Debra Kasowski, Author at Debra Kasowski

EPISODE 171 – See Your Challenges as Opportunities

August 31, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Every crucial experience can be regarded either as a setback, or the start of a wonderful new adventure, it depends on your perspective!
-Mary Roberts Rinehart

Are you responding or reacting to life circumstances? Life happens. The attitude and perceptive you take makes all the difference. There are tragic events going on around the world. We are inundated with negative messaging from media – “fear producers” and toxic people in our lives. However, no matter what challenge you face whether it be getting out of debt, finding a new job or your next client, or taking the big leap from your day job to going full-time into your side hustle, these are all opportunities for you to do things differently than before to get different results.

What are some of the challenges you are facing right now?

Challenge: Finding new clients.

Opportunity: Start getting clear on your avatar – who you are serving. Explore and attend new networking opportunities.

Challenge: Lost your job.

Opportunity: New Beginnings. Start the new business you dreamed of. Go back to school and do something different. Work in a different industry.

Challenge: Change jobs and take a pay cut.

Opportunity: Declutter your home. Sell things you no longer need or want. Start cooking gourmet at home.

How you see your challenges directly affects how you face them. It is the challenges that show up in our lives that test our limits and what we are truly capable of. People get so comfortable staying in their comfort zones that they avoid challenges and therefore miss opportunities. If you want to inspire others, live an inspiring life. Lead by example and face challenges as opportunities for you to learn and grow. When you stay in your comfort zone, you fail to discover what you are capable of.

“Life’s ups and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals-think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want.”
-Marsha Sinetar

One thing I know for sure is that if you do not challenge yourself the universe finds a way to ensure you are growing. Why not challenge yourself to new heights? You are not the same person you were a year ago. Everyone faces different challenges yet how you face your challenges makes a big difference.

During this past year, I decided to run a half marathon. I knew as soon as I made the decision and paid my registration it was done. Was this a challenge for me? Absolutely, physically and mentally. I had not run more than 10K in my life. I had trained here and there with a hectic schedule. When race day came, I was calm knowing that I was going to accomplish the half marathon now it was a matter of getting it done. As we ran about an hour in, my mind was saying, “That was nice what’s next.” This is because this was where that 10K comfort was. I knew I need to keep going. I told myself that there was no other way back then to run/walk it back. I finished…I completed a half marathon. I had never had a strong desire to do one in the past but why not challenge myself. Challenges are about seeing what you are made of. Opportunities are showing what you made of.

Years ago, a business venture went bad. I felt frustrated and defeated, “How could I allow this to happen?” I went into 20K in debt and had to find a way to climb out of it. I rose up to the challenge. I needed to find a solution. I worked extra hours in my nursing position at the time and hired a coach. Every month I put a chunk of money on the debt and paid my coach. It did not resolve in 2-3 months. I worked with my coach for one year to get my mindset back in the right place and grew my side hustle business. I paid off the debt within 4 years. I could have had a new car or a Masters degree. No, the school of hard knocks had a different plan. Yes, I had moments telling myself how foolish I was. But really what does that do for you? Nothing. The learning I took away was priceless. I learned more about running a business, finances, partnerships, and decision-making. I had the opportunity to become a better version of myself, set realistic goals, and build strong relationships.

It was pointed out to me that I regularly put out challenges for myself. I never really took stock of doing that and yes, I do! I want to see what I can do. I focus on what is possible and the opportunities that could exist around them.

Every person is facing a challenge of some kind. If not, hold on there may be one coming. Whatever challenge you are facing right now, know that there is an opportunity waiting to be discovered. Step out of your comfort zone. Grow. Learn. Discover who you truly are.

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get my just release FREE e-book about the 21 Habits High Achievers Kick to Achieve Success. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com

EPISODE 170 – Change Your Routines Change Your Habits

August 19, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Motivation is what gets you started.

Habit is what keeps you going.”

Jim Rohn

Our habits are foundational to our success. I have been studying personal development for decades and it always fascinates me to learn the success habits of powerful people in life, leadership, and business. I love learning about how people grow and transform their lives. Success leaves clues so it is important to pay attention. Over the years, I have adapted and adjusted my routines to find out work best for me. If I made you pause over the last statement – great! I changed my routines to create new habits.

There is a difference between habits and routines.

Routine

When you have a routine, you have a set of habits. You have a regular way of doing things. A routine requires that you think about you are doing and can take a lot of energy in the beginning. Don’t worry you won’t expend too much energy once it is established. Once you build the routine it will eventually become unconscious.

Habits

Habits are those continual set of behaviors; a repeated way in which you do things. You often do not even think about it.

They are very important to adding structure too often a chaotic schedule of needing to do many things or be several places. You will notice that as children we thrived on structure and routines. As we became adults, we were exposed to new things – some serving us and some not.

When you get into the habit of doing things a certain way it is easy to become comfortable. Staying in this place can get people stuck and dissatisfied with the way things are. There is no challenge. Even the greatest athletes have learned to change things up – to fine-tune their skills. Tiger Woods would change up his swing. Wayne Gretzky would change up the way he skated on the ice. You only grow on the outside of your comfort zone. Growth comes from new experiences and lessons. If everything stays the same, how will you grow? Create a 21-day challenge for yourself to do one thing every day that will challenge you.

Stepping out of your comfort zone exposes you to a new experience in which you see things from a different perspective, challenge assumptions, and stretch into your potential. You may take bigger calculated risks.

According to researchers, it takes 21- 66 days to change or create a new habit. It all starts with your routines. Examine how your day looks. What do you do each day to set up you day for success? I know some of you are shouting coffee – “I can’t start the day without coffee?” Take some time to think about routines you have in place.

What do you do without even thinking about it? For example, some people have a smoke after every meal. They may have been doing this for years. It is something they “just do” after eating. It became a routine. Change up the routine and you can then change the habit. Stop smoking after meals; change the activity. Maybe you go for a short walk instead. If you have a habit of retail therapy and the mall is your trigger to spend. Go with a list or a free-standing store instead if hitting the store up in the mall. Go with a shopping with a specific list or a certain amount of money. Do not take your credit cards with you. Change the association, change the routine, and change the habit.

How you start your day is often how you end it. Start by creating a morning routine and schedule that serves you.

Spend time in silence and clear your head. You may decide to meditate or pray. You are open and ready when you are in a state of calmness.

Repeat powerful affirmations, watch an empowering video or listen to a podcast to get your head in the game.

Write down 3 things you are grateful for? Why not send out a gratitude card? Journal your thoughts, trials, and tribulations to gain a clear perspective of the supportive and non-supportive stories you may be telling yourself. Let your mind wonder over possibilities and look for solutions.

Visualize and focus on the outcomes you want to achieve. Feel what it will feel like to achieve those things. What do you need to do to become, do, or have those things you visualize?

Ensure you are getting regular exercise – get the blood flowing throughout your body.

Read or listen to a book in your industry or personal development.

Create new routines establishes habits that serve you.

Set yourself up for success. Become self-aware of what habits are serving you and which ones are not serving you. Where do these habits show up? Which routines? Change up the routine. Suppose you are an entrepreneur and you put all you receipts in a shoebox and year end you gather and organize them and give them to the accountant. How do you know how much money you have on a regular basis? You make better decisions when you know the flow of money coming in and the flow of money going out. To change routine, you could keep a spreadsheet and set aside part of a day or a day to focus on working with your numbers every week. You could hire a bookkeeper and set aside time to scan over or turn in your receipts. Break the habit, swap the habit, create a new habit by changing up your routine.

EPISODE 169 – Stop Underestimating Yourself

August 12, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Never underestimate what you can accomplish when you believe in yourself.” (Unknown)

[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtLgo_ulBAw[/embedyt]

Growing up you may have heard sayings or phrases like, “Be humble.”, “Don’t brag.”, or “Don’t share your successes or accomplishments, you might make someone feel bad.” I do agree that being humble is an honorable trait. Remembering where you came from and being in awe of what you are capable of or how far you have come is important. Sharing your successes and accomplishments are important. You are only bragging when you are sharing with the intent to belittle someone or make someone feel inferior to you. Bragging is very different than celebrating. Celebrating others can share in the experience.

I am dedicating this podcast to my friend, Stephanie, who caught me in a moment of conversation and said, “Deb, you are underestimating yourself.” The comment made me pause and ask, “Was I underestimating yourself?” With some self-reflection, I decided to create this podcast as I know I am more capable and step into a higher potential and, so can you? Let’s do this together! You will no longer play small.

Here are some signs that you may be underestimating yourself:

Compare Yourself to Others. You are constantly checking out Facebook or Instagram comparing people’s outside lives to yours. You may feel that your life is not as exciting or you’re stuck. You must remember people only post the good stuff. They are not going to post themselves all snotty nosed sick with a head cold…wait a minute I know some do – but rarely. You are at a different place on your journey and have had past experiences and learning that others have not. Every person is unique so there can be no comparison. When you see someone’s joyous moment or celebration. You see one moment in time, not the hours of sacrifice or the challenges they faced to get there.

TAKE-AWAY: Focus on your story and your journey. You are the storyteller of your life. Don’t like what you are currently writing – change the story.

Value Other People’s Opinions Over Your Own. You want everyone to like you. You may have been told growing up you needed to act, behave, or do certain things to gain approval from your parents or teachers. You wanted to please them so much that you made what they think more important than what you think. Eventually, you may have placed their opinions above your own.

TAKE-AWAY: Learn to trust yourself and value your opinions and ideas. At the end of the day, you are the one who lives with your choices, not anyone else.

Surrounding Yourself with the Wrong Influencers. You are hanging out with people who do not support or encourage you. They may judgmental and negative. They always seem to rant or vent about what has happened in their lives, “Can you believe it…?” Who you surround yourself with impacts how you think and what actions you will take. Are you taking stock of who you are hanging out with? Do they nudge you to become a better version of yourself or are they like a ball and chain attached to your leg?

TAKE-AWAY: Take stock of who is in your circle of influence. You become the average of the 5 people you hang out with the most.

Listening to Negative Self-Talk. There are 50,000 to 80,000 thoughts in a day with 80% of them being negative. When you put focus and attention on a negative thought, it can become a new belief impacting your perspective on things. Even if something does fail or you make a mistake, you must learn that it is necessary to make mistakes to learn from them. These lessons represent growth – the more you grow the better off you become in all areas of life.

When a new situation or challenge comes up, you may shy away from or prevent yourself from doing anything because you think it will fail. You tell yourself, “I can’t do that. I can’t do this.”, “I am not smart enough.”, or “I am not _______ enough.” First of all who said and who made them the authority of you. And if it was you? Rethink what you said. If you plan and prepare, you can make things happen. I am a big fan of Dwayne Johnson and love watching videos of him at the Iron Paradise, he talks about “being the hardest worker in the room”. When you put in the work, you will reap rewards.

TAKE-AWAY: Challenge your negative self-talk. Is it really true? Make a list of your positive qualities and ask trusted family and friends to add in a few more. Acknowledge your successes by writing them down. Stacking success on success!

Criticizing Yourself. We are our worst critics. We can find every flaw in a photo and identify all the reasons why something will not work out the way you want. Some of this criticism is harsh and you would never say those things to your best friend or neighbor. I recently did a photo shoot. I love to be in pictures however this time it was different. I invested in a photographer that I felt was high caliber and the people he worked with were too. I had all kinds of self-talk going through my head of all the reasons I could not be at that caliber. I push through this limit anyway. I was glad I did. I am of that caliber and continue to be a work in progress at the same time. I showed one person one of the photos and they said that is exactly how we see you. Wow! I thought…that was not what I had told myself. My perspective shifted. It’s amazing how what we see in ourselves is not always aligned with how other’s see us. I was reminded that you are the compass of how everyone around you views and treats you – lead by example.

TAKE AWAY: When you start criticizing yourself, STOP and ask yourself, could I repeat or share these thoughts with another person? What do you think they would say to you? Would they be your friend? Accept compliments and offer them.

Neglecting personal self-care. You can not serve others when you do not care for yourself. It is easy to get caught up in saying yes to everything. It is important that you are fueling your body, getting enough sleep, and ensuring you get enough exercise.

TAKE-AWAY: Schedule in self-care time. Start treating yourself with the same respect and commitment you offer others.

It is time to step up and step into your game. Deep down you know you can do whatever you put your mind to and believe. People around us need a renewed sense of hope. The only limits there are is the person staring back at them in the mirror. Dig deep and through the criticism, judgment, and negativity – trust yourself you know you can do it. Bet on Yourself – You already are winning!

EPISODE 168 – Manage Your Time Before It Manages You

August 1, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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How many times have you caught yourself saying, “if there were only more hours in a day.” There is so much we could be doing but should you be doing it all. The hot buzzword in today’s society is BUSY. You ask someone how they are doing and they say, “I am BUSY.” Busy doing what? There is a distinct difference between being busy and being productive.

Being productive means, you are getting a ton done and hopefully the most important things done. You are taking intentional action that lead to results. Busy, on the other hand, tend to be filled with activities that are time fillers. These time fillers or distractors can include and are not limited to as I am sure you can come up with some more: watching TV, surfing the internet and following those blue links in the internet vortex, scrolling through social media to catch all the likes on your recent post, decluttering your desk for the third time, or starting some domestic chores when you really need to be focused in on getting things done. We are all guilty of this at one time or another. The trick is…what are you avoiding or running away from?

We know what we need to do. Chances are you have heard of time management strategies and techniques. Maybe you even attempted a couple but fell off the wagon or never found the strategy that has worked for you. Doing something once, twice, or even three times isn’t going to make a new habit stick. Researchers say it takes between 21-66 days for a habit to be changed or a new habit to be formed. Some people think they are making sacrifices so they do not put in any effort at all. They equate sacrifice with a loss instead of the gain they will achieve. Short-term sacrifice for long-term gain.

There was a study done on preschoolers called The Marshmallow Test were the children were sitting at a table in a room. They were given one marshmallow and if they were able to hold off on eating it until the researcher came back into the room they would be rewarded with a second marshmallow. As you can imagine, there were many different reactions. Some children licked and touched them and stared at them. Others took a big bite as soon as the door closed. The ones that were able to wait received their reward. If you get a chance, you can watch the video on YouTube – it is very entertaining. Years later, they studied those same children. Those children that were able to hold off on the need for instant gratification were more successful in their lives and careers.

It is easy to get caught in the bright shiny object syndrome. You can react to impulsive behaviors or you can build in habits that serve you in being laser-focused on your goals.

Let’s Get Laser Focused:

Eliminate distractions. Put your cellphone on do not disturb or silent. Shut off any notifications. If you are working from home, maybe you need to change your environment – head to a coffee shop. Avoid household chores and assign to a specific time of day you will tend to them. Set up an app on your phone or computer to block or prevent you from going to websites and surfing the internet when not needed for the work you need to get done. Yes! Thoughts will come up that you need to do other things – write it down on a notepad and set it aside for now. You captured the thought you have not lost it.

Start by making a list. What are the things you need to get done? Not only WANT to get done but NEED to get done.

Prioritize the items on the list. What are the top 3-5 things you must get done to move ahead? These may not seem significant but in the whole scheme of things getting these items done is the biggest return on investment of time, money, and resources.

Time-block your priorities into your calendar. What you ink, you think. When you block off time, you make things happen. Too many people have things on their to-do lists that they are not putting into their calendars and they cannot figure out why the to-do list is only getting longer.

Someone may call you and say, “Hello, are you free to run an errand for me?” or “Hey, do you want to go shopping this afternoon.” You check your calendar – voila! Nothing is booked so you say, “Why sure!” You did not check your to-do list of things you need to get done. When you put it on the calendar, you can start crossing things off the to-do list and using your time more efficiently.

Set a timer for each activity. Time expands to the amount of time you allot. If you give yourself 20 minutes, you will work on that project or task for 20 minutes. If you set aside 4 hours, it will take you 4 hours. Block the time you need. You can use the Pomodoro method where you set 20 minutes aside work steady and then take a 5-minute break. I personally have found through trial and error that my optimum time is 45 minutes. I will work steadily for 45 minutes and then break for 15 minutes. Take the break to recharge is important. You can get more accomplished as you will be re-energized and refocused on the task at hand.

Take care of you! One of the most important pieces of achieving anything in life is that you take care of you. Do things that you are passionate and enthusiastic about. Make healthy eating choices. Move your body and get the exercise it needs daily. Read, meditate, or pray – clear your mind. Journal your thoughts and visualize your outcomes. They are a scene of life’s coming attractions! Practice a morning routine that sets the tone for the day. The way you start your day is often how you will get your day.

Reflect on your day and plan out the next. Review your day. What went as you intended? What did not go as you intended? Is there something you could do differently the next time? What did you learn? What are you grateful for? What can you do tomorrow that will make it even better?

When you plan and do things with intention, you will start seeing the outcomes you want to see. If you do not manage your time, you will miss out on deadlines and opportunities because you will not have the time to fit it all in. Wouldn’t you agree that short-term sacrifice is worth the gain?

EPISODE 167 – Focus on the Here and Now

July 19, 2018 by Debra Kasowski 2 Comments

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“Wherever you are, be there. If you can be fully present now, you’ll know what it means to live.” ― Steve Goodier

Have you ever been flooded with memories from the past? A song comes on the radio, a car drives by, a Facebook memory comes up in your news feed. Some memories make you smile while others hold onto hurts from the past. They can make you feel anxious, depressed, or even angry. Catch yourself…you are not your thoughts and emotions.

We have over 50,000 to 80,000 thoughts going through our minds at any point and time. The majority of those thoughts are negative. Most negative thoughts are about the past and fear of the future. It is the thoughts we bring into our awareness that we experience. Thoughts will come to mind and go away. When you hang onto a thought, it influences how you feel and your actions. If the thought is negative, it can throw you off track and spin into a spiral of negativity if you do not know how to reframe and shift the thought. Many people would like to run away from or ignore the thought when it triggers strong negative emotions. It makes them feel vulnerable and exposed and raw. If you ignore the thought it will never go away. You want to move toward the thought instead of away from it.

Tony Robbins explains that we hold onto past experiences because of the need for certainty. The past is something we believe we know. The fixation on the future gives us power. Eckart Tolle states that we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Internal Dialogue and external events influence how you think. Your thoughts do not describe who you are. You can think or feel anxious or depressed but you are not defined by the thought or feeling. You are experiencing the thought or feeling – you are not it! You can say, “I am feeling anxious about this situation”, instead of saying, “I am anxious.” It is important to notice your thoughts when they surface so you may bring the thought or how you feel into awareness.

As you bring thoughts and feelings into your awareness, start to focus on this present moment and what is going on where you are at. Accept that thoughts and feels are triggered. Acknowledge that they are there. When you accept that you’re experiencing a thought or feeling, it doesn’t mean you have to like what is happening. Focusing on the present allows you to pause and respond thoughtfully versus react to a situation.

Practice self-reflection and understand what is happening during the moment. What about this is triggering your emotions? Why is it affecting you? Is it something you have control over? If so, what are you willing to do? You are putting your attention on it and not dwelling on it. No judgment. You can only take responsibility for your actions and not the thoughts, feelings, or actions of others. Shift your focus onto the here and now. The easiest action to focus on is to focus on your breathing. Practice deep breathing.

Make a commitment to making a change. Instead of letting your thoughts and feelings from the past, focus on the things that matter most to you – the people, your hopes, dreams, and goals. Do the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing help move you toward what matters to you or away? Are they serving you in a positive way? Action leads you to your destiny, not your thoughts.

Your desire to hang onto the past impacts your future. You can shift into an empowering state by changing your habits. Research suggests it takes 21-66 days to change a habit and maintaining it. Here are some tips to get you started:

Practice Gratitude. Write down and state 3 things you are grateful daily.
Focus on your daily wins and achievements. You are further ahead than you give yourself credit for.
Stop rehashing and replaying the story. The more you replay it, the more you are anchored to the story. When you let go, you realize you have control. You can write a new story.
Events or information only have meaning by the meaning we attribute to it.
Choose to create new memories – write a new story.
Be an active listener by being present. You will form better connections with others.
Get involved in activities where you are in the flow. The activities you love and lose track of time in.

“Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for your life to begin and start making the most of the moment you are in.”

― Germany Kent

Focusing on the here and now is about being mindful of the present moment. YOU in the present is the only thing you actually have control over. What thought or feeling will you bring to your awareness? What can you do in this moment to change or rewrite how you view your story?