Debra Kasowski

EPISODE 460 – Resolutions or Commitments

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In this podcast, Debra Kasowski talks about why making resolutions does not work and what you can be doing instead, she shares ideas to let go of the fears holding you back from taking action, reverse engineering your year, and choosing your intention word for the year. Debra encourages you to commit to your best year ever.

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Debra Kasowski is the charismatic podcast host of The Millionaire Woman Show, 3X Best Selling Author, Speaker, and Certified Executive Coach. She interviews incredible speakers, authors, CEO, Business and Organizational Leaders and drops solo episodes with tips, strategies, and techniques for your success.

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Episode 59: Painful Truths Why People Fail to Meet Their Goals

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“Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan.” – Tom Landry

Goal setting can occur at any time of the year. People seem to think that New Year’s resolutions or goals are only set when the clock strikes midnight; however, the resolutions are things that you’re wishing to happen there are no definite measurements or time frame in which you wish to achieve it. There’s no game plan. It is simply an announcement of something you wish to resolve.

Interested versus committed. Some people steer away from setting goals for the fear of truly making a commitment. One of the number one reasons that people fail to meet their goals is that they are more interested in having it happen and actually truly committed to making it happen. Commitment takes discipline, hard work, and even some sacrifice along the way. If you really want to achieve something you must maintain focus on the right things.

Focus on the wrong things. When people set goals, there are times when they set goals that they’re trying to avoid something they end up focusing on what they don’t want. As the saying goes you get more of what you focus on. If you continually put your time, attention, and focus on avoiding what you don’t want, for some reason it always seems to be there. Your focus needs to be on what you want to achieve.

TMW_PDFDon’t know what you want. Another reason people fail to meet their goal is that they lack clarity. They have never stopped and really thought about or reflect on what they truly want in their life. They didn’t think about where their career would take them were what type of legacy that they would like to leave. If you don’t know where you’re going you can end up anywhere. If you’re frustrated you need to change what you’re doing.

No action plan. Imagine getting into your car. You’re sitting behind the steering wheel you turn on the ignition. You have no idea where you’re going and how you’re going to get there. There are many people out in the world wandering with no real sense of direction and no plan. You can’t get to where you want to go if you don’t have a plan to get there. I’m not saying focus on the how initially. That’s where the clarity came in. You need to know where you want to go and as you focus on what that is. You will become a creative thinker and figure out the “how”. What will it take for you to get to where you want to be? What knowledge skills and ability you have to gain and learn? Who do you need to speak to get more information?

Cannot make a decision. Making decisions is a big part of a person success. Indecisiveness can lead to missing opportunities. Opportunities don’t wait in the wings for when you decide the time is right. People who are ready to take action will seize the opportunity. You need to be prepared to be ready. Way out the facts and trust yourself and your judgment – make a decision.

No emotional connection to the goal. I’ve seen many people set goals that have no meaning to them. Some are chasing it for material wealth and others realize they have no emotional connection to the goal that they had set. The issue is often that someone else set the goal for them. The end up self-sabotaging every action is not truly what they want and are not being true to themselves. You may have faced that internal struggle of doing things that you no longer feel that are important to you or you lack the emotional connection.

Setbacks lead to paralysis. Another painful truth about why people fail to meet their goals are that when a setback occurs they shift into an “all or nothing” thinking. They are devastated by any failure. They fail to see the lesson and self-correct quickly and move forward. These people lose motivation quickly and often give up. They need to rally and put strategies in place that when a setback occurs that they can prepare for the greatest comeback. They need to take the lessons they’ve learned with them.

Playing it safe. When you avoid taking risks you miss out on opportunities of growth and challenge. I’m not saying put all that eggs in one basket. Do your due diligence it is important. Too many people fail to take a risk because they haven’t assessed and analyzed any of the information available to them they simply just brush it off. Sometimes it takes only one action that can propel you so much farther than you ever have before if you’d only stop and take the time to learn what you need to learn and make a decisive decision.

Comparing yourself to others is a trap! The other painful truth is that comparison trap. We often catch ourselves comparing ourselves to others thinking that there is so much farther ahead – where they have the skill or something that you would like to have. Everyone in life faces challenges you are not unique in that aspect. They might not display it to the world especially through social media which is always everybody’s greatest day. Focus on your own strengths and what you have to offer. You can learn from others but don’t compare where you’re at to or someone else’s is you don’t know the other person struggle.

There is no magic wand or silver bullet to success! You need to stay driven and committed to your goals. You need to be clear on what it is you truly want, make a decision, and a plan to make it become your reality. It is time to end the frustration and disappointment of not meeting your own expectations.

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time: 11:20 min

Are You Unravelling at the Seams?

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I love how life shows us our lessons or reflects past lessons as a reminder. Oh my goodness! My daughter wanted to learn how to knit so we went to the local craft store and checked out all the books on knitting and started to look at all the crochet books as well. I do not know how to knit whatsoever, however, I do know a few people who could possibly teach her. I have crocheted a scarf at one time so I suggested that she start with crochet so I could assist her. She was good with that suggestion.

When we came home she pulled everything out, she was ready determined to make a scarf. Did I tell you she did not know how to crochet yet? Well, I explained that you must learn the basic stitches before she could make the scarf. We pulled out the book and looked at the pictures. I made a slip knot and showed her the basic chain stitch. Now it was her turn…I am not sure what she was trying to do but it looked like she was wrapping yarn around the hook so I asked her to try again. She was frustrated after 2-3 tries and went off to her room. She was not going to crochet and that was it. My daughter was unravelling!!!

I gave her a few minutes of breathing time and reminded her of when she started looming – how she was frustrated because she had skipped a loom and now there was a hole in her pattern or how she could not even get started. But now she could make leg warmers (Yes! They are Back from the 80’s) or a scarf. It took practice and some trial and error. I told her I was leaving her with the yarn and hook and that she could stay in her room a while longer until she figured it out on her own. About 10 minutes later, she emerged with a Cheshire grin and a twinkle in her eyes and a chain stitch, now she was ready to learn the next stitch. She looked at me and said, “Mom, I hate it when you are right.” Savour those moments – the life lesson learned about not giving up and unrealistic expectations and many more.

Have you ever tried something and got “unravelled at the seams”? I am sure many of us have. How many times did you try again? Did you learn something from the errors so you could get it right the next time? Look back at your successes. Think about when you learned how to ride a bike or walk. You may have tumbled a couple times or even skinned at knee but you eventually got up and tried again until you met mastery.

This year, my mission is to help women reach their mastery – maximize the potential that may lie dormant within. Here are some simple things you can do to get start on reaching your mastery:

·    Identify one area or task you would like to improve in the next 30 days.

·    Write down what you want to achieve. When you ink your desires, you are also making a mental note and reminder of what you wish to achieve. You are making it known to the world what you want to achieve.

·    Explore what resources or people you need to help you reach your goal. Do you need money, to do some research, clothing, supplies, education, books, or an accountability partner? Remember, YouTube is a great resource! My daughter watched a how to crochet YouTube video and shouted, “Now I get it!” I want everything to fall into place like that for you.

·    Make a plan of action. Print off a free calendar template from www.calendarlabs.com or www.vertex42.com or take a lined piece of paper and on the left hand side going down line by line – number from 1-30. Next I want you to write down one task you will do each day and remember it does not have to be a big task or take tons of your time. I can already hear some of you saying, “Will this take a lot of time?” The answer is no. For example, if you are learning to crochet, you might buy the supplies one day, look at the how to book for instruction another day, and make a slip knot the next day. By the end of 30 days, you may have a dish cloth or even a scarf. Maybe your goal is to declutter your office – one day could be sorting papers into piles or shredding papers, another day could be making file folders for your papers, and the next could be donating books you have not looked at in the past year. Do you see what I am say? Keep it simple, step by step, consistent.

·    Take action, learn from mistakes, and move forward. You need to take consistent action to get results. Mistakes happen; rarely do people get it right on the first try and if you do – be pleasantly surprised!

Think of Thomas Edison – imagine if he would have given up after one or two tries? Either it would be pretty dark around here or someone else who is more persistent would have succeeded. Which to you want to be – the person who gives up or the one who is persistent and who eventually gets to where they want to go?