appreciative inquiry Archives

EPISODE 276 – Discover How to Live Life in Appreciation with Jackie Kelm

October 31, 2020 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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#appreciativeliving #appreciativeinquiry #gratitude

Debra Kasowski is the charismatic podcast host of The Millionaire Woman Show, 3X Best Selling Author, Speaker, and Certified Executive Coach. She interviews incredible speakers, authors, CEO, Business, and Organizational Leaders and drops solo episodes with tips, strategies, and techniques for your success.

In this video, Debra Kasowski talks with Jackie Kelm about how people can tap into the power of appreciation and positivity to live their best life see the possibilities around them on The Millionaire Woman Show.

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How Successful Businesses and Organizations Avoid Common Pitfalls

September 18, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

When people feel pressured by the economic times, they are often doing more with less. They can fall into common pitfalls that can be avoided. They have a number of issues and concerns that absorb the majority of their time and because of they are multi-tasking many important things some things that need to be dealt with getting pushed aside and lead to larger problems later on, such as dealing with conflict or tracking results. They tend to be short on time and feel that they have limited resources and because of this they become short-sighted and only think short term. They fail to recognize that everything that they need is within their reach.

You might think that this is a big claim; however, by using a positive approach to change called Appreciative Inquiry businesses and organizations can get more creative in how they approach uncertainty and the change process. Appreciative Inquiry gives businesses and organizations the permission to dream and design an ideal future by tapping into their greatest resource – their people.

People come from all walks of life carrying with them different levels of knowledge, skills, abilities, and experiences. Imagine what would happen if you tap the into the best experiences and the richness of a person’s story and learn their strengths what that could do for your business or organization. Appreciative Inquiry uses a method of applying what people appreciate and from this, we can discover ways in which we can build it into our current existence and work toward the preferred future.

The process creates a vision for people to believe in and they will have a vested interest in helping your business or organization grow and achieve its goals. This approach gives people an opportunity to participate and engage in a whole new way. This is an opportunity for all levels of an organization to work together and learn together in pursuit of a common vision. Individuals want to believe they can be part of something so much bigger than their current everyday workload. Even though people are working with potentially fewer resources, appreciative inquiry gives them the opportunity to be creative and innovative with a new approach.

We can learn so much by asking positive questions. If people start to vent because they’ve had a poor experience, there is a lesson to be found. They obviously have the vision of what would be the preferred experience. By learning from this experience, and a new way of doing things can be discovered. Skeptics of appreciative inquiry may believe that because we are not focused on the weaknesses and threats facing businesses and organizations that we cannot achieve the greatness of our vision. However, as in positive psychology, you tend to get more of what you focus on. If your focus is on strengths, opportunities, aspirations, and results you will be much further ahead because that’s what you will be focused on.

Business and organizational leaders will learn that they don’t have to do everything by themselves and that their people can be trusted to carry through on the vision with their knowledge, skills, abilities, and most of all experiences. They don’t need to do everything by themselves and be the Lone Ranger. They can delegate to people who are skilled and have the expertise to carry through on projects. It is important for business and organizational leaders to have an understanding of how to do something but it does not mean they need to do it. They spend their time being the employee or the technician they are working in the business or organization versus on it and this will limit their growth. They need to be spending their time where their talents and efforts need to be placed in order for things to grow.

Take time to ask yourself what you appreciate. What are some of your best experiences? How can you learn from them? How would this help you avoid some of the common pitfalls that you catch yourself falling into? If someone gave you the permission to dream, what would you ask for?

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

How to Become an Effective Leader by Building Resiliency

August 15, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

You don’t have to go far to learn about some of the challenges people are facing in their businesses and organizations. You just have to turn on the news or look around you. There appears to be a great strain on society today being so busy that they are unable to find equilibrium. People are asked to do more with less. People look busy running from one activity to the next but are they productive? Are they meeting their deadlines or quotas?

The one constant in everyone’s life is change. We are all faced with changes and challenges on a day-to-day basis. One of the greatest challenges that leaders within organizations face is being able to keep up with their workloads while putting out fires that seem to arise. They are taken away from some of their critical work to focus intently on performance issues. Managing people and working with people can sometimes be draining especially when you’re faced with resistance and lack of awareness. Sometimes it feels like no matter how much effort you put into something that you are unable to achieve what you hope to. At times this can be disheartening for a leader to lead because they may lose sight of their focus and the meaning of the work that they were driven to do. Don’t give in and don’t give up! Adapt!

“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Effective leaders become resilient through self-reflection and an increased self-awareness. Not only are the intellectual but they are emotionally intelligent. Resilience is the characteristic of being able to bounce back in the face of loss or failure. A resilient leader does not play victim to their circumstance. They shift into the mindset of a learner and so can you.

Everything is not in your control so don’t take things personally. Sometimes things in life occur that we do not expect and planning and preparation could not prevent them from occurring. Know that many things occur that are not in your control and it’s not your fault. You can only take ownership of things that you can do something about.

Resilient leaders know that it’s important to continue developing personally and professionally in order to embrace change and challenges. When people face a crisis or cutbacks, one of the first areas that seem to be eliminated is that of personal and professional development. This is a grave mistake as when people are learning and growing they are inspired and can cultivate new ideas and solutions to the challenges that they face. Never stop learning!

A resilient leader knows that it’s imperative to celebrate success even in the midst of a challenge. There is an opportunity to learn from success just as much as failure. Examine steps, processes, and strategies that help you develop success; they can be your greatest tools in helping you navigate some of your roadblocks.

Many of the greatest leaders have demonstrated that it’s important to take the time to recharge and rejuvenate in order to become a resilient leader in bounce back from trying situations. Meditation, prayer, and journaling are just some of the rituals that some of these leaders use to gain clarity on some of the significant situations that they face and eliminate the distractions from seeing clearly. Other leaders enjoy going for a walk in nature or a run to clear their mind.

Resilient leaders know that it is important to focus on the type of climate they want to create. They imagine the possibilities and articulate a new vision for the future. They pay attention to the words they use and ensure that they are creating a positive future – a future that taps into the strengths of the people who follow them. They know that open communication is the key to leading the way.

An effective leader knows that they do not have all the answers to every situation that they have the ability to tap into the strengths, opinions, and best experiences of their people. They draw on these perspectives and engage their people in coming up with new ideas in helping provide a solution to the challenges they face. By engaging their people, they know that the people will be intrinsically motivated to move toward a shared vision.

The resilient leader is someone who has been able to develop the skill of managing their own emotions and recover quickly. There are many characteristics and styles of leadership; however, emotional intelligence is a skill that is a must in building resilience.

“Shift your attention, and your emotion shifts. Shift your emotion, and your attention shifts.”
― Frederick Dodson

Optimism helps effective leaders maintain focus on their vision even when faced with setbacks. They choose to look for “what is good or right” about a situation. They know that wherever your intention goes your attention follows. They look on the bright side of every situation looking for the opportunity to learn and grow so that they may become more effective.

Leaders know that it’s important to build and nurture a network of relationships before you need them. When you are in crisis or faced with the challenge, you need to have that support immediately and if you don’t have it is more challenging to get through the tough times. When you build relationships, people are quick to reciprocate and support each other lessening the challenges.

Bouncing back to become the leader you want to be involves remembering your “WHY”. Why do you do the work that you do? Rediscover and connect with what she once was passionate about. See the importance in the work that you do. Your efforts do not go unnoticed although at the time it sometimes feels like it. Know that you are making an impact in this world even if you don’t receive immediate feedback. There will be a tipping point in which your efforts will have compounded and made the biggest difference. Bounce back and be strong – people are looking for a leader like you.

EPISODE 17: Harness the Power of Momentum

August 11, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Episode 17 – Harness the Power of Momentum

There are no limits to what you can achieve if you stay focused on what you are trying to achieve. You need to believe the impossible is possible for you. Your results may be better than you expect. Success has no guarantees; each action you take starts creating a momentum. If you stop taking action, you stop the momentum.

“Always work hard. Intensity clarifies. It creates not only momentum, but also the pressure you need to feel either friction, or fulfillment.”

— Marcus Buckingham

During my coaching program, we learned about Creative Tension – It moves us to take action. It helps us get out of our comfort zone and stretch us. Challenge us.

Why do we need it? What does it do?

Momentum helps us:

Push through and overcome obstacles. You may have heard about runners or even swimmer pushing through a certain distance to push forward what they may not have thought possible exclaiming, “What else can I do? What else can I do?” What else is possible for you?
Increase your motivation and confidence in your abilities. It helps you to try new things!

You are responsible for creating it through consistent actions. A rapid succession of successes and lessons drives momentum. Energy increases; it will be natural for others to want to follow you. You will become magnetic. You will start to inspire others around you.

Momentum is ignited when you have a clear vision – you know what you want to achieve, you are able to articulate and share your vision, and you can enroll others in your vision.

Do you want to get more clarity? Read my book GPS Your Best Life

Believe in your ability to make things happen. Your confidence, energy, and enthusiasm with excite others around you.

You are probably thinking to yourself – but how do I create a momentum – especially when times are tough or you are feeling challenged more than you think you can handle.

I want to share with you some of the ways that have worked for me and some of the clients I have worked with.

Challenge yourself – Be committed to continuous learning, stay curious and have a learner mindset. Try new things regularly.
Make a rule to quit complaining, blaming, and stop making excuses. You either get results or excuses.
Reduce your distractions. Declutter your space or your email. Clear whatever is in your way.
Be grateful for what you have; the more you will have to be grateful for.
Celebrate your successes – little things lead to big things! It will drive you to take more action. Breath in and acknowledge the successes before moving on to the next thing.
Deliver value and look for ways to exceed expectations. You will generate excitement in others and they will be grateful and share their experience with you – with others.
Do you least favorite activity first – EAT THAT FROG – Brain Tracy

Everything will move so much quicker with the momentum.

Set Milestones – You create anticipation. You may even meet goals quicker.
Measure your outcomes – what gets measured gets managed.
Fake it until you make it – take the actions you need to get to where you want to go. Who is a leader you admire? How can emulate some of the actions that they have taken to achieve success – do your homework. If you want to be a great leader, start being one now.
Make a plan – Work the plan. Otherwise, you will be chasing butterflies. Do you due diligence and your resources.
Don’t forget to dream – Sometimes when people are too realistic to the bone, it drags people down. Dreams can propel you further rather than looking at your current circumstances.
Follow up with people you have met at events or make inquiries – you will be surprised when you connect with others. They energy rises and people take an interest in what you are doing.

What happens when you stop running on a treadmill or riding a bike?

You stop moving – you fall off.

Worry and doubt can paralyze you from taking forward action. They drain your energy. Challenge yourself – test your theories. Ask questions. Gain knowledge – but don’t stop unless you know you are in danger.

No one is going to jail or getting hurt or killed in the process chances are whatever happens you can course correct.

We all start somewhere. There have been many successful people who did not start with any resources – no network of people, no money, no knowledge, did not know English or a language of the place they settled in. They built it and so can you.

“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.” — Og Mandino

Success is not about how many resources you have; it is about being resourceful and leveraging your resources in the most effective way. Focus on taking action and over time a compound effect with occur. If you are focused only on short-term activities to get immediate results, you will lose momentum quickly especially if you do not set a new target that stretched you.

Your efforts make a difference in how you feel about your progress and what you are going to achieve.

Let your efforts multiply!

Success comes from taking the initiative and following up…persisting…eloquently expressing the depth of your love. What simple action could you take today to produce a new momentum toward success in your life?

— Tony Robbins

You need to continually set new challenges to learn and grow. Acknowledge how far you have come. Reflect on what you can do better and work to improve.

Time: 16:31 min

EPISODE 16: Challenges Make You Stronger

August 9, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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EPISODE 16 – Challenges Make You Stronger

37602986 - female rock climber climbs on a rocky wall Challenges are a part of everyday life. A challenge is something that pushes you out of your comfort zone. It can be something you challenge yourself with such as a goal or it could be something presented to you such as learning something new, getting a handle on finances, acquiring your next client, or seeking a promotion. Some challenges are easier than others. Some challenges knock us down for the count. Think about how many times you get up to face a challenge – that will determine whether or not you will push through it.

If you let the first time you knock you down; you will be paralyzed. I remember the first time someone unsubscribed to my newsletter. I was just devastated because of the one subscription. In that moment, I had forgotten about the hundreds of people who were subscribed. Maybe it was not the right fit for them. What I realize now is that people come into your life for a certain amount of time, a reason or a purpose and some people fade away. Understand that when we face those challenges not to take it so personally and feel defeated. It is about being able to rise up and embrace the challenges and move forward.

It was once said by someone that, “Challenges make you more responsible. Always remember that life without struggle is a life without success. Don’t give up and learn not to quit.”

Challenges make a person more resilient. You recognize your emotions that arise in different situations and how to manage them to become a better communicator or influencer. You become more self-aware of what you want and what you do not want. You develop clarity. You learn from mistakes. Don’t punish yourself. You are growing and stepping into the potential of who you are meant to be.

You can either let a challenge pull you down or you can use it to rise up.

45535742 - woman holding shopping bags at a boutique There was a personal challenge I faced when swimsuit shopping with my daughter. I had sent my daughter to go and purchase herself a swimsuit for a surprise trip. I was unable to go with her. She came home a tossed the bag to me and I did not think anything of it. She did not even show me what it looked like until we were leaving and then I realized that there was a $200 + price tag to this swimsuit. I was like, “What?” I am sorry I do not understand what 16 year old needs a two hundred dollar swimsuit. Anyhow, we ended up going on our trip and did not end up going swimming anyway but I knew a swimsuit you cannot return.

We had come home and we were leaving in a couple more weeks to go on vacation. We ended up going back to the same store where she had purchased the swimsuit. As she was trying on bathing suits, I could feel myself boiling inside even though the staff was wonderful to her. I was thinking to myself, “Why would anyone want in in a suit that makes her so much older that she did not feel energized and excited in?” She did not even feel comfortable in it. We ended up going swimming shortly after our surprise trip and she discovered that the suit did not fit properly.

As I was standing there, I could feel myself boiling inside. It is about being able to recognize those emotions. It was a challenge for me to think about how I was going to manage these emotions. It was my problem. The people in the store do not know what is bothering me. As it was getting close to closing time, the staff was being very patient and had no problem waiting for to finish trying on another suit. We did not end up buying a suit. [We had gone to another store and paid $20 for a swimsuit and going on our vacation. She was youthful, energized, and loved the suit that she had.]

ID-10089448 Meanwhile, I was quite frustrated as I was waiting for my daughter to finish up so I started to talk to the clerk. I proceeded to tell her about how I was feeling and how I was boiling inside. If I felt this energy, I could not imagine how and if they felt it. I began to share the story of what happened when my daughter had come for a swimsuit. The young lady at the till was phenomenal. She said “You should not have had that type of experience that is not how we work here.” She took my information. I informed her that we were leaving the next day on vacation. I told that I would not be able to deal with this right now. She said that it was okay and that she would speak to her manager to see what she could do for me.

She had phoned the very next day explaining that they were going to be doing something for me. I decided while I was on vacation that I would not deal with it until I got home. When I came home I called them, they had offered me a 20% discount. I thought you know it is a swimsuit; they are not going to return it. We already spent $200 in their store for something we were not happy with. She asked me if I was going to pick up the 20% off coupon and I stated, “I am not sure I am going to but thank you very much for your time. We will just take this as a loss.”

Not even 5 minutes later, she had called back. A district manager had heard her talking to me; she had explained that she could not return the bottoms. I stated that I understood based on my healthcare background. If I brought back the top, they would give me a full refund for the cost of the top to purchase anything else in the store. I said that was reasonable and that was something I could handle.

Again I was unable to go with my daughter so I spoke with the young lady that was working with her that I would be unable to be there. My daughter went in and they spent a lot of individualized – personalized attention with her. She came home with a new top to match her bottoms and a racer swimsuit for swimming lengths. She pulled it out and went to try it on to show me right away. She ended up getting two suits in the end.

What impressed me most was the young lady that was working with us. She put in a lot of effort; she was phenomenal. When I speak in front of groups, I talk about this young lady all the time. I went into the store a few days later and I had asked one of the other girls, “Can you tell me who the top person is, that I can talk to in your company? They gave me the President – they gave me all these people. I sent the lengthy e-mail. They are just in the swimsuit industry. They are in the industry of self-esteem, confidence, and help people feeling comfortable in the skin and that they are in.

I find it so powerful to be able to know that you’re doing more than just providing a product – more than a business transaction so I e-mailed a lengthy e-mail. I wanted this individual to be recognized. We were going to recognize her in our own way but we wanted somebody you higher up to realize the potential of this young lady and the difference she was making them from of life. I received an e-mail back from the owner of the company and she had forwarded our e-mail to the whole distribution list of all of their employees to realize that this is what they’re in business for and that they would recognize this young lady and in some way.

My daughter had gone a few days later and handed a little gift to this employee. She was nearly in tears for being recognized for going above and beyond her call of duty. How often do we do that – where we want to go the extra mile for our clients or customers making them feel that they matter?

These challenges that we face make us so much better. They make us so much stronger and we would never realize the impact it can have on other people because what I realized is that if I never speak up when I recognize an emotion that I have, either to clarify something with someone or to express how I’m feeling about a situation, this all would never have happened. When we talk about emotional intelligence, people say, “Oh, that’s the soft stuff!” Even though it is soft, it’s about people and making sure that people matter and how were communicating is a big deal. Think about how you communicate and how some of those challenges have come through communication.

Big Breath! I know that was heavy!

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It really does amaze me how including me, can take things for granted until we are faced with a challenge. I remember completing a triathlon after not putting in a lot of training several years after I had done the course. Holy Man! I was in awe of what I had accomplished that I never credited myself for. The hard work and dedication it took to take on the challenge and to really acknowledge the sacrifices that went with it. Swim, bike, run. I was never a star athlete. I challenged myself to do what I saw other do. If they could do it, so could I.

One of the biggest challenges I see people face is often self-induced through the comparison trap. Comparing our self to others leads to a no win situation. Your intentions end up reflecting a competition and beating someone versus becoming better and being a natural choice. Start turning inward and set challenges for yourself – each day to become a better version of your Self today than you were yesterday. Become a better listener. Become a better employee. Become a better spouse. Become a better parent. Become a better boss. Hone your skills. Fine tune your strengths. The competition is with your Self. Beat your old self – running your own race.

Stop complaining about your circumstances. There are people who are in more delicate situations that you are right now. Some people are wishing they could walk or even run a race. Some people are fighting for their breath. Some people would love to have the job or business you do; due to health issues may not be able to do so.

Quit making excuses about all the reasons success has not happened for you yet. True success – sustainable success takes time and consistency. Are you using your time productively or are you getting sucked into the vortex of social media? Following blue links or just checking to see if someone just someone liked your post.

Stop blaming others for your position in life. You may hear people blaming their parents, spouse, kids, or boss for their position in life or their lack of resources for not being further ahead. You are in charge of you and the decisions that you make.

Who you are… is directly related to the life you have led and the choices you have made. As a child, your parents may have taught you a certain way of doing things. As you became your own person, you started to make your own decisions and choices. You could believe old patterns and beliefs or you could choose your own story of how things played out and how things have yet to be. Others have made choices and passed on their beliefs based on what they believe to be true. Do not be afraid to question, challenge assumptions, or offer a new perspective. You may have heard the story about a young adult preparing a roast after they were newly married. They cut off each end of the roast and placed in the roasting pan. When questioned and the person asked, “Why did you cut the ends off?” They replied that is how we have always done it – my mother did it that way and her mother did it that way.

What are you doing just because others do it that way?

Start viewing your challenges as blessings or opportunities. Write in a journal and start coming up with solutions to your challenges. Choose the story you want to hear and live. Remember your perception and what you believe is your reality. Is it the right belief? Is that what you want to believe?

Stay focused on the positive aspects of what you are trying to achieve. Be a “positive Choose to approach each day – “Today is going to be a great day!” – Speak it into existence. Connect with others and build relationships now – before you need them. If you do not have a support system, start creating one – people you know, like, and trust and who challenge you to become a better version of yourself.

“Handicaps often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.”

C.S. Lewis

Time: 19:34 min