gratitude Archives - Debra Kasowski

Count Your Blessings

October 6, 2022 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

More blessings to count than the number of things we own. A simple acknowledgment and a grateful heart can change your life.

Sitting at the table reciting a prayer of thanks, you could sense the excitement amongst the family for the starting flag to be waved and notifying everyone it is time to dig in. It is interrupted by the request to go around the room one by one sharing what each person is grateful for. The list starts with family, good health, a great school year, and food…can we dig in now?

Thanksgiving in Canada is the second Monday in October and in the United States it is the fourth Thursday in November. It is recognized as a day to give thanks for all we have. You don’t have to wait for the one day of the year to come around to practice being grateful. Being grateful for the abundance in your life can be a daily practice and set the tone for your day.

Write down 3 things you are grateful for daily.

In a YouTube Video posted by the Greater Good Science Center called “The Power of Gratitude”, Dr. Robert Emmons, Professor of Psychology at UC Davis, explains how gratitude has the ability to heal, energize, and change our lives. It can help heal past hurts and give hope and inspiration for the future. Gratitude has the power to shift the focus of your mind to what you currently have and not on what you are lacking.

Focus on what you currently have.

Gratitude can ignite awareness. In John Kralik’s book, 365 Thank Yous: The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life, he shares a story of his first written thank you note to his son. He was thanking his son for his Christmas present of single-cup coffeemaker. In writing out specifically what he was grateful for he came to the realization of how he had closed himself off from his son and how little he knew about his life. He knew that his relationship with his son needed to change, and he took intentional action moving forward. Kralik states “I will say that writing thank-you notes is a good thing to do and it makes me a better man. More than success or material achievement, this is what I sought.”

Be specific about what you are grateful for and how it has made your life better.

Gratitude can transform relationships and build people up to the way you see them and not necessarily how they see themselves. After all, we can be our own worst critics. Dr. Martin Seligman, author of Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment, talks about how one of his students suggested having a “Gratitude Night” where a part of the class brought a guest who had never properly been thanked a wine and cheese function. The guest did not know the purpose of the gathering until each student took time to specifically thank the guest, they had brought to the function with a one-page testimonial. Guess what happened? Givers, receivers, and bystanders were all crying – they were touched by humanity. Seligman suggests that the reader select someone in their lives to thank by writing up a testimonial and having a face-to-face eye-to-eye sharing of what that individual has brought to their lives. If you take up the challenge, take time to reminisce about specific events – what did you notice about how this person showed up? How did you feel around them? How did that event impact you?

It is never too late to thank someone; it could change their lives and most importantly yours.

We tend to live our lives like we are going to live forever yet we all know that our forever is a variable. You may be waiting for the right time to thank someone, or you wished you could thank someone for the impact they had on you. Waiting is a fleeting game. As the saying goes, “There is no time like the present.”

“The things we do when we expect our lives to continue are naturally and properly different than the things we might do if we expected them to end abruptly.”
– Daniel Gilbert, Stumbling on Happiness

As you head to your Thanksgiving festivities, take time to reflect on the richness in your life, count your blessings, and focus on those who have impacted your life and deserve your thanks.

By Debra Kasowski – a speaker, writer, and author who is passionate about gratitude, happiness, and helping others live meaningful and fulfilling lives.

EPISODE 132 – Pack Your Sales Backpack with Debbie Mrazek

September 19, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQubZEUt89o[/embedyt]

Meet Our Guest:

“You don’t have to be great to get started, but you do have to get started to be great!”

Debbie Mrazek coaches and consults with Fortune 500 companies, CEOs, solopreneurs, entrepreneurs, business start-ups and family businesses, helping her clients to identify their toughest sales challenges and guiding them through the process of developing and devising a clear, concise plan; a road map to achieving their vision and exponentially growing by working “smarter not harder”. With wisdom, sincerity, perspective, and an impressive skill set, she counsels and advises, then prioritizes for real results.

As a talented, dynamic, energetic, world-class speaker, Mrazek tackles invaluable content. Audiences describe her creative, engaging presentations as passionate, upbeat, and compelling with a dash of humor. She authored, The Field Guide To Sales: The All-Weather, All-Terrain Guide to Selling, in addition to other books, countless blog posts, articles, sharing her expertise on sales growth, support, and accountability.

Episode 77 – Fighting Negativity

March 9, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“See if you can catch yourself complaining, in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So, change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

We have all encountered people who have the glass half full viewpoint (optimist) and those with the glass half empty viewpoint (pessimist). Which one are you? Did you know we have 50,000-70,000 thoughts a day? 98% of those thoughts you have had the day before. Eighty percent of those thoughts are negative. It sounds crazy but most of your thoughts are not conscious thoughts. You have not brought them to your attention. When you do bring those thoughts to your attention, you have a choice whether to respond or not respond to them. If you focus or put your attention on a thought, you are giving energy to it or empowering that thought even if that thought could be wrong.

Don’t believe everything you think without questioning it. Your imagination can run away from itself – thinking often the worst of a situation rather than the best. To fight negativity, you must start with dealing with the negativity within.

Defeat the Negativity Within

Start by paying attention to what your inner voice is saying in any given situation. Is it empowering you or shaming you?

You cannot think a negative thought and a positive thought at the same time. When you think a negative thought, identify the thought and challenge your thought by questioning any assumptions you may be making. Surely, you have never made an assumption that was wrong before. I have I know I am not the only one. Remember though only have the meaning we give them. So, if you do not like the thought you are thinking, think a different thought or don’t give it meaning or your attention. Shift your energy by reframing the thought positively. Reframing will help change your perspective on some of the limiting beliefs you may be having. For example,

“I am not good enough to be chosen for the promotion.”

Is this thought true?

How do you know?

What do you want to be thinking?

“I AM good enough to be chosen for the promotion.”

Feel the energy shift. Wherever you focus your time and attention to, you will get more of. What are some of the self-limiting beliefs that you are having? Write out what your self-limiting beliefs are. Challenge the assumptions you may be making. Reframe the thought to an empowering thought. What do you want to be thinking? Consider capturing your thoughts by writing them down in a journal and reframing them.

Stop exposing yourself to negativity. Steer clear from watching the news first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed. There is a lot of negative news going on the world that can really affect your mood and mindset. What kind of movies and books to you read? What are you feeding your mind with? I am hoping is entertaining you, inspiring you, or educating you to become the best you can be!

Develop an attitude of gratitude. Start and end your day in gratitude. Gratitude is about being thankful and appreciative of something tangible or intangible and how it has impacted our lives. What are you grateful for? Positive psychology research shows that people who are grateful tend to be happier. Tell people in your life that you are grateful for them in your life or send them a thank you card. Too busy to write (even though I still suggest you send a card) – you may choose to thank them mentally.

The Negative Relationships – The Toxic People

Attitudes are contagious. Be careful who you surround yourself with; ensure you are spending time with positive people who encourage and support you. One of the greatest lessons I have learned is to not take other people’s negativity personally. Their reaction to things is about what is going on for them in their mind and life and often has very little to do with you. A toxic person is someone who makes a person feel bad about themselves by talking down to them, criticizing them, or belittling them. They may tell you that you can’t do things or you’re not good enough or talented enough to be successful. Do you know where that is coming from? It comes from their own fears of you succeeding or even that fact that they are not and did not go after their own goals.

Gandhi once said, “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with dirty feet.” You get to choose whether you will respond or react. Sometimes the toxic people may be people you are related to. Often the best things to do in these cases are to change the subject of the conversation or set boundaries by expressing what you are willing to talk about and what you are not willing to talk about. You are in control of letting that messaging in or keeping it out and how it impacts you. Limit your contact with toxic people.

The Negative Environment

Somethings you can control and somethings you cannot. You want to focus on what you can control.

Focus on solutions and the next positive step. It is easy to replay negative experiences over and over in our heads like a movie – reliving every moment. Is that what you really want? Learn to let go of past hurts. They occurred in the past and they cannot be changed.

Focus on the present – it what you can control. Redirect the topic and take control of the situation.

Keep the lines of communication open. Talk about your concerns openly and ask questions to avoid any misunderstandings. Again, your imagination can run wild if you do not ask questions to ensure you understand things correctly.

Deal with issues/concerns head on. Do not avoid having important conversations that you need to have. They can fester and exploded into much bigger problems and damage morale if not tended to immediately.

Follow up with others that you work and spend time with. This “pulse check” can help you determine if everyone is getting along or there are any concerns you may not be aware of. By being aware, positive changes can create positive results. Be proactive.

Be careful not to minimize the positive. Fighting negativity is a work in progress. It is too easy to fall into the trap of getting caught up in negative thinking, gossiping with others, and creating a toxic environment if you do not pay attention to where your thoughts are at any given moment.

Empower yourself by thinking empowering thoughts. When you think positive, you are giving a boost to your mood and you will take more affirmative actions to support your goals and objectives.

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time: 12:25 min

Episode 33 – Develop an Attitude of Gratitude

October 6, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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With Canadian Thanksgiving just around the corner, I thought it would be most valuable to talk about developing an “attitude of gratitude”. Being grateful does the need to only occur Thanksgiving. When you start to recognize what you are grateful for the more you will discover to be grateful for. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” In today’s world, if you get caught up in the media hype of wars, accidents, and bombing, you may find it difficult to find things to be grateful for. However, what you focus on expands.

Developing an attitude of gratitude is not a one-time meditation, prayer, or mindfulness practice. It is about how you think and feel about life. Research studies show that people who develop a gratitude mindset have a stronger immune system, lower blood pressure, and sleep better as well as feel more rested. These individuals tend to be more compassionate, more forgiving, and are less isolated because they are more outgoing. They tend to have a more optimistic view of life and find joy and pleasure in everything that they do.

Gratitude shifts your focus. People who are problem focus tend to complain and blame others for faults in results rather than being the solution focused. When you are solution focused, you are able to come up with new ideas and solutions to challenging situations. During times of adversity, gratitude helps you realize that you would not be who you are without the situations and circumstances that have occurred both good and not so good. You are better able to bounce back and become more resilient in situations. When you develop a shift in focus and mindset, you also shift away from the victim mentality to one of the victor. You will shift from “I have to” do something versus “I get to” or “I choose to” do something. Gratitude is not a chore it’s a privilege.

Think about all the things you “get to” do that many others do not.

Small thank yous can make a big impact. You can make a big difference by acknowledging someone and thanking them for what they have done for you. The smallest thank you can be the most memorable. When people are recognized for the things that they do their confidence grows and they are more apt to believe in their abilities and stretch beyond the current capabilities. Their work takes on a greater purpose and they feel that they are making a difference. When people hear that their work is appreciated, they tend to be motivated to work harder to hear more praise and appreciation.

Keep a journal and write down what you are grateful for. By writing down what you are grateful for you can start paying attention to the thoughts that you have been having and take note of any patterns in your thoughts. Your thoughts and feelings impact the actions you will take. Epicurus stated, “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you have you only hoped for.” Start by writing down three things every day that you are grateful for and encourage others to do the same. Gratitude is contagious.

Write a letter and reach out to others who you are grateful for. By doing this you can change someone’s world. Several years ago I sent a card to a schoolteacher that I had, she sent me a thank you card back because the card had brought her to tears is no one in her years of teaching at centre thank you for the impact that she had made the difference.

It’s important to give gratitude but also important to learn how to accept it. When someone gives you a gift of a compliment or helps you in some way, acknowledge and thank them for it. Don’t brush it off by just saying oh it’s nothing because to them it was something.

At the end of the day, like attracts like, and people who are grateful are fun to be around and tend to be happier. Why not choose to be more grateful at home, in the workplace, in your business, or organization today? You never know whose life you can change it may be your own.

Time: 10:14 min

Keywords: develop an attitude of gratitude, attitude of gratitude, mindset, gratitude, grateful heart, accepting compliments, accept thank you, accept gratitude, journaling, gratitude journal, gratitude expands

EPISODE 17: Harness the Power of Momentum

August 11, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Episode 17 – Harness the Power of Momentum

There are no limits to what you can achieve if you stay focused on what you are trying to achieve. You need to believe the impossible is possible for you. Your results may be better than you expect. Success has no guarantees; each action you take starts creating a momentum. If you stop taking action, you stop the momentum.

“Always work hard. Intensity clarifies. It creates not only momentum, but also the pressure you need to feel either friction, or fulfillment.”

— Marcus Buckingham

During my coaching program, we learned about Creative Tension – It moves us to take action. It helps us get out of our comfort zone and stretch us. Challenge us.

Why do we need it? What does it do?

Momentum helps us:

Push through and overcome obstacles. You may have heard about runners or even swimmer pushing through a certain distance to push forward what they may not have thought possible exclaiming, “What else can I do? What else can I do?” What else is possible for you?
Increase your motivation and confidence in your abilities. It helps you to try new things!

You are responsible for creating it through consistent actions. A rapid succession of successes and lessons drives momentum. Energy increases; it will be natural for others to want to follow you. You will become magnetic. You will start to inspire others around you.

Momentum is ignited when you have a clear vision – you know what you want to achieve, you are able to articulate and share your vision, and you can enroll others in your vision.

Do you want to get more clarity? Read my book GPS Your Best Life

Believe in your ability to make things happen. Your confidence, energy, and enthusiasm with excite others around you.

You are probably thinking to yourself – but how do I create a momentum – especially when times are tough or you are feeling challenged more than you think you can handle.

I want to share with you some of the ways that have worked for me and some of the clients I have worked with.

Challenge yourself – Be committed to continuous learning, stay curious and have a learner mindset. Try new things regularly.
Make a rule to quit complaining, blaming, and stop making excuses. You either get results or excuses.
Reduce your distractions. Declutter your space or your email. Clear whatever is in your way.
Be grateful for what you have; the more you will have to be grateful for.
Celebrate your successes – little things lead to big things! It will drive you to take more action. Breath in and acknowledge the successes before moving on to the next thing.
Deliver value and look for ways to exceed expectations. You will generate excitement in others and they will be grateful and share their experience with you – with others.
Do you least favorite activity first – EAT THAT FROG – Brain Tracy

Everything will move so much quicker with the momentum.

Set Milestones – You create anticipation. You may even meet goals quicker.
Measure your outcomes – what gets measured gets managed.
Fake it until you make it – take the actions you need to get to where you want to go. Who is a leader you admire? How can emulate some of the actions that they have taken to achieve success – do your homework. If you want to be a great leader, start being one now.
Make a plan – Work the plan. Otherwise, you will be chasing butterflies. Do you due diligence and your resources.
Don’t forget to dream – Sometimes when people are too realistic to the bone, it drags people down. Dreams can propel you further rather than looking at your current circumstances.
Follow up with people you have met at events or make inquiries – you will be surprised when you connect with others. They energy rises and people take an interest in what you are doing.

What happens when you stop running on a treadmill or riding a bike?

You stop moving – you fall off.

Worry and doubt can paralyze you from taking forward action. They drain your energy. Challenge yourself – test your theories. Ask questions. Gain knowledge – but don’t stop unless you know you are in danger.

No one is going to jail or getting hurt or killed in the process chances are whatever happens you can course correct.

We all start somewhere. There have been many successful people who did not start with any resources – no network of people, no money, no knowledge, did not know English or a language of the place they settled in. They built it and so can you.

“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.” — Og Mandino

Success is not about how many resources you have; it is about being resourceful and leveraging your resources in the most effective way. Focus on taking action and over time a compound effect with occur. If you are focused only on short-term activities to get immediate results, you will lose momentum quickly especially if you do not set a new target that stretched you.

Your efforts make a difference in how you feel about your progress and what you are going to achieve.

Let your efforts multiply!

Success comes from taking the initiative and following up…persisting…eloquently expressing the depth of your love. What simple action could you take today to produce a new momentum toward success in your life?

— Tony Robbins

You need to continually set new challenges to learn and grow. Acknowledge how far you have come. Reflect on what you can do better and work to improve.

Time: 16:31 min