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EPISODE 118 – Condition Your Mind Every Day
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“Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.” Jack Canfield
Every day we are give a choice whether to allow the negativity in the world to influence our own world’s. You have a choice in what you want to allow in your mind. As a child growing up, we were not allowed to have any type of weapon toys or watch any violent shows. I did not understand why as much then as I do now. What we are exposed to influences they way we think and interact with the world.
The reason why some influences are more memorable than others are because of the emotions we attach to an event. Many people remember exactly what they were doing and where they were when 9/11 happened, JFK was shot, and when Princess Dianna was killed. Why? They emotionally connected what they were feeling. We do not remember all the information and facts that we encounter as they are not as significant to us. If you want to make things positive and memorable, you need to assign those feeling to the event. But, how do you filter out all the negativity?
You need to condition your mind every day:
Pay Attention to the Words You Use and Reframe if Necessary. You may have to drop some words from your vocabulary like “can’t” or “try”. When it comes to the word “can’t”, it means you won’t or you choose not to. As in the wise words of Yoda from Star Wars, “Do or Do not! There is no try.” When you try something, you are making an attempt without full effort. Start saying, “I am in progress of…” By simply shifting the words you use, you create possibilities! You are capable of much more than you give yourself credit for.
Empower Yourself with Uplifting Stories. Feed your mind with positivity. When you hear of stories of ordinary people doing extraordinary things, you are granted permission to dream bigger than ever before. If someone has done something that you want to do, it means you can do because it has been done! Read books and watch movies or television shows that inspire you.
Surround Yourself with People Who Make You Feel Better. These people are the ones who encourage you and support those crazy dreams. They often challenge you to become a better version of yourself and to stretch out of your comfort zone. You want to be around people who are not judging you for going after your dreams. You want them to be inspired by you and you by them to push a little bit harder!
Choose to Focus on Service. Whenever you catch yourself feeling sorry for yourself, start focusing on the needs of others. When you support others in reaching their goals, you feel good because you are not focused on lack or scarcity. Remember that your thoughts and feelings influence the actions you take and ultimately the results you are getting.
Let Go of the Past to Enjoy the Present and Step into the Future. When you are hung up on negative events from the past, you can be sabotaging the present moment and how your future unfolds. We often hang onto those stories because of how we felt in the moment even if it no longer serves us. I am not saying you must forget what happened. You can forgive or choose to no longer let it influence your life. Rewrite your story. How do you wish it occurred? Can you share your story from a positive perspective? What lessons did you learn? What went right? What did not go so well that you would rather forget?
Keep track of your WINS and SUCCESSES. No matter how big or small, it is important to keep track of our accomplishments to see if we are meeting our goals or o the right track to meeting our goals. Seeing these milestones builds momentum and motivates us to keep going and taking note of how far we have come!
Take Note of All You Have to Be Grateful For. The more grateful you are for what you have, the more you will have to be grateful for. Not sure of what to be grateful for, start with your beating heart, your lungs that enable you to breathe, or the blood that flows and provides oxygen to your body. There is much to be grateful for and many things that get taken for granted.
Make each of these conditioning exercises a part of your daily discipline and watch what happens. I would not be surprised if you take bolder actions, start speaking to your success, learn and grow, develop new ideas, and celebrate your wins. Chances are you will lead a happier and more fulfilling life. Who doesn’t what that?
“I truly believe in positive synergy, that your positive mindset gives you a more hopeful outlook, and belief that you can do something great means you will do something great.”
Russell Wilson
We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. Book your complimentary Discovery Session by going to the Coach with Debra page on my website and send me your interest and we will set up a time and date to learn about how coaching can benefit you. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com
Episode 98 -The Power of Positivity with Jon Gordon
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Meet Our Guest:
Jon Gordon’s best-selling books and talks have inspired readers and audiences around the world. His principles have been put to the test by numerous NFL, NBA, MLB coaches and teams, Fortune 500 companies, school districts, hospitals and non-profits. He is the author of numerous best-selling books including The Energy Bus, The Carpenter, Training Camp, The Seed, You Win in the Locker Room First and The Power of Positive Leadership. Jon and his tips have been featured on The Today Show, CNN, CNBC, The Golf Channel, Fox and Friends and in numerous magazines and newspapers. His clients include The Los Angeles Dodgers, The Atlanta Falcons, Campbell Soup, Dell, Publix, Southwest Airlines, LA Clippers, Miami Heat, Pittsburgh Pirates, BB&T Bank, Clemson Football, Northwestern Mutual, Bayer, West Point Academy and more.
Jon is a graduate of Cornell University and holds a Masters in Teaching from Emory University. He and his training/consulting company are passionate about developing positive leaders, organizations and teams.
Episode 93 – Silence Your Inner Critic
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Each of us has an inner voice. Some people refer to it as the inner voice of knowing- but does it really know, especially when the negative thoughts rear their ugly heads. Isn’t bad enough you wonder what other people are saying about you or the efforts you put out? You don’t need any extra judgment as you already are your own worst critic. There are times you say things to yourself that you would not voice out loud and direct at anyone else. Why? The inner critic is not compassionate, kind, or respectful. If you wouldn’t say it to anyone else, why say such mean things to yourself. It’s not that you are wanting to get rid of the inner voice, you are managing the negative thoughts.
When you are in a negative state of mind, you will take actions to support your thoughts and feelings, ultimately, impacting the results you are getting. You need to stop the critic because it crushes your self-confidence to take essential actions required to achieve results. Think of your radio dial; you can tune into music and messaging that you choose to listen to. Many of the messages in your mind have been forged from the past and no longer serve the current situation. It may have come from criticism or advice. You may hear the voice of your mother or father commenting on something and you have hung onto to it. Now in the present something comes up and you think it must be true because someone else has said it even it does not even fit the current situation.
You want to be able to silence the inner critic, the chatter, you hear in your head. Managing the thoughts, you are having is not as difficult as you think. Your mind is flooded with over 50,000-70,000 thoughts in a day with many of them being negativity. Most of these thoughts are unconscious until you bring them into your awareness. As soon as you bring a thought into your awareness, you can make a conscious choice whether you want to keep the thought or reject it. Unfortunately, you may grab a single negative thought and play it in your head like a broken record. It does not serve you – it is time to manage your thoughts and toss those negative ones away altogether.
“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
― Theodore Roosevelt
It all begins with…self-awareness.
What thoughts are you thinking? Once you can notice your thoughts in the moment, now you can change them but before you do, why are you having them, to begin with? Is your self-confidence low? Is fear coming up? Even though negative thoughts come up and their many have been moments that you tell yourself, “I am stupid.”, you need to stop and remember there also have been a time you have shined and felt on top of the world. You are not stupid – your behavior or action you took was not the right one now.
When you catch yourself saying a negative thought, STOP and take notice of it. You can say, “Cancel, cancel, cancel”. Your thoughts are powerful. Your thoughts influence the actions you are going to take. If you are in a bad mood, you may react to a situation or say things you would later regret.
REFRAME the thought into a positive thought. Positive thoughts lead to positive actions. Positive actions will get you closer to the success you are looking for. The reason people do not achieve the success they are looking for is often because the get caught up in the stories they tell themselves.
Get into a positive state of mind. When I studied the morning routines of successful people, I learned that they put themselves into a positive state. To get yourself into a positive state, you can pray or meditate, exercise, write in a gratitude journal, or read a book that gets your mind primed for the day. The morning is not the only time you can do this. You can change your state by simply thinking of a time where you felt unstoppable and you felt at the peak of success.
Your inner voice is not a bad thing…it can warn you or alert you to doing your due diligence. It is a bad thing when you allow thoughts to take root and sabotage your efforts. You need to remind yourself that you have greatness within you – everyone does. Holding back on your greatness serves no one – if you hold back – it is a tragedy. Everything in life is interconnected. If you do not fulfill your purpose, others are impeded from fulfilling theirs.
Make a choice. Your imagination can run wild if you let it. Telling you stories of disempowerment. You need to harness your thoughts and empower yourself. You can break down your stories and examine the words that you use. The word “Can’t” places limits on what you believe is possible and what you think you are capable of doing. Yes, there are somethings that you can’t do such as swim without oxygen in the depth of the sea or fly above the mountains like an eagle. There are things you can do and you are stopping yourself from doing them.
Can’t is a choice. You are choosing not to. Do you notice when you have a choice you suddenly have empowered yourself and taken control of the actions you are taking? What CAN you do? Stephen King said, “you can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” Focus on what you can do versus what you cannot.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.”
― Henry Ford
You have more power than you give yourself credit for. When you pay attention to what you are saying and how those words make you feel and the thoughts you are having, you can start taking actions that support your success rather than sabotage it.
Be Aware -Notice and Understand It.
Stop – Cancel the thought.
Reframe It.
Get into a positive state.
CHOOSE – what you are going to say and do that will empower you!
We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com
What Positive Thinkers Do that Negative Thinkers Do Not
“you can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” Stephen King
People often refer to positive thinkers as the people who wear “rose-coloured glasses” or as people who see a glass as “half-full” versus half-empty. Positive thinkers do have a different approach to life than negative thinkers.
Yes, bad things happen in life.
Positive thinkers are not ignoring life circumstances. They do attempt to explore, learn and understand the life events.
Positive thinkers are:
Open to Change and Opportunity. They are open and willing to trying new things, developing new skills, and gaining new knowledge. They look for the possibilities in new situations or in times of uncertainty. Negative thinkers shut down opportunities out of fear. They are not willing to learn and grow. They are often happy with the status quo even if they do complain about it. They do not want to change.
Better Decision Makers. Positive thinkers look for the strengths, opportunities, and best possible outcomes and strive to meet the outcomes they desire. They are open to trying new things and do not close themselves off from opportunities as negative thinkers do.
Solution-focused. Positive thinkers do not dwell on problems but rather focus on positive solutions. They have the ability to see look at the big picture and brainstorm ways to overcome any challenges that may arise. Negative thinkers focus only on the problem and see change as impossible.
More Resilient. They do not unravel easily. They are in tune with their emotions and see setbacks as a chance to stop, breathe, and re-focus – a set up for success. Negative thinkers see situations as permanent and get stressed out. They tend to over-react to situations and do not see the impact of their outbursts or behavior on others.
Resourceful. When they do not know an answer to a question, they will seek out the information or refer to someone who does have this information. They often have a “quitting is not an option” attitude. Negative thinkers are not willing to look for new ways of doing things because they think everything is going to fail anyway or they say “what’s the point?”
Grateful. Positive thinkers enjoy the little things life has to offer. They look for and are grateful for the positive things in their life. Things as simple as being able to: take a breath, for there are others in the world struggling to breathe; hear the sound of music, for there are many who cannot enjoy someone singing off key; or to smell the aroma of mom’s baked apple pie from the kitchen, for there are others who cannot smell. Negative thinkers complain and blame others for their life circumstances.
Positive thinkers also energize relationships and social interactions. You cannot help but want to be around them. They make you feel good about yourself and life in general. In the workplace, these are people you want on your team. These are people who get things done. They are productive and they are high performers. Negative thinkers are just the opposite.
The best thing about thinking is that you can choose to be a positive thinker or you can choose to be a negative thinker. Making the shift can make you stand out of the crowd. You can get promoted, develop stronger relationships, and be given opportunities a negative thinker would not get. Positive thinkers – DO what negative thinkers are not willing to DO.