does amaze me how including me, can take things for granted until we are faced with a challenge. I remember completing a triathlon after not putting in a lot of training several years after I had done the course. Holy Man! I was in awe of what I had accomplished that I never credited myself for. The hard work and dedication it took to take on the challenge and to really acknowledge the sacrifices that went with it. Swim, bike, run. I was never a star athlete. I challenged myself to do what I saw other do. If they could do it, so could I.

One of the biggest challenges I see people face is often self-induced through the comparison trap. Comparing our self to others leads to a no win situation. Your intentions end up reflecting a competition and beating someone versus becoming better and being a natural choice. Start turning inward and set challenges for yourself – each day to become a better version of your Self today than you were yesterday. Become a better listener. Become a better employee. Become a better spouse. Become a better parent. Become a better boss. Hone your skills. Fine tune your strengths. The competition is with your Self. Beat your old self – running your own race.

Stop complaining about your circumstances. There are people who are in more delicate situations that you are right now. Some people are wishing they could walk or even run a race. Some people are fighting for their breath. Some people would love to have the job or business you do; due to health issues may not be able to do so.

Quit making excuses about all the reasons success has not happened for you yet. True success – sustainable success takes time and consistency. Are you using your time productively or are you getting sucked into the vortex of social media? Following blue links or just checking to see if someone just someone liked your post.

Stop blaming others for your position in life. You may hear people blaming their parents, spouse, kids, or boss for their position in life or their lack of resources for not being further ahead. You are in charge of you and the decisions that you make.

Who you are… is directly related to the life you have led and the choices you have made. As a child, your parents may have taught you a certain way of doing things. As you became your own person, you started to make your own decisions and choices. You could believe old patterns and beliefs or you could choose your own story of how things played out and how things have yet to be. Others have made choices and passed on their beliefs based on what they believe to be true. Do not be afraid to question, challenge assumptions, or offer a new perspective. You may have heard the story about a young adult preparing a roast after they were newly married. They cut off each end of the roast and placed in the roasting pan. When questioned and the person asked, “Why did you cut the ends off?” They replied that is how we have always done it – my mother did it that way and her mother did it that way.

What are you doing just because others do it that way?

Start viewing your challenges as blessings or opportunities. Write in a journal and start coming up with solutions to your challenges. Choose the story you want to hear and live. Remember your perception and what you believe is your reality. Is it the right belief? Is that what you want to believe?

Stay focused on the positive aspects of what you are trying to achieve. Be a “positive Choose to approach each day – “Today is going to be a great day!” – Speak it into existence. Connect with others and build relationships now – before you need them. If you do not have a support system, start creating one – people you know, like, and trust and who challenge you to become a better version of yourself.

“Handicaps often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.”

C.S. Lewis

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time: 19:34 min

Filed Under: Podcasts Tagged With: achievement, ai, align with your values, appreciate, appreciation, appreciative inquiry, appreciative living, behaviours, blogging, building relationships, building trust, business, challenge your assumptions, challenges, connection, conversation, Core values, creative, credibility, dedication, dolce vita, effort, emotional intelligence, entrepreneurs, feelings, gratitude, hone your skills, imagine the possibilities, innovative, integrity, itunes, law of attraction; communication, leader, leadership, leadership development, leadership development; decision making, leaderships, living the sweet life, look for opportunities, motivations, networking, organizational culture, overcoming challenges, perfect day, permission to dream, perseverance, personal development, personal responsibility, Podcast, positive, positive outlook, positive thinking, possibilities, practice, preparation, professional development, reframe your thinking, relationships, resilience, responsibility, risk taking, stretch out of your comfort zone, support system, talent, Talent is not enough, team, teamwork, thoughts, trust, value based leadership, values

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