Debra Kasowski

Episode 51: The Power of Personal Accountability

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“The victim mindset dilutes the human potential. By not accepting personal responsibility for our circumstances, we greatly reduce our power to change them.”
― Steve Maraboli

Personal accountability is about acting in alignment and doing what we say we’re going to do. It truly is about taking 100% responsibility for one’s own actions. By taking personal accountability, you are taking steps to improve yourself as a leader – a leader that people can know and like as well as trust. You can always recognize someone who is not accountable for their actions by listening to their language. People who are not accountable for their actions play the victim role. These are the people who tend to ignore or deny their involvement in the part of a situation. They tend to blame or complain about others as to why they’re not getting the results that they want. They explained all the reasons why they shouldn’t be held accountable for their actions or the results achieved. If you really want to get the results you say you want, your greatest success weapon is about becoming and accountable leader.

28869249_sBeing accountable isn’t always easy. There’s increased responsibility and expectations on ourselves to achieve more. If you are consistent and work hard, you will often end up achieving more than you believe possible. The impossible became possible when people took the necessary actions steps consistently to get to where they want to go. Being accountable can position you to feel unstoppable. You will learn to trust yourself and your abilities for getting those results. The other day I briefly watched a segment of @garyvee (Gary Vaynerchuk) and he said that most people are walking around like they’re coming back. This struck a chord with me. It may be due to my nursing background and having held a baby after its first breath and also holding the hand of someone who is dying and takes their last. Life is too short to not put in 100% effort. People tend to be scared of that accountability factor maybe because they think someone’s checking up on them. The only person checking up on you is yourself and holding yourself to a higher standard.

TMW_PDFclickhere.fwWhen you hold yourself accountable, you realize that you need to start making decisions with intention. Every decision you make has an outcome. The results you see around you are based on the decisions you have made so far. If you don’t like what you see, you need to start making different choices. Your choices might include taking a course in gaining more knowledge, reaching out and asking for help, going to a networking event and building the relationships around you, and providing feedback to your team so they can improve. If you hold yourself back from being the best that you can be, you will fall short and may even fail just because you weren’t willing to take responsibility for the actions that you took.

Being a victim of your circumstances is a choice. You can choose to respond or you can choose to react to any situation. Those who play the victim are often reactive by placing blame and getting angry without doing any or self-reflection on their role in the situation. If you catch yourself going into the victim’s state, you can always stop and reframe the situation and choose to become more responsive. In the problem shows up, don’t ignore it and pretend it’s not there think about how you can solve it versus resist it. Is there a chance that you can make a mistake? Absolutely! Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.” You can always course correct do not let the fear of making a mistake holds you back from making potentially the greatest leap forward.

When you start owning your stuff by being accountable for your actions, you will be able to be successful in pushing through the challenges you face. When you don’t, you begin to resent others and people will have a hard time trusting you. You need to begin by taking charge of who you are and how you wish to show up. One of the things that I noticed is a leader is that often people do not realize that they have the power to be part of significant change because they have a choice to engage or not engage in their environment. Individuals need to realize how much power they actually have to get the results they envision. When they start sharing that vision with others, other people in the group may also offer ideas and solutions to make them become reality. The employee tends to be more engaged because they were part of the solution.

In order to be an accountable leader, you need to be open to a new perspective and challenge your own assumptions. When I teach emotional intelligence, it’s all about becoming self-aware and taking responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and the actions we take. You need to be aware of self-limiting beliefs as well as your own flaws of perfectionism and even procrastination. These are forms of resistance in preventing you from being accountable for your actions. Perfection can delay results and procrastination may mean that you never get started.

As a coach, I have been able to recognize when someone is spiraling into a victim mentality. I always find it interesting that we can see the potential in others before we see the potential in ourselves. The individuals that I have coached are great leaders bursting out and stepping into their greatness. Some of the roadblocks that they face tend to be more internal than external. They have self-limiting beliefs and self-doubt about their ability to accomplish what they set their mind to. Asking for help is considered to be a strength and it helps you examine what needs to improve to get you to where you want to go. Your mindset is a key part of defining some of the actions that you’re going to take. If you don’t believe something is possible, you’re not going to take actions that organize support you and therefore not get the results that you want. If you don’t believe you deserve something, again you’ll find ways to self-sabotage getting the results that you want. Pay attention to what is going on in your mind because it impacting the actions you take.

You won’t be disappointed by taking accountability for your actions. You will gain respect and trust as being someone who walks their talk. You will start getting the results that you truly want instead of looking out toward for success on the outside you’ll realize that success begins with you. The richness of your life and your business or organization starts with you.

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
― Theodore Roosevelt

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time:  11:08 min

 

Keywords:  holding yourself accountable, accountability, accountable, podcast, being an accountable leader, taking responsibility, victim mentality, coaching, choice, decision making, accountability partner

7 Ways to Sharpen Your Decision Making Skills

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Effective decision making begins with knowing what you value and what is important to you. What you value, want, and need motivates you to take action. When you make choices that are not in line with your values, you will feel uneasy and incongruent with your choices – off track. When you make choices that are aligned with your values, you are at ease, satisfied, and fulfilled with the direction you are going.

According to the Free Dictionary online, value means “relating to or consisting of principles or standards”. Take a look around you; you will notice that everyone has different values. They have different standards. Everyone does not place value on the same things; therefore, the world is full of abundance because not everyone wants or desires the same things. Making decisions based on what you value is referred to as value-based decision making.

Do you find it hard to make decisions? Do you narrow down your choices and still find it hard to make a decision? Are you often influenced by other people’s opinions and later regret you did not listen to your gut instinct? Decision making can be made easy when you know yourself and what you value. Self-awareness is the cornerstone of decision making. Our values influence our thoughts and feeling and impact the decisions we make. Every decision we make takes us closer to or farther away from creating our desired future or outcomes.

What a person values is different than what they believe to be true. Beliefs are formed from out interactions and experiences of what we believe to be true. Many assumptions and judgments may be made that have no truth to them. Values are part of your core; the person who you are.

“If I had an hour to solve a problem I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.” – Albert Einstein

To become a Value-Based decision maker or leader, follow these steps:

  1. Identify what is important to you. Values include generosity, respect, truth, honesty, gratitude, freedom, integrity, wisdom, responsibility, and accountability. There are much What is most important to you?
  2. Prioritize your values. You may value many things. Determine your top 5 values that you base your decisions on. These are non-negotiables,
  3. Recognize your emotions and the emotions of others. How you feel or how others are feeling can impact the decisions you make. Challenge any assumptions or judgments you may be making. Don’t be afraid to question or clarify what you are thinking.
  4. Gather the facts. You want to gather enough information that you feel good about the decision you are making. Do you need to speak to someone or research more information?
  5. Compare to similar situations and reflect on what worked, what did not, and what you needed to do differently. What are your options? What alternative exist? What are the consequences of the options or alternatives?
  6. Focus on the facts versus your emotions. When you have all the information you need, decision-making should be much quicker and easier.
  7. Make your decision. Adjust your course of action if required. You may need to make new decisions. Repeat this process as necessary to guide you to achieve the results you want.

The most effective decisions are based on values versus one person’s belief. Values define a standard or a code of honor to abide by. Beliefs are based on experiences. If a person’s decision making is solely based on their beliefs, the decisions that are made will only be as good as the situations and experiences that they have been exposed to. Values are who you are – know yourself and what is important to you!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

7 Things Will Happen When You Start Tracking Your Progress

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Setting goals has always been seen as one of the most important pieces attributing to a person’s success. You can’t achieve success if you are not measuring the achievement of your goals. If you want to perform at your top level of potential, you need to start tracking your progress. By tracking your progress, you will accelerate your success faster than if you did not track it.

Write out your goals and track your progress. There are many app based tracking tools for your smartphone like LifeTick, BackPack, 43 Things, Stickk, and Achievr to help you keep on track. You can track the progress of any goal you set has long as it is S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely). You can track the cups of coffee you are drinking, the amount of money you are spending, how many kilometers you are driving, and the number of referrals you have followed up with after a networking event. If you are not tracking you are not making progress. Ink it so you can think it!

“Progress is the activity of today and the assurance of tomorrow” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Once you start tracking, you will start noticing a shift in how you approach your goals:

  1. You will be excited to keep track of a visual of your progress. Colour code it. Set milestones that you can celebrate along the journey to achievement. Tracking a goal makes the goal itself more tangible. You can already feel closer to your goal.
  1. You will be more intentional with how you use your time. You will start to notice where you are spending your time, money, and resources and whether or not you are getting a greatest return on your investment.
  1. You will make a plan in alignment with where you want to be. Are the actions that you are taking getting you closer to achieving your goal or farther away?
  1. You will start self-reflecting and adjust your course of action toward the achievement of your goals. What is working? What is not working? What can you stop doing?
  1. You will make better decisions based on the facts that you have at hand. You will be able to evaluate your resources and ask better questions about information you need to make an informed decision.
  1. You will be able to say “no” or set boundaries with greater ease. You have made a commitment to yourself. By tracking your progress, you will feel less guilt because you can see how close you are getting to achieving your goals. Whether you or saving for the new car, starting a new business, or saving up for your dream vacation, you will start to track spending patterns and areas where you need to cut back on your spending. It may be easier to eat a meal or make a coffee at home instead of going out.
  1. You will be more solution focused on getting your desired results. You will come up with new ideas on how to approach things. What you did not know “how” to do, you will start figuring out or you will start asking for assistance.

You will begin to notice how vital it is to track your progress. You will be more committed to your goals than ever before. Each action you take gets you closer to your goals so go and be a goal getter!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her work has been published in Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com

Boost Your Emotional Intelligence by Asking Better Questions

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My post “How to Use Your Emotional Triggers to Your Advantage” received a lot of feedback. I was asked whether or not I would be expanding it to a series and if I could dig deeper and leave you, the reader, contemplating some of the questions I ask.

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Recognizing your emotional triggers is very important for the fact that our emotions and emotional awareness influence problem solving and decision-making. When you are triggered by your emotions, positive or negative, you should take a step back and ask yourself questions. By asking yourself questions, your brain can’t help but search for answers. Questioning is a powerful tool used in problem solving and decision-making. Asking better questions will lead to better answers, better solutions to problems, and better decisions being made – impacting results.

If asking a question would lead to a better results and outcomes, why are people not asking more questions? Maybe you were told as a child that it was not polite to ask questions. You may have had a question that you wanted to ask but you are afraid because you didn’t want to challenge an authority figure or peer for fear of making them look incompetent. You may not have wanted to dig deeper for further understanding or admit a weakness. Individuals often fail to ask questions thinking it’s too much trouble or that they may be being a bother.

Let me ask you, what is the cost of you not to ask questions?

Asking questions can mitigate risk. Imagine if someone knew that there was a safety hazard, such as a loose part or missing piece, in an airplane or automobile and didn’t ask a question or speak up for the fear of questioning authority or competence. Lives could be lost.

Asking questions can lead to new questions and even more questions leading to new discoveries and challenging old beliefs and assumptions. Christopher Columbus questioned whether the Earth was round or flat and went off to discover new worlds.

Asking questions helps us understand how things work. By understanding how things work, you can also think of ways to be more efficient, improve performance, and even save money.

Many relationships and communication would be improved by asking questions. Asking questions allows a person to explore thoughts and ideas further and clarify misunderstandings.

Asking questions can help you save money. You can call your credit card company and ask for a lower interest rate. You may ask for a discount for a multi-purchase order or damaged product. You can also weigh your options when you inquire for quotes on different services.

10502331_lDon’t let the fear of asking questions hold you back from getting the answers you need to make a decision. People naturally want to help others and your questions may even help them think about better solutions and different actions that can be taken.

When I say it’s important to ask questions, I’m not asking you to find blame, complain about someone else, or make excuses for yourself or others. I am asking you to look at each situation with an open mind and fresh eyes. Approaching situations with the learner mindset allows you to be curious and explore what is happening and how it occurred.

Questions you should avoid are ones:

  • Looking for fault “Who did it?”
  • Stalling progress or justifying procrastination “When does this need to be completed?”
  • Promoting victim thinking “Why don’t they get their act together?” OR “Why is this happening to me?”

In order to get stronger solutions, steps, and strategies to come up with better results, you must start asking what and how. Before asking others the “What” And “How” questions, start by asking yourself:

  • What can I do?
  • What would happen if I…?
  • What solutions can I suggest?
  • How can I do my job better?
  • How can I make a difference?

Be careful how you use the “What” And “How” questions, you can do much damage if you don’t use them for the purpose of discovery. Think about your tone and your intention. “What were you thinking?” or “How come you did that?” put people on the defensive.

Think about what you want to ask. What information do you want to know? What would happen if you tried a new approach to an old problem? What would happen if you brainstormed with a mentor or coach? What would happen if you asked for help? How much further ahead would you get than where you are now if you started asking? How can you best support your decisions?

Gathering information, recognizing your emotions, and improving your problem-solving will boost your emotional intelligence. You can strengthen and improve communication, relationships, and decision-making.

What are the questions you should be asking? How are you holding yourself back from getting what you want? Start being curious!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 Magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com

 

 

10 Things You Need to Stop Doing in Order to Start Seeing Results

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businessman showing Stop doing what doesn't work words underneath his shirt over blue sky

When people think about productivity and performance, they often think about how many items they accomplished and crossed off on their to-do lists. However, if your total focus is on what you should or could be doing, the list could be endless. It is easy to get caught up on the to do list but we fail to notice that if we spent more time stopping what we should not be doing we could increase our productivity, performance, and start seeing the results that we really want.

Start creating a Stop Doing List:

  1. Stop being distracted by your cellphone; put it away. When you take time to put your distractions away and actively listening to what the other person is saying and paying attention to their body language you will start to pick up clues can learn so much more about the other person. This will help you ask better questions and strengthen relationships. Putting away your distractions allows you to do the work you know you need to get done like finishing a report, making a phone call to a client, or sending out that welcome package.
  2. Stop talking about yourself and your role. Take time to find out more about your employees are your customers instead of focusing on yourself. You will learn more about their needs and their wants and how you can best serve them. People are not interested in you and what you role is and how great you are. They want to know what is in it for them – make the conversation about them.
  3. Stop making rash or impulsive decisions. Feeling frustrated or angry? Step away from the situation get some fresh air. Gather more information. Separate the facts from your emotions. Take some time to assess and weigh your options. Give yourself a specific amount of time before you make a decision, hold a difficult conversation, or invest your money. For example, some people wait 24 hours before making a major purchasing decision. This time frame allows for them to think through their decision before making it final.
  4. Stop blaming, complaining and making excuses. These behaviors are just the deflective mechanism for not taking full responsibility for one’s actions, behaviors, and life. You need to own what you do and what you say and take personal responsibility for what you can influence. When you avoid speaking up when you see a gap or something wrong in a plan, you must accept the consequences. If you want different results, you must speak up and provide information that may be necessary to get the results you need. Complaining does not solve anything; it allows you to vent. Action creates results. Excuses are just reasons why you’re not fully committed to what you said you wanted to do. Personal accountability starts with you committing to what you say you want to achieve and taking the actions necessary to make it happen.Portrait of a beautiful girl showing stop sign with palms isolated on a white background
  5. Stop making assumptions and judgments. When you make assumptions and judgments, you are making them based on your own personal beliefs and experiences. You are painting everyone with the same brush. A better approach would be to come from a learner’s perspective and ask questions to gain more information. Start challenging the assumptions and judgments and discover if they are really true. You may find that some of those perceptions are totally off-base.
  6. Stop making everything a competition where someone has to lose and someone has to win. You will gain greater strides when you start working with people than working against them. If someone is better at something than you are, ask questions and learn from them. Hone your own skills to be better. Leverage your strengths versus focusing on your weaknesses.
  7. Stop putting off what needs to get done. You need to ensure that you are managing your priorities. Focus on where your greatest return on investment of your time, money, and resources come from. Work on what you need to get done first before answering e-mails that often request things of you.
  8. Stop reacting and getting defensive to change. Change represents progress and movement. People often react and get defensive when they lack information and they make snap judgments. Get more information so that you can respond to a situation and communicate your needs and get what you want.
  9. Stop putting in the last word. Everyone does not need your two cents about how great you are and how you are the only one who makes great decisions or is successful. You may be great but you don’t want your last words to linger making others feel poorly about themselves. When a conversation is closed, leave it at its highest point instead of ending with, “By the way…”
  10. Stop making decisions that are not aligned with your values and what you say is important to you. Your life and where you are, are a product of all the decisions and choices you have made thus far. If you want different results, you need to start making different choices. Take time to figure out what is most important to you and ask yourself why you decide to do what you do. When you know your “why”, you will make better choices.

BONUS: Stop worrying about what other people think. Do you want to become what they think of you or what you think of yourself? Seeking other people’s approval is exhausting of your time and energy. Be yourself!

What you do on your to do list is just as important as what you need to stop doing. When you focus on what you need to stop doing, you will realize that you will tend to your priorities and start seeing your productivity, performance, and even profits start to grow. You are in control of your results.

What things can you add to the list?

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com