building trust Archives - Debra Kasowski

EPISODE 166 – Simplify Your Leadership Challenges

July 8, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

As you move through different levels of leadership, you learn that new challenges required different approaches and different skillsets. What worked previously may not work again. Challenges appear to more complex in nature. As a leader, you must be able to think on your feet and also be proactive in anticipating situations to minimize how complex the situation can get. Most processes and systems are simple but when you add people to the mix things can get a bit complicated.

Today, you can be working with individuals of 3 or more generations and each communicating and making decisions differently. Although they have different needs, some characteristics do not change, each generation has core values that guide them, they want to be respected for who they are, their ideas, and what they can bring to the table, they want to be heard and receive feedback on their performance. Most people communicate the way they want to be communicated to. If you receive a text, they would appreciate a text. If they left you a voicemail, you would be best to call rather than respond by email. Keep it simple; respond in the same mode of communication they sent the message. Whenever unsure, pick up the phone and call or arrange a face to face meeting.

How you respond to leadership challenges depends on what you know and the experience you have as you have grown in the organizational culture. These experiences have helped you develop your emotional intelligence or what some people refer to as the “soft skills” or “common sense”. Common sense does not appear to be that common. There is nothing soft about soft skills. Soft skills are hard to master and can be difficult to learn. Learning requires that a people be self-reflective and self-aware of their own behaviours and how they communicate with others. Developing soft skills can bring about the BEST in you and your people. With self-awareness, there is accountability and an increase in responsibility for one’s actions.

When hiring for the right fit, you are not only looking for technical skills but you are looking for those intangibles – soft skills that are reflected in their general disposition, attitude, and personality. You do not want to hire someone who lacks awareness and erodes trust by being passive aggressive or gossips. You want to know that you can trust their word and their work ethic to get things done, done well, and they value the people they work with. Trust is the foundation of everything without it the department or organization can crumble.

You need to be able to communicate what the vision is for the organization and what success would look like when achieved. To gain buy-in, people need to be invested in the vision. When you can communicate it in a clear and concise way then you can plan and strategize how to make the vision become a reality.

Ultimately, how you perceive the challenges you face as a leader and how your people perceive the challenges are key. Your perception drives your willingness to take action and the decisions you make. You need to be able to weigh the options based on what you perceive a situation to be and the impact that will occur based on your decision. Be careful as your perceptions can be influenced by your emotions. Don’t forget to review the facts before acting impulsively. You simplify your leadership challenges by stepping out of your comfort zone and exposing yourself to as many new situations as you can so you can develop and hone your skills. Boosting your emotional intelligence will help you unravel the complexity of some of your leadership challenges. Remember to keep it simple.

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get my just release FREE e-book about the 21 Habits High Achievers Kick to Achieve Success. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Episode 88 – Building Trust Within a Team

April 18, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Trust is the glue that holds people together and is the lubricant that keeps an organization moving forward.” Colin Powell

There are a variety of definitions of trust in the dictionary. What it basically comes down to is the belief that you are confident and feel assured in a situation or with a person. A sense of security – saying “I’ve got your back.”

Trust within a team starts with the leader. As a leader, you must lead by example. To develop a high performing team there MUST be trust amongst the members of the team. Trust is the foundation of any winning team. It creates an environment where team members can share their thoughts and concerns even if they challenge the thoughts of the leader or other team members. A diversity of ideas and opinions can be a benefit to achieve results as different perspectives are considered. When there is trust, a team collaborates, cooperates, and works toward a common goal.
When new teams are formed or new members join a team, it is easy to believe that team member should trust each other by default. This belief is not always the case. You need to remember that team members come to a team with past knowledge, experience, skills, and abilities. It can be hard for a person trust new team members when they have had their trust betrayed. Individuals who mistrust may have experienced a traumatic event, had teammates that did not follow through on commitments or had been disappointed because a team member did not live up to their standards.

“Trust is the glue of life. It’s an essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” – Stephen Covey

Open communication is imperative. Patrick Lencioni addresses the absence of trust as one of the dysfunctions of a team. To build trust within a team, you must seek to understand the perceptions, assumptions, and opinions of your members. Be curious like a learner. Set aside any judgments, assumptions, or bias you have as they may cloud or discoveries. Team members should begin with the main assumption that each person comes to a team with the positive intention to do good work. There is a common trust we assume that people will not steal from or damage the place in which they work. Lencioni discusses “vulnerability-based” trust is his book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team. Vulnerability-based trust is when you feel that you can share your strengths and forthcomings with a team, take a risk, ask for help, or make mistakes. When you are in a team that is built on this kind of trust, you create a circle of safety to which people belong and feel comfortable to share your ideas and concerns.

Establishing ground rules and having an open discussion about what trust means to each team member and as a group is beneficial. Ground rules like no blaming, complaining, or finger pointing help members take personal accountability, and no gossiping about others help to ensure cliques do not form. Encourage team building exercises that help people get to know each other as people not only as a colleague in their role. Ensure that team member are clear about their roles and expectations and that when leaving a meeting that they know what they have committed to doing. Create milestones where you can touch base with one another to ensure everyone is on task. If there is a breakdown in trust or conflict, it should be addressed as soon as possible. Putting aside these conversations because they are uncomfortable could lead to a crisis that could have been averted. Deal with trust issues and conflict as soon as they arise to keep your foundation strong.

You have a personal team which includes your: doctor, dentist, eye doctor, hairstylist, banker, accountant, mortgage broker, realtor, etc. You need to have trust in them to take care of you for you to look, feel, and perform at your best.

High performing teams are built on trust. What does trust look like to you? How much do you know about your team members as a person? How are these individual like you? What core values do you share? What is their “Why” for doing what they do? During this process, you may learn that we are more alike than different.

“When you’re surrounded by people who share a passionate commitment around a common purpose, anything is possible.” – HOWARD SCHULTZ

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

Time: 11:18 min

EPISODE 17: Harness the Power of Momentum

August 11, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Episode 17 – Harness the Power of Momentum

There are no limits to what you can achieve if you stay focused on what you are trying to achieve. You need to believe the impossible is possible for you. Your results may be better than you expect. Success has no guarantees; each action you take starts creating a momentum. If you stop taking action, you stop the momentum.

“Always work hard. Intensity clarifies. It creates not only momentum, but also the pressure you need to feel either friction, or fulfillment.”

— Marcus Buckingham

During my coaching program, we learned about Creative Tension – It moves us to take action. It helps us get out of our comfort zone and stretch us. Challenge us.

Why do we need it? What does it do?

Momentum helps us:

Push through and overcome obstacles. You may have heard about runners or even swimmer pushing through a certain distance to push forward what they may not have thought possible exclaiming, “What else can I do? What else can I do?” What else is possible for you?
Increase your motivation and confidence in your abilities. It helps you to try new things!

You are responsible for creating it through consistent actions. A rapid succession of successes and lessons drives momentum. Energy increases; it will be natural for others to want to follow you. You will become magnetic. You will start to inspire others around you.

Momentum is ignited when you have a clear vision – you know what you want to achieve, you are able to articulate and share your vision, and you can enroll others in your vision.

Do you want to get more clarity? Read my book GPS Your Best Life

Believe in your ability to make things happen. Your confidence, energy, and enthusiasm with excite others around you.

You are probably thinking to yourself – but how do I create a momentum – especially when times are tough or you are feeling challenged more than you think you can handle.

I want to share with you some of the ways that have worked for me and some of the clients I have worked with.

Challenge yourself – Be committed to continuous learning, stay curious and have a learner mindset. Try new things regularly.
Make a rule to quit complaining, blaming, and stop making excuses. You either get results or excuses.
Reduce your distractions. Declutter your space or your email. Clear whatever is in your way.
Be grateful for what you have; the more you will have to be grateful for.
Celebrate your successes – little things lead to big things! It will drive you to take more action. Breath in and acknowledge the successes before moving on to the next thing.
Deliver value and look for ways to exceed expectations. You will generate excitement in others and they will be grateful and share their experience with you – with others.
Do you least favorite activity first – EAT THAT FROG – Brain Tracy

Everything will move so much quicker with the momentum.

Set Milestones – You create anticipation. You may even meet goals quicker.
Measure your outcomes – what gets measured gets managed.
Fake it until you make it – take the actions you need to get to where you want to go. Who is a leader you admire? How can emulate some of the actions that they have taken to achieve success – do your homework. If you want to be a great leader, start being one now.
Make a plan – Work the plan. Otherwise, you will be chasing butterflies. Do you due diligence and your resources.
Don’t forget to dream – Sometimes when people are too realistic to the bone, it drags people down. Dreams can propel you further rather than looking at your current circumstances.
Follow up with people you have met at events or make inquiries – you will be surprised when you connect with others. They energy rises and people take an interest in what you are doing.

What happens when you stop running on a treadmill or riding a bike?

You stop moving – you fall off.

Worry and doubt can paralyze you from taking forward action. They drain your energy. Challenge yourself – test your theories. Ask questions. Gain knowledge – but don’t stop unless you know you are in danger.

No one is going to jail or getting hurt or killed in the process chances are whatever happens you can course correct.

We all start somewhere. There have been many successful people who did not start with any resources – no network of people, no money, no knowledge, did not know English or a language of the place they settled in. They built it and so can you.

“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.” — Og Mandino

Success is not about how many resources you have; it is about being resourceful and leveraging your resources in the most effective way. Focus on taking action and over time a compound effect with occur. If you are focused only on short-term activities to get immediate results, you will lose momentum quickly especially if you do not set a new target that stretched you.

Your efforts make a difference in how you feel about your progress and what you are going to achieve.

Let your efforts multiply!

Success comes from taking the initiative and following up…persisting…eloquently expressing the depth of your love. What simple action could you take today to produce a new momentum toward success in your life?

— Tony Robbins

You need to continually set new challenges to learn and grow. Acknowledge how far you have come. Reflect on what you can do better and work to improve.

Time: 16:31 min

EPISODE 16: Challenges Make You Stronger

August 9, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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EPISODE 16 – Challenges Make You Stronger

37602986 - female rock climber climbs on a rocky wall Challenges are a part of everyday life. A challenge is something that pushes you out of your comfort zone. It can be something you challenge yourself with such as a goal or it could be something presented to you such as learning something new, getting a handle on finances, acquiring your next client, or seeking a promotion. Some challenges are easier than others. Some challenges knock us down for the count. Think about how many times you get up to face a challenge – that will determine whether or not you will push through it.

If you let the first time you knock you down; you will be paralyzed. I remember the first time someone unsubscribed to my newsletter. I was just devastated because of the one subscription. In that moment, I had forgotten about the hundreds of people who were subscribed. Maybe it was not the right fit for them. What I realize now is that people come into your life for a certain amount of time, a reason or a purpose and some people fade away. Understand that when we face those challenges not to take it so personally and feel defeated. It is about being able to rise up and embrace the challenges and move forward.

It was once said by someone that, “Challenges make you more responsible. Always remember that life without struggle is a life without success. Don’t give up and learn not to quit.”

Challenges make a person more resilient. You recognize your emotions that arise in different situations and how to manage them to become a better communicator or influencer. You become more self-aware of what you want and what you do not want. You develop clarity. You learn from mistakes. Don’t punish yourself. You are growing and stepping into the potential of who you are meant to be.

You can either let a challenge pull you down or you can use it to rise up.

45535742 - woman holding shopping bags at a boutique There was a personal challenge I faced when swimsuit shopping with my daughter. I had sent my daughter to go and purchase herself a swimsuit for a surprise trip. I was unable to go with her. She came home a tossed the bag to me and I did not think anything of it. She did not even show me what it looked like until we were leaving and then I realized that there was a $200 + price tag to this swimsuit. I was like, “What?” I am sorry I do not understand what 16 year old needs a two hundred dollar swimsuit. Anyhow, we ended up going on our trip and did not end up going swimming anyway but I knew a swimsuit you cannot return.

We had come home and we were leaving in a couple more weeks to go on vacation. We ended up going back to the same store where she had purchased the swimsuit. As she was trying on bathing suits, I could feel myself boiling inside even though the staff was wonderful to her. I was thinking to myself, “Why would anyone want in in a suit that makes her so much older that she did not feel energized and excited in?” She did not even feel comfortable in it. We ended up going swimming shortly after our surprise trip and she discovered that the suit did not fit properly.

As I was standing there, I could feel myself boiling inside. It is about being able to recognize those emotions. It was a challenge for me to think about how I was going to manage these emotions. It was my problem. The people in the store do not know what is bothering me. As it was getting close to closing time, the staff was being very patient and had no problem waiting for to finish trying on another suit. We did not end up buying a suit. [We had gone to another store and paid $20 for a swimsuit and going on our vacation. She was youthful, energized, and loved the suit that she had.]

ID-10089448 Meanwhile, I was quite frustrated as I was waiting for my daughter to finish up so I started to talk to the clerk. I proceeded to tell her about how I was feeling and how I was boiling inside. If I felt this energy, I could not imagine how and if they felt it. I began to share the story of what happened when my daughter had come for a swimsuit. The young lady at the till was phenomenal. She said “You should not have had that type of experience that is not how we work here.” She took my information. I informed her that we were leaving the next day on vacation. I told that I would not be able to deal with this right now. She said that it was okay and that she would speak to her manager to see what she could do for me.

She had phoned the very next day explaining that they were going to be doing something for me. I decided while I was on vacation that I would not deal with it until I got home. When I came home I called them, they had offered me a 20% discount. I thought you know it is a swimsuit; they are not going to return it. We already spent $200 in their store for something we were not happy with. She asked me if I was going to pick up the 20% off coupon and I stated, “I am not sure I am going to but thank you very much for your time. We will just take this as a loss.”

Not even 5 minutes later, she had called back. A district manager had heard her talking to me; she had explained that she could not return the bottoms. I stated that I understood based on my healthcare background. If I brought back the top, they would give me a full refund for the cost of the top to purchase anything else in the store. I said that was reasonable and that was something I could handle.

Again I was unable to go with my daughter so I spoke with the young lady that was working with her that I would be unable to be there. My daughter went in and they spent a lot of individualized – personalized attention with her. She came home with a new top to match her bottoms and a racer swimsuit for swimming lengths. She pulled it out and went to try it on to show me right away. She ended up getting two suits in the end.

What impressed me most was the young lady that was working with us. She put in a lot of effort; she was phenomenal. When I speak in front of groups, I talk about this young lady all the time. I went into the store a few days later and I had asked one of the other girls, “Can you tell me who the top person is, that I can talk to in your company? They gave me the President – they gave me all these people. I sent the lengthy e-mail. They are just in the swimsuit industry. They are in the industry of self-esteem, confidence, and help people feeling comfortable in the skin and that they are in.

I find it so powerful to be able to know that you’re doing more than just providing a product – more than a business transaction so I e-mailed a lengthy e-mail. I wanted this individual to be recognized. We were going to recognize her in our own way but we wanted somebody you higher up to realize the potential of this young lady and the difference she was making them from of life. I received an e-mail back from the owner of the company and she had forwarded our e-mail to the whole distribution list of all of their employees to realize that this is what they’re in business for and that they would recognize this young lady and in some way.

My daughter had gone a few days later and handed a little gift to this employee. She was nearly in tears for being recognized for going above and beyond her call of duty. How often do we do that – where we want to go the extra mile for our clients or customers making them feel that they matter?

These challenges that we face make us so much better. They make us so much stronger and we would never realize the impact it can have on other people because what I realized is that if I never speak up when I recognize an emotion that I have, either to clarify something with someone or to express how I’m feeling about a situation, this all would never have happened. When we talk about emotional intelligence, people say, “Oh, that’s the soft stuff!” Even though it is soft, it’s about people and making sure that people matter and how were communicating is a big deal. Think about how you communicate and how some of those challenges have come through communication.

Big Breath! I know that was heavy!

SPONSOR – LET’S BE CURIOUS! www.letsbecurious.ca

It really does amaze me how including me, can take things for granted until we are faced with a challenge. I remember completing a triathlon after not putting in a lot of training several years after I had done the course. Holy Man! I was in awe of what I had accomplished that I never credited myself for. The hard work and dedication it took to take on the challenge and to really acknowledge the sacrifices that went with it. Swim, bike, run. I was never a star athlete. I challenged myself to do what I saw other do. If they could do it, so could I.

One of the biggest challenges I see people face is often self-induced through the comparison trap. Comparing our self to others leads to a no win situation. Your intentions end up reflecting a competition and beating someone versus becoming better and being a natural choice. Start turning inward and set challenges for yourself – each day to become a better version of your Self today than you were yesterday. Become a better listener. Become a better employee. Become a better spouse. Become a better parent. Become a better boss. Hone your skills. Fine tune your strengths. The competition is with your Self. Beat your old self – running your own race.

Stop complaining about your circumstances. There are people who are in more delicate situations that you are right now. Some people are wishing they could walk or even run a race. Some people are fighting for their breath. Some people would love to have the job or business you do; due to health issues may not be able to do so.

Quit making excuses about all the reasons success has not happened for you yet. True success – sustainable success takes time and consistency. Are you using your time productively or are you getting sucked into the vortex of social media? Following blue links or just checking to see if someone just someone liked your post.

Stop blaming others for your position in life. You may hear people blaming their parents, spouse, kids, or boss for their position in life or their lack of resources for not being further ahead. You are in charge of you and the decisions that you make.

Who you are… is directly related to the life you have led and the choices you have made. As a child, your parents may have taught you a certain way of doing things. As you became your own person, you started to make your own decisions and choices. You could believe old patterns and beliefs or you could choose your own story of how things played out and how things have yet to be. Others have made choices and passed on their beliefs based on what they believe to be true. Do not be afraid to question, challenge assumptions, or offer a new perspective. You may have heard the story about a young adult preparing a roast after they were newly married. They cut off each end of the roast and placed in the roasting pan. When questioned and the person asked, “Why did you cut the ends off?” They replied that is how we have always done it – my mother did it that way and her mother did it that way.

What are you doing just because others do it that way?

Start viewing your challenges as blessings or opportunities. Write in a journal and start coming up with solutions to your challenges. Choose the story you want to hear and live. Remember your perception and what you believe is your reality. Is it the right belief? Is that what you want to believe?

Stay focused on the positive aspects of what you are trying to achieve. Be a “positive Choose to approach each day – “Today is going to be a great day!” – Speak it into existence. Connect with others and build relationships now – before you need them. If you do not have a support system, start creating one – people you know, like, and trust and who challenge you to become a better version of yourself.

“Handicaps often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.”

C.S. Lewis

Time: 19:34 min

EPISODE 15: Imagine the Possibilities

August 4, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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DKI Episode 15 – Imagine the Possibilities

Logic will get you from A to B; imagination will take you everywhere.” Albert Einstein

41442682 - homemade kettle corn popcorn in a bag What I want to focus on today is helping you stretch out of your comfort zone and thinking about shifting from any impossible thinking that you might have to into the world of possibility. You want to be in that dream state to be able to explore what is possible. This is when your mind is like a popcorn machine – all those kernels popping around like all the ideas coming out of your head. I love to brainstorm. It is one of my most favorite things to do next to mind mapping. Your dreams are only limited by your mind. I am not talking about fluff dreams. I am talking about concrete dreams that you turn into goals and take steps to actually get to where you want to go. You tap into your full potential.

There is a quote that says you would completely astound yourself if you truly knew what you are capable of. We don’t use everything that we’re capable of doing because there’s so many things that we can do and tap into we have so many hidden talents and so little time. I don’t have the time or when even find the time. If not now, when? If not you, who else is going to be doing it? Sometimes people say, “I’ve made mistakes or failed. It would be impossible for me to resurrect myself to be seen in the same light or achieve the same things that I have. You heard stories of people who have become millionaires, maybe have gone bankrupt, and they were able to build an empire. You know not everyone is in that the state of being the millionaire. Often people say things about The Millionaire Woman Show, it isn’t about one million bucks; it’s about living rich from the inside out – feeling like a million bucks and growing into the person you are meant to be through leadership, business, and developing human potential. You must put out the intention to grow into it.

“Your mistake does not define who you are, you are your possibilities.”

Oprah Winfrey

I want you to give yourself permission to dream. Who would’ve thought about websites like Pinterest, Etsy, and all these different websites of people getting creative and innovative all these possibilities around us? Think about what is possible. This is where all these great inventions have come from. This is how entrepreneurs are born because they are always looking for a better way of how to improve something or create a solution to something. Think of the creator of Spanx, Sara Blakely, she was trying to create a solution by the cutting off the legs of nylons so she could wear nylons under her pants. This creativity led to a whole new line of body shapewear. Many women are grateful for this! It was innovative and creative. It turned into a business solution for women around the world. What could be possible if you allow yourself to dream?

“Some people see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say why not?” George Bernard Shaw

Consider the things that you want to do in your life” What are the possibilities? Ask yourself: If not you, who? If not now, when? Why not? Think about those things. Stretch out of your comfort zone. Start dreaming! You are only limited by your mind. Imagine the possibilities. I want you to take the time to really dream about what is possible for you. If you could be, do, or have anything that would that look like?

58742224 - create design strategy vision concept Create a vision board. A vision board is just not a collage pretty pictures; it is something that allows your mind to expand. It is a collage and not a piece of art. I do not want you to frame it and thinking this is beautiful. I want you to use it as a tool and then set goals based on what is on your board. Break your goals down into smaller pieces. Check out of goalsetting and make plans to start taking action toward what it is you truly want to happen to those possibilities actually making them become reality.

We would love to hear from you and let us know how this podcast is serving you. Give us ideas of some of the topics you’d like to hear and even people you want us to interview because our phase 2 of the show is that we will start interviewing people later on in a couple weeks here. We would love to hear from you. Together we can help serve the world on the global stage of this podcast The Millionaire Woman Show helping you live rich from the inside out so give a five-star rating on iTunes or Google Play. Subscribe to us on iTunes or Google Play. You can e-mail us at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. I was so glad to spend this time with you. Go out and be the change in the world and just as Gandhi said. You can make the difference. Don’t forget those possibilities are standing right in front of you!

Time 7:37 min

Keywords: possibilities, imagine the possibilities, creative, innovative, stretch out of your comfort zone, risk taking, podcast, iTunes