Debra Kasowski

EPISODE 30: A Change of Plans

by Leave a Comment

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

EPISODE 30: A Change of Plans

Life doesn’t always go as perfectly as we planned. There are times when our best intentions are met with disaster or misunderstandings. When life changes your plan, what do you do? As many of you know I have been writing my third book called Let’s Be Curious: How to Ask the Right Questions, Get Better Answers, and Make the Best Decisions™ which was due to come out November 2016. There has been a change of plans – the book will now be released September 2017. What happened? A change of plans…

What Happened?

Six months ago, I committed to writing this book. During this time frame, I have worked on the book that I put aside all workshops and limited networking activities. The book was in pre-launch and I was so proud that I had 13 people pre-buy the book. In discussions with my business coach – Colin Sprake, it was suggested that I postpone the launch of my new book to September 2017.

10486806 - an unsuspecting woman shrugs. shrug of helplessness and

My first reaction was “You want me to do what?” My business coach suggested that I spend the next 12 months building my following through networking, host my workshops, speaking and developing my podcast. Questions flooded my mind, “What about the 13 people who already purchased the book? What will they say or think? What does this say about who I am?”  He recommended that I call each one and tell them that I have had a discussion with my business coach and that I would either offer them a refund or they could be one of the first to receive the book next year along with an added bonus for their patience. I have to tell you – I felt resistance.

I questioned where this resistance was coming from and I knew I need to gain a deep awareness. It has been my experience that asking questions is the best way to do this. What and why was I resisting? I’m one of those people that I feel that I can adapt and be quite flexible when faced with change. It wasn’t so much the change in plans of making the book come out a year later. It was calling those individuals and letting them know that there was a change. Normally, I would not think to share a change of plans as to be such a big deal. What I do know is I like to stick to promises that I make and I deliver on my word. I knew this resistance was because I was concerned about aligning with my values – one of integrity.

Words of Wisdom

My business coach reminded me that I wasn’t acting out of integrity. I was doing the right thing at the right time not only for me but also for the people receiving the book. You see during the six months I had been saying “no” to more things instead of “yes” to things that were important to me. I was still involved in my kids’ activities that there were times when I wanted to do things and said “no” as I needed to focus on writing. So for one thing – this change plan actually allows me to build a richer book with more thought-provoking content where I can share some of those growing edges. I reminded myself that my publisher had once said to me, “Debra a book is ready on its own time. You can’t force it.” I’ve carried that saying with me to remind me that the time will be right. Even though I was nervous about calling each of the 13 people, especially since one person had just bought the book the night before, I knew it was the right thing. Whether I contacted them by e-mail or by phone, every single person wanted to stay on the list and they wanted to be one of the first to receive the book September 2017. They were so gracious and very excited to be a part of this journey. They were understanding and kind. What I realized is that I was being very hard on myself and I shared my concern regarding it integrity with one of my followers and she said, “We know your reputation for delivering on your word. There are no concerns. We just want the great content.” This was most comforting to me. I am grateful.

31160090 - closeup portrait, young middle aged woman, showing small amount gesture with hands, isolated yellow background. human emotion facial expression feeling, body language, sign, symbol, reaction, perception

We all come to places of transition. I know plans change all the time and I also know that I have a tendency to love to be in control of all of that and sometimes it’s not the best thing. It made sense to adjust the course and in the big picture of things, this is one small adjustment that could be the biggest difference in my business but also for the people were waiting to read this book. I am very excited about this book because the more I share the concept with people and my enthusiasm; the more they are excited about receiving a copy.

There are two quotes that caught my attention that I needed to share with you:

“Don’t let your plans or goals become more important than yourself, or the ones you care about!” Jose N Harris.

“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” ~ Confucius

The one thing I noticed the most, the day after calling every single person reaching out to them in some way that I had contact information for, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was calmer and more connected with those around me as I wasn’t continuously thinking, “When I might can a squeeze in the time to write today?” When plans change all we’re doing is adjusting the course, I am the one who is adjusting the course and doing what works best for me instead of allowing outside circumstances to do it for me.

TMW_PDFclickhere.fwI want to share this with you in this podcast because everyone faces a change of plans or is in the place of transition that they didn’t think that they be in. Each one of us faces uncertainty and inner resistance. It is important to ask ourselves questions to understand where this fear is coming from and why are you we resisting? What we resist persists! If you continue to align with your values when you make a decision, you will always be at peace. Sometimes we’re so close to a situation, it takes a business coach friend or mentor to shift our perspective to see clearly again. I am so excited for the upcoming months in finishing off this book to deliver some my best work and reward those were patiently waiting. In the meantime, be curious about the world. Ask tons of questions! It is okay to have a change of plans especially it gets you closer to where you want to be.

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time 9:46 min

Keywords: Colin Sprake, business coach, mentorship, change management, change of plans, self-awareness, dealing with inner resistance, fear of uncertainty, facing uncertainty, curiosity, asking questions, build your tribe, build your following, book launch, adjust the plan, sense and adjust, quotes about plans, quotes, leadership. Personal mastery

5 Things You Can Do to Get Out of Your Own Way

by Leave a Comment

No matter how successful you are or how driven you are, resistance to change is sure to show up. It shows up in the form of anxiety, self-doubt, and guilt. In order to accomplish what you want, you need to step out of your comfort zone but as soon as you do this, your mind starts playing games with you. It wants to keep you safe and protect you from any risks. This mindset chatter is the biggest obstacle to your success because it allows you to get in your own way. You end up reverting to patterns you have had in the past that no longer serve you.

The fear and resistance can paralyze you and stop you from taking any action at all. The resistance you face can prevent you from asking for a raise or the overdue promotion. Resistance can prevent you from making the sacrifices required in order to get control of your health and wellness. The only one who could put this resistance on and set the brakes is you.  The person who can make the change is also you. If you want to achieve things that you never thought possible, you must start taking action steps that will help get you to where you want to be.

Pay attention to your self-talk.  Listen to the words that you are saying. Are they positive or negative? Do you hear yourself saying “I wish I was more confident” or “I wish I could handle difficult conversations better?” Instead of wishing, why don’t you be more confident or choose to handle difficult conversations better? Everything starts with a choice.

Drop the words “can’t” and “try” from your vocabulary. When people say “can’t”, they often mean I don’t want to and when they say “try” they often mean I don’t think I can do it. You want to start using empowering language.

Zero in on the Barriers You Tell Yourself. What are the barriers to achieving what you want? One of the most powerful things you can do is ask questions and gain different perspectives of a single situation. Take your emotions out of the equation and take a serious look at the facts. Do you have the information you need? These real or perceived barriers can be overcome when you get more information. When you get more information, you can ask better questions and get better answers.

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”
― Winston S. Churchill

Don’t let the fear of failure be the one thing that holds you back. Failure is actually your greatest teacher. It allows you to ask the next questions: What worked? What didn’t work? What can I do differently? It is by asking questions that you stimulate your brain to focus on solutions. Turn your challenges into opportunities to get creative and innovative.

Improve your skills. Improving your skills is one of the most under estimated keys to success. People often think if they read one book or attend one seminar that they should be achieving success; however, if you don’t apply what you learned and put it into action the reading and attending were a waste of valuable time. By improving your skills, you build confidence and competence in your abilities. You can improve your skills through the work that you do, volunteering, or trying new things.

Set goals. By just taking time to write down your goals, you become more focused on what you want and look for opportunities to support what you want to achieve. Don’t let the size of the goal overwhelm you. Break the goal into smaller pieces whether it be quarterly, monthly, weekly, or daily tasks. You may choose to delegate some of the work required. You might be telling yourself there’s so much to get done and I just don’t know where to start. Have no fear -start by blocking off time in your calendar to work on the task at hand. When you focus your time and attention, you will intentionally do the work you need to do. You are making a commitment to yourself. The more manageable the task, the greater likelihood you will achieve it.

Take bold action and celebrate your success. One of the things that allow you to get in your own way is waiting for someone to come and save you or hand success take you on a silver platter. Don’t wait for others to give you success. Success comes from you and the work that you put in. Positive thinking alone does not accomplish what you need to do; it comes from taking some serious bold action toward what you say you want to do. Celebrate every success along the way. These mini celebrations will help create a momentum that will drive you forward and help you bust through your fears and get out of your own way.

Resistance appears just when you get close to accomplishing a major milestone. This resistance serves you to reinforce the importance of why you set out to accomplish what you want to accomplish. Why is what you’re doing so important? What is the impact it will make? And what is the risk of you not following through? How many lives including your own will be affected?

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
― Peter F. Drucker

You are meant to do great things. Leverage the anxiety, self-doubt, and guilt to your advantage by changing your self-talk, staying focused on your priorities and getting the facts, improving your skills, setting goals, and taking bold action steps that truly make you an unstoppable force in the world.

What are you resisting right now? How are you getting your own way? And what actions are you going to do take to change it?

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com

5 Reasons People Push Back or Resist Change

by Leave a Comment

Have you ever had someone give you push back when you were trying to implement something new? Have you been ever questioned about a change you were trying to make? Have you asked yourself why the change needs to occur?

Pushback or resistance to change can show up in many ways. A person can get defensive in trying to get their point. Whereas another person, may choose to be defiant and not do what they have been directed to do. Individuals may procrastinate in moving forward with their part of the change and do things last-minute or miss deadlines completely thus sabotaging the change.

Even though push back and resistance to change can be frustrating, it is important to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Ask yourself:

  • Why might this person be challenging or questioning me?
  • Is there value in what they are saying?
  • What is the impact that they see that I may not?

Sometimes we think that the person who’s playing the devil’s advocate is resisting change but what they’re really doing is looking at the situation from different angles. It is important to differentiate whether this person is pushing back or resisting change or are they providing you with valuable shifts in perspective?

Don’t get me wrong…

There are people who resist change. Instead of seeing change as progress, they see change as paralysis.

There are several reasons people resist change and the questions you should be asking yourself?

  1. Lack of Control When people feel that things are done “to them” rather than “with them”, they feel a loss of autonomy. Sometimes these changes are a surprise and the ideas of change are imposed upon them. What information do they need to feel more in control?
  1. Fear of Failure If you’ve ever been a part of a group or an organization with seasoned members, you may have heard the phrase “We’ve done it before and it didn’t work”. These individuals often operate from a place of fear – the fear of failure. They come from the premise that because it didn’t work before, it may not work again and they don’t want to fail. However, they fail to recognize that even though the concept has been used before, it didn’t mean that it was the right time, the right resources were available, or that organization has new people and has gone through a many new experiences. Just because something didn’t work before doesn’t mean, it might not work this time. Have you ever been a part of a group or organization like this? How did it make you feel? What opportunity can you offer for someone to try out their idea?
  1. Too Much Uncertainty Some people resist change because the uncertainty or the “not knowing” makes them feel uneasy and fearful. They do not want to step out of their comfort zone. When people make decisions out of fear, they move into a fight or flight mode and cannot think rationally. They also may make decisions hastily without thought.

We forget we wake up every day with a whole to-do list of different things not knowing what the entire outcome will be. Life would be pretty boring if we knew everything that was going to happen. There would be no excitement or anticipation. There may even be a lack of motivation or effort to pursue and achieve a certain result. What can you do to support your customers or the people you work with when faced with uncertainty?

  1. People are Creatures of Habit We fall into unconscious routines and are creatures of habit. We rely on structure of schedules, calendars, and processes to carry things out. One change can make everything feel completely different. When everything is different, we feel uncertainty creep in. What processes or structures will stay the same and what will be different? What will the “new normal” look like?

 

  1. Change creates work. People may not buy-into the change, thinking that the change is not necessary or change is occurring just for the sake of change. You may see this when people are suffering from change fatigue. They may be unwilling to learn one more thing. Change is happening so much that they do not have the time to adjust and adapt to the change because what they just changed is changing again so they start thinking, “What’s the point?” We need to be aware of having too many changes to a process. It may mean that the change needs to be thought through a bit more. What impact will the changes make? Are the changes being made necessary? What else do you need to consider when making the change?

“In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.”  – Eric Hoffer

Change represents progress and growth. If you are not changing and adapting to the world that is going on around you – you may get left behind.

“You must embrace change before change erases you.” – Rob Liano

Anchor yourself in the vision, mission, and core values that you live and abide by – this grounding exercise can provide you with the familiarity you seek. When you feel you are asked to do more with less and resources appear scarce, it is time to innovate and get creative. Do not hold back in trying to understand what is behind the push back. You may be too close to the situation to see the value in what the “devil’s advocate” is offering you.

Share the vision for what you want to achieve. Engage the individuals the change impacts whenever possible. The more they are part of the process, the less resistant they will be to implementing a change. Appreciate their thoughts, ideas, and suggestions by allowing them to share the possibilities. By gathering information from diverse groups and individuals, you strengthen the strategies for managing transition. Use push back and resistance to change as your opportunity to gain insight to the larger picture.

Have you experienced push back or resistance to change – share your story about what you did?

Share this article with someone who may be experiencing this right now!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.deb

Falling on Tough Times Means You Need to Adjust Your Focus

by Leave a Comment

We don’t have to go too far to get drawn in to negativity. You can go to any social media page and see someone ranting about the political climate or their frustrations with the economy and the impact on their lives.

Tough times don’t last forever. They don’t impact everyone at the same time. There are industries that are growing and thriving by choice. They have learned to think creatively and to be innovative with what they have. They recognize that they are the creator of their own outcomes and experiences. Personal accountability and determination are what make the best rise to the top.

Change means different things to different people but for the most part change means progress and moving forward. Change may provoke feelings of anxiety, fear, and nervousness. It is the uncertainty and the feeling of loss of control that can get a person worked up. When you are driven by your fears, you become caged in your belief that things cannot get better and your actions and behavior with match that belief. You may even start settling for less than you deserve because you’ve adopted a small picture thinking or “victim mentality”. You view the world as things happening “to you” rather than “for you” and because of this small minded thinking you could be missing out on a grand opportunity.

“Whether you think you can or you can’t – you’re right.” – Henry Ford

Small picture thinkers are reactive rather than responsive. They focus on the small things versus the impact on the bigger picture. They fail to see that all circumstances are temporary and anything that is temporary can change. They do not ask questions about how thinks can be different. Small picture thinkers focus on counting their losses versus the gains that they have. They focus on the negativity of a situation and get lost in the blur activities that take up their day and exhaust them.

Worrying and complaining changes nothing. If we want greatness and abundance, we must be looking at what already is going well and celebrate those successes and build upon them. In my training in Appreciative Inquiry, a positive approach to creating meaningful and sustainable change, we guide people through a process of discovery by asking questions and focusing on existing strengths.

“The world as we have created is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking. – Albert Einstein

Appreciative Inquiry is not about getting short-term results although many people would like immediate change (perhaps you they think it will hurt less or be more satisfied due to immediate gratification). People and organizations are living things that learn, grow, and evolve over time. Change takes time and commitment by each individual. You can start with focusing on what’s working and ask ourselves, “What do we/I need to be doing to be our best?”

What lens are you looking through? Are you looking at the upside or the downside? What strengths do you have that you can contribute to make a difference? It will be the big picture thinkers will who will keep the economy going. They know that now is not the time to stop learning, building relationships, or marketing because when the market changes (and it eventually will), they will be top of mind.

Think a little bit differently about the world around you. Ask yourself the following appreciative questions:

  1. Let’s capture your best experience. Recall a time when you felt on top of your game and most alive in your business, organization, or life. Who was involved? What made it such an exciting experience? Write down details.
  2. What do you bring to the table? Without being humble, what do you value about yourself as a person and what you contribute to your business or organization?
  3. The Magic Lamp. What three wishes would you make that would make the biggest difference in your business or organization right now?

Can you feel the shift in focus and energy? When you focus on the best of what is, you can think of ways to enjoy more of the best. Use your best experience, your strengths, and your three wishes to build and grow your business or organization to where you want to be. The same practices can be used in your personal life. Focus on what’s working right now. Celebrate and rave about it – shift the venting and gossip on social media to a positive and meaningful experience. Change starts with YOU!

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”Dr. Wayne Dyer

What is the one thing you are willing to commit to in moving toward making a positive change?

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 Magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com