EPISODE 176 – Fear, Success, and Sabotage

October 1, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“The ego mind both professes its desire for love and does everything possible to repel it, or if it gets here anyway, to sabotage it. That is why dealing with issues like control, anger, and neediness is the most important work in preparing ourselves for love.”

– Marianne Williamson

Have you ever felt a deep passion for what you do and why you do it? A passion that the thought of not doing it brings you to tears. Knowing your purpose in life is one of the most amazing experiences in your life. Yet it is easy to get detoured away from your true calling. The lure can be well-intended individuals in your life who think they know what is best for you. They are the ones who want you to play safe and stay small because of their own fears and insecurities. It is bad enough we have our own self-doubts we do not need others to confirm those beliefs to be true. These people do not want to see you fail; they want you to play safe for, “What if you fail? Will you be okay?”

What is actually happening is that they are fearful of their own potential failures. They are mirroring this onto you. They are afraid to take chances and your courageousness scares them. You look bold and aware, and fearless. They believe they cannot measure up to you. They get scared, “How can you possibly grow, stretch and reach for your greatness without me?” They start to sabotage your progress with neediness, control, or even anger. They need your attention on them, not on your goals. There is a shift that happens when they realize you are going to achieve your goals and you’re not afraid to fail along the way. You are confident and reassured. Do not let the fears of others dictate your actions.

You have fears, you just don’t allow FEARS to dictate your reality. When you operate from a place of fear, you get anxious, scared, and worry about things. Your imagination takes off. Your mind does not focus on the rewards and the great things that are going to happen to you. No! You think about all the worst-case scenarios. Things that usually never happen. Fear and love cannot exist together. When you are in a state of fear, you do not act or behave the same as you do from a state of LOVE. Love is trusting. It focuses on positive outcomes, whereas, fear spirals into a world of negativity and self-destruction. Choose love.

You can sabotage yourself when you start comparing yourself to others – wanting and desiring what another person has. You never think you are good enough, smart enough, deserving enough but why? You see one moment in time and envy’s ugly head appears. I bet you would not want to wipe out all your memories to live in another person’s shoes or lifetime.

Regret is worse than failing. I often think about all the things I want to achieve in my lifetime. I think of not doing what I am doing and it brings me to tears. When I am eighty years old, I do not want to have regrets saying, “I wish I would have… or If I only…or I should have…” This focus of energy is unproductive. Keep your focus on the goal or dream in front of you. If you feel overwhelmed, think of all the small steps you can take to get closer to your goals and dreams.

Challenge yourself to become better than yesterday. Look for ways you can constantly improve. Take risks. Move forward. Maintain a positive attitude and do not allow yourself to give up!

If you are passionate about something and it makes the world a better place to be, by all means, pursue it! Go after it. The world needs more of it. Imagine if everyone was focused on living out their purpose and giving their best. Wow! We would be amazed.

Are you allowing others to sabotage you or are you doing that job yourself?

Albert Einstein said, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

What are you going to do differently?

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get my just release FREE e-book about the 21 Habits High Achievers Kick to Achieve Success. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com

EPISODE 175 – Success Is Not an Accident

September 25, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“If there is anything in your life that is not the way you want it to be, you and only you are responsible for changing it. You must believe that it is up to you to create solutions to the challenges of life. Whether they are big or small, you’re still responsible. Each time you give an excuse, you diminish your respect, your credibility, and your integrity. Each time you make an excuse, you reinforce your propensity to make even more excuses in the future, and excuse making becomes a habit.” – Tommy Newberry

What is your definition of success? Some people define success with money and power, whereas others focus on health or relationships. The definition of success is personal. It is more than just a goal or dream. It is a way of being and doing. Success is not about perfection or having the most things. Success is whatever you believe it to be – it is a state of mind.

To achieve the success, you hold in your mind, you will have to set yourself up for success by working on yourself and developing success habits. When you develop success habits, you can create opportunities and you can capitalize on them. One of the most common self-limiting beliefs regarding success is that “Success is temporary” or “gifted an opportunity, bestowed a privilege they would not normally get, or that they were in the right place and the right time. Another group of people may say, success comes down to the amount of effort you put in which will equate to the result you get in return. At the end of the day, it comes down to being intentional with your choices. The choices you make today will impact your outcomes for better or worse.

Too many people would rather hold onto the ordinary or stay in their comfort zones than stretch and grow. It is safe. They worry about what others will say or do. You may hesitate to follow through on your passions because if you take lead, you may become a target. A target in the sense that people may talk about you or want to sabotage your success because of their own fears. What others believe show not matter to you; they are dealing

Good things don’t last.” People fear that whatever blessing or gift they receive that it will be fleeting.

Every person who encounters a successful person has a theory about what has made them a success. Some people will tell you that they have created their own luck, they have been with their own thoughts, feelings, and triggers. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You must do the things you think you cannot do.” Trust that everything with work out exactly how it is meant to be.

To achieve the success you desire, you must prepare and plan for your day.

Save time and energy on your decision making. Steve Jobs wore the same style T-shirt and jeans every day. He did this to reduce decision fatigue. You can reduce some of the decisions you face in your day.

Establish a Routine. Establish a consistent morning or nightly routine involving: meditation, prayer, journaling, and visualization.

Plan Ahead for the Next Day. Gather the things you need for the next day. Have everything ready. Lay your clothing out. Pack a lunch and snacks if required. Make sure your vehicle is filled with gas. Plan your errands to save time and money.

Set Your Priorities. Use a system to set aside projects that are not a high priority. Set yourself with success! Identify what is most important. Block time to work on what matters most. Set aside the time you need to catch someone on the act. Prioritize your workload. Take time to focus what is most.

Decide to Dress for Success. Many people get comfortable with their clothing and appearance. Dress for how you want to be seen and viewed in the world. Whether we like it or not, people make judgments and first impressions before we even say hello! Make it count!

Make Your Bed. If you do nothing else and you have made your bed, then you have been productive.

Track Your Expenses and/or Where Your Time is Spent. When you pay attention to where your resources are used, you can start being mindful of how you spend your money or time.

There are many more success habits that step you up to be the best version of yourself.

What are your habits of success? Comment below.

EPISODE 174 – Repetition Leads to Mastery

September 21, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.” Earl Nightingale

Success and failure are both habits. Ninety-seven percent of what we do is by spontaneous habit. People can get frustrated with repeating the same practices over and over. They may get bored. They may think there is no room for spontaneity. Their minds do not excited after repeated exposure to content or activity yet repetition is a necessity. Repetition is the mother of skill which leads to mastery.

If you want to develop success habits, you must repeat, practice, and develop your skills and a new way of thinking to develop new neuropathways in the brain. If you don’t practice, you will never master anything. Practice involves deliberate repetition.

What Does Repetition Do?

Repetition helps you master new skills and develop your abilities. You will improve in your speed and your confidence will increase. You strengthen connections in your brain. Repetition emphasizes key points. It helps you transition a skill from the conscious to the subconscious mind. Think of the first time you drove a car. Your focus and concentration were very deliberate in how you place your hands on the wheel, shoulder checked, or stepped on the gas. After years of driving, you probably do not give it much thought anymore. When you first start out doing things, they make seem awkward and uneasy but as you practice and rehearse – everything becomes easier. Repetition solidifies information in order to keep it in your memory for recall when you need it. Over time like an athlete, you will develop an intuitive understanding. A keen ability to feel how you are performing on any given day and what you need to do to sharpen your skills.

“An action by itself is insignificant but an action repeated every day is life-changing.”
― Avina Celeste

How Do You Get Passed Boredom?

Boredom can result from feeling empty, not challenged, limited attention span, or a lack of interest in activities around you. Your boredom may be attributed to taking things in life for granted. You need more. You want more. Boredom can be a wake-up call that you need to shake things up.

When things get routine and you get bored, your dopamine levels drop. Dopamine is a chemical messenger in the brain that increases when we are excited about and anticipates new situations. We crave excitement to increase this chemical in our brains.

Explore Your Boredom. Why are you bored? What can you do to increase excitement? Expand your learning on a subject? Can you make a game out of your repetition? Are you procrastinating from getting things done? Are you lacking motivation or inspiration to take consistent action? Stop over thinking about all the reasons you may be bored. Don’t force yourself to do something. Find a way to spice up your routine and energize the repetition involved. Challenge yourself to do new things – take up a new hobby. Travel – explore new lands and cultures. Expand your way of thinking. Sometimes it is best to allow yourself to be bored. Learning how to be versus “do” can be a good thing. Write in a journal and express your thoughts and share your story. The same things that raise your vibration will decrease your boredom.

You can continue on your path to mastery through practice and repetition. You expand your level of knowledge by finding YouTube videos, articles, podcasts, and books to stimulate your brain and have you asking more questions on the subject you what to master. You will be increasing your dopamine levels and start getting excited about your path to mastery.

“Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex.” – Norman Vincent Peale

What success habit are you wanting master right now?

EPISODE 173 – Raise Your Vibration

September 16, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.” – Albert Einstein

You may have heard the phrase “raise your vibration” tossed around at one time or another. Raising your vibration is about raising your energy – positive energy to keep focused on what is most important to you. This energy is your personal power – your presence! Your energy influences how you think and feel. People can sense your energy when you walk into a room. You know what I am talking about. When you are at a networking event or gala and a certain person walks into the room, people take notice and stop what they are doing. The person who walks in has a certain vibration, energy, or charisma. They do not need to be a well-known celebrity. They carry themselves with confidence and reassured about who they are. Vibration or energy is what draws us to or repels us from people, places, or things.

Why is raising your vibration important?

When you think and feel empowered, you are more likely to take positive intentional actions toward your goals. Raising your vibration is important because it is about your overall state of being. With a positive state, you will think of the positive stories that have supported you. You will be receptive to new ideas, possibilities, and opportunities.

It is your daily interactions with the world that impact your energy. You can get sidetracked by watching tragic stories on the news or listening to the radio. You encounter 50,000 to 70, 000 thoughts in a day. Majority of thoughts being negative; however, you can become more conscious of the thoughts or mindful of your intentions. When you do this, you are not getting caught up in the past – you are in the here and now. You may be saying to yourself, “I think my vibration is pretty high.” You can raise it even more.

Perfectionists like to be riding high on their high vibration. They can be devastated when things do not go as they planned. Your vibration can change or drop when you receive bad news, fear, boredom, or negativity. You must become mindful to ensure it does not impact you in the way that you stop taking the action toward what you want.

How to Raise Your Vibration

You can raise your vibration by doing things for others or doing things for yourself. Do more of what feels good!

Here’s a list:

Compliment a stranger
Choose to live in compassion and love
Surround yourself with like-minded positive people
Read inspiring quotes
Listen to upbeat music
Take a Spin or Zumba Class
Watch a motivational video
Listen to podcasts that inspire, educate, and entertain you
Exercise regularly
Eat healthy foods
Meditate or pray
Spend time in nature
Take 100% responsibility for your actions
Drink water – keep yourself hydrated.
Share 3 things you are grateful for.
Perform random acts of kindness
Focus on the present moment
Engage in your favorite hobby
Practice deep breathing

People have more power than they give themselves credit for. We give away our power when taking on other’s responsibilities, negative energy, and take on responsibility for others emotions. Don’t lose sight over how much power you have to raise your vibration. If you want more energy, you need to generate it from within! What do you do to raise your vibration – your energy? Own Your Personal Power!

“You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible.” – Deepak Chopra

EPISODE 172 – Ink Your Commitments

September 2, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“The discipline of writing something down is the first step toward making it happen.” Lee Iacocca

Have you ever wondered why your goals have not become a reality? Was it because you weren’t committed to your goals and dreams? You may be intentional with your actions here and there but you do not have a real plan. There is a change in your focus and attention when you actually write out your goals and dreams. People will brush off the action of writing out their goals but it works! Test it out; see how it works for you.

Why Ink Your Commitments?

Writing out your goals using the S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely) helps you clarify what you want. Clarity is important. Describe your desired reality in vivid detail with pictures, photos, or drawings. It will be like you can see it actually happening.
Ease in decision-making; you are able to filter out distractions easier by knowing whether the decision gets you closer or farther away from your goals
A visual reminder to motivate you to act.
Mapping out a plan that matches your goals helps you see your successes along the way. Ensure you are celebrating as you make progress this build momentum.
Scribing out your goals and dreams suddenly makes them a possibility – real versus a fleeting thought in your head.
Your goals/dreams will be easy to access having them written down.
Automatic focus and attention on your goals otherwise you may simply forget about them.

Research has shown that you are more likely to achieve your goals and dreams by writing them down and reviewing them daily. I recommend twice a day if possible – morning and night. Did you know? Writing down your goals/dreams impacts your brain in different ways. When you THINK about your goals/dreams, you are accessing the right hemisphere of the brain – unlocking your imagination. Therefore, your brain is looking for a solution and all the “how’s” of getting things done. Whereas, the mere inking the goal, activates the left hemisphere of the brain which is logic-based – again, looking for solutions. Together, this unlocks the subconscious mind – “seeing opportunities” because the subconscious mind does not know what is real or not real.

Write It Down, Make It Happen

As I was doing a Facebook Live on this topic, David Dorward shared his goal-setting method. He agreed about the importance of inking your commitments. He suggests getting a binder for a year with monthly tabs. Get a hole punch. Write things down and put them in the binder in the right month. At the start of the next month, review the last few months. Write a quick note to self about things went. Re-evaluate and rewrite goals. Same with financial for them in the home or a business. Put in the budget. Next month, evaluate, compare actual to the plan. Reassess and reset the budget etc.

I want to encourage you to OWN your goals and dreams. Make the commitment to making them become a reality. You are not interested; you are committed. I want you to get a pen and paper and write down 1-3 goals using the SMART goal method. Don’t limit yourself by only writing down what you THINK is possible based on your current situation. It is too easy to lose sight of what is possible. Set a timer of 3 minutes to gently nudge you out of that comfort zone and get you writing the first one at least. Choose a goal/dream that you consider as a BIG HAIRY AUDACIOUS goal or “game-changer”. Accomplishing this goal would change the dynamics or events moving forward. Accelerate your success by reverse engineering your goals/dreams. Get super clear on what you want. Write out the SMART goal in detail – your vivid vision. Work backward writing down everything you need to do to make things happen. Review your goals daily. Before you know it, with consistent action, you will make those dreams a reality.

What goal are you going to write out right now? Remember to be SMART.

“No one is ready for a thing until he believes he can acquire it.”

Napoleon Hill