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EPISODE 22: Focus on What You Want

August 30, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Episode 22: Focus on What You Want

“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.”
― Roy Bennett

There are so many things going on in our daily lives that we’re distracted from being focused and being in the present moment. Look around you there are some people who are super focused; they know exactly what they want and are driven to succeed. Then there are others who don’t know what they want to appear to be stumbling through life. Which person are you?

Do not be dismayed if you find yourself being the person with lack of focus. By listening to this podcast you’ll find ways to zoom in on your focus.

Knowing what you want gives you clarity. Everything around you becomes clearer. You know what goals you want and decision-making becomes easy. When you’re unclear, it kind of feels like walking around in the dark where you don’t know exactly where you’re going and can stub your toe. You can get clear by just sitting down and writing out what it is you want. Don’t judge or critique your and writing. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar. Keep writing!

Catch your thoughts and shift. In Episode 13 The Power Of Positive Thinking we talked about how we have 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts in a day and that 80% of those thoughts were negative. When you realize you are having negative thoughts and you are self-aware of them, you have the ability to change thought. You can shift gears or flip the light switch in your thought process. As you notice the negative thoughts, you can either accept it or you can reject it. Reframe the thoughts into something more positive. It really comes down to focusing on what you want and not what you don’t want

What do you think happens when you focus on what you don’t want? Worries, fears, anxiety, self-doubt, and your internal critic pops its head and that’s all we see. As you focus on what you don’t want, your action star reflecting your thoughts and you self-sabotage yourself from getting what you really want. There is so much power in the way you think. I cannot stress enough how much you need to be paying attention to how your thinking. It impacts everything you do. You end up joining the ancient awful club and feel awful. Your mind thinks that’s what you want. Worrying just attracts problems and notice you don’t worry about what outcomes you want. You only end up worrying about what you lack which ends up bringing you more lack.

When you experience resistance, there is often a misalignment with your values and who you want to be. This internal conflict is alerting you to the fact that you’re focusing on the wrong things. You need to start focusing on what you can control versus what you cannot.

Energy flows where your attention goes. What are you paying attention to? The reticular activating system (RAS) is our brain’s attention center. It is the place where our thoughts and feelings interact with their outside world and how we interpret it. If you focus on your past and see your past with regret, your actions will not move you forward toward renewed future.

Esther Hicks said, “A belief is a thought you keep thinking and things actualize around it to confirm that thought.” When you put a spotlight on something, you will find evidence and rationale to make that thought your truth. It becomes your reality. focus perspective However, if you change your focus by looking at other perspectives and choose a reality that you truly want, you will find evidence and rationale that supports that truth. Whatever you believe becomes your reality. You need to lock into the thoughts that you want and get really focused on where you want to go with your thoughts and the actions you will be taking.

You may be telling yourself right now that I don’t like my reality. Your reality may be your present or remember no moment is permanent. You can either accept your reality as it is or choose different thoughts to feel differently and you will start taking actions to match your new belief. You need to believe in your reality and that you can always improve. No matter if it is a positive or negative moment is temporary. Whatever you believe your reality to be will be the story that you share and tell yourself.

The trouble is and that people get caught up in comparing themselves to others through social media and real life. For professionals, many individuals saw social media as a form of showcasing their skills, talents, and abilities and making them stand out from the crowd. Some individuals have used social media to compare their lives to the lives of others. Have you noticed that people post all the great things about what’s going on in their lives? You are comparing yourself to a moment in time and not their whole life timeline. You may see exotic travels, celebrations with friends, and other things that you may long for. This comparison can make people feel depressed if they choose to and they will not take actions that support what they want. When you compare yourself to others you are focusing on another person’s reality and what they believe to be true.

I want to ask you some questions to help you get clear and focus on what you want.

What action will give you your greatest return on investment of your time money and other resources? These are the needle-movers or the game-changers. Are you taking the right actions?

What are the things that are distracting you?

What thoughts are you having? Are you experiencing worry fear and self-doubt? It just means that you’re focusing on what you don’t want. Shift the thought and change your actions.

Here are some things to help you get laser focused and get what you want:

Get super clear on what it is that you want. Write it down.

Accept what is and create the reality that you wish to see. Don’t worry about what everyone else’s thinking or doing. Their opinion applies to them and not to you. People’s advice comes from their own experiences and fears. Choose what you want to accept and what you choose to reject as truth.

Visualize the results that you want.

Prioritize tasks and things you need to get done.

Prepare for what you want and need by gathering resources, accumulating knowledge, and developing your skills and abilities.

Eliminate your distractions and interruptions. Don’t check your e-mail in the morning until you have done some focused work. No e-mail or texting and tell the task is done.

Remove any clutter on your desk or in your space. You may develop the urge to start cleaning it or start working on another project.

Learn to say “no”. You cannot be all things to all people and accomplish what you want to get done for yourself. By focusing on pleasing others, you may lose focus on who you are and what you wanted to accomplish. I’m not saying you shouldn’t help people. There is a difference between helping others and living a life doing what others want for you. By living a life of pleasing others you please no one because other people have different expectations than what you do.

“Focusing is about saying No.”
― Steve Jobs

Take a break every hour for about 5 to 10 min. In order for your focus to be sustainable, you must take a break to recharge and rejuvenate. Your mind does need some time to wander and generate new ideas. You often get a fresh perspective when you come back and look at what you’re focused on.

Take actions that support what you are working toward achieving. You will notice that you will be more productive and efficient with your time, talent and efforts.

Change your focus to what you want and not on what you don’t want – for it will become your reality.

Don’t forget to grab your free DOWNLOAD to help you

get focused on what you want.

I would love to hear about how focusing on what you want has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Give us a 5-star rating! Sign up for our Newsletter www.debrakasowski.com

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time 12:15 mins

EPISODE 17: Harness the Power of Momentum

August 11, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Episode 17 – Harness the Power of Momentum

There are no limits to what you can achieve if you stay focused on what you are trying to achieve. You need to believe the impossible is possible for you. Your results may be better than you expect. Success has no guarantees; each action you take starts creating a momentum. If you stop taking action, you stop the momentum.

“Always work hard. Intensity clarifies. It creates not only momentum, but also the pressure you need to feel either friction, or fulfillment.”

— Marcus Buckingham

During my coaching program, we learned about Creative Tension – It moves us to take action. It helps us get out of our comfort zone and stretch us. Challenge us.

Why do we need it? What does it do?

Momentum helps us:

Push through and overcome obstacles. You may have heard about runners or even swimmer pushing through a certain distance to push forward what they may not have thought possible exclaiming, “What else can I do? What else can I do?” What else is possible for you?
Increase your motivation and confidence in your abilities. It helps you to try new things!

You are responsible for creating it through consistent actions. A rapid succession of successes and lessons drives momentum. Energy increases; it will be natural for others to want to follow you. You will become magnetic. You will start to inspire others around you.

Momentum is ignited when you have a clear vision – you know what you want to achieve, you are able to articulate and share your vision, and you can enroll others in your vision.

Do you want to get more clarity? Read my book GPS Your Best Life

Believe in your ability to make things happen. Your confidence, energy, and enthusiasm with excite others around you.

You are probably thinking to yourself – but how do I create a momentum – especially when times are tough or you are feeling challenged more than you think you can handle.

I want to share with you some of the ways that have worked for me and some of the clients I have worked with.

Challenge yourself – Be committed to continuous learning, stay curious and have a learner mindset. Try new things regularly.
Make a rule to quit complaining, blaming, and stop making excuses. You either get results or excuses.
Reduce your distractions. Declutter your space or your email. Clear whatever is in your way.
Be grateful for what you have; the more you will have to be grateful for.
Celebrate your successes – little things lead to big things! It will drive you to take more action. Breath in and acknowledge the successes before moving on to the next thing.
Deliver value and look for ways to exceed expectations. You will generate excitement in others and they will be grateful and share their experience with you – with others.
Do you least favorite activity first – EAT THAT FROG – Brain Tracy

Everything will move so much quicker with the momentum.

Set Milestones – You create anticipation. You may even meet goals quicker.
Measure your outcomes – what gets measured gets managed.
Fake it until you make it – take the actions you need to get to where you want to go. Who is a leader you admire? How can emulate some of the actions that they have taken to achieve success – do your homework. If you want to be a great leader, start being one now.
Make a plan – Work the plan. Otherwise, you will be chasing butterflies. Do you due diligence and your resources.
Don’t forget to dream – Sometimes when people are too realistic to the bone, it drags people down. Dreams can propel you further rather than looking at your current circumstances.
Follow up with people you have met at events or make inquiries – you will be surprised when you connect with others. They energy rises and people take an interest in what you are doing.

What happens when you stop running on a treadmill or riding a bike?

You stop moving – you fall off.

Worry and doubt can paralyze you from taking forward action. They drain your energy. Challenge yourself – test your theories. Ask questions. Gain knowledge – but don’t stop unless you know you are in danger.

No one is going to jail or getting hurt or killed in the process chances are whatever happens you can course correct.

We all start somewhere. There have been many successful people who did not start with any resources – no network of people, no money, no knowledge, did not know English or a language of the place they settled in. They built it and so can you.

“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.” — Og Mandino

Success is not about how many resources you have; it is about being resourceful and leveraging your resources in the most effective way. Focus on taking action and over time a compound effect with occur. If you are focused only on short-term activities to get immediate results, you will lose momentum quickly especially if you do not set a new target that stretched you.

Your efforts make a difference in how you feel about your progress and what you are going to achieve.

Let your efforts multiply!

Success comes from taking the initiative and following up…persisting…eloquently expressing the depth of your love. What simple action could you take today to produce a new momentum toward success in your life?

— Tony Robbins

You need to continually set new challenges to learn and grow. Acknowledge how far you have come. Reflect on what you can do better and work to improve.

Time: 16:31 min

EPISODE 16: Challenges Make You Stronger

August 9, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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EPISODE 16 – Challenges Make You Stronger

37602986 - female rock climber climbs on a rocky wall Challenges are a part of everyday life. A challenge is something that pushes you out of your comfort zone. It can be something you challenge yourself with such as a goal or it could be something presented to you such as learning something new, getting a handle on finances, acquiring your next client, or seeking a promotion. Some challenges are easier than others. Some challenges knock us down for the count. Think about how many times you get up to face a challenge – that will determine whether or not you will push through it.

If you let the first time you knock you down; you will be paralyzed. I remember the first time someone unsubscribed to my newsletter. I was just devastated because of the one subscription. In that moment, I had forgotten about the hundreds of people who were subscribed. Maybe it was not the right fit for them. What I realize now is that people come into your life for a certain amount of time, a reason or a purpose and some people fade away. Understand that when we face those challenges not to take it so personally and feel defeated. It is about being able to rise up and embrace the challenges and move forward.

It was once said by someone that, “Challenges make you more responsible. Always remember that life without struggle is a life without success. Don’t give up and learn not to quit.”

Challenges make a person more resilient. You recognize your emotions that arise in different situations and how to manage them to become a better communicator or influencer. You become more self-aware of what you want and what you do not want. You develop clarity. You learn from mistakes. Don’t punish yourself. You are growing and stepping into the potential of who you are meant to be.

You can either let a challenge pull you down or you can use it to rise up.

45535742 - woman holding shopping bags at a boutique There was a personal challenge I faced when swimsuit shopping with my daughter. I had sent my daughter to go and purchase herself a swimsuit for a surprise trip. I was unable to go with her. She came home a tossed the bag to me and I did not think anything of it. She did not even show me what it looked like until we were leaving and then I realized that there was a $200 + price tag to this swimsuit. I was like, “What?” I am sorry I do not understand what 16 year old needs a two hundred dollar swimsuit. Anyhow, we ended up going on our trip and did not end up going swimming anyway but I knew a swimsuit you cannot return.

We had come home and we were leaving in a couple more weeks to go on vacation. We ended up going back to the same store where she had purchased the swimsuit. As she was trying on bathing suits, I could feel myself boiling inside even though the staff was wonderful to her. I was thinking to myself, “Why would anyone want in in a suit that makes her so much older that she did not feel energized and excited in?” She did not even feel comfortable in it. We ended up going swimming shortly after our surprise trip and she discovered that the suit did not fit properly.

As I was standing there, I could feel myself boiling inside. It is about being able to recognize those emotions. It was a challenge for me to think about how I was going to manage these emotions. It was my problem. The people in the store do not know what is bothering me. As it was getting close to closing time, the staff was being very patient and had no problem waiting for to finish trying on another suit. We did not end up buying a suit. [We had gone to another store and paid $20 for a swimsuit and going on our vacation. She was youthful, energized, and loved the suit that she had.]

ID-10089448 Meanwhile, I was quite frustrated as I was waiting for my daughter to finish up so I started to talk to the clerk. I proceeded to tell her about how I was feeling and how I was boiling inside. If I felt this energy, I could not imagine how and if they felt it. I began to share the story of what happened when my daughter had come for a swimsuit. The young lady at the till was phenomenal. She said “You should not have had that type of experience that is not how we work here.” She took my information. I informed her that we were leaving the next day on vacation. I told that I would not be able to deal with this right now. She said that it was okay and that she would speak to her manager to see what she could do for me.

She had phoned the very next day explaining that they were going to be doing something for me. I decided while I was on vacation that I would not deal with it until I got home. When I came home I called them, they had offered me a 20% discount. I thought you know it is a swimsuit; they are not going to return it. We already spent $200 in their store for something we were not happy with. She asked me if I was going to pick up the 20% off coupon and I stated, “I am not sure I am going to but thank you very much for your time. We will just take this as a loss.”

Not even 5 minutes later, she had called back. A district manager had heard her talking to me; she had explained that she could not return the bottoms. I stated that I understood based on my healthcare background. If I brought back the top, they would give me a full refund for the cost of the top to purchase anything else in the store. I said that was reasonable and that was something I could handle.

Again I was unable to go with my daughter so I spoke with the young lady that was working with her that I would be unable to be there. My daughter went in and they spent a lot of individualized – personalized attention with her. She came home with a new top to match her bottoms and a racer swimsuit for swimming lengths. She pulled it out and went to try it on to show me right away. She ended up getting two suits in the end.

What impressed me most was the young lady that was working with us. She put in a lot of effort; she was phenomenal. When I speak in front of groups, I talk about this young lady all the time. I went into the store a few days later and I had asked one of the other girls, “Can you tell me who the top person is, that I can talk to in your company? They gave me the President – they gave me all these people. I sent the lengthy e-mail. They are just in the swimsuit industry. They are in the industry of self-esteem, confidence, and help people feeling comfortable in the skin and that they are in.

I find it so powerful to be able to know that you’re doing more than just providing a product – more than a business transaction so I e-mailed a lengthy e-mail. I wanted this individual to be recognized. We were going to recognize her in our own way but we wanted somebody you higher up to realize the potential of this young lady and the difference she was making them from of life. I received an e-mail back from the owner of the company and she had forwarded our e-mail to the whole distribution list of all of their employees to realize that this is what they’re in business for and that they would recognize this young lady and in some way.

My daughter had gone a few days later and handed a little gift to this employee. She was nearly in tears for being recognized for going above and beyond her call of duty. How often do we do that – where we want to go the extra mile for our clients or customers making them feel that they matter?

These challenges that we face make us so much better. They make us so much stronger and we would never realize the impact it can have on other people because what I realized is that if I never speak up when I recognize an emotion that I have, either to clarify something with someone or to express how I’m feeling about a situation, this all would never have happened. When we talk about emotional intelligence, people say, “Oh, that’s the soft stuff!” Even though it is soft, it’s about people and making sure that people matter and how were communicating is a big deal. Think about how you communicate and how some of those challenges have come through communication.

Big Breath! I know that was heavy!

SPONSOR – LET’S BE CURIOUS! www.letsbecurious.ca

It really does amaze me how including me, can take things for granted until we are faced with a challenge. I remember completing a triathlon after not putting in a lot of training several years after I had done the course. Holy Man! I was in awe of what I had accomplished that I never credited myself for. The hard work and dedication it took to take on the challenge and to really acknowledge the sacrifices that went with it. Swim, bike, run. I was never a star athlete. I challenged myself to do what I saw other do. If they could do it, so could I.

One of the biggest challenges I see people face is often self-induced through the comparison trap. Comparing our self to others leads to a no win situation. Your intentions end up reflecting a competition and beating someone versus becoming better and being a natural choice. Start turning inward and set challenges for yourself – each day to become a better version of your Self today than you were yesterday. Become a better listener. Become a better employee. Become a better spouse. Become a better parent. Become a better boss. Hone your skills. Fine tune your strengths. The competition is with your Self. Beat your old self – running your own race.

Stop complaining about your circumstances. There are people who are in more delicate situations that you are right now. Some people are wishing they could walk or even run a race. Some people are fighting for their breath. Some people would love to have the job or business you do; due to health issues may not be able to do so.

Quit making excuses about all the reasons success has not happened for you yet. True success – sustainable success takes time and consistency. Are you using your time productively or are you getting sucked into the vortex of social media? Following blue links or just checking to see if someone just someone liked your post.

Stop blaming others for your position in life. You may hear people blaming their parents, spouse, kids, or boss for their position in life or their lack of resources for not being further ahead. You are in charge of you and the decisions that you make.

Who you are… is directly related to the life you have led and the choices you have made. As a child, your parents may have taught you a certain way of doing things. As you became your own person, you started to make your own decisions and choices. You could believe old patterns and beliefs or you could choose your own story of how things played out and how things have yet to be. Others have made choices and passed on their beliefs based on what they believe to be true. Do not be afraid to question, challenge assumptions, or offer a new perspective. You may have heard the story about a young adult preparing a roast after they were newly married. They cut off each end of the roast and placed in the roasting pan. When questioned and the person asked, “Why did you cut the ends off?” They replied that is how we have always done it – my mother did it that way and her mother did it that way.

What are you doing just because others do it that way?

Start viewing your challenges as blessings or opportunities. Write in a journal and start coming up with solutions to your challenges. Choose the story you want to hear and live. Remember your perception and what you believe is your reality. Is it the right belief? Is that what you want to believe?

Stay focused on the positive aspects of what you are trying to achieve. Be a “positive Choose to approach each day – “Today is going to be a great day!” – Speak it into existence. Connect with others and build relationships now – before you need them. If you do not have a support system, start creating one – people you know, like, and trust and who challenge you to become a better version of yourself.

“Handicaps often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.”

C.S. Lewis

Time: 19:34 min

EPISODE 15: Imagine the Possibilities

August 4, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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DKI Episode 15 – Imagine the Possibilities

Logic will get you from A to B; imagination will take you everywhere.” Albert Einstein

41442682 - homemade kettle corn popcorn in a bag What I want to focus on today is helping you stretch out of your comfort zone and thinking about shifting from any impossible thinking that you might have to into the world of possibility. You want to be in that dream state to be able to explore what is possible. This is when your mind is like a popcorn machine – all those kernels popping around like all the ideas coming out of your head. I love to brainstorm. It is one of my most favorite things to do next to mind mapping. Your dreams are only limited by your mind. I am not talking about fluff dreams. I am talking about concrete dreams that you turn into goals and take steps to actually get to where you want to go. You tap into your full potential.

There is a quote that says you would completely astound yourself if you truly knew what you are capable of. We don’t use everything that we’re capable of doing because there’s so many things that we can do and tap into we have so many hidden talents and so little time. I don’t have the time or when even find the time. If not now, when? If not you, who else is going to be doing it? Sometimes people say, “I’ve made mistakes or failed. It would be impossible for me to resurrect myself to be seen in the same light or achieve the same things that I have. You heard stories of people who have become millionaires, maybe have gone bankrupt, and they were able to build an empire. You know not everyone is in that the state of being the millionaire. Often people say things about The Millionaire Woman Show, it isn’t about one million bucks; it’s about living rich from the inside out – feeling like a million bucks and growing into the person you are meant to be through leadership, business, and developing human potential. You must put out the intention to grow into it.

“Your mistake does not define who you are, you are your possibilities.”

Oprah Winfrey

I want you to give yourself permission to dream. Who would’ve thought about websites like Pinterest, Etsy, and all these different websites of people getting creative and innovative all these possibilities around us? Think about what is possible. This is where all these great inventions have come from. This is how entrepreneurs are born because they are always looking for a better way of how to improve something or create a solution to something. Think of the creator of Spanx, Sara Blakely, she was trying to create a solution by the cutting off the legs of nylons so she could wear nylons under her pants. This creativity led to a whole new line of body shapewear. Many women are grateful for this! It was innovative and creative. It turned into a business solution for women around the world. What could be possible if you allow yourself to dream?

“Some people see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say why not?” George Bernard Shaw

Consider the things that you want to do in your life” What are the possibilities? Ask yourself: If not you, who? If not now, when? Why not? Think about those things. Stretch out of your comfort zone. Start dreaming! You are only limited by your mind. Imagine the possibilities. I want you to take the time to really dream about what is possible for you. If you could be, do, or have anything that would that look like?

58742224 - create design strategy vision concept Create a vision board. A vision board is just not a collage pretty pictures; it is something that allows your mind to expand. It is a collage and not a piece of art. I do not want you to frame it and thinking this is beautiful. I want you to use it as a tool and then set goals based on what is on your board. Break your goals down into smaller pieces. Check out of goalsetting and make plans to start taking action toward what it is you truly want to happen to those possibilities actually making them become reality.

We would love to hear from you and let us know how this podcast is serving you. Give us ideas of some of the topics you’d like to hear and even people you want us to interview because our phase 2 of the show is that we will start interviewing people later on in a couple weeks here. We would love to hear from you. Together we can help serve the world on the global stage of this podcast The Millionaire Woman Show helping you live rich from the inside out so give a five-star rating on iTunes or Google Play. Subscribe to us on iTunes or Google Play. You can e-mail us at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. I was so glad to spend this time with you. Go out and be the change in the world and just as Gandhi said. You can make the difference. Don’t forget those possibilities are standing right in front of you!

Time 7:37 min

Keywords: possibilities, imagine the possibilities, creative, innovative, stretch out of your comfort zone, risk taking, podcast, iTunes

EPISODE 14: Appreciative Living

August 2, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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DKI EPISODE 14: APPRECIATIVE LIVING

Appreciative living …I like to refer to is appreciative living as living the sweet life. No matter where you are whether you’re driving right now or just kicking back at the end of your day or you’re kicking off your morning, I am so glad that you’re here to join us today. I want to share appreciative living with you. I am certified as the appreciative inquiry facilitator. I want to tell you a little bit more about the process and what it means to me and how it can apply to your life, in your business, and to your organization.

Appreciate is a verb; it means “to recognize the quality significance or magnitude of – appreciating their freedom. The second definition I found on dictionary.com is “to be fully aware of or sensitive to; realize –I appreciate your problems.” The third definition is to be thankful or show gratitude for – I appreciate your help.”
According to David Cooperrider (the Father of Appreciative Inquiry) and Diane Whitney, and The Change Handbook, “Appreciative Inquiry is the cooperative search for the best in people and their organizations, and the world around them. It involves systematic discovery of what gives the system “life” and when it’s most effective and capable of economic, ecological, and human terms. Appreciative Inquiry (also known as AI) involves the art and practice of asking questions that strengthen the system’s capacity to heightened positive potential. It mobilizes inquiry through crafting “unconditional positive questions” often involving hundreds and sometimes thousands of people.” It is a very powerful approach to shifting the way people think about things the questions they ask.

During my practicum, one of my greatest learnings was that when people complain about a situation. This is an opportunity to take a step back. What I learned – you know these people are still complaining about this process and you try to explain it to them. It was not the process that was the issue it was how they felt about their environment and how the organization was approaching things. I went back to my trainers, I learned that when people are complaining about something we take a step back and re-frame the question so that they understand it’s a positive question. Allow them to vent for the moment and then say, “I can see that you have a vision of what the ideal would look like; I would love for you to tell me more.” You can you lose their complaint and re-frame it into an unconditional positive question so they can share with you what they see what is the vision that they see as possible. You might have some extra fruit some labor.

Appreciative Inquiry is not a traditional approach.

“The traditional approach to change is to look for a problem, do a diagnosis, and find a solution. The primary focus is not on what is wrong or broken; since we look for problems; we find them. By paying attention to problems, we emphasize and amplify them.”– Sue Hammond, The Thin Book of Appreciative Inquiry

Whatever you focus on expands; your primary focus should be what is working. What I love about Appreciating Inquiry, it allows you to really think about the possibilities. Our next podcast is actually talking about imagining the possibilities. What you focus on you get more of, so it really important to think about what it is that you want.

What are the best experiences you have had in your life so far? With Appreciative Living, the belief is that we do not just experience reality that we create that reality through our conversations with people, the way we think, and how we interact with others. Think about your interactions, you helped create those experiences. If you’re experiencing tension, you can also create a way to have greater peace in your life by approaching it and finding out some of those assumptions that you’re making. It easier to ask someone if your perception is correct than letting something gnaw at you for a couple days. Your thoughts influence how you act around those people.

APPRECIATING THE BEST IN THE PRESENT

Appreciative Living is appreciating your life. It is about appreciating the BEST in the present moment. What are 2 to 3 of your best experiences that you’ve experienced recently? Think about who was involved. What made it so great? Today’s podcast is more about asking questions. It is about getting you to reflect so grab a journal or piece of paper. I want you to take some time to think about this. Of course, I don’t want to do this while you’re driving but I would like you to re-listen to this podcast will make sure that we will not make it go too long today. I want you to take another listen to some of the questions, I will repeat a few things here as I really want you to pay attention.

What are 2 to 3 of your best experiences that you had recently?

Who was involved?

What made it great?

What are three things you are grateful for today? (even if something has tragically happened) What can you appreciate about the people or the situation? With all situations, there is a good and there is a bad. Without being humble, I want to share with us or just in your own notes:

What are your strengths?

What are your three core values?

What do you stand by?

The next question is:

How do you add value to those around you?

I also want you to think about – What is one of your greatest accomplishments?

I would love to hear what your best experience is and what is your greatest accomplishment so please e-mail me at Debra@debrakasowski.com and I would love for you to share them with us.

What is the value that you bring – your core values, and your strengths?

What are the 2 to 3 of your best experiences?

We can all learn from this.

What do you value in your life the most right now?

Thinking about – What are you bringing to the world?

IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES

When you think of appreciating your life and think about an image or symbol that comes to your mind.

What image or symbol comes to mind for you?

What affirmative or powerful statement reflects that image or symbol for you?

One of the most powerful words for me in my life is the word, “BELIEVE” and I’m not exactly sure what it is but when I see that word anywhere I gravitate to it. I’ve had people send me Christmas cards with BELIEVE on it (and I frame it). One of my favorite movies is The Polar Express where only those who hear the sound of the bell, the Christmas Bell, believe in Santa and that he was real. When you have no belief, this demonstrates that something can be possible when people think things are impossible.

Think of your theme. What is your word? For some people, it’s resilient. For other people, it’s courage. For me, the word is “believe”.

If you could have three wishes right now, let’s say you have Aladdin with the genie lamp, you can give it a rub, and you can have three wishes what would those be?

Take a moment to close your eyes. Make sure you are NOT driving a car, of course, do this when you have an opportunity to actually do this.

Visualize your future.

What do you want to create?

What would your perfect day be like?

Would you want to be: more resilient? More open-minded? More creative and innovative? Delve into personal growth? Be willing to take a risk? Have more resources available to you? Give your life a whole new energy?

What I want to encourage you to do is to take the time to dream. This is why is very important to have some downtime to connect with family, go for a walk in nature, get out of the busyness of the world. You need to reconnect with who you are.

ACT IN ALIGNMENT

How do you need to show up to make what you want happen?

What conditions need to exist?

What three things must you start doing today to get to that perfect day?

What must you stop doing?

Take out a piece of paper (or the download) and it is usually just use one page but if you need to you can do it longer. I want you to sit down and write out everything from the moment you wake up to the end of the day. What would be your ultimate perfect day? Who would be there? What would you be doing? What are the things that need to be in place for these things to happen? I often hear people say many different comments about this exercise, but most of all, the biggest ah-ha that has is that they have never given themselves permission to dream. Some people do not realize that they’ve already been living some of those things already and doing some of the things that they truly love. If you’re not in that space, this exercise is even more important for you for you to really dig down.

Think about what it is it you truly want and if you can have a perfect day what would that look like? Who would you be with? What would you be doing? Where would you be going? How would you do some of those things?

By engaging in Appreciative Living and creating the Perfect Day, you will be living as the Italians say, “Dolce Vita”. Dolce Vita means living the sweet life. Why not – live it here and now. It’s a matter of making a choice and thinking about making a change with one action in your thinking or behavior that you are you willing to take so you can create that upward spiral to your best future.

“Appreciation can make a day even change a life; your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” Margaret Cousin [Quote Block]

There are just a few things that you could think of doing to make your life richer from the inside out: trying new things, learn a new language, play an instrument, join a team, check out of meetup group in your area, create a portfolio or a WINS file where you keep track of your successes, and gather collection of things that make you feel good whether their pictures symbols – whatever we might be.

Share your powerful story with others. As you create the story (that you share with others), you want to create that most positive future that you appreciate and live in every moment. It begins with how you share your story with other people. Are you speaking about possibilities and Do you want to live the story you are living right now? If you’re questioning it or you wanted to be richer, you can do that, it all begins with a choice.

First, you must be really clear on what that looks like and what is it that you truly want. Are you willing to put in the effort that it takes to get there? There may be sacrifices. Are you okay with them? There can be consequences with every choice. Something that we get and sometimes something that we have to give – in the end, it was all worth it! Dolce Vita!

I hope that this pumps you up and gets you really thinking about how you can appreciate the present, imagine all the possibilities, and act in alignment with your truth, your values and live that perfect day.

I would love to hear about your perfect day so e-mail us at Debra@DebraKasowski.com Give us a five-star rating. Listen and subscribe to us out here on iTunes. Remember to be the change you wish to the world!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time 17.08 min