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Episode 59: Painful Truths Why People Fail to Meet Their Goals

January 5, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan.” – Tom Landry

Goal setting can occur at any time of the year. People seem to think that New Year’s resolutions or goals are only set when the clock strikes midnight; however, the resolutions are things that you’re wishing to happen there are no definite measurements or time frame in which you wish to achieve it. There’s no game plan. It is simply an announcement of something you wish to resolve.

Interested versus committed. Some people steer away from setting goals for the fear of truly making a commitment. One of the number one reasons that people fail to meet their goals is that they are more interested in having it happen and actually truly committed to making it happen. Commitment takes discipline, hard work, and even some sacrifice along the way. If you really want to achieve something you must maintain focus on the right things.

Focus on the wrong things. When people set goals, there are times when they set goals that they’re trying to avoid something they end up focusing on what they don’t want. As the saying goes you get more of what you focus on. If you continually put your time, attention, and focus on avoiding what you don’t want, for some reason it always seems to be there. Your focus needs to be on what you want to achieve.

TMW_PDFDon’t know what you want. Another reason people fail to meet their goal is that they lack clarity. They have never stopped and really thought about or reflect on what they truly want in their life. They didn’t think about where their career would take them were what type of legacy that they would like to leave. If you don’t know where you’re going you can end up anywhere. If you’re frustrated you need to change what you’re doing.

No action plan. Imagine getting into your car. You’re sitting behind the steering wheel you turn on the ignition. You have no idea where you’re going and how you’re going to get there. There are many people out in the world wandering with no real sense of direction and no plan. You can’t get to where you want to go if you don’t have a plan to get there. I’m not saying focus on the how initially. That’s where the clarity came in. You need to know where you want to go and as you focus on what that is. You will become a creative thinker and figure out the “how”. What will it take for you to get to where you want to be? What knowledge skills and ability you have to gain and learn? Who do you need to speak to get more information?

Cannot make a decision. Making decisions is a big part of a person success. Indecisiveness can lead to missing opportunities. Opportunities don’t wait in the wings for when you decide the time is right. People who are ready to take action will seize the opportunity. You need to be prepared to be ready. Way out the facts and trust yourself and your judgment – make a decision.

No emotional connection to the goal. I’ve seen many people set goals that have no meaning to them. Some are chasing it for material wealth and others realize they have no emotional connection to the goal that they had set. The issue is often that someone else set the goal for them. The end up self-sabotaging every action is not truly what they want and are not being true to themselves. You may have faced that internal struggle of doing things that you no longer feel that are important to you or you lack the emotional connection.

Setbacks lead to paralysis. Another painful truth about why people fail to meet their goals are that when a setback occurs they shift into an “all or nothing” thinking. They are devastated by any failure. They fail to see the lesson and self-correct quickly and move forward. These people lose motivation quickly and often give up. They need to rally and put strategies in place that when a setback occurs that they can prepare for the greatest comeback. They need to take the lessons they’ve learned with them.

Playing it safe. When you avoid taking risks you miss out on opportunities of growth and challenge. I’m not saying put all that eggs in one basket. Do your due diligence it is important. Too many people fail to take a risk because they haven’t assessed and analyzed any of the information available to them they simply just brush it off. Sometimes it takes only one action that can propel you so much farther than you ever have before if you’d only stop and take the time to learn what you need to learn and make a decisive decision.

Comparing yourself to others is a trap! The other painful truth is that comparison trap. We often catch ourselves comparing ourselves to others thinking that there is so much farther ahead – where they have the skill or something that you would like to have. Everyone in life faces challenges you are not unique in that aspect. They might not display it to the world especially through social media which is always everybody’s greatest day. Focus on your own strengths and what you have to offer. You can learn from others but don’t compare where you’re at to or someone else’s is you don’t know the other person struggle.

There is no magic wand or silver bullet to success! You need to stay driven and committed to your goals. You need to be clear on what it is you truly want, make a decision, and a plan to make it become your reality. It is time to end the frustration and disappointment of not meeting your own expectations.

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time: 11:20 min

Filed Under: Podcasts Tagged With: avoidance goals, commitment, commitment versus interest, comparison trap, coping strategies, effective decision making, Fail to meet goals, focus on what you do want, focus on what you don’t want, goal setting, goals, indecisiveness, lack clarity, New Year's Resolutions, no plan, painful truth about why people fail to meet goals, resolutions, SMART goals, taking a risk

9 Simple Strategies to Improve Your Decision-Making Skills

November 29, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

When decisions need to be made, most people evaluate their options with the tried-and-true list of pros and cons. Although this may be helpful, it is not always the most effective decision-making tool. For example, if someone asks you if you can complete a task, you may you look at your to-do list to see if you can fit on your list versus checking your calendar to see if you have any available time. If you do use a pros and cons list, use it to help make your decisions with the understanding and focus on your goal to ensure that you will be on the right track. The one question people often fail to ask is: How will this decision get me closer to that outcome or results I desire?”

“You can’t make decisions based on fear and the possibility of what might happen.”
― Michelle Obama

If it doesn’t, why are you doing it?

There are simple strategies that you can implement that will improve your decision-making skills.

  1. Goal/Outcome: Be clear on what it is you wish to achieve.
  2. Assess:
  • Where are you at?
  • What are the options available?
  • What are the pros and cons?
  • Relevance: Does it take you closer to your goals or further away?
  1. Resources:
  • What are the resources available? How can you mobilize those resources?
  1. Risks:
  • What are the potential risks?
  1. Research – Do your homework. Find out as much you can about a situation and the background. Ask questions.
  • What are the facts? Success rates?
  1. Impact:
  • What and who is impacted by this decision?
  1. Interventions and actions:
  • What steps or actions are necessary to get you closer to your goal?
  • What are the potential risks or obstacles in the way of getting the outcome that you want?
  1. Gut Check/Intuition. What does your gut tell you? Remember not to over analyze everything.
  2. Ask Powerful questions:
  • What is working?
  • What’s not working?
  • What do I need to stop doing?

Now you have all the information you need to make a decision. Separate facts from emotions. When your emotions are high or you feel threatened, it is not a good time to make a decision. Your brain goes into protection mode. Sometimes you need to take some quiet time to think or get into a different environment for a short time. Don’t be afraid to consult others who may have been in similar situations. They may save you some heartache by sharing their experiences. It does not mean history will repeat success or failure. There will be a lesson to learn as with many things in life and business. Each step requires simple actions. Follow them to help you get the results you want to achieve- or better.

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

 

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: decision making made easy, decision making process, decision-making in business, decision-making skills, decison making, effective decision making

7 Ways to Sharpen Your Decision Making Skills

July 28, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Effective decision making begins with knowing what you value and what is important to you. What you value, want, and need motivates you to take action. When you make choices that are not in line with your values, you will feel uneasy and incongruent with your choices – off track. When you make choices that are aligned with your values, you are at ease, satisfied, and fulfilled with the direction you are going.

According to the Free Dictionary online, value means “relating to or consisting of principles or standards”. Take a look around you; you will notice that everyone has different values. They have different standards. Everyone does not place value on the same things; therefore, the world is full of abundance because not everyone wants or desires the same things. Making decisions based on what you value is referred to as value-based decision making.

Do you find it hard to make decisions? Do you narrow down your choices and still find it hard to make a decision? Are you often influenced by other people’s opinions and later regret you did not listen to your gut instinct? Decision making can be made easy when you know yourself and what you value. Self-awareness is the cornerstone of decision making. Our values influence our thoughts and feeling and impact the decisions we make. Every decision we make takes us closer to or farther away from creating our desired future or outcomes.

What a person values is different than what they believe to be true. Beliefs are formed from out interactions and experiences of what we believe to be true. Many assumptions and judgments may be made that have no truth to them. Values are part of your core; the person who you are.

“If I had an hour to solve a problem I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.” – Albert Einstein

To become a Value-Based decision maker or leader, follow these steps:

  1. Identify what is important to you. Values include generosity, respect, truth, honesty, gratitude, freedom, integrity, wisdom, responsibility, and accountability. There are much What is most important to you?
  2. Prioritize your values. You may value many things. Determine your top 5 values that you base your decisions on. These are non-negotiables,
  3. Recognize your emotions and the emotions of others. How you feel or how others are feeling can impact the decisions you make. Challenge any assumptions or judgments you may be making. Don’t be afraid to question or clarify what you are thinking.
  4. Gather the facts. You want to gather enough information that you feel good about the decision you are making. Do you need to speak to someone or research more information?
  5. Compare to similar situations and reflect on what worked, what did not, and what you needed to do differently. What are your options? What alternative exist? What are the consequences of the options or alternatives?
  6. Focus on the facts versus your emotions. When you have all the information you need, decision-making should be much quicker and easier.
  7. Make your decision. Adjust your course of action if required. You may need to make new decisions. Repeat this process as necessary to guide you to achieve the results you want.

The most effective decisions are based on values versus one person’s belief. Values define a standard or a code of honor to abide by. Beliefs are based on experiences. If a person’s decision making is solely based on their beliefs, the decisions that are made will only be as good as the situations and experiences that they have been exposed to. Values are who you are – know yourself and what is important to you!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: challenge assumptions, decision making, effective decision making, emotions and decisions, values, vlaues-based leadership

7 Things Will Happen When You Start Tracking Your Progress

May 15, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Setting goals has always been seen as one of the most important pieces attributing to a person’s success. You can’t achieve success if you are not measuring the achievement of your goals. If you want to perform at your top level of potential, you need to start tracking your progress. By tracking your progress, you will accelerate your success faster than if you did not track it.

Write out your goals and track your progress. There are many app based tracking tools for your smartphone like LifeTick, BackPack, 43 Things, Stickk, and Achievr to help you keep on track. You can track the progress of any goal you set has long as it is S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely). You can track the cups of coffee you are drinking, the amount of money you are spending, how many kilometers you are driving, and the number of referrals you have followed up with after a networking event. If you are not tracking you are not making progress. Ink it so you can think it!

“Progress is the activity of today and the assurance of tomorrow” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Once you start tracking, you will start noticing a shift in how you approach your goals:

  1. You will be excited to keep track of a visual of your progress. Colour code it. Set milestones that you can celebrate along the journey to achievement. Tracking a goal makes the goal itself more tangible. You can already feel closer to your goal.
  1. You will be more intentional with how you use your time. You will start to notice where you are spending your time, money, and resources and whether or not you are getting a greatest return on your investment.
  1. You will make a plan in alignment with where you want to be. Are the actions that you are taking getting you closer to achieving your goal or farther away?
  1. You will start self-reflecting and adjust your course of action toward the achievement of your goals. What is working? What is not working? What can you stop doing?
  1. You will make better decisions based on the facts that you have at hand. You will be able to evaluate your resources and ask better questions about information you need to make an informed decision.
  1. You will be able to say “no” or set boundaries with greater ease. You have made a commitment to yourself. By tracking your progress, you will feel less guilt because you can see how close you are getting to achieving your goals. Whether you or saving for the new car, starting a new business, or saving up for your dream vacation, you will start to track spending patterns and areas where you need to cut back on your spending. It may be easier to eat a meal or make a coffee at home instead of going out.
  1. You will be more solution focused on getting your desired results. You will come up with new ideas on how to approach things. What you did not know “how” to do, you will start figuring out or you will start asking for assistance.

You will begin to notice how vital it is to track your progress. You will be more committed to your goals than ever before. Each action you take gets you closer to your goals so go and be a goal getter!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her work has been published in Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: achievement, decision making, effective decision making, goal achievement, goal setting, tracking your progress

Boost Your Emotional Intelligence by Asking Better Questions

February 15, 2016 by Debra Kasowski 1 Comment

My post “How to Use Your Emotional Triggers to Your Advantage” received a lot of feedback. I was asked whether or not I would be expanding it to a series and if I could dig deeper and leave you, the reader, contemplating some of the questions I ask.

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Recognizing your emotional triggers is very important for the fact that our emotions and emotional awareness influence problem solving and decision-making. When you are triggered by your emotions, positive or negative, you should take a step back and ask yourself questions. By asking yourself questions, your brain can’t help but search for answers. Questioning is a powerful tool used in problem solving and decision-making. Asking better questions will lead to better answers, better solutions to problems, and better decisions being made – impacting results.

If asking a question would lead to a better results and outcomes, why are people not asking more questions? Maybe you were told as a child that it was not polite to ask questions. You may have had a question that you wanted to ask but you are afraid because you didn’t want to challenge an authority figure or peer for fear of making them look incompetent. You may not have wanted to dig deeper for further understanding or admit a weakness. Individuals often fail to ask questions thinking it’s too much trouble or that they may be being a bother.

Let me ask you, what is the cost of you not to ask questions?

Asking questions can mitigate risk. Imagine if someone knew that there was a safety hazard, such as a loose part or missing piece, in an airplane or automobile and didn’t ask a question or speak up for the fear of questioning authority or competence. Lives could be lost.

Asking questions can lead to new questions and even more questions leading to new discoveries and challenging old beliefs and assumptions. Christopher Columbus questioned whether the Earth was round or flat and went off to discover new worlds.

Asking questions helps us understand how things work. By understanding how things work, you can also think of ways to be more efficient, improve performance, and even save money.

Many relationships and communication would be improved by asking questions. Asking questions allows a person to explore thoughts and ideas further and clarify misunderstandings.

Asking questions can help you save money. You can call your credit card company and ask for a lower interest rate. You may ask for a discount for a multi-purchase order or damaged product. You can also weigh your options when you inquire for quotes on different services.

10502331_lDon’t let the fear of asking questions hold you back from getting the answers you need to make a decision. People naturally want to help others and your questions may even help them think about better solutions and different actions that can be taken.

When I say it’s important to ask questions, I’m not asking you to find blame, complain about someone else, or make excuses for yourself or others. I am asking you to look at each situation with an open mind and fresh eyes. Approaching situations with the learner mindset allows you to be curious and explore what is happening and how it occurred.

Questions you should avoid are ones:

  • Looking for fault “Who did it?”
  • Stalling progress or justifying procrastination “When does this need to be completed?”
  • Promoting victim thinking “Why don’t they get their act together?” OR “Why is this happening to me?”

In order to get stronger solutions, steps, and strategies to come up with better results, you must start asking what and how. Before asking others the “What” And “How” questions, start by asking yourself:

  • What can I do?
  • What would happen if I…?
  • What solutions can I suggest?
  • How can I do my job better?
  • How can I make a difference?

Be careful how you use the “What” And “How” questions, you can do much damage if you don’t use them for the purpose of discovery. Think about your tone and your intention. “What were you thinking?” or “How come you did that?” put people on the defensive.

Think about what you want to ask. What information do you want to know? What would happen if you tried a new approach to an old problem? What would happen if you brainstormed with a mentor or coach? What would happen if you asked for help? How much further ahead would you get than where you are now if you started asking? How can you best support your decisions?

Gathering information, recognizing your emotions, and improving your problem-solving will boost your emotional intelligence. You can strengthen and improve communication, relationships, and decision-making.

What are the questions you should be asking? How are you holding yourself back from getting what you want? Start being curious!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 Magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com

 

 

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: action, asking questions, decision making, effective decision making, emotional awareness, emotional intelligence, emotional self-awareness, inquiry

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