trust Archives - Debra Kasowski

3 Ways to Get People to Open Up to You and Share Their Ideas

January 14, 2020 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Whether you are in the boardroom or having a one on one conversation, building trust and rapport is key in getting someone to open up to you and share their ideas and opinions. People will not disclose anything to you if they do not feel safe. Sharing their ideas and opinions makes them vulnerable and open to judgment. Why would someone want to put themselves out there knowing that they would not be listened to or criticized?

You want to be able to create an atmosphere where people feel safe brainstorming, sharing ideas, and exploring opportunities. When you can do this, you can have deeper more meaningful conversations. You can establish buy-in in the direction you are heading. You can mitigate risks than you may not have seen coming. You will welcome more engagement and participation in strategic planning and meetings. Now, how do you do it?

Pay Attention to How You Say Things

The way you communicate speaks volumes, particularly in your body language. Body language accounts for 55 percent of your communication, followed by 38 percent tone of voice, and 7 percent words. When someone shares an idea or offers an opinion you do not agree with or have reservations about, do you catch yourself rolling your eyes? Cross your arms or legs? Eye rolling discounts what the other person is saying. Basically saying, “Whatever, like that’s going to work?” Crossing your arms or legs creates a barrier and can be a sign of defensiveness. Keep your eyes engaged with the person sharing ideas. Be observant. Look at their body language as they share and listen to their tone of voice. If you want people to open up to you, you need to be open. Lean in, maintain eye contact (not a stare down), and truly listen.

Put the Agenda Aside and Ask Open Ended Questions

Asking open ended questions to gather a person’s point of view can make person feel important and what they have to say matters – because it does. When you come in with an agenda, people can sense that whatever they say will be disregarded. They know if you have a hidden agenda. Face it we all have agendas. If you want to build trust and openness, you need to put the agenda aside and be open – even if you may not like the answers. You may get feedback that can change your approach to a situation. Put people in the driver’s seat and ask questions like: “If you owned this company and it was your money, what action would you take to get the greatest return on investment?” Or, “I would really like your input on something, what do you think…”.

Be Willing to Be Teachable and Coachable

As a leader, people may suspect you know all the answers. You know you cannot have all the answers; however, you do know how to build a team and gather resources to find the answers. If you do not know the answer say so, do not fake knowing the answer. Humbly admit it and be willing to learn. Ask individuals tell you more about how something works or their next steps. You can gain an understanding of what they are thinking and the actions they are planning to take. You can ask thoughtful questions that offer a different point of view, challenge assumptions, and affirm the direction a person is heading. Admitting to not know everything and being willing to learn or be coached builds trust. This admission makes you relatable and on an equal playing field.

Make a commitment to yourself that you are going to carve out time in your busy schedule to walk around and learn about the people you work in partnership with. Productivity increases when people are doing work that they feel makes a difference. Why not show them that they matter by communicating openly, asking thought-provoking questions, and being open to hearing the responses and engaging meaningful conversation. People will begin to open up and share when they feel when you do not come with a hidden agenda and they feel safe and free from judgment and criticism.

Debra Kasowski, the charismatic host of the thought-provoking podcast, The Millionaire Woman Show, is committed to enriching the leadership potential of her countless clients, essentially guiding them to go within to capitalize on their true personal power, so they can achieve the measurable success they desire in business, and in life. After graduating with distinction, having earned a Bachelor of Science in Nursing, this award winning, three-time bestselling author, speaker and Certified Executive Coach spent many years as a clinical manager exceling in leadership development, before founding Debra Kasowski International, a world-class training and consulting venture focused on helping aspiring business owners and solopreneurs develop the winning “success habits” that transform human potential into sustainable profits.
Clearly, if you’re motivated to move beyond the mediocre, inspired to forge on to the forefront with a proven plan of action, there’s no doubt that the indomitable Debra Kasowski is your solution.www.debrakasowski.com

EPISODE 207 – The Power to Build Trust

June 28, 2019 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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#trust #credibility #testimonials Go to www.debrakasowski.com for your FREE e-book 21 Habits High-Achievers Kick download when you sign up for our Success Secrets Newsletter. In this video, Debra Kasowski discusses how you have the power to build trust in your interpersonal relationships on The Millionaire Woman Show.

Episode 88 – Building Trust Within a Team

April 18, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Trust is the glue that holds people together and is the lubricant that keeps an organization moving forward.” Colin Powell

There are a variety of definitions of trust in the dictionary. What it basically comes down to is the belief that you are confident and feel assured in a situation or with a person. A sense of security – saying “I’ve got your back.”

Trust within a team starts with the leader. As a leader, you must lead by example. To develop a high performing team there MUST be trust amongst the members of the team. Trust is the foundation of any winning team. It creates an environment where team members can share their thoughts and concerns even if they challenge the thoughts of the leader or other team members. A diversity of ideas and opinions can be a benefit to achieve results as different perspectives are considered. When there is trust, a team collaborates, cooperates, and works toward a common goal.
When new teams are formed or new members join a team, it is easy to believe that team member should trust each other by default. This belief is not always the case. You need to remember that team members come to a team with past knowledge, experience, skills, and abilities. It can be hard for a person trust new team members when they have had their trust betrayed. Individuals who mistrust may have experienced a traumatic event, had teammates that did not follow through on commitments or had been disappointed because a team member did not live up to their standards.

“Trust is the glue of life. It’s an essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” – Stephen Covey

Open communication is imperative. Patrick Lencioni addresses the absence of trust as one of the dysfunctions of a team. To build trust within a team, you must seek to understand the perceptions, assumptions, and opinions of your members. Be curious like a learner. Set aside any judgments, assumptions, or bias you have as they may cloud or discoveries. Team members should begin with the main assumption that each person comes to a team with the positive intention to do good work. There is a common trust we assume that people will not steal from or damage the place in which they work. Lencioni discusses “vulnerability-based” trust is his book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team. Vulnerability-based trust is when you feel that you can share your strengths and forthcomings with a team, take a risk, ask for help, or make mistakes. When you are in a team that is built on this kind of trust, you create a circle of safety to which people belong and feel comfortable to share your ideas and concerns.

Establishing ground rules and having an open discussion about what trust means to each team member and as a group is beneficial. Ground rules like no blaming, complaining, or finger pointing help members take personal accountability, and no gossiping about others help to ensure cliques do not form. Encourage team building exercises that help people get to know each other as people not only as a colleague in their role. Ensure that team member are clear about their roles and expectations and that when leaving a meeting that they know what they have committed to doing. Create milestones where you can touch base with one another to ensure everyone is on task. If there is a breakdown in trust or conflict, it should be addressed as soon as possible. Putting aside these conversations because they are uncomfortable could lead to a crisis that could have been averted. Deal with trust issues and conflict as soon as they arise to keep your foundation strong.

You have a personal team which includes your: doctor, dentist, eye doctor, hairstylist, banker, accountant, mortgage broker, realtor, etc. You need to have trust in them to take care of you for you to look, feel, and perform at your best.

High performing teams are built on trust. What does trust look like to you? How much do you know about your team members as a person? How are these individual like you? What core values do you share? What is their “Why” for doing what they do? During this process, you may learn that we are more alike than different.

“When you’re surrounded by people who share a passionate commitment around a common purpose, anything is possible.” – HOWARD SCHULTZ

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time: 11:18 min

EPISODE 17: Harness the Power of Momentum

August 11, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Episode 17 – Harness the Power of Momentum

There are no limits to what you can achieve if you stay focused on what you are trying to achieve. You need to believe the impossible is possible for you. Your results may be better than you expect. Success has no guarantees; each action you take starts creating a momentum. If you stop taking action, you stop the momentum.

“Always work hard. Intensity clarifies. It creates not only momentum, but also the pressure you need to feel either friction, or fulfillment.”

— Marcus Buckingham

During my coaching program, we learned about Creative Tension – It moves us to take action. It helps us get out of our comfort zone and stretch us. Challenge us.

Why do we need it? What does it do?

Momentum helps us:

Push through and overcome obstacles. You may have heard about runners or even swimmer pushing through a certain distance to push forward what they may not have thought possible exclaiming, “What else can I do? What else can I do?” What else is possible for you?
Increase your motivation and confidence in your abilities. It helps you to try new things!

You are responsible for creating it through consistent actions. A rapid succession of successes and lessons drives momentum. Energy increases; it will be natural for others to want to follow you. You will become magnetic. You will start to inspire others around you.

Momentum is ignited when you have a clear vision – you know what you want to achieve, you are able to articulate and share your vision, and you can enroll others in your vision.

Do you want to get more clarity? Read my book GPS Your Best Life

Believe in your ability to make things happen. Your confidence, energy, and enthusiasm with excite others around you.

You are probably thinking to yourself – but how do I create a momentum – especially when times are tough or you are feeling challenged more than you think you can handle.

I want to share with you some of the ways that have worked for me and some of the clients I have worked with.

Challenge yourself – Be committed to continuous learning, stay curious and have a learner mindset. Try new things regularly.
Make a rule to quit complaining, blaming, and stop making excuses. You either get results or excuses.
Reduce your distractions. Declutter your space or your email. Clear whatever is in your way.
Be grateful for what you have; the more you will have to be grateful for.
Celebrate your successes – little things lead to big things! It will drive you to take more action. Breath in and acknowledge the successes before moving on to the next thing.
Deliver value and look for ways to exceed expectations. You will generate excitement in others and they will be grateful and share their experience with you – with others.
Do you least favorite activity first – EAT THAT FROG – Brain Tracy

Everything will move so much quicker with the momentum.

Set Milestones – You create anticipation. You may even meet goals quicker.
Measure your outcomes – what gets measured gets managed.
Fake it until you make it – take the actions you need to get to where you want to go. Who is a leader you admire? How can emulate some of the actions that they have taken to achieve success – do your homework. If you want to be a great leader, start being one now.
Make a plan – Work the plan. Otherwise, you will be chasing butterflies. Do you due diligence and your resources.
Don’t forget to dream – Sometimes when people are too realistic to the bone, it drags people down. Dreams can propel you further rather than looking at your current circumstances.
Follow up with people you have met at events or make inquiries – you will be surprised when you connect with others. They energy rises and people take an interest in what you are doing.

What happens when you stop running on a treadmill or riding a bike?

You stop moving – you fall off.

Worry and doubt can paralyze you from taking forward action. They drain your energy. Challenge yourself – test your theories. Ask questions. Gain knowledge – but don’t stop unless you know you are in danger.

No one is going to jail or getting hurt or killed in the process chances are whatever happens you can course correct.

We all start somewhere. There have been many successful people who did not start with any resources – no network of people, no money, no knowledge, did not know English or a language of the place they settled in. They built it and so can you.

“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.” — Og Mandino

Success is not about how many resources you have; it is about being resourceful and leveraging your resources in the most effective way. Focus on taking action and over time a compound effect with occur. If you are focused only on short-term activities to get immediate results, you will lose momentum quickly especially if you do not set a new target that stretched you.

Your efforts make a difference in how you feel about your progress and what you are going to achieve.

Let your efforts multiply!

Success comes from taking the initiative and following up…persisting…eloquently expressing the depth of your love. What simple action could you take today to produce a new momentum toward success in your life?

— Tony Robbins

You need to continually set new challenges to learn and grow. Acknowledge how far you have come. Reflect on what you can do better and work to improve.

Time: 16:31 min

EPISODE 16: Challenges Make You Stronger

August 9, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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EPISODE 16 – Challenges Make You Stronger

37602986 - female rock climber climbs on a rocky wall Challenges are a part of everyday life. A challenge is something that pushes you out of your comfort zone. It can be something you challenge yourself with such as a goal or it could be something presented to you such as learning something new, getting a handle on finances, acquiring your next client, or seeking a promotion. Some challenges are easier than others. Some challenges knock us down for the count. Think about how many times you get up to face a challenge – that will determine whether or not you will push through it.

If you let the first time you knock you down; you will be paralyzed. I remember the first time someone unsubscribed to my newsletter. I was just devastated because of the one subscription. In that moment, I had forgotten about the hundreds of people who were subscribed. Maybe it was not the right fit for them. What I realize now is that people come into your life for a certain amount of time, a reason or a purpose and some people fade away. Understand that when we face those challenges not to take it so personally and feel defeated. It is about being able to rise up and embrace the challenges and move forward.

It was once said by someone that, “Challenges make you more responsible. Always remember that life without struggle is a life without success. Don’t give up and learn not to quit.”

Challenges make a person more resilient. You recognize your emotions that arise in different situations and how to manage them to become a better communicator or influencer. You become more self-aware of what you want and what you do not want. You develop clarity. You learn from mistakes. Don’t punish yourself. You are growing and stepping into the potential of who you are meant to be.

You can either let a challenge pull you down or you can use it to rise up.

45535742 - woman holding shopping bags at a boutique There was a personal challenge I faced when swimsuit shopping with my daughter. I had sent my daughter to go and purchase herself a swimsuit for a surprise trip. I was unable to go with her. She came home a tossed the bag to me and I did not think anything of it. She did not even show me what it looked like until we were leaving and then I realized that there was a $200 + price tag to this swimsuit. I was like, “What?” I am sorry I do not understand what 16 year old needs a two hundred dollar swimsuit. Anyhow, we ended up going on our trip and did not end up going swimming anyway but I knew a swimsuit you cannot return.

We had come home and we were leaving in a couple more weeks to go on vacation. We ended up going back to the same store where she had purchased the swimsuit. As she was trying on bathing suits, I could feel myself boiling inside even though the staff was wonderful to her. I was thinking to myself, “Why would anyone want in in a suit that makes her so much older that she did not feel energized and excited in?” She did not even feel comfortable in it. We ended up going swimming shortly after our surprise trip and she discovered that the suit did not fit properly.

As I was standing there, I could feel myself boiling inside. It is about being able to recognize those emotions. It was a challenge for me to think about how I was going to manage these emotions. It was my problem. The people in the store do not know what is bothering me. As it was getting close to closing time, the staff was being very patient and had no problem waiting for to finish trying on another suit. We did not end up buying a suit. [We had gone to another store and paid $20 for a swimsuit and going on our vacation. She was youthful, energized, and loved the suit that she had.]

ID-10089448 Meanwhile, I was quite frustrated as I was waiting for my daughter to finish up so I started to talk to the clerk. I proceeded to tell her about how I was feeling and how I was boiling inside. If I felt this energy, I could not imagine how and if they felt it. I began to share the story of what happened when my daughter had come for a swimsuit. The young lady at the till was phenomenal. She said “You should not have had that type of experience that is not how we work here.” She took my information. I informed her that we were leaving the next day on vacation. I told that I would not be able to deal with this right now. She said that it was okay and that she would speak to her manager to see what she could do for me.

She had phoned the very next day explaining that they were going to be doing something for me. I decided while I was on vacation that I would not deal with it until I got home. When I came home I called them, they had offered me a 20% discount. I thought you know it is a swimsuit; they are not going to return it. We already spent $200 in their store for something we were not happy with. She asked me if I was going to pick up the 20% off coupon and I stated, “I am not sure I am going to but thank you very much for your time. We will just take this as a loss.”

Not even 5 minutes later, she had called back. A district manager had heard her talking to me; she had explained that she could not return the bottoms. I stated that I understood based on my healthcare background. If I brought back the top, they would give me a full refund for the cost of the top to purchase anything else in the store. I said that was reasonable and that was something I could handle.

Again I was unable to go with my daughter so I spoke with the young lady that was working with her that I would be unable to be there. My daughter went in and they spent a lot of individualized – personalized attention with her. She came home with a new top to match her bottoms and a racer swimsuit for swimming lengths. She pulled it out and went to try it on to show me right away. She ended up getting two suits in the end.

What impressed me most was the young lady that was working with us. She put in a lot of effort; she was phenomenal. When I speak in front of groups, I talk about this young lady all the time. I went into the store a few days later and I had asked one of the other girls, “Can you tell me who the top person is, that I can talk to in your company? They gave me the President – they gave me all these people. I sent the lengthy e-mail. They are just in the swimsuit industry. They are in the industry of self-esteem, confidence, and help people feeling comfortable in the skin and that they are in.

I find it so powerful to be able to know that you’re doing more than just providing a product – more than a business transaction so I e-mailed a lengthy e-mail. I wanted this individual to be recognized. We were going to recognize her in our own way but we wanted somebody you higher up to realize the potential of this young lady and the difference she was making them from of life. I received an e-mail back from the owner of the company and she had forwarded our e-mail to the whole distribution list of all of their employees to realize that this is what they’re in business for and that they would recognize this young lady and in some way.

My daughter had gone a few days later and handed a little gift to this employee. She was nearly in tears for being recognized for going above and beyond her call of duty. How often do we do that – where we want to go the extra mile for our clients or customers making them feel that they matter?

These challenges that we face make us so much better. They make us so much stronger and we would never realize the impact it can have on other people because what I realized is that if I never speak up when I recognize an emotion that I have, either to clarify something with someone or to express how I’m feeling about a situation, this all would never have happened. When we talk about emotional intelligence, people say, “Oh, that’s the soft stuff!” Even though it is soft, it’s about people and making sure that people matter and how were communicating is a big deal. Think about how you communicate and how some of those challenges have come through communication.

Big Breath! I know that was heavy!

SPONSOR – LET’S BE CURIOUS! www.letsbecurious.ca

It really does amaze me how including me, can take things for granted until we are faced with a challenge. I remember completing a triathlon after not putting in a lot of training several years after I had done the course. Holy Man! I was in awe of what I had accomplished that I never credited myself for. The hard work and dedication it took to take on the challenge and to really acknowledge the sacrifices that went with it. Swim, bike, run. I was never a star athlete. I challenged myself to do what I saw other do. If they could do it, so could I.

One of the biggest challenges I see people face is often self-induced through the comparison trap. Comparing our self to others leads to a no win situation. Your intentions end up reflecting a competition and beating someone versus becoming better and being a natural choice. Start turning inward and set challenges for yourself – each day to become a better version of your Self today than you were yesterday. Become a better listener. Become a better employee. Become a better spouse. Become a better parent. Become a better boss. Hone your skills. Fine tune your strengths. The competition is with your Self. Beat your old self – running your own race.

Stop complaining about your circumstances. There are people who are in more delicate situations that you are right now. Some people are wishing they could walk or even run a race. Some people are fighting for their breath. Some people would love to have the job or business you do; due to health issues may not be able to do so.

Quit making excuses about all the reasons success has not happened for you yet. True success – sustainable success takes time and consistency. Are you using your time productively or are you getting sucked into the vortex of social media? Following blue links or just checking to see if someone just someone liked your post.

Stop blaming others for your position in life. You may hear people blaming their parents, spouse, kids, or boss for their position in life or their lack of resources for not being further ahead. You are in charge of you and the decisions that you make.

Who you are… is directly related to the life you have led and the choices you have made. As a child, your parents may have taught you a certain way of doing things. As you became your own person, you started to make your own decisions and choices. You could believe old patterns and beliefs or you could choose your own story of how things played out and how things have yet to be. Others have made choices and passed on their beliefs based on what they believe to be true. Do not be afraid to question, challenge assumptions, or offer a new perspective. You may have heard the story about a young adult preparing a roast after they were newly married. They cut off each end of the roast and placed in the roasting pan. When questioned and the person asked, “Why did you cut the ends off?” They replied that is how we have always done it – my mother did it that way and her mother did it that way.

What are you doing just because others do it that way?

Start viewing your challenges as blessings or opportunities. Write in a journal and start coming up with solutions to your challenges. Choose the story you want to hear and live. Remember your perception and what you believe is your reality. Is it the right belief? Is that what you want to believe?

Stay focused on the positive aspects of what you are trying to achieve. Be a “positive Choose to approach each day – “Today is going to be a great day!” – Speak it into existence. Connect with others and build relationships now – before you need them. If you do not have a support system, start creating one – people you know, like, and trust and who challenge you to become a better version of yourself.

“Handicaps often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.”

C.S. Lewis

Time: 19:34 min