Debra Kasowski, Author at Debra Kasowski

EPISODE 151 – Fears and Failures

February 27, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Remember your dreams and fight for them. You must know what you want from life. There is just one thing that makes your dream become impossible: the fear of failure.”

Paulo Coelho

The achievement of a dream or goal can put a smile on the face of the person who longs for it. The face of satisfaction knowing that you gave your all and you saw the vision even if no one else did. There are people who hold back on taking efforts on their dreams and goals because it seems that achieving it is so far off in the distance. Some might even say they get paralyzed with fear from taking action.

My colleague Audrey and I were working on vision boards and she shared with me that she believes some people do not take action toward their dreams and goals because then the dream is over. They would rather think about than truly live it. To me, these are the “talkers”. They do not take actions; they talk about how when the stars align that they may think about it. Someday…and someday is not actioned on the calendar.

Fear is not uncommon. Many people have fears to different degrees. There are fears of embarrassment, success, failure, rejection, criticism, uncertainty, and death. Most fears evoke worry. Worry is nothing more than wasted energy. It blocks you from being open to ideas and strategies to take action. Emotions run high and imagination runs wild. Rationale thought is not possible. Take a deep breathe. Most of what you allow you imagination to conjure up will not happen. I believe that the reason become fearful is that they feel they have a loss of control.

It is important to ask: “What am I afraid of?

Am I afraid of being rejected? Someone will disapprove of me or my behavior?

Am I afraid to fail? How will I face others?

Am I afraid of being criticized? What will people say about me?

It takes courage to do the uncomfortable. It takes courage to express your feelings. It takes courage to stand tall when people are laughing at you. It takes courage to say, “Who cares! I believe in me!”

You can handle all these things and you are IN control of how you respond or react in any situation.

People will criticize and tell you it can’t be possible. What other people think of you is NONE of your business…so what? Another person’s opinion is dependent on their lens of the world, knowledge, and experience. Most people who criticize have not done what you have done or plan to do. They hide behind their own fears.

A question you can reflect on is: “Why do you need the approval or validation?”

Rejection is one stop on the path to success. You need to keep going until the right timing and the right person align. Until then, practice…you are developing your expertise and letting people know about what you do.

Failure is nothing more than a learning opportunity. If something did not go as well as you hoped, the next question should be, “Now what?”

“What worked?”

“What didn’t work that needs to be stopped?”

“What can I do differently the next time?”

Failure is the best teacher. Leverage it!

You never swam laps the first time you jumped in the water to swim. You may have even swallowed a few mouthfuls of water. You never rode a bike to the playground the first time you got on it. You never rode off into the sunset in your family beater car the first time you pressed the gas.

We all learn…I remember when I first started in business and I was doing an interview with a well-known speaker…I forgot to press play on the recording and had to ask to start the interview again…boy was I embarrassed. She was amazingly gracious.

We get closer to achieving our goals by challenging ourselves and stepping out of our comfort zones. Facing our fears and leaning into our faith in ourselves.

What would it take for you not have the fear?

Do you need to talk to someone who is doing what you want to do? Who do you know who knows someone? Ask who you know.

Do you need to gain more knowledge? The internet is at your finger tips…make sure it is a good source.

Do you need to practice? Put yourself out there. You do not get anywhere hiding at home. Get in front of the mirror, talk to yourself, talk to family and friends – as Nike’s tagline says – “Just Do It!”

Your fears will begin to minimize. The risk of failure will minimize. Keep taking consistent action toward your goals and soon enough your goals will be realized!

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get my just release FREE e-book about the 21 Habits High Achievers Kick to Achieve Success. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com

EPISODE 150 – Progress Over Perfection

February 19, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.”

– Vince Lombardi

I was watching a video in my email from Matthew Kelly about Power of Progress and how we need to see ourselves as works in progress. It fascinates me that when we decidie to take on something that is new to us that we can easily start putting pressure on ourselves to be perfect OR as good as someone who has been working on it for years. Mastery comes from building habits that support our growth. It comes from doing repetitive actions and honing our skills and talents.

Too many people focus on wanting things “just perfect” or done the “right way” they hold back in taking action without ever thinking the right way was how they do things. Let’s think about this…

If you are not impacting someone’s life or that there is a chance you could go to jail, I would say it is pretty safe to take action. For many people taking action equals risk. Without action, you do not make progress. There are ways to minimize risks. Perform your due diligence by doing research and asking questions you have unanswered. This way you are not stuck on waiting for the “HOW” to get things done. Some people feel if they do not have the full instructions on how to get started- they don’t start at all.

Start with the first step…

Focus on the progress you have made thus far. Each step gets you closer than before. You can continue to focus on the details but don’t get caught up in them. When you focus too closely on the details, you fail to see the big picture of how far you have come!

I love how Amy Cuddy refers to “Fake it until you become it.” She had suffered a head injury and told she would have to change direction with her career. The naysayers came out of the woodwork. She stayed focused and put in the hard work and did not give up! Even when you are nervous, keep practicing and putting yourself out there until you become what you want to be.

The awkwardness you feel is not that you are an imposter…

The awkwardness you feel is because you are stepping out of your comfort zone and growing…

Instead of focusing on HOW I do this when I don’t know how…you should be focusing on –

“What do I need to do to become ___________________? (you fill in the blank with what you want to be)

What are the skills and abilities I need to possess to BE that person?

What do I need to DO to show up at that caliber?

What do I need to HAVE in place in order to do what I want to DO?

No one is asking you to be perfect. Embrace your uniqueness. Everything is perfect as it is right now for you to learn what you need to learn and be who you need to be.

You may be saying, but Debra, “Does focusing on progress versus perfection lower your standards?”

My answer is simple…NO!!!

Your expectations and standards are not lowered.

Focusing on your progress helps you:

Celebrate your successes and wins
Build momentum to your next step
Envision the possibilities
Seize opportunities that can advance you toward your goal

Personally, I have been known to have high standards and high expectations. I set them for myself for the goals I want to achieve. I want other people to set their own.

Daily self-reflection provides you with many lessons to learn and grow from as you take each step. Questions for journaling or quiet reflection, although journaling is the best way to flush out your thoughts and ideas, include:

What did I do that went well today? Why?

What will I continue doing?

What is something that did not go as well as I would have like?

How would I have liked that situation or circumstance to go?

What could I do differently in the future?

What habit do I need to start, stop, or continue?

I want you to remember this, “the work in progress is often just as beautiful” – Unknown.

Progress starts with paying attention and focusing on your priorities. It was John Wooden who said, “Don’t mistake activity with achievement.” Progress does not mean you “busy” yourself with tasks and activities. Progress means you are taking intentional actions to get toward your end goal. Perfection is often tied to procrastination. People procrastinate because they want everything to be perfect before they act. They sabotage their opportunity to advance. Notice that no one fears perfection but they fear failure. If you do not have the fear of being perfect you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain because you are farther ahead than if you did nothing.

Stop hiding in the shadows of others…

Start putting yourself out there and BECOME who you want to BE by being perfect just the way you are!

What step are you willing to take to get closer to your goals?

EPISODE 149 – Raise Your Expectations

February 14, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Don’t lower your expectations to meet your performance. Raise your level of performance to meet your expectations. Expect the best of yourself, and then do what is necessary to make it a reality.”
– Ralph Marston

Has anyone ever told you that your standards are too high? You expect too much? I have… what I find is that too many people are lowering their expectations so they don’t disappoint themselves. Guess what? They will be disappointed because they will realize they could have achieved more. Don’t lower your expectations; increase your performance by increasing the actions you need to reach your goals.

You get what you expect of yourself. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t – you’re right.” What you believe is possible for yourself is the effort you will put in. It all starts in the mind. If you believe you can do something and your surround yourself with people who encourage and support you, you are already part way there.

Ralph Lauren said, “A leader has the vision and conviction that a dream can be achieved. He inspires the power and energy to get it done.” You are the leader in your life, your business, and in your organization. When you raise your expectations, increase your performance, so too, do the people around you. They start wanting the results you are reaping. If you don’t increase your performance to meet your expectations, your dream or goal will fade. It will not become a reality. If you no longer have an emotional connection to the goal that motivates and inspires you, it is alright to change things up but it is not okay to settle or resign yourself to your current circumstance if you have the ability to do something about it.

If you want results, you need to take action. Start paying attention to what is influencing the way you think because what you expect you get. Are you letting the seeds of naysayers take root in your mind or do you push what they say aside and say, “Thanks, but no thanks”? You need to shield and focus your thoughts on what you want to achieve. You are the best predictor of your future. What do you believe is possible?

“No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see the possibilities – always see them, for they’re always there.” – Norman Vincent Peale

The possibilities are always there! One of the best questions to ask yourself is,

“What will it take for me to achieve _____________?”

When you maintain a positive attitude and stay open to ideas, strategies, and suggestions, you will figure out the “how”. Too many people stop taking action because they don’t start with the “how”. John F. Kennedy did not know how to put a man on the moon when he made his declaration. Suddenly, the declaration made teams of people start thinking about what is required to achieve such a goal. Martin Luther King Jr. made a declaration in his speech, “I Had a Dream” for all men (and women) to be equal. Imagine if he did not start taking action on his dream. These leaders started with a possibility and worked toward seeing it through.

What is your possibility? What do you expect?

Are you willing to see it through?

3 Ways to Visionary Leaders Can Engage Their Teams in Their Vision

February 9, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Visionary leaders are creatives by nature. You’ll notice that if you are a visionary leader that your mind goes off with ideas like fireworks at the county fair. You can see the vision in your mind, you can feel the excitement of the vision coming together in your body, and you believe it is possible to make your vision a reality. However, not all visionary leaders can get their teams to buy-in to your vision. Have you ever had a leader that had trouble explaining their vision? They can tell you what the final outcome can be but they can’t always explain how to get the destination. Visionary leaders need to engage their teams to fulfill the vision.

Write Out Your Compelling Vision. Get it out of your head and onto paper. You have tons of ideas battling for your attention and focus at any one time. Ideas can be grand but also fleeting so it is important to capture those ideas onto paper as soon as possible. Inking the vision onto paper helps you think about the vision and not miss a detail. Writing out your vision and goals helps you clarify your ideas.

Communicate Your Vision to Your Team. Be descriptive as possible. Remember you can see the vision clearly in your mind. People are not mind readers. Your team all learn in different ways. Some people need to see the vision. Using diagram, images, or models can help describe the vision. Others are auditory so explaining your vision in vivid detail with help them create the picture in their mind. Sensory learners learn by touch and kinesthetic learn by action to reinforce the learning. Most people have a combination of all four. Clearly communicating your vision reveals a roadmap as to where you are heading. It can act as a filter to ensure your team is “paddling” in the same direction versus chasing ideas that are not in aligned with your vision.

“Vision is the art of what is invisible to others.” Jonathan Swift

Engage Your Team by Asking Open-Ended Questions. Discover who the planners and implementers are on your team. These individuals are the ones who can see the vision and know how to make the vision a reality. What do they think about the vision? What would it take to make this vision a reality? What opportunities exist that can be leveraged? Your team members want to be engaged in meaningful and engaging work. What does making this vision a reality do for others? Allow them to be part of your vision and they will be your champions. Ensure that you check in at milestones to celebrate with them and see your vision unfold.

We need visionaries to inspire creative ideas and solutions. Visionaries can struggle from time to time in making the vision become a reality because the can see it in their minds but they have trouble articulating it to others. By writing out the vision, communicating the vision, and engaging your team in the vision, you will gain clarity, new ideas, and buy-in from your team. If any member of your team is paddling in a different direction, you will face resistance and may even head in a different direction should any other team members join them.

Share your compelling vision regularly. Ask questions regularly. Engage the right team members. Ensure they are paddling in the same direction. Lead them to your vision.

EPISODE 148 – Scarcity Creates Abundance

February 6, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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There are some business owners who are wondering why they can’t fill their pipeline and then there are others who are working long hours just to keep up with their client demands. Business runs on supply and demand. When you are providing a service in which you are the one delivering it, it can be taxing. If you are not careful, it can lead to burnout if you are not careful. You only have so many hours in a day. You can not make time. Time is more of a commodity than money. You need to take care of yourself in order to spend time with family and friends and enjoy what matters most!

Start by reflecting on your beliefs about money.

Do you believe you must work hard to make money? If you have the belief you must work hard and have some stress in your life to achieve success, you will burn out sooner than later.

Time to think smarter!

You can raise your prices and decrease your availability. When was the last time you raised your prices? What would it feel like to have more time off? Do you realize it is possible to work less and bring in the same amount of money? You do not have to negotiate your value!

You may be saying to yourself, “Oh no! I am going to lose clients.” With a price increase, you may lose a few clients. Chances are they were not your ideal client. Then there will be other clients who will understand and stay with you due to loyalty. By decreasing your availability to your clients, you can carve out some time to pursue your interests and create a greater sense of balance or harmony in your life. Go to the gym. Take the painting or photography class. Go on vacation. To the outside world, when you have limited availability, the prospects perceive the scarcity as someone who is high demand and high value. They do not think about the investment as much as the opportunity to work with you. This perception can drive more clients to you which creates abundance.

The world is abundant. 7 Billion people. You cannot serve them all. There is enough opportunity for everyone. There is only one YOU! The ONE thing you must ensure is that you continue to provide HIGH value. You will because you have time to focus on the clients you currently have and welcome new clients as your time allows. You are in control.

Sometimes what happens is that people spend so much time prospecting that they do not give their current clients the time and attention they deserve. You can increase your prices, provide great value, and focus on your current clients. You can offer them additional services that they cannot get elsewhere. Those clients who want to continue – will and those who do not, open up new opportunities and space for clients who will pay your increased prices. You are the business owner in charge of your destiny. It does not mean you stop prospecting or marketing your business. What it means is that you, up-leveled the way you do business. Perceived scarcity creates abundance!

Are you ready to make more money and enjoy more time off?