Debra Kasowski

EPISODE 7: Making the Human Connection

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“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” Brene Brown

Connecting with people is human nature; we are social beings. With technology, you would think we would be more connected than ever but the opposite is true. People feel disconnected because they are missing the human connection.

Research shows that if you want to make a good first impression it is best to make it in person. Once a person makes the first impression it is often difficult to change it but we need to be careful “not to judge a book by its cover”, they could be your best client. You want to be open and test the reality of your impression by asking thoughtful questions and getting to know the person better. These impressions are often made in 3 seconds and 7 seconds online.

I remember a sales person sharing a story with me about a time when a person dressed in dirty work clothes came into their furniture store right before closing – 20-30 minutes before. Most of the sales people avoided eye contact with the person but he was curious about this person who just came into the store. This individual wanted to furnish his whole house and used this salesman to do it. Imagine his commission – all because her withheld or did not let his judgment influence him.

How do you make a human connection?

  • Start with being yourself.
  • Be Open.
  • Be Confident in Who You Are.
  • Smile – it’s FREE and a universal language!
  • Project a Positive Attitude!
  • Start with small talk and learn more.

Ask questions such as:

  • Do you have a pet?
  • Do you have children?
  • Are you married?
  • Where did you go on your last vacation?
  • What book are you currently reading?

Take an interest in who people are. Be genuinely curious!  There is a saying, “People want to know how much you care before they want to know how much you know!”

Make it about them!

Build relationships that are win-win without going straight to selling your product or service.

TMW_PDFclickhere.fw“If your focus is the immediate sale, you’re going to miss a lot of future opportunities.” – Ivan Misner, Founder of BNI, Business Network International

Learn about the people you connect with. What are their hobbies or interests? What are their personal goals?

Discover common interests – ways you can relate to one another.

Focus on what you can do for them. Introduce them to people they need to know – BE a CONNECTOR.

Connectors are influencers – whatever you put out into the world you will receive back.

Invite clients to be a part of your circle or community by inviting them to lunch or business mixers. Mail handwritten notes of gratitude or warm letters letting them know what you have been up to. Invite them to educational workshops. Email or send them an article that might be of interest to them.

I remember listening to Sandra Yancey, the Founder of eWomen Network share that when she was a little girl her mother told her to remember, “Give without remembering and take without forgetting.”

We need to find time to connect in our busy schedules. When we do connect – we need to actively listen and be present in the conversation.

Truly listen…

Hold back from jumping into the conversation before the other person stops speaking. It’s okay to wait for a pause. Think and then talk.

When I was in my coach training, we had an acronym – W.A.I.T. – Why Am I Talking?

Listen – you will learn so much more!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time 9:28 min

3 Ways to Establish Boundaries in Business

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Sometimes the term “boundary” receives a negative connotation due to a meaning a limit and restriction. Boundaries are necessary in business in order to be more effective and productive with their time, money, and resources. Business owners often think that potential and current customers will be read held by a company or organization that has boundaries; however, this is not true.

“Time is the most valuable coin in your life. You and you alone will determine how that coin will be spent. Be careful that you do not let other people spend it for you.”
― Carl Sandburg

Here are three ways that you can get started by establishing boundaries in your business:

Set office hours. An open door policy is great but it can also take up a lot of time when conversations are more social rather than about business. Connecting with people is important however consider having a time limit on the social aspect and focus on the business at hand. For anyone working from home, boundaries are important because many people who see you working at home think that you are either not working or have the flexibility to change her schedule at a moment’s notice. Even though you may have the flexibility, you don’t want to fall into the habit of changing up your schedule. You need to stay committed to the time that you block off for yourself and the people you serve. This time blocking technique can also be used to the time set aside for spending time with family and friends and exercise.

Boundaries to consider:

  • Are there any days you block off as days of rest?
  • When do you check and respond to emails?
  • Do you check voicemail messages and answer them on the weekend?

Business is business. Friendship is friendship. You have grown your business to where it is now. You put in long hours may have spent a lot of money and time on training and suddenly people want to start picking your brain and they’re asking for extras. I learned a long time ago that this devalues a person’s worth. Even though you want to help a friend, you do need to set boundaries. You’re in business to make money and not to give away your content and knowledge for free. Chances are the other person will not be sharing or providing their service or product for free. There has to be a win-win otherwise people will take advantage of you. There are ways to create a win-win through volunteering or trading services. It is up to you what you want to share and help with. Remember your worth and value in the marketplace. Teach people how to treat you and when you’re in business you are there to serve but also to make money otherwise is just a hobby.

“The most important distinction anyone can ever make in their life is between who they are as an individual and their connection with others.”
― Anné Linden, Boundaries in Human Relationships: How to Be Separate and Connected

Boundaries to consider:

  • Is sharing your knowledge creating a win-win situation?
  • Are you in business to make money or is it a hobby?
  • Have you set clear expectations between friendship and business?

Learn to say no. You need to set clear expectations about what you are willing and able to do in your business versus what you can do. Just because you have a skill set that doesn’t mean you should be doing it all. Delegation is a key strength to increasing productivity and boosting performance in business. Not only are you saying no to things that you need to stop doing, you are also saying no to activities and tasks that do not utilize your strengths. Focusing on your strengths improve your business.

“if you want to live an authentic, meaningful life, you need to master the art of disappointing and upsetting others, hurting feelings, and living with the reality that some people just won’t like you. It may not be easy, but it’s essential if you want your life to reflect your deepest desires, values, and needs.”
― Cheryl Richardson, The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Transform Your Life One Month at a Time

Boundaries to consider:

  • Is there anything in your business you need to stop doing or delegate?
  • Are there any clients that are not the right fit for your business that you need to let go of?
  • What activities and have are you willing and able to do to best serve your customers or clients?

Setting boundaries not only teaches people how to treat you. Boundaries help you establish guidelines for yourself for what you are willing to do and what you’re not willing to do. Therefore you’re not compromising your core values. The clearer you are on who you are and what your company represents, the more respect you earn.

Although this seems a bit stringent, you will find that more people will actually be attracted to your business and find it more appealing because you offer structure, you have rules in which everyone will be treated the same, you abide by core values, and you are professional and respectful in your approach.

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

What Are You Waiting For?

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My role as a speaker, author, and business, executive and entrepreneurial coach is to help people really get clear on the direction that they want to go. Often, they are faced with a challenge in their immediate time frame. They are trying to figure out ways to move forward to and move through to breakthrough. So many times I find people are waiting. Waiting for opportunities to be brought to them on a silver platter!

Well, sometimes you need to go out there and create your opportunities. You need to start sharing what it is you want to go after.  There are people along the way who are willing to help you but if you are not willing to share what it is you are after – how do these people know how to help you?

The other thing is being very focused on what it is you want to achieve. What are things you need to do and be- to get there? How do you need to show up? Think about those things – waiting does not get you anywhere.

By taking persistent action and moving forward toward your goal, you create something to look forward to. The thrill of anticipation will be your motivator. Think about how things could work for you to move forward. Whether it is something in your life that you know there is one thing – that if you did this one thing it would change everything. It would create a shift whether it be in your family life, your personal life or in your business. How do you need to be to make things happen?

The question is “Why Wait?”. Create your opportunities and make the shift inside yourself. Become more aware of the opportunities already around you. There are probably many around you right now and the door is open.

But if you wait too long the door is going to close.

So take the opportunities and grab your silver platter. Make your day happen by creating those opportunities for yourself.

Why wait?

What opportunities are you creating for yourself?

 

 

7 Reasons Entrepreneurs are More Resilient

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?????????????????????????????????????????   I remember when I was first introduced to a networking meeting with entrepreneurs. The room was buzzing and people were laughing and sharing different ideas. I thought I was in a totally different world. People had such a different mindset than the employees I had been around. Entrepreneurs seems to have such control over their destiny or circumstance. I needed to be a part of it. The energy was contagious!

I have learned that being an entrepreneur is both an art and a science and that not everyone is cut out for the job. There have been several moments when I felt exhausted from trying to get ahead with my business that I just wanted to quit. How can you quit when you may be 3 feet from gold? Instead, I studied successful entrepreneurs. I learned that there are 7 main reasons that entrepreneurs are more resilient.

Entrepreneurs are resourceful and are willing to ask for help.

Many entrepreneurs’ passions have been mapped out on the back of a napkin. They have a vision and a dream. Even though they might not have the “know how” at the moment, they are willing to learn or figure it out. The motivation is the quest of making the impossible- possible. They learn quickly to tap into their network of people and ask for help.

Entrepreneurs see setbacks as temporary and a lesson worth learning.

Every mistake, failure, or setback is an opportunity to learn what not to do and how you may readjust. Instead of playing the victim, entrepreneurs have learned to silence the inner critic telling them they cannot go after their dreams or change the message that they hear to ones of empowerment and encouragement.

Entrepreneurs actively build their network and make connections.Fotolia_33434057_XS

The resilience of the entrepreneur is evident even in the most challenging economic times. The businesses that survive are the ones who have set themselves apart from their competition, share resources and freely offer referrals, and have an abundance mindset. Entrepreneurs help others achieve their dreams.

Entrepreneurs invest in themselves. Many entrepreneurs have eliminated the hypnotic television shows and opted for reading industry articles, books, and magazine. They play educational or motivational programs in their cars so they can focus on their end game. Entrepreneurs know that if they do not have the knowledge, skills, or abilities that they can outsource or jump in and learn it themselves. They strive to reach their personal best through teleseminars, webinars, conferences, or books. They readily invest in a coach or find a mentor to accelerate the business growth.

Entrepreneurs strive for progress over perfection.

Some entrepreneurs get caught up with procrastination and perfection. Deep down, they all know that in order to put food on the table for their families that progress is more important than making everything perfect. Entrepreneurs tend to be more decisive – as time is money. The more you wait, the less you will make.

Entrepreneurs are grateful.

The mindset of an entrepreneur is focused on gratitude because entrepreneurs know that their business cannot excel without the help of others people. The success you are experiencing today is because of the people who have helped you along the way.

Entrepreneurs are innovative and creative.

With the speed of technology and the changing market, it is important for entrepreneurs to be on top of the latest and greatest information, products, and services for their customers. They take risks and brainstorm new ideas. They discover better ways to get things done. An entrepreneur’s character can be defined as resilient. You may even spot one a mile away. They have an air of confidence that no matter what happens they are prepared and ready to make a decision, plan it out, and take action. Hats off to all the entrepreneurs!