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Episode 77 – Fighting Negativity

March 9, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“See if you can catch yourself complaining, in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So, change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

We have all encountered people who have the glass half full viewpoint (optimist) and those with the glass half empty viewpoint (pessimist). Which one are you? Did you know we have 50,000-70,000 thoughts a day? 98% of those thoughts you have had the day before. Eighty percent of those thoughts are negative. It sounds crazy but most of your thoughts are not conscious thoughts. You have not brought them to your attention. When you do bring those thoughts to your attention, you have a choice whether to respond or not respond to them. If you focus or put your attention on a thought, you are giving energy to it or empowering that thought even if that thought could be wrong.

Don’t believe everything you think without questioning it. Your imagination can run away from itself – thinking often the worst of a situation rather than the best. To fight negativity, you must start with dealing with the negativity within.

Defeat the Negativity Within

Start by paying attention to what your inner voice is saying in any given situation. Is it empowering you or shaming you?

You cannot think a negative thought and a positive thought at the same time. When you think a negative thought, identify the thought and challenge your thought by questioning any assumptions you may be making. Surely, you have never made an assumption that was wrong before. I have I know I am not the only one. Remember though only have the meaning we give them. So, if you do not like the thought you are thinking, think a different thought or don’t give it meaning or your attention. Shift your energy by reframing the thought positively. Reframing will help change your perspective on some of the limiting beliefs you may be having. For example,

“I am not good enough to be chosen for the promotion.”

Is this thought true?

How do you know?

What do you want to be thinking?

“I AM good enough to be chosen for the promotion.”

Feel the energy shift. Wherever you focus your time and attention to, you will get more of. What are some of the self-limiting beliefs that you are having? Write out what your self-limiting beliefs are. Challenge the assumptions you may be making. Reframe the thought to an empowering thought. What do you want to be thinking? Consider capturing your thoughts by writing them down in a journal and reframing them.

Stop exposing yourself to negativity. Steer clear from watching the news first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed. There is a lot of negative news going on the world that can really affect your mood and mindset. What kind of movies and books to you read? What are you feeding your mind with? I am hoping is entertaining you, inspiring you, or educating you to become the best you can be!

Develop an attitude of gratitude. Start and end your day in gratitude. Gratitude is about being thankful and appreciative of something tangible or intangible and how it has impacted our lives. What are you grateful for? Positive psychology research shows that people who are grateful tend to be happier. Tell people in your life that you are grateful for them in your life or send them a thank you card. Too busy to write (even though I still suggest you send a card) – you may choose to thank them mentally.

The Negative Relationships – The Toxic People

Attitudes are contagious. Be careful who you surround yourself with; ensure you are spending time with positive people who encourage and support you. One of the greatest lessons I have learned is to not take other people’s negativity personally. Their reaction to things is about what is going on for them in their mind and life and often has very little to do with you. A toxic person is someone who makes a person feel bad about themselves by talking down to them, criticizing them, or belittling them. They may tell you that you can’t do things or you’re not good enough or talented enough to be successful. Do you know where that is coming from? It comes from their own fears of you succeeding or even that fact that they are not and did not go after their own goals.

Gandhi once said, “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with dirty feet.” You get to choose whether you will respond or react. Sometimes the toxic people may be people you are related to. Often the best things to do in these cases are to change the subject of the conversation or set boundaries by expressing what you are willing to talk about and what you are not willing to talk about. You are in control of letting that messaging in or keeping it out and how it impacts you. Limit your contact with toxic people.

The Negative Environment

Somethings you can control and somethings you cannot. You want to focus on what you can control.

Focus on solutions and the next positive step. It is easy to replay negative experiences over and over in our heads like a movie – reliving every moment. Is that what you really want? Learn to let go of past hurts. They occurred in the past and they cannot be changed.

Focus on the present – it what you can control. Redirect the topic and take control of the situation.

Keep the lines of communication open. Talk about your concerns openly and ask questions to avoid any misunderstandings. Again, your imagination can run wild if you do not ask questions to ensure you understand things correctly.

Deal with issues/concerns head on. Do not avoid having important conversations that you need to have. They can fester and exploded into much bigger problems and damage morale if not tended to immediately.

Follow up with others that you work and spend time with. This “pulse check” can help you determine if everyone is getting along or there are any concerns you may not be aware of. By being aware, positive changes can create positive results. Be proactive.

Be careful not to minimize the positive. Fighting negativity is a work in progress. It is too easy to fall into the trap of getting caught up in negative thinking, gossiping with others, and creating a toxic environment if you do not pay attention to where your thoughts are at any given moment.

Empower yourself by thinking empowering thoughts. When you think positive, you are giving a boost to your mood and you will take more affirmative actions to support your goals and objectives.

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time: 12:25 min

Episode 75 – Communicating Your Vision Effectively

March 2, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Good leaders must communicate vision clearly, creatively, and continually. However, the vision doesn’t come alive until the leader models it.” John C. Maxwell

Leaders can have great ideas but unless they can create a compelling vision for their people – ideas remain ideas. Leadership is about being about to communicate what that vision is on a consistent basis. You are pointing the way and leading them toward the vision. You must first believe in the vision yourself in order to share it.

Gain Clarity of Your Vision. You cannot share a vision with others unless you clearly understand it yourself. It does not have to be perfect to gain buy-in, people need to see the vision of what you are talking about. If they cannot understand the picture of what you are creating, you will not gain buy-in. What is the vision?

Make Your Vision Compelling by Sharing Stories. Describe your vision in as much detail as possible. The use of stories will create a connection between you and the people you are communicating the vision to. People will learn ‘why’ your vision is so meaningful to you. They will start to visualize how they fit into the story. Otherwise, they feel like they are on the outside looking in. It is like looking through a candy store window and not being able to touch or taste any of it. Keep your message simple but powerful. What stories or experiences can you share that help share that create a compelling reason for making the vision a reality?

Communicate with Enthusiasm. Be positive about your message. If you are not excited about your vision, you cannot expect others to be. Be passionate and enthusiastic about what you are doing. You want people to be engaged because they say “I want to” rather than them say “I have to” attitude. Otherwise, they will not put in their best efforts as they have no vested interest. People will be drawn to the positive energy you share and will want to learn more. Write out your vision so you can you are describing the vision exactly how you see it and the possibilities. What excites you about the vision?

Communicate a Variety of Ways and Channels. People like to receive information in different ways. They also each interpret messages in different ways. It is best practice to share your vision through a variety of channels. If you communicate the vision randomly, it will get lost in the whirlwind of other daily activities or your message may get diluted.

One of the most popular and possibly overused ways is through email. Not that it is not effective, it may not have the impact when buried in the others 400 emails you have. You may choose share your vision through one-on-one meetings, town hall meetings, video presentations, or even webinars. It can take from 7-9 contacts with information before they start adopting or moving into action. Overcommunicate your message to ensure it sticks. What are the best ways for you to communicate the vision and reach your people?

Help People See Themselves as Part of the Future and Part of Making an Impact on the Greater Good. Team members and followers have their own vision – the starts with “What is in it for me?” Talk in terms of how “we” are going to make the vision a reality. People want to be a part of something bigger than themselves by knowing they play a key role in making it happen. Collaborate with and engage your people in the process and help them understand their role and responsibility in making the vision become a part of reality. Two-way dialogue is very important. They want to know how what they do will impact the vision and if their work is meaningful or matters. What part does your team member or team play in making the vision come true?

Keep the communicate lines open. Allow people to ask questions and offer their suggestions. You never know what other experiences people have until the right opportunity comes up to share it. What can you learn from the questions and feedback people share to strengthen your vision?

You have a vision. You must now lead the way. Other are watching and waiting to find out how they will make an impact and when it is their turn. Invite them into the conversation and call them to action – to be a part of the vision.

Time: 10:02 minutes

Are You Giving Away the Farm?

February 8, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

How much is too much? As a business owner and entrepreneur I have asked myself this question over and over. In my mind the voices battle it out saying, “Don’t be too salesy. You are a teacher at heart.” When it is right to sell and when is it right to educate? How much should I be sharing?

I say…give it all away!

No, I am not talking about giving away all your products and services for free!

I am saying you need to be sharing your best stuff! Your best information, tips, and techniques!

I can hear you from here…What? Has she gone mad?

No I have not gone mad!

I want to share with you what sharing your best stuff does!

Breakdown Barriers and Build Trust – As people see you interact online, read your articles or books, or hear you speak; they get to know you, your personality, and what matters to you. Ensure that you are sharing content that speaks to your core values and about what you stand for. People get to know, like, and trust you when you share content that resonates with them. It can about anything from the challenges you face whether it be creating engaging teams to your personal journey of empowering yourself at the gym. They want to know that they can trust and believe in you to do what you say you’re capable of doing. That is when they will consider working with you. Building the connection and relationship is important.

Establish Credibility – When you write articles, speak on stage, write a book, or share information with others even one on one, you are building your credibility. You are perceived as someone knowledgeable and helpful. If people implement what you share and get results, BOOM! You create loyalty. They will want to tell others about you and the VALUE you provide. You never know who you may inspire.

Extend Your Reach. Ideas are abundant. You will be continuously coming up with more awesome high value content. If your content helps people take a leap in the business or take the next step in their career and get the results they are looking for, don’t you think that they will want to share what your information, tips, and techniques have done for them? They will be champions of yours and want to share your content. The more people who have your content, the more chances your content will get shared with others. Be sharable! At some point, you may put out an offer and people may jump at the opportunity to work with you directly because they have gotten to know you and the social proof is already there.

The question comes back to selling versus educating…

It is important to meet the emotional needs of your clients by sharing information with them that will help them make an informed decision. Is that selling or educating? There is a fine line. Can you do both? Absolutely! Pay attention to how you feel in the process and take note of the body language and how your clients appears to be feeling. If you notice that they seem disinterested or they are turning their body away from you, you may have given them too much and they are overwhelmed or you are not meeting their needs. You will know if you hit one extreme or the other.

Ask questions to make sure you are on the right track in meeting their needs. Find the right balance for each conversation you have and have them coming back for more of your great content!

Episode 65 – The Rollercoaster Ride of an Entrepreneur

January 26, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“There’s lots of bad reasons to start a company. But there’s only one good, legitimate reason, and I think you know what it is: it’s to change the world.” – Phil Libin, CEO of Evernote

When you became an entrepreneur, you never bargained that your choice would be compared to that of the roller coaster ride. I not a big fan of roller coasters; however, when my kids wanted to go on them, I would pull out my watch and I would look at how long it would take for the roller coaster complete its course. I would take a look at the loops in size them up figure out the risk and what I could tolerate and what I could not. At Knott’s Berry Farm, there was the Sidewinder roller coaster – 45 seconds. I told myself I can do anything for 45 seconds. The choice of becoming an entrepreneur is a big decision and it’s definitely more than 45 seconds in length. It’s not about instant gratification but it’s more like planting a seed and nurturing and watching it grow.

11986494 - rollercoaster ride (against blue sky) Many people believe that 90% of businesses will fail in their first five years. According to US statistics, the survival rate of the business increases as many years as it can continue which averages about 50 to 60% survival rate in five years. You may be asking yourself why is that so challenging to be an entrepreneur. Wouldn’t it be easier just to secure the 9-to-5 job?

No, not really. There may be many reasons that you decided to take the leap or start a business off the side of your desk for hopes of complete transition in the future. Many entrepreneurs choose the lifestyle and the business because they saw something different about the way things could be done, or they wanted the freedom to call their own shots. Maybe you wanted the life balance. For those of you who don’t know entrepreneurs, they work long hard hours more than the 9-to-5 person but they do have that flexibility to call the shots.

Where businesses fail is when they try to scale up their business too quickly, they don’t know their numbers, they try to do everything themselves, they fail to execute because everything needs to be perfect or they sabotage their success in getting their own way. You don’t just build it and they will come. You need to put in the work.

When I became an entrepreneur there was lots to learn and the majority of what I learned was not what I learned in school. My experiences have come from real life mistakes and successes and many trials and errors. To the outside world, it may look perfect but on the inside was someone working really hard to pay attention to every detail so that if there was a mistake or issue that could be resolved quickly or no one would notice.

The biggest thing with any business- is knowing your vision, mission, and core values. What’s that? Your compass. What is it that you do and how do you do it? Most importantly, it’s about knowing your why. Why do you choose to do which you do? When you use this as your center of guidance you will make in decisions that will help guide you.

As you get started in your business it is just like going up the first slope, it gets very exciting you may make a few sales see some money coming and get excited and suddenly challenges:

Why isn’t everything going smoothly?

Where is the money going to come for that? What you mean this cost so much? We need a return on investment?

What is the profit and loss statement?

Is it marketing or branding?

Should I hire or fire?

You start learning what you don’t know. The negative self-talk comes in and you can hear yourself saying: I’m not smart enough I’m not lucky I did not have the resources I don’t I don’t I don’t the list could go on. Your focus on all the reasons you can’t succeed “the lack” of this can be completely draining. Whatever you believe in your mindset, you will be looking for evidence to support it. Trust me you will find it. Let’s not go were negative self-talk takes you it’s only in a downward spiral.

Things you need to do to help propel you can keep you buckled into enjoy the ride of your roller coaster.

Quit beating yourself up!

Remember everyone started somewhere.

Silence your mind of chatter.

Determine what you want to accomplish.

Make a plan for deliberate action.

Each day take 3 to 5 steps toward your vision.

Create a structure that supports your actions.

Develop habits that support you. How many hours of sleep does your body needs to function at optimal level? How often do you need to exercise to stay mentally focused and strong? What are you doing to ensure that your help eating healthy and drinking enough water to stay hydrated?

Celebrate the wins along the way.

Ensure that you are measuring what you’re doing. What gets measured gets done.

Find a mentor or hire a coach to help hold you accountable or teach you some of the things you need to know.

Commit to continuous learning.

Establish routines and structure that will help support you in reaching your goals.

Embrace any uncertainty that you have as there will be many uncertainties on the roller coaster of the entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs know that long-range success isn’t about instant gratification it’s about starting small and continuously growing. When you stop taking action, that’s when you break the momentum.

All I know is if you don’t hang on to what’s important to you and why you’re doing it, you will not enjoy the journey and you may reach the destination but it won’t have any fulfillment. You need to have that stick with it attitude to get through the tough times and know that you’re not the only one who’s going through these issues. Tap into your network get the support that you need and be the change you want to see in the world.

Time: 10:00

Keywords: entrepreneur, business, mindset, motivation, biztips, challenge, entrepreneur rollercoaster, marketing, branding, sales, entrepreneurial lifestyle, entrepreneurship, work-life balance

Episode 61 – Master Your Time Minimize Your Stress

January 12, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Time is the most valuable coin in your life. You and you alone will determine how that coin will be spent. Be careful that you do not let other people spend it for you.”
― Carl Sandburg

Do you waste time? We all talk about how we wish we had more time yet we all are given the same amount of time. It is about how we allot that time to what’s important to us. People like Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Junior, Michael Jordan, and Albert Einstein all had the same amount of time as you do. It is all about how you chose to use that time to be of service or to better yourselves.

When we think about time, we often think about multitasking how to get more packed into the time that we have. The truth is – multitasking is a myth. Think about it when you read and listen to music you are only concentrating on reading or listening to music. You cannot be focused on both the same time. The same holds true for sitting in a business meeting and texting someone. You are actually switching the gears and shifting from one activity to in the next with your attention and focus. This is why we see a huge emergence on the topic of mindfulness. If you want to master your time, you need to be present in the moment and focus on what you’re doing. It’s about really thinking about what you’re doing and how you’re feeling before you act and determining what are the outcomes you want to achieve.

Time escapes no one. Entrepreneurs, business owners, and executives are confronted with managing their time more effectively and more efficiently all time. They need to be organized and have to have systems in place to be efficient. They have constant demands on their time and resources. You are asked to do more with less on a regular basis. If you work from home, you don’t have anyone to hold you accountable and therefore you may stay hidden behind the computer and waste your time more than you think.

There are several strategies that you can use to stay focused and become better organized:

Set regular office hours. I know that part of having your own business is about being able to be flexible and adaptable with your time. You need to create some structure to your working time so that you can use it most effectively. Often when people work from home family members or friends may think that you’re not actually working and available to run errands or grab a cup coffee. Sometimes you can be spontaneous but there will be other times that you will not be because you have commitments and deadlines to meet.
Use your calendar intentionally. If you don’t write things down chances are they’re not getting it done. Block off time for self-care, physical activity, and time with family and friends.
Keep a clock or set a timer nearby. You may want to set the timer on your phone. When you create that sense of urgency, you will stay focused on the amount of time that you have to get things done.
Plan your day the night before. Too many people take this step for granted. If you plan the night before of what you need to do, you don’t have to spend time thinking about it when you’re ready to take on your day you move into action.
Organize your files in groupings or categories. You may want to create files by project or by sales, marketing, finance, or social media as examples. This way when you want to work on that particular topic you can just grab the file. Put some index cards or post-it notes with each file should you need to make notes and it will be readily available.
Turn off pop-up notifications on mobile devices and your desktop. These notifications are very distracting as you want to know who texted you or who sent you a message. Suddenly it feels like there’s something urgent to tend to.
Limit the times you check your e-mail and social media throughout the day. When you stay focused on the certain times you will find that you are more productive throughout the day.
Batch tasks together. If you are preparing content for articles or podcast, block off 2 to 3 hours only for that activity. Block off an additional time for coaching and if you have sales calls that need to be made you may dedicate a certain time of day for doing that.
Use the checklist for repetitive tasks in order to reduce error and stay on track. In Atul Gawande’s book, The Checklist Manifesto, he talks about how the checklist can help minimize error and ensure that all important activities get done. When things get routine, it is easy to become complacent or assume that things are getting done.
Allow buffer time of 5 to 10 min. in between activities. Give yourself some time to finish off the task and cleared your mind and your desk so you can move on to the next activity effectively.
Take breaks every 30 minutes. You may get up for a stretch, a short walk, or a glass of water to give yourself a chance to recharge. Going full tilt all the time is not sustainable and if you don’t allow yourself breaks and time off you can burn yourself out. You will not be effective for anyone.
Dress for success. Although it may be cool to stay in your pajamas all day, dress to impress you. When you dress well you will perform well. Stay on top of your game.
Remember to get enough sleep. You deal with the stressors of the day more effectively if you are well rested.

When it comes to mastering time and minimizing stress, you need to be able to deal with the interruptions of the day. They’re going to happen so you might as well plan for them.

You can put up a “Do Not Disturb” sign when you need to stay focused and get something done in order to meet a deadline.

When someone says, “I just talk to you for a minute.”, and you know you’re busy; let them know what you’re working on, and arrange of mutual time for further discussion.

There will be times when someone asks for that minute and you really need to listen and determine what the impact would be if you held it off. You can choose to be distracted and have your work disrupted or you can choose to be proactive. You might decide to have a certain time of day set aside when people can come to you with their issues.

There may be times when you look need to learn to say “No” and not take on more than you can handle.

The other thing you can do is move to a space where you can do the work totally uninterrupted without distraction. Deadlines are pressing and sometimes you need to have time alone to get what you need to do – done.

The whirlwinds of the world will continue to show up. You need to remember that you are the master of your time and you can minimize the stress that comes with it feels like your time is being stolen. Be proactive rather than reactive with your time. Get up early to seize the day! You have 24 hours what are you going to do with?

Time: 11:38 min

Keywords: time management, timer, organizational strategies, entrepreneur hacks, biz tips, business, professional development, master your time, minimize your stress, how to manage time, dealing with interruptions, time management skills, checklists, planning, time management strategies