Debra Kasowski

EPISODE 7: Making the Human Connection

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“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” Brene Brown

Connecting with people is human nature; we are social beings. With technology, you would think we would be more connected than ever but the opposite is true. People feel disconnected because they are missing the human connection.

Research shows that if you want to make a good first impression it is best to make it in person. Once a person makes the first impression it is often difficult to change it but we need to be careful “not to judge a book by its cover”, they could be your best client. You want to be open and test the reality of your impression by asking thoughtful questions and getting to know the person better. These impressions are often made in 3 seconds and 7 seconds online.

I remember a sales person sharing a story with me about a time when a person dressed in dirty work clothes came into their furniture store right before closing – 20-30 minutes before. Most of the sales people avoided eye contact with the person but he was curious about this person who just came into the store. This individual wanted to furnish his whole house and used this salesman to do it. Imagine his commission – all because her withheld or did not let his judgment influence him.

How do you make a human connection?

  • Start with being yourself.
  • Be Open.
  • Be Confident in Who You Are.
  • Smile – it’s FREE and a universal language!
  • Project a Positive Attitude!
  • Start with small talk and learn more.

Ask questions such as:

  • Do you have a pet?
  • Do you have children?
  • Are you married?
  • Where did you go on your last vacation?
  • What book are you currently reading?

Take an interest in who people are. Be genuinely curious!  There is a saying, “People want to know how much you care before they want to know how much you know!”

Make it about them!

Build relationships that are win-win without going straight to selling your product or service.

TMW_PDFclickhere.fw“If your focus is the immediate sale, you’re going to miss a lot of future opportunities.” – Ivan Misner, Founder of BNI, Business Network International

Learn about the people you connect with. What are their hobbies or interests? What are their personal goals?

Discover common interests – ways you can relate to one another.

Focus on what you can do for them. Introduce them to people they need to know – BE a CONNECTOR.

Connectors are influencers – whatever you put out into the world you will receive back.

Invite clients to be a part of your circle or community by inviting them to lunch or business mixers. Mail handwritten notes of gratitude or warm letters letting them know what you have been up to. Invite them to educational workshops. Email or send them an article that might be of interest to them.

I remember listening to Sandra Yancey, the Founder of eWomen Network share that when she was a little girl her mother told her to remember, “Give without remembering and take without forgetting.”

We need to find time to connect in our busy schedules. When we do connect – we need to actively listen and be present in the conversation.

Truly listen…

Hold back from jumping into the conversation before the other person stops speaking. It’s okay to wait for a pause. Think and then talk.

When I was in my coach training, we had an acronym – W.A.I.T. – Why Am I Talking?

Listen – you will learn so much more!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time 9:28 min

Why You Should Banish the Word TRY from Your Vocabulary

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The words we use to communicate carry so much power. There are some words that we just need to drop from our vocabulary for they carry nothing but a negative context.

I was speaking with a business owner whose focus was in real estate who needed someone to provide interior design and decor. I referred someone who is very professional and I respect. As you can appreciate, when you provide a referral you are providing someone that you know, like, and trust and who will do a good work. Right before their meeting, the business owner called me to let me know that they were about to meet. I wished them well and I had asked that this business owner treat my referral well. The business owner’s response was, “I will try.” To which my response was, “There is no try in how you treat people. You either choose to treat someone well or you choose not to.” The business owner became flustered and stated “What do you mean? I replied that how you treat someone is a choice.

 “Do or do not do. There is no try.” Star Wars character Yoda

Yoda’s philosophy applies to all opportunities that are presented to you. You cannot just sit on the fence or put in partial effort. You’re either in or you’re out. Your results are in direct proportion to whether you’re willing to make a commitment to choose to do something versus not doing something.

By reflecting on this conversation, I have made it my mission to help you, my reader, eliminate the word “try” from your vocabulary. Try is a destructive word for two main reasons: (1) it’s a cop-out or way to get you off the hook; you really don’t have to put the effort and (2) it points to self-doubt – doubt and fear that you are able to turn out the results you have been asked to deliver or hope to deliver. There is no real firm commitment to say, “Yes, I can do this!”

There is a distinct difference between “trying” and “doing”. I had read a story in which Tony Robbins was speaking to a woman in one of his audiences about her marriage. She told him that she had tried everything to save their marriage and that her husband had done nothing. So in hearing this, Tony Robbins had asked her to try to pick up a chair. The woman obliged and picked up the chair. He stated that he told her to “try to pick up the chair”. The woman was confused; she did not understand. He went on to explain that if you tried to pick up the chair you would not actually pick it up because you are making an attempt you weren’t doing. If I said pick up the chair to you, you could physically pick up the chair but if I ask you to try you will not succeed.

Really listen to the power of the word “try” and how it sabotages your efforts-it all starts in your mind. It’s time to shift to making a commitment. 100% all in where failure is not an option.

The words or phrases you should be using instead include:

I will…

I can…

Let’s get to it…

Can you hear the difference in the power of those phrases? How much stronger is your belief in yourself? How much more will you be able to accomplish or achieve?

Be aware of the words that you use. Make a commitment to yourself and to others when you say you will do things. Give it your best! Remember when you offer a referral you were hoping that they will treat your referral with the same respect and appreciation as the relationship they have formed with you.

What are some words you have eliminated from your vocabulary?

Please share this article with others who need to eliminate the word TRY!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com 

Are You Sacrificing Your Potential to Help Others?

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Networking can prove to be one of the most powerful was to fill your pipeline of clients. In one Gallup study, 50% of people feel networking is wasting time with people. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 70 % of all jobs are found through networking. Networking offers opportunities and inside track information that you will not find in the newspaper or online. Why? Networking is about building relationships. Networking is not a waste of time if you come from the belief that you are here to build relationships and help people achieve their goals. You are not there to see how many cards you collect or how many cards you can hand out in 30 minutes. You are there to meet new people and nurture relationships that have already formed.

Dollar bills flushed down the toilet

Collecting a stack of business cards on your desk is like throwing away money or as some would say flushing good money down the toilet. I do not think it is the networking that bothers people as it is so much of the issue as it is the follow-up. Many people are afraid to pick up the phone for the fear of rejection, resistance, and being challenged on their knowledge and ability to assist another person. I had the opportunity to assist with a political campaign by phoning residents asking for their support. Most people were polite. Some were not interested. No one yelled at me. I removed emotion and shared information. Remember – not everyone is the right fit. Really, what is the worst thing that will happen?

What happens if you do not take action? Your results are the same now that if you do not take action. The answer is always a “no” until ask or take some form of action. You miss out on developing rich relationships, referrals, meals, and potentially profits. You are in business to make money right? If not, you have a hobby. You are sacrificing your potential to help someone improve their performance, productivity, or profit with your product or service. You have the knowledge, skill, and ability to help others breakthrough barriers and create or innovate new things. If you do not share how you can help them or someone they know, how are they supposed to know about what you can do?

What is worse? You lose out on your opportunity to grow and learn. Each person I meet teaches me about a new concept, idea, or a perspective of how I can better serve others. What are you waiting for? Go ahead and attack that stack of cards on your desk. People may be waiting for your call. They may have lost or misplaced your card. Make the first move.

What do your prospects and customers teach you?

 

Do You Know Where Your Next Client Is Coming From?

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Are you too busy doing activities that do not serve you? Are you hiding behind the computer because the thought of networking makes you queasy? Do you think networking is a waste of time? Maybe, you thought if you built your business, product or service, the people would come. Sorry to disappoint you but people do not just come.

Your friends and family may have been your first customers. You may even feel that the well has dried up and you do not know where your next client is going to come from. The problem here is that you do not have a plan.

Find New Customers words written on a calendar date or day with red marker
Find New Customers words written on a calendar date or day with red marker

You need to have a plan. People need to learn about you and what you offer. You have to build the know, like, and trust factor. People have to get to know and like you before they will trust you with their money. Studies have shown on average it takes about 7-9 touches or contacts with a person before they will do business with someone. For some people, it takes up to 25 times. It takes even longer before they will refer someone from their circle of friends or colleagues.

Think about how you size up people and situations before you do business with them. Chances are that once you have built the relationship with them you have no problem doing business with them or referring others to them.

There are many ways to attract the ideal client. Networking events are only one of the ways to get the word out about your product or service. These events are a great way to meet new people. The most common downside I see when going to networking events is people tend to gravitate to people they already know. I challenge you to introduce yourself to three people you do not know. Find out what they do. Share what you do. Ask questions to learn more about what they do and learn more about them. You may offer a complimentary gift such as a sample or session for people to trial you. If you are not leveraging networking opportunities, you are giving money to your competition. If you do not serve your customer, someone else will.

People crave face to face connections and conversations. Live events are the best way to create those connections and get the conversations started. Networking events are a gathering of people for a common purpose. The ice breaker has already been established. You already have a relevant theme to talk about.

Live event ideas to meet your next client:

  • Chamber of Commerce events
  • Professional associations
  • Women’s Groups
  • Trade/Industry Associations
  • Rotary, Lion’s, and Kiwanis
  • Alumni associations
  • Sporting events
  • Business Mixers
  • Volunteer Opportunities
  • Conferences
  • meetup.com
  • Classes and workshops

Get out where the people are. Live events are only one way to meet your next client. Do not discount your everyday interactions in the grocery line or bank line up, at the gym or at your child’s school. Do the people you interact with know what you do? If not, here is an opportunity you are missing out on. Do not forget to leverage your social media interactions and check out Kijiji, Craigslist, Eventbrite, and Meetup.com for ways to connect with like-minded people.

Before you know it, you will be connected with several individuals. Now, you need to follow up and continue to build and nurture these relationships. Find out what their goals are and how you can help them. Zig Ziglar said, “You can get everything you want in life if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” When you do this consistently, you will not have to worry about where your next client will come from.

Where did you get your clients from?

Secrets of Powerful Networking

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Today’s topic is about the secrets of networking. I am going to share 3 with you.

1. Be intentional about who you are networking with but I want you to be careful not to network  just because of someone’s title. It can be very deceiving about what their roles and responsibilities are. The other thing I want you to be careful about with a title as you never know where someone is going. Start treating everybody as a person of influence. I worked with someone who was a Director and then an Executive Director within two weeks time frame of me meeting them. Be careful so you do not miss out on opportunities of networking with very influential people.

2. Believe in yourself. When you go to a networking event, you want people to notice you. Be excited about what you do. Believe in yourself, your business, what you are offering, the products and services, and that you are an ambassador of  that. Be really clear and focus in on what you want to achieve when you go to networking events.

3. Take Interest in Others. When you are networking with people be careful not to “dump” everything on them – sharing everything about yourself. It is really important to start learning – when you meet people discover what interest them  and what their needs might be. Think about how you can help them reach their goals. In turn if you help them achieve their goals I am sure they will want to champion yours!

Share some of your networking secrets with us!