responsibility Archives - Debra Kasowski

EPISODE 428 – Reactivity versus Responsibility

June 19, 2023 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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In this podcast, Debra talks about taking 100% responsibility for your life through your thoughts, words, and actions. She challenges you to look at where your reactivity comes from and to step into proactivity. You have the ability to respond to people, places, and events with a take-charge attitude.

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Debra Kasowski is the charismatic podcast host of The Millionaire Woman Show, 3X Best Selling Author, Speaker, and Certified Executive Coach. She interviews incredible speakers, authors, CEO, Business and Organizational Leaders and drops solo episodes with tips, strategies, and techniques for your success.

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EPISODE 418 – Responsibility vs Accountability

April 5, 2023 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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The terms responsibility and accountability are often used interchangeably. In this video, I explain the difference between responsibility and accountability. An individual can be responsible for something and not be held accountable. One is task focused and the other is result focused. Watch the video to learn more. #responsibility #accountability #debrakasowski

Grab a listen to my podcast when you are on moving or relaxing wherever you are! Don’t forget to subscribe to get notified of every video/podcast that is released!

2. SUBSCRIBE to The Millionaire Woman Show podcast on iTunes

EPISODE 206 – Leaders Own It

June 19, 2019 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

leadership #accountability #responsibility #hustle #entrepreneurship #personaldevelopment Go to www.debrakasowski.com for your FREE e-book 21 Habits High-Achievers Kick download when you sign up for our Success Secrets Newsletter. In this video, Debra Kasowski discusses how you can take responsibility and be the leader you need to be on The Millionaire Woman Show.

EPISODE 183 – Difficult Conversation Made Easier

December 4, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKFTfAJlsmw[/embedyt]

“difficult conversations are almost never about getting the facts right. They are about conflicting perceptions, interpretations, and values.”
― Douglas Stone, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

Difficult conversations are never easy. These conversations are often hard to talk about and uncomfortable because you never know how another person will react once the conversation gets started. Many people avoid difficult conversations because they do not like conflict. Avoiding conflict and stuffing down your feelings are not healthy responses. If you shift the focus of the conversation from being one of conflict to one of a learning conversation, you may learn something about the situation you did not know and it may shift your perception.

Conversations can get emotionally charged when you are passionate about your subject or you feel attacked. Your feelings matter and their feelings matter. When a person is emotionally charged, they cannot think rationally. They react often from fear rather than respond to situations. For this reason, it is good to allow some time to pass before engaging in a difficult conversation. Defusing anger and frustration allow both parties to think and approach the situation rationally. If emotions are high, chances are no one is listening and important points can be lost. Take some time to do some self-reflection to see how you may have contributed to the situation. I know you are probably saying excuse me? Yes, each party needs to take 100% responsibility for how they have contributed to the conversation. Mistakes can be made – you are human.

One of the first things to realize assumptions and conclusion are made about what was said and felt but was not said and what was actually said. Don’t let your conclusions be your truth. There is your story, their story, and what happened. You can be adamant about what was said or you can come from a place of curiosity and a desire to learn and understand what the person meant to say. What was the impact? Did you take it personally? Acknowledge where a person is coming from, don’t argue. When expressing yourself, use “I feel…” statements, to avoid judgments and accusations. Difficult conversations should not be about blaming others.

Difficult conversations are not about controlling another person’s reaction or forcing them to see your point of view. If you are doing this, you may notice you are not getting the changes you want to see. Change is an inside job. A person must see the need for change in order to think and do things differently. If you anticipate that you may get a reaction, think about how you can prepare for it. Visualize how you can respond to it rather than react to their reaction. Remember, it’s okay to pause the conversation for 5-10 minutes until emotions settle down to reconvene. You do not want to say things you will regret later. It is important to separate people from the problem.

You want to focus on results not the reasons for the conflict. What is the outcome you desire? In my work with Emotional Intelligence, I teach an ‘XYZ’ method. X is “When this happened…” (describe the situation or event), Y is “I felt this…” (express your feelings), and Z is “The result I would like… or “In the future, I would like…” (focus on results/outcomes). This approach removes judgment and accusation and allows you to express yourself versus bottling up your feelings. You are able to communicate your expectations.

Relationships often become stronger when you are both able to express yourselves and your needs. Discuss what matters not who is to blame. Difficult conversations get easier when you are curious and seek to understand what a person is saying and truly listen to what is being said.

What is the lesson you will take away from your last difficult conversation? Will it matter 5-10 years from now? Perceptive is everything.

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get my just release FREE e-book about the 21 Habits High Achievers Kick to Achieve Success. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com

EPISODE 165 – Real Power Real Responsibility

July 2, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5FjzrbfPA8[/embedyt]

“Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences.” – Eckart Tolle

There are times in life, in business, or your career where you feel life is happening to you versus for you. How do you know if you are stuck in one of those times? When you are stuck, you get caught up in assigning blame to others, complain about what’s not going right, and you make excuses for not getting the results that you want. You are viewing the world from a place of lack or scarcity. You have negative self-talk and you catch yourself falling into a negative spiral of emotion. You stop taking actions because you figure there is no point. It can be a tough place to be.

Everything can change when you decide to make a change. The smallest change in making intentional choices in different aspects of your life can make the biggest shifts. If you decide to be more conscious of your spending or food choices or preparation, chances are you will save money and eat out less. If you start to build and nurture relationships, you will be long lasting connections. If you decide to walk among the people you lead and take interest in them, they will take interest in you. It all starts with intention.

When you start to shift your thinking from the belief that other people are responsible for making the change or creating what you want (they owe you – NO RESPONSIBILITY) to realizing you are the one who has the control. Taking responsibility means you are taking control. That’s when the real power comes into play. You have more power than you realize and give yourself credit for. Start giving yourself permission to create a life or business you really want and believe you deserve it!

NO RESPONSIBILITY = NO POWER

REAL RESPONSIBILITY = REAL POWER

If you want to create more success in your life, you need to take 100% responsibility for all you experience. It starts with no complaining, no blaming, or finding excuses for why you are not getting the results you want. It’s easy to celebrate the great things and not so easy to learn from things that did not go as planned – because sometimes it stings. The question you need to ask yourself is, “What could I have done differently to get the results I wanted?” Pay attention to what you are thinking and how you feel. Focus on the actions to get results. It is not someone else’s job to deliver the results you want. You are responsible for everything from your achievements, education, personal relationships, your finances, and your thoughts and feelings. You create your results. You are not responsible for the way others react or respond. You are responsible for you!

Some people would rather avoid responsibility as it adds extra pressure and expectation – and of course, effort. They do not want to put in the hard work required to get the results. When you are focused on the penalties – less TV time, less sports time, less social time, spend some money, and the list goes on, you will not take action. Although sacrifice is temporary, it feels like something is taken away versus helping you get closer to the goal. Time for a reframe. Otherwise, maybe you do not want it as badly as you say you do. When this happens, it is a great time to investigate a bit deeper. You could be trapped in the fear of success. You are probably thinking – “Don’t I want success?” People tend to avoid taking the actions needed or they sabotage themselves because success comes with an increase in responsibility and expectation. They worry about how they will maintain or exceed the results they have achieved. There is a T-shirt saying that says, “Easy doesn’t make you proud.” You are most proud of the moments where you push through limits or adversity.

Start taking responsibility by doing 3 things:

Develop a Growth Mindset – Mistakes and failures are life’s greatest learning opportunities. Learn from them. What are the possibilities? Focus on solutions and you will find them. Focus on problems and you will see obstacles. Learn through trial and error, educate yourself, take a course, develop a new skill, and take on new roles.

Share Your Voice – Quit holding back! Share your observations and opinions. Don’t complain. Come up with and offer suggestions or solutions to improve a situation. People are not mind-readers. When people complain, they often have a view of what they would like to see instead. Encourage them to share their thoughts without judgment. You – included.

Set a Standard for Yourself – Raise the bar by continually challenging yourself to become better. Produce more. Be more efficient. Create more. Listen to podcasts and audiobooks. Read books. Expect more to achieve more.

BONUS TIP: Above all, start taking action. If nothing changes, nothing changes.

“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Don’t sell yourself short. The real power comes when you take 100% responsibility for your results. What can you start doing to take more responsibility in your life? Remember you have three choices: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. What will you choose?