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Kamila Gornia is the “Blow Up, Scale Up” Marketing Strategist who helps entrepreneurs
blow up and scale up their businesses to become true leaders online. By teaching her
clients and community how to leverage their own natural personalities into strategic
marketing campaigns that are both profitable AND fun, Kamila is proving over and over
again that if you can dream it, you CAN really achieve it!
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“See if you can catch yourself complaining, in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So, change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
We have all encountered people who have the glass half full viewpoint (optimist) and those with the glass half empty viewpoint (pessimist). Which one are you? Did you know we have 50,000-70,000 thoughts a day? 98% of those thoughts you have had the day before. Eighty percent of those thoughts are negative. It sounds crazy but most of your thoughts are not conscious thoughts. You have not brought them to your attention. When you do bring those thoughts to your attention, you have a choice whether to respond or not respond to them. If you focus or put your attention on a thought, you are giving energy to it or empowering that thought even if that thought could be wrong.
Don’t believe everything you think without questioning it. Your imagination can run away from itself – thinking often the worst of a situation rather than the best. To fight negativity, you must start with dealing with the negativity within.
Defeat the Negativity Within
Start by paying attention to what your inner voice is saying in any given situation. Is it empowering you or shaming you?
You cannot think a negative thought and a positive thought at the same time. When you think a negative thought, identify the thought and challenge your thought by questioning any assumptions you may be making. Surely, you have never made an assumption that was wrong before. I have I know I am not the only one. Remember though only have the meaning we give them. So, if you do not like the thought you are thinking, think a different thought or don’t give it meaning or your attention. Shift your energy by reframing the thought positively. Reframing will help change your perspective on some of the limiting beliefs you may be having. For example,
“I am not good enough to be chosen for the promotion.”
Is this thought true?
How do you know?
What do you want to be thinking?
“I AM good enough to be chosen for the promotion.”
Feel the energy shift. Wherever you focus your time and attention to, you will get more of. What are some of the self-limiting beliefs that you are having? Write out what your self-limiting beliefs are. Challenge the assumptions you may be making. Reframe the thought to an empowering thought. What do you want to be thinking? Consider capturing your thoughts by writing them down in a journal and reframing them.
Stop exposing yourself to negativity. Steer clear from watching the news first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed. There is a lot of negative news going on the world that can really affect your mood and mindset. What kind of movies and books to you read? What are you feeding your mind with? I am hoping is entertaining you, inspiring you, or educating you to become the best you can be!
Develop an attitude of gratitude. Start and end your day in gratitude. Gratitude is about being thankful and appreciative of something tangible or intangible and how it has impacted our lives. What are you grateful for? Positive psychology research shows that people who are grateful tend to be happier. Tell people in your life that you are grateful for them in your life or send them a thank you card. Too busy to write (even though I still suggest you send a card) – you may choose to thank them mentally.
The Negative Relationships – The Toxic People
Attitudes are contagious. Be careful who you surround yourself with; ensure you are spending time with positive people who encourage and support you. One of the greatest lessons I have learned is to not take other people’s negativity personally. Their reaction to things is about what is going on for them in their mind and life and often has very little to do with you. A toxic person is someone who makes a person feel bad about themselves by talking down to them, criticizing them, or belittling them. They may tell you that you can’t do things or you’re not good enough or talented enough to be successful. Do you know where that is coming from? It comes from their own fears of you succeeding or even that fact that they are not and did not go after their own goals.
Gandhi once said, “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with dirty feet.” You get to choose whether you will respond or react. Sometimes the toxic people may be people you are related to. Often the best things to do in these cases are to change the subject of the conversation or set boundaries by expressing what you are willing to talk about and what you are not willing to talk about. You are in control of letting that messaging in or keeping it out and how it impacts you. Limit your contact with toxic people.
The Negative Environment
Somethings you can control and somethings you cannot. You want to focus on what you can control.
Focus on solutions and the next positive step. It is easy to replay negative experiences over and over in our heads like a movie – reliving every moment. Is that what you really want? Learn to let go of past hurts. They occurred in the past and they cannot be changed.
Focus on the present – it what you can control. Redirect the topic and take control of the situation.
Keep the lines of communication open. Talk about your concerns openly and ask questions to avoid any misunderstandings. Again, your imagination can run wild if you do not ask questions to ensure you understand things correctly.
Deal with issues/concerns head on. Do not avoid having important conversations that you need to have. They can fester and exploded into much bigger problems and damage morale if not tended to immediately.
Follow up with others that you work and spend time with. This “pulse check” can help you determine if everyone is getting along or there are any concerns you may not be aware of. By being aware, positive changes can create positive results. Be proactive.
Be careful not to minimize the positive. Fighting negativity is a work in progress. It is too easy to fall into the trap of getting caught up in negative thinking, gossiping with others, and creating a toxic environment if you do not pay attention to where your thoughts are at any given moment.
Empower yourself by thinking empowering thoughts. When you think positive, you are giving a boost to your mood and you will take more affirmative actions to support your goals and objectives.
We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com
Time: 12:25 min
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Kallon John is a copywriter and marketer. He’s the marketing manager at Make Your Mark Training and Consulting, a company that has a 7-step process to that helps entrepreneurs take their business to the next level. Kallon is a conversion expert – his specialty is taking what’s there a tweaking it to make it much, much better.
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“Good leaders must communicate vision clearly, creatively, and continually. However, the vision doesn’t come alive until the leader models it.” John C. Maxwell
Leaders can have great ideas but unless they can create a compelling vision for their people – ideas remain ideas. Leadership is about being about to communicate what that vision is on a consistent basis. You are pointing the way and leading them toward the vision. You must first believe in the vision yourself in order to share it.
Gain Clarity of Your Vision. You cannot share a vision with others unless you clearly understand it yourself. It does not have to be perfect to gain buy-in, people need to see the vision of what you are talking about. If they cannot understand the picture of what you are creating, you will not gain buy-in. What is the vision?
Make Your Vision Compelling by Sharing Stories. Describe your vision in as much detail as possible. The use of stories will create a connection between you and the people you are communicating the vision to. People will learn ‘why’ your vision is so meaningful to you. They will start to visualize how they fit into the story. Otherwise, they feel like they are on the outside looking in. It is like looking through a candy store window and not being able to touch or taste any of it. Keep your message simple but powerful. What stories or experiences can you share that help share that create a compelling reason for making the vision a reality?
Communicate with Enthusiasm. Be positive about your message. If you are not excited about your vision, you cannot expect others to be. Be passionate and enthusiastic about what you are doing. You want people to be engaged because they say “I want to” rather than them say “I have to” attitude. Otherwise, they will not put in their best efforts as they have no vested interest. People will be drawn to the positive energy you share and will want to learn more. Write out your vision so you can you are describing the vision exactly how you see it and the possibilities. What excites you about the vision?
Communicate a Variety of Ways and Channels. People like to receive information in different ways. They also each interpret messages in different ways. It is best practice to share your vision through a variety of channels. If you communicate the vision randomly, it will get lost in the whirlwind of other daily activities or your message may get diluted.
One of the most popular and possibly overused ways is through email. Not that it is not effective, it may not have the impact when buried in the others 400 emails you have. You may choose share your vision through one-on-one meetings, town hall meetings, video presentations, or even webinars. It can take from 7-9 contacts with information before they start adopting or moving into action. Overcommunicate your message to ensure it sticks. What are the best ways for you to communicate the vision and reach your people?
Help People See Themselves as Part of the Future and Part of Making an Impact on the Greater Good. Team members and followers have their own vision – the starts with “What is in it for me?” Talk in terms of how “we” are going to make the vision a reality. People want to be a part of something bigger than themselves by knowing they play a key role in making it happen. Collaborate with and engage your people in the process and help them understand their role and responsibility in making the vision become a part of reality. Two-way dialogue is very important. They want to know how what they do will impact the vision and if their work is meaningful or matters. What part does your team member or team play in making the vision come true?
Keep the communicate lines open. Allow people to ask questions and offer their suggestions. You never know what other experiences people have until the right opportunity comes up to share it. What can you learn from the questions and feedback people share to strengthen your vision?
You have a vision. You must now lead the way. Other are watching and waiting to find out how they will make an impact and when it is their turn. Invite them into the conversation and call them to action – to be a part of the vision.
We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com
Time: 10:02 minutes
The quest for work-life balance and ‘having it all’ can be a disillusion for many as they work long hours trying to give equal attention to each area of their lives. Not only is this disappointing, it leaves people literally exhausted and feeling over-extended. People are shuttling children to and from activities, cleaning house, buying groceries, making meals, writing reports and blog posts while making meals, and balancing the budget. They have become so task-oriented that they are no longer pursuing and living a life of significance and meaning. What was once a mission to achieve meaningful goals and leave a legacy has now left individuals disinterested and forgetting why they were on their mission altogether.
When everything around you seems to be falling apart, it is time to step back and take a look at what is going on around you and re-evaluate. There are no easy solutions or one-size fits all solutions. You are a work in progress and what works for you may not work for others. You can adjust your plan as you go. What’s most important is that you honour who you are and what you want in your life. Remember balancing your commitments does not mean that you need to give equal attention to everything. Most of the time is comes down to dedicating some quality time versus worrying about the quantity of time you have.
Decide what ‘having it all’ means to you. What do you want to be, do, and have in your life? What are you willing to sacrifice or put aside for the time being as you focus on a different priority?
Know what your “WHY” is. What motivates you to go after your dreams and goals? What is behind your actions? What are you hoping to achieve?
“If you know the why, you can live any how.
― Friedrich Nietzsche
Make tough decisions around your priorities. Even though you do not want to out on a social engagement, you know family movie night is important to you. Sometimes you must miss out on good to achieve the great things that you want in your life. When you are clear on what is important to you; it is easy to make the right decision for you. Make a list of your top 5 priorities. They say you can tell a person’s priorities by what they worry about. What do you worry about? What do you focus on most? Tough decisions are easy when you know your priorities – everything seems to fall into place.
Learn to stand up and speak up for what you want and need. People are not mind-readers; they do not know what you want and need. You need to get in the habit of asking – asking questions to gain more information or asking for help. The most successful people in this world did not do it alone. They have had help along the way.
Delegate where possible. You may say, “But no one does it as good as me!” Although this may be true, are you using your time most effectively? Can you block off smaller increments of time over the week to do household chores instead of spending your whole Saturday cleaning the house and running errands? Can you hire someone to clean house or order your groceries online and then pick them up or have them delivered? Can you ask the kids to help with things that you usually do? Remember you are teaching them great life skills!
“If you want to do a few small things right, do them yourself. If you want to do great things and make a big impact, learn to delegate.”
― John C. Maxwell
You want to be focusing where your strengths lie. If it takes you two hours to hem one pair of pants, wouldn’t it be easier to get a tailor to do the job? No matter what you are doing, you are making these choices based on time, money, resources, and your beliefs about “how things should be.” Is it really how things should be? What if you came up with a “new normal” of the way you believe things should be? Would you be happier or more satisfied?
Make self-care a priority. Eat healthy meals and get regular exercise. The body you have is the only one you got so look after it. Your body does amazing things and gives you the support needed to function but it needs its rest too. Sleep does wonders for us. When you get enough sleep, you deal with life stressors much easier than if you were exhausted. You think more clearly and are not apt to jump to conclusions as easy.
Tap into your support system. When you get caught up in the hustle and bustle of work, life, and family, it can be easy to take what is important to you for granted. Communication is key. Share your goals and dreams with those most important to you. Let them know how important they are to you. Make time to support them with their goals too. They will be more apt to help you as well.
Choose to have an attitude of gratitude. The whirlwind of daily activities and financial strain can leave people feeling helpless and that their world has gotten out of control. They become resentful when things get in between what they want and what is currently happening. Remember that everything around you is based on choices you have made. What can you be grateful for?
There are some external forces influencing some of the outcomes but overall you are responsible for the results you have received. Instead of being resentful, be grateful and trust that you are exactly where you need to be now. Look for the lesson. Do you need to evaluate spending habits? Do you need to get rid of clutter? Do you need to ask for or give forgiveness? Maybe the flat tire you had kept you at home to avoid a major accident on the highway. The missed opportunity made room for a new opportunity that you otherwise would not have been available for.
Set clear boundaries of what you can take on and what you will not take on. There are people in our lives who can make their emergencies ours if we let them. You have one life to live – make sure you are doing what you want and need to do for yourself. Help people along the way but don’t just drop everything for fear of people getting upset with you or you feel obligated to. Choose a time that works best for you and does not take you away from your own priorities. Priorities change depending on the given situation; you core values of what you believe in do not.
Live with intention. Make a plan but be okay with adjusting as you need to. Be kind to yourself. Block off dedicated time to work on what you need to get done. Block off free time in your calendar for self-care and separate time for family or date nights.
You can have it all. You first need to define what “having it all means”. Be clear on your priorities and make your decisions based on your priorities. You will not be disappointed. Make plans and take intentional actions to achieve what you want and need. You can have it. And if it backfires, take a step back and re-evaluate again! Stay committed to what you want and need to make an impact and live a life of significance!
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com