leadership Archives - Page 54 of 55

How Does Your Inner Game Impact Your Leadership?

November 9, 2015 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Leaders come from all walks of life. Leaders are not born; they are developed. some people believe that leadership is assigned by title. I believe leadership is a choice and we all have it. It starts with believing you are a leader and living your life as an example – expecting the best from yourself. The most important ingredient in becoming a leader is that you have a following or a “tribe”.

A following starts with one person. Tribes are formed by having an individual or a group of people holding a common vision or belief in a message or movement that people want to be a part of. Think about who you admire or follow. What qualities do they possess? What is it about these leaders that draws you to them? Is it their outward appearance or the way they express themselves? Confidence is an inner game that influences a leader’s decisions and actions. A leader believes in themselves and their vision; this is demonstrated by their actions and the results they get.

Your inner game is about how you get the best out of yourself as a leader. Before you expect others to give the best of themselves, you must start with expecting more of yourself. When I speak about being a leader, I mean as a leader in your family, office, business, organization, and community. Leadership is not limited to the board room. Your leadership starts with understanding yourself and then understanding others. In essence, your leadership is influenced by your emotional intelligence.

How you think and act influences the outcomes you get. Even though it seems like no one is watching or paying attention, there are people who are watching you as a role model. They are waiting for you to share your vision and take action so they may learn from you and become a part of it. Most of all, they want to know how it impacts them. Will following you increase their happiness or make them more fulfilled? Will they be inspired to take action?

Your emotions impact your thoughts and your thoughts impact how you act. Those thoughts are determined by the stories you tell yourself about your experiences. The stories can be could or they can be bad – it all depends on your perception.

Telling stories is how we make sense of our experiences. If you are self-reflective you will try to understand what happened and why it may have occurred as you try to rationalize your outcomes. We all have stories from our school days, our first job, first boss, the presentation that went wrong, and the challenges of teamwork.

My first boss wanted to protect me from the choices she made in her life so I would not make the same choices. I thought I had my own parent for that but she thought she needed to share her story. I was no where near from being on the same path or choices she had made. Our decisions and thinking were not aligned. I can dwell on the story as to whether or not she was a good boss or bad boss or I can choose to look for the lesson and remind myself that I am accountable and responsible for my own actions. After all, a story is just that – a story that you tell yourself!

Remember it is your story and you have the ability to change the story. You have choices. A leader must know their strengths and limitations.

What are your strengths?
What are your limitations?
What do you believe yourself to be capable of?
What do you feel is missing from your leadership?

What got you to where you are will not get you to the next level. You need to get clear about what you want, identify the gaps, and step into who you need to be. Do you need to grow your knowledge, develop your skills, and fine tune you abilities? Depending on what you need, these days you can find many resources to support you through books and the internet that are available 24/7 through websites and apps like Udemy and Coursera.

Your inner game influences how you show up in the world. First of all – you need to see yourself as a leader. Focus on your daily habits and take intentional actions toward what you want to achieve. How are you going to hold yourself accountable? Are you going to keep a log, share it with your spouse, partner, or close friend? It is all the small acts that add up in the end. Who do you want to show up as? What do you want people to remember you for?As a coach, it is my role to help you understand the impact of your story and how it has played a part in shaping your thoughts and actions and where you are today.

Everything starts with a choice. What will your next one be?

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com

Signs You Are An Emotionally Intelligent Leader

July 7, 2015 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

A person’s emotional intelligence is becoming a key indicator in how successful they will be. Emotional self-awareness is not only about being aware of how your emotions impact your behaviors but also how others may be perceive or be impacted by your behavior. There are signs of an emotionally intelligent leader. Remember – emotional intelligence can be developed; it starts with self-reflection.

How to Receive Feedback Well – Even When You Do Not Like It!

June 16, 2015 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Let’s face it sometimes receiving feedback is not all it’s cracked up to be.

Many of us have been in situations where individuals feel they must share unsolicited feedback about our parenting style, facilitation skills, the work that we do, how we drive a car, and even how we golf. Feedback can come from all directions. Some feedback is delivered with good intention and some perhaps not so much.

In Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen’s book, Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback (*even when its off base, unfair, poorly delivered, frankly you’re not in the mood), they discuss how people and organizations focus on improving the delivery of effective feedback versus how a person receives feedback. Just as the giver is offering their own perspective of a situation, the person who receives the feedback makes an interpretation. The problem lies in the fact that the giver and receiver may not see eye to eye. Has this ever happened to you?

Feedback can come from people who do not have the knowledge, skills, expertise, or experiences you do. They may not have kids. They mean never have had to deal with poor performers or productivity issues. They may never have run a business but what they do have is their “advice – welcomed or not” or “research”. You may not find these people credible or the delivery of their feedback totally off course. You may be quick to discard it with a “What do they know?” comment. However, you may be discarding it too soon. Take time to consider the value of their offering and learn to ask the right questions. Are they offering you a viewpoint you may have not seen or heard before? Life experience may be the greatest teacher.

Stone and Heen believe that feedback comes in three forms: appreciation, coaching, and evaluation. We all love to hear words of praise and appreciation; however, if that is all you received how will you learn, grow, or challenge yourself to a new level? It all comes down to whether or not you are open and willing to receive feedback by consider its merits.

When receiving the feedback, ask yourself: “Is this feedback to help me improve or am I being evaluated? If evaluation is first to come to your mind, chances are your body stiffened up and you may have even been put on the defensive. If you decided it was coaching in which you are receiving information to improve yourself, your body may have had a more relaxed posture. It is important for the receiver to understand where this feedback is coming from and where it is going. “Does this feedback help me get better outcomes?”

Take time to seek and understand their intention. Making assumptions leaves too much room for misinterpretation. What is the meaning behind the feedback? How was it intended?

By asking more questions, you can decide whether the feedback you receive has any merit or not. You can reject it if it has no validity.

Put your guard down and use feedback as a growth opportunity. Learning how to receive feedback well can improve your relationships, your teams, and your overall mindset.

There may be a diamond under all the rough and jagged edges. All you have to do is polish it out.

What techniques do you have in receiving feedback well?

Are You Thriving in Chaos or Thriving on Chaos?

January 10, 2015 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Some people create their own drama. They need to be a part of the gossip and live their reality like a soap opera. Hopefully the gossip they are a part of is good gossip – spreading how great they think people are. If not, they are coming from a place of judgment and their assumptions and perception may be totally off base.

Whereas for others, life chaos comes from taking on too much or over-scheduling themselves. There can be several reasons for this:

You do not want to miss out on being a part of some big. (You like to be where the action is.)
You tell yourself just one more thing – it can’t hurt. (I can handle it.)
I do not want to be seen as not contributing. (You need to ensure people see you as helping out; otherwise, you may feel a tad bit guilty.)
If I do not help, no one else will. (Martyr – however – there are times I am sure you could be right – no one else will help. That’s when you are a superhero!)
I can’t say no – what will they say. (No boundaries)

Some of the symptoms of chaos are:

a cluttered desk or messy house
finances are a disarray – you do not know how much money is coming or going
exhaustion
missing deadlines
losing things
getting sick more often
feeling weighed down and overwhelmed
tension in your relationships
forgetting to make phone calls or following through on your commitments

What happens when you drop the ball? Guilt, shame, blame…more chaos!

When the world feels like you are on merry-go-round, it is time to stop! Get off! Don’t let chaos become a standard part of your life. Thriving on chaos is not sustainable nor it is healthy.

You do have a choice. A choice to say “no” when you need to, be a part of the action that takes you closer to your goals, and to make self-care a priority.

When you start making a choice and chaos comes like a whirlwind, you can draw on on your resiliency because you are strong, self-assured, and resilient. You can thrive in chaos – you may even get an adrenaline rush but can remain quite level headed to think clearly and make better decisions.

Thriving in chaos is much different than thriving on chaos. Have you ever watched someone who is calm and collected in a crisis situation? As a business owner or an executive, you have to make some very important decisions and sometimes these decisions are very timely. You need to be able to make decisions as quick as an air traffic controller. You need to be able to lead the people who look to for vision and guidance.

In emotional intelligence, people who thrive in chaos would be considered to have impulse control, assertiveness, and emotional awareness. They work toward keeping people around them calm regardless of the environment. Nothing can get accomplished when your people are in a state of panic. It is these situations were good leaders are separated from great leaders.

Which person are you? Do you thrive on chaos (creating your own) or thrive in chaos?

What Makes a Good Executive Great?

July 25, 2014 by Debra Kasowski 1 Comment

Some people believe that great leaders are born while others think great leadership can be learned. I believe it a can be a little of both – what you are born into and the role models and mentors you learn from make the biggest difference.

There are certain qualities that propels a good executive to a great one!

Great executives:

are committed to sharing the mission and vision of the organization and try to onboard all the champions to continue to share the message

make regular appearances throughout the organization. The staff need to see that you care about the work that they do. Take time to learn about your people. Get to know some of their names – everyone from the janitor to your assistant.

are strategic systems thinkers who communicate in an all-inclusive “we” – collaborative message.

are open to listening to ideas and opinions of others even if they are different than your own.

help build the capacity of the people within the organization by encouraging growth and development. They take a step back from the control of being a micromanager.

You know who those great executives are.

They are the only one who brings that high powered energy to a room. They are theones people in the organization look forward to seeing and hearing from. They are the ones who believe in the work being done.

The people who work for them respect and admire the leadership.

These fine executives surround themselves with the very best – you may be one!

What are you willing to do to shift from good to great starting TODAY?