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“Remember your dreams and fight for them. You must know what you want from life. There is just one thing that makes your dream become impossible: the fear of failure.”
Paulo Coelho
The achievement of a dream or goal can put a smile on the face of the person who longs for it. The face of satisfaction knowing that you gave your all and you saw the vision even if no one else did. There are people who hold back on taking efforts on their dreams and goals because it seems that achieving it is so far off in the distance. Some might even say they get paralyzed with fear from taking action.
My colleague Audrey and I were working on vision boards and she shared with me that she believes some people do not take action toward their dreams and goals because then the dream is over. They would rather think about than truly live it. To me, these are the “talkers”. They do not take actions; they talk about how when the stars align that they may think about it. Someday…and someday is not actioned on the calendar.
Fear is not uncommon. Many people have fears to different degrees. There are fears of embarrassment, success, failure, rejection, criticism, uncertainty, and death. Most fears evoke worry. Worry is nothing more than wasted energy. It blocks you from being open to ideas and strategies to take action. Emotions run high and imagination runs wild. Rationale thought is not possible. Take a deep breathe. Most of what you allow you imagination to conjure up will not happen. I believe that the reason become fearful is that they feel they have a loss of control.
It is important to ask: “What am I afraid of?
Am I afraid of being rejected? Someone will disapprove of me or my behavior?
Am I afraid to fail? How will I face others?
Am I afraid of being criticized? What will people say about me?
It takes courage to do the uncomfortable. It takes courage to express your feelings. It takes courage to stand tall when people are laughing at you. It takes courage to say, “Who cares! I believe in me!”
You can handle all these things and you are IN control of how you respond or react in any situation.
People will criticize and tell you it can’t be possible. What other people think of you is NONE of your business…so what? Another person’s opinion is dependent on their lens of the world, knowledge, and experience. Most people who criticize have not done what you have done or plan to do. They hide behind their own fears.
A question you can reflect on is: “Why do you need the approval or validation?”
Rejection is one stop on the path to success. You need to keep going until the right timing and the right person align. Until then, practice…you are developing your expertise and letting people know about what you do.
Failure is nothing more than a learning opportunity. If something did not go as well as you hoped, the next question should be, “Now what?”
“What worked?”
“What didn’t work that needs to be stopped?”
“What can I do differently the next time?”
Failure is the best teacher. Leverage it!
You never swam laps the first time you jumped in the water to swim. You may have even swallowed a few mouthfuls of water. You never rode a bike to the playground the first time you got on it. You never rode off into the sunset in your family beater car the first time you pressed the gas.
We all learn…I remember when I first started in business and I was doing an interview with a well-known speaker…I forgot to press play on the recording and had to ask to start the interview again…boy was I embarrassed. She was amazingly gracious.
We get closer to achieving our goals by challenging ourselves and stepping out of our comfort zones. Facing our fears and leaning into our faith in ourselves.
What would it take for you not have the fear?
Do you need to talk to someone who is doing what you want to do? Who do you know who knows someone? Ask who you know.
Do you need to gain more knowledge? The internet is at your finger tips…make sure it is a good source.
Do you need to practice? Put yourself out there. You do not get anywhere hiding at home. Get in front of the mirror, talk to yourself, talk to family and friends – as Nike’s tagline says – “Just Do It!”
Your fears will begin to minimize. The risk of failure will minimize. Keep taking consistent action toward your goals and soon enough your goals will be realized!
We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get my just release FREE e-book about the 21 Habits High Achievers Kick to Achieve Success. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com
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“Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.” George Washington Carver
[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01VG9oPn56w[/embedyt]
One habit you are going to want to break free from is the habit of making excuses. Excuses are the long litany of reasons or rationale as to why you did not take action or do what you said you were going to do. Excuses defend your behaviours. When you fall on excuses, you are avoiding taking ownership of your life and responsibility for the outcomes and results that you want to get. It always seems to be someone else’s fault why they are not getting the success that they want. They play the victim. They often claim that their situation is different and no one understands what they are going through. Excuses are a way of avoiding reality and looking in the mirror.
Does this sound like you? If you catch yourself making excuses, STOP right there.
Do you want different results?
Yes!
You need to take 100% responsibility for your results. No excuses allowed.
You will find a way to figure it out. If you need to ask for help, you will ASK!
The excuses you are making tend to be due to FEAR!
Yes, that’s right. FEAR and there is a pay off for not taking action.
Some of the most common fears are:
Your fears hold you back from what you really want. If you allow your fears to hold you hostage, you cannot experience success. Your passion for what you want needs to be greater than you fear to step into your potential. When your fear is greater than your passion, you will make bad judgments, lack the self confidence to take responsibility to take charge of your life and may even live with regrets.
Start by taking a look at the excuses you have been making. What are they?
Not sure, listen to these excuse starters…
“I don’t have enough time…”
“I do not have enough education OR I am not smart enough.”
“It’s not the right time.”
“I don’t feel like it…OR I am not inspired to do it.”
”I do not know how to get started… OR how to do it”
“I am too old or too young.”
“I do not have the money.”
Challenge your excuses! Are you making excuses or do you have a REAL reason for something not turning out as you wished?
We all have the same amount of time in a day; it all depends on how you allocate the time you have available.
You can learn new information by researching and reading, watching YouTube Videos, taking a course, and asking others who already know how to do what you want to do.
Where do you prioritize your money? There is a tendency to focus your money where you feel is most important. Can you find a way to change the priorities assigned to your money?
When you feel its not the right time, you will note that there is a lack of resources, information, or confidence in your abilities.
When age is the excuse, it is due to a lack of confidence.
Whether you feel like it or not, you need to do it, Otherwise, you will always have a reason for not getting the results you want.
Focus on the here and now! What is in your control? You cannot change the past.
Stop comparing your situation to others. Don’t worry about what others are doing. Everyone is on their own journey and has different passions. Avoid comparing your situation or circumstance with others.
Focus on the solutions and opportunities in front of you and coming your way.
Look at your situation from different perspectives before making a decision.
Tap into your strengths. You are more talented and capable than you give yourself credit for.
You will find a way! No excuses allowed!
Excuses do not allow you to move ahead or grow in the process.
“If you have passion, there is no need for excuses because your enthusiasm will trump any negative reasoning you might come up with. Enthusiasm makes excuses a nonissue.” Wayne Dyer
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We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get my just release FREE e-book about the 21 Habits High Achievers Kick to Achieve Success. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com
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What was once believed that social media was only a trend that the “kids” were using is now considered a valuable business tool. People are making more of their buying decisions based on what they learn and see through digital media. Social media is not going away so instead of resisting and why not learn more about leveraging it for your business, organization, or brand. We are human and we have the need to be social.
In today’s podcast, I want to talk about some of the fears that people get caught up with when it comes to social media. I understand why people are fearful yet I also understand there is a way to leverage social media for your business to position yourself in the marketplace effectively.
Let’s talk about some of the fears people have:
Create a strategy for yourself. Many businesses are reluctant to get into the social media game as they are not sure what to post and what times of day to post. Why not test to see if something works for a short period of time and if it doesn’t work you can change it. You can always check out what times are best by Googling it or checking out iconographic on Pinterest. When creating your strategy you want to be very clear about your intention, your why-what is the outcome that you’re hoping to achieve? What is the message that you want to share? Who is your audience? What do they do? What platforms are they spending their time on? You need to be positioned where they are. Social media is a great way to build brand loyalty and it is a cost-effective marketing tool to promote your business.
You can share some personal posts here and there so that your persona shines through but you do not have to post pictures of your dog regularly unless the dog is part of your brand or is the mascot or ambassador for your company. Think about what you post and post with intention. Random pictures should be saved for a personal profile. Give Facebook Live or Instagram Stories a try by giving life to your brand and sharing a little glimpse into your day and what you do. Video, by far, is one of the most captivating and engaging marketing tools you could be using.
What if you shifted your thinking to, “I am going to be positioned as an expert in my field.” “I am going to share valuable content that will boost my credibility.” See the difference! When you are using social media with the intention to captivate and add value to your customers, how can you go wrong?
Each blog post or social media post that you post leaves a digital footprint. Think about the message or the legacy you want to leave. Keep your posts positive and intentional. By leveraging social media, you are opening up the opportunity to expand your exposure activities at a low cost and reaching more people in a different way. Quit leaving money on the table – people need to know what you are doing.
We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com
Time: 09:41 min
Keywords: brand, branding, leveraging social media, fear of failure, fear of social media, cost-effective marketing, comparison trap, target your audience, lack of confidence, confidence, strategy
Have you ever had a new idea or want to implement something and you face resistance? Do you ever feel that you’re defending yourself or your ideas? Do you sometimes feel that you’re lowering your standards because you can’t get others to buy in? Facing resistance can be very challenging when you’re goal setting. Resistance can also work in your favour if you know how to leverage it. When you are faced with resistance, I want you to challenge your assumptions and ask more questions to identify, “Where this resistance is coming from?” Is this resistance coming from yourself and your own beliefs or is this resistance being placed on you do to another person’s belief?
“Resistance is a powerful motivator precisely because it enables us to fulfill our longing to achieve our goals while letting us boldly recognize and name the obstacles to those achievements.”
― Derrick A. Bell
Many people attribute their success to goal-setting. There are other individuals who do not see the reason or the importance of setting goals. They are what we will call the “resistors”. These are the people that no matter how much you are going to try and convince them; they are just not going to buy in. According to the online Oxford dictionary, resistance is “the refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.”
Resistors are the ones who will see the world through a different lens than you. Instead of fueling the resistance, it can be helpful to gain an understanding of their perspective. It has been my learning through appreciative inquiry that when faced with resistance or someone providing negative feedback it is important to gain an appreciation of that person’s viewpoint. There may be nuggets of information that can be considered valuable to a project or to the goals set themselves.
There may be several reasons behind they are resisting setting goals or following through on them even though many people have proved to be successful goal setting.
#1 Afraid Of Commitment By “Inking” The Goal. For some people, writing out a goal on paper means that they’re making a declaration or a commitment to what they are doing. Suddenly they go from talking a good talk to actually walking the talk in doing what they say they want to do. This can be frightening and at the same time so powerful. When a person sets the goal and writes it down, the mere writing it down in ink suddenly makes it seem more real. This is when all the doubts, self-limiting beliefs, and all the internal chatter comes up.
What to Do: Tap into the “why”. What makes this goal so exciting? What is holding the resistor back from inking the goal? What is their true fear? What will it feel like to achieve the outcome that is desired? What impact will it make? How will they be part of making a difference?
# 2 Different View of How Things Should Be Done. Similar to the sales process or a person’s view of change, you may be faced with objections or resistance. There are many ways to get to the same outcome. Sometimes when we face resistance we feel challenged and get frustrated.
What to Do: Ask insightful questions to learn more about the other person’s perspective and share your perspective. Are there any similarities? What can you learn from the other person’s viewpoint? Is it possible that there could be more efficient and effective way of getting to the same outcome?
#3 Different Vision of the Outcome. People may become disinterested in supporting a project or goal because they have a different vision of what the outcome could be. Resistance may show up because the resistor doesn’t have enough information or has not been influenced to believe that this vision is compelling.
What to Do: You may consider saying the following:
“It sounds like you have a different view of how things should be. What vision do you see? What approach do you believe we should be taking? Tell me more…”
#4 Fear Sets In. There may be many fears that creep up when setting goals. There is the fear of rejection and not being accepted. You may believe that people will laugh at your goals or the ideas you present. Remember is that your goal is your goal and it needs to be important to you. People will always have their opinions. It is important not to take them personally. People often fear change due to uncertainty. The fear of success may also challenge you. Your imagination starts to take over and you think about all the things that could happen should your project or goal be achieved. Many of the things that you think of may or may not even happen and you may even feel that there’s a loss of control. The fear of failing may come up for you and this will prevent you from taking action steps required to go to war the goal. You become fearful of making mistakes and sometimes will not even try.
What to Do: Withholding your ideas does not serve anyone. Your idea could be the game changer that helps you reach the next level or transform approach if you might be working on. Whether it be that you have a fear of success, change, uncertainty, loss of control, or failure, know that you can take 100% responsibility for the choices that you make. Seek to gain more information and ask questions. Remember indecision is a decision. When you’re setting goals, evaluate the risks and be prepared for obstacles that don’t focus on. Focus on what you have control over and the actions steps that you can do. If mistakes occur, learn from them and move forward. Dwelling on them steals your energy and joy in moving toward the destination.
# 5 The Belief That Goal-Setting Stifles Creativity. For the creatives out there, you may see goal-setting is suffocating with tight deadlines and the need to multitask. The structure of goal setting can actually be beneficial to you so that you’re not distracted by all the other ideas that are streaming through your mind at any point in time.
“Every creative person, and I think probably every other person, faces resistance when they are trying to create something good…The harder the resistance, the more important the task must be.”
― Donald Miller
What to Do: Be open and present to new opportunities while pursuing a goal. Look for ways that a can in rich and allow for creativity along your journey. Know that there will be adjustments along the way. As you adjust be aware of your distractions, stay focused on the direction that you want to go. When creative people become resistant, it important to engage them in brainstorming and coming up with solutions. This is where they shine.
#6 Self-Limiting Beliefs Can Sabotage Goal-Setting. A person’s belief in their own ability to perform or deliver on tight deadlines can hold them back from achieving the goal or delivering the final product. Often these individuals lacked confidence in their abilities and sometimes believe that others are better than themselves. This comparison can hold them back from sharing their talents and abilities even if you see that they are capable and competent.
What to Do: Identify your strengths and acknowledge that we all have some limitations. Know what you’re good at and delegate what you do not believe you’re strong at. If you’re managing a team, let these individuals know the value that they bring to the project and that you acknowledge their knowledge, skills, and abilities. People can work harder when they know that someone has taken an interest in who they are and what they have to offer. Don’t just focus on people for the task by what they bring to the table and who they are.
#7 Personal Habits Can Get In The Way. Habits are often underestimated is the reason people resist setting a goal. Some people resist setting the goal because they’re procrastinating. They avoid goal setting versus setting up a strategic approach to conquering the goal. For some, they may believe that it will take up too much time, too much money, or it’s going to take away from their lives in some way. There are times when I believed people avoid setting goals because they know that setting a goal requires hard work and they just don’t want to put that work in. Some of these people do just enough to get by. Other habits that get in the way of goal achievement and goal setting are perfection, lack of attention to detail, distractions, and being overscheduled. Don’t forget a person’s attitude can forecast their altitude!
What to Do: Examine your habits and determine if they are serving you are holding you back. Ask yourself or the resistor if they may be procrastinating or what they may be trying to avoid. Learn how much time, money, and effort is required for each milestone dedicated toward the goal. Along the way, put out the following questions:
What is working?
What is not working?
What do I need to stop doing?
What needs to be improved?
What can I be doing differently?
No matter if you are managing your own resistance or the resistance of another person, there are ways to motivate and encourage individuals to raise their standards while also holding them accountable for their actions. Self-reflection is an important part of a person’s growth. It allows for self-awareness, self-management, and self-development. People cannot improve what they’re not aware of.
My challenge for anyone facing resistance is that you challenge your assumptions and assumptions of others. Resistance means that you must be curious and gain an understanding of what is being resisted. Discover new perspectives and realize that there are more ways to achieving the desired outcome. Trust your people and trust the process along the way.
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. Debra is the host of The Millionaire Woman Show podcast helping people live rich from the inside out through leadership, business, and human potential. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com