positive psychology Archives - Page 2 of 2

Why Optimism Beats Pessimism

July 20, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

You are faced with a variety of life events and circumstances every day. Each event or situation can be viewed in a positive or negative way. Your perspective is your outlook on the world around you. According to psychologists, you are either an optimist viewing the world from the viewpoint of a glass “half-full” or a pessimist viewing the world as a glass “half-empty”. For the most part, you are not happy or sad 100% of the time but you will lean more to one or the other disposition predominantly. Which one are you?

“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so.”
― Noam Chomsky

The Optimist

Optimism is defined as taking on a favorable view of events or circumstances and to expect positive outcomes. Optimistic character symbols are the fish Dory from the Disney Film Finding Nemo with her positive attitude and phrase, “Just Keep Swimming” demonstrating persistence. The Donkey from the movie Shrek does not seem to let anything bother him – everything just rolls off his back. The Disney character Goofy seems to do things without doubting of things with work out; he just does. You may see these characters as overly optimistic but it helps them face any adversity that comes their way.

Optimistic people look for the good in situations and believe that most people’s actions are filled with good intentions. They have a “can-do” attitude and see negative events as a temporary setback and see these hardships as learning opportunities for growth. They persist when faced with adversity. An optimistic person practices gratitude and acknowledges what is going well. They are positive and are confident in their abilities. When optimistic people share the events of their day, they tend to focus on sharing good events over negative ones. Uncertainty does not throw optimists off track; they see unscheduled or unplanned events as an opportunity and adventure to be seized.

The Pessimist

Pessimists are in the state of mind of expecting only the worst outcomes. These people have similar characteristics to the characters of Chicken Little who created a widespread panic that the sky was falling when it was only an acorn that fell, Charlie Brown was full of dread, negativity and worry, and Eeyore who was full of doom and gloom. People with these pessimistic characteristics can wear on the patience of others and suck the energy out of a room.

Pessimistic people believe that negative events were caused by them. What power they have! They believe that one mistake leads to a Domino Effect of mistakes. If something positive was to occur to them like a promotion or winning a prize, they would attribute these successes to luck, chance, or a fluke accident and the likelihood of it ever happening again was nearly impossible.

A pessimist can cause habit in the marketplace, business, or organization. They can negatively influence their employees, colleagues, and co-workers. I have watched this happen and it can move like wildfire. They start demonstrating poor work habits, carelessness, and lack of motivation. They become distracted and disengaged with the people who they are serving. Stress increase as these individuals gossip and complain. Others start to dread coming to work. They see setbacks as permanent and they are less flexible in challenging their perspective. There is increased fear, worry, and anxiety about the future which in turn impacts productivity and performance and thus the bottom line – profits.

Ultimately, optimism beats pessimism. Optimists live longer healthier lives. They have lower stress levels because they do not allow situations and life circumstances to dictate their happiness. They tend to be more successful and have increased productivity. Optimism impacts your overall well-being – it “feels good” to be positive and uplifting.

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

Way to Beat the Doom and Gloom of Pessimism

Challenging assumptions by questioning your thoughts (Is your thought true?)
Reframe negative thoughts into positive thoughts
Learn from mistakes and adjust your course by doing it again until you get it
“Act as if”; be who you need to be now to achieve what you are trying to succeed at. Do not wait to be in the leadership role to become a leader.
Look for the good and what you have to be grateful for. The more you are grateful for, the more that will show up in your life to be grateful for.

Each day we have a choice. Which perspective will you choose – the optimist or the pessimist? At the end of the day, optimism beats pessimism. You cannot help wanting to be a part of the positive energy; it contagious. What attitude do you want to spread? How full or empty is your glass?

I believe it is not how full or empty your glass is what determines the quality of your life; it is about the people you meet, the places you travel to, and choices you choose to fill it with. Seize the opportunities live life to its fullest and drink up!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

How to Master the Mental Game to Achieve Peak Performance

July 6, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

We take for granted the power of our thinking. I was recently talking with my son about his golf game. He was preparing for a golf tournament. I wanted to know how he mentally prepared for his golf game – what was he thinking with every shot? When I asked him, he mentioned that his mind is a clear state. “I try to think of nothing.” How was this possible?

Last year, when he played I noticed that when he was on tournament tour his score was significantly higher than when he was golfing with family and friends. Even though he did not talk about it, I could sense the performance anxiety and the analyzing of every shot. I would talk with him about the power of positive thought and self- talk. Focus on what you want not what you don’t want. Golf, life, and business are all about the mental game.

Recently, he came home from the driving range and stated, “Mom, guess what? My friend asked me the same question you did. What are you thinking before you take your shot?” He laughed and mentioned that I ask him that question regularly – nothing. His friend went on to tell him about the power of positive thinking and how golf was a mental game. I was grinning, “Son, what does your mother tell you and what does she teach others?” Yeah, I know Mom. He said it would change my game if I thought that every shot I take I thought about hitting a great shot. You know what? It works!”

“When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”

Buddist Proverb

Maybe I was not the right teacher. I even talked to him about the Power Poses that Amy Cuddy talks about in her TEDTalk. I asked him to do the “Victory Stance” with his arms up in the air. He teased me, “My mom is crazy!” with his arms up the air beaming ear to ear. Teenagers! It definitely created a positive state. Now his friends have even started doing it. Subliminal messaging may work!

How does apply to life and business? Your mindset directly influences how your act and perform. Your self-talk directly impacts your thinking and ultimately your focus.

Personal Mantras

Golf performance coach, David MacKenzie talks about having personal mantras. Keeping a positive focus is a must. Whether you are on the golf course, selling your products, or delivering a business presentation, you need to keep your head in the game.

The most powerful phrase is… “I am…”

Joel Osteen talks about “Whatever follows I am will follow.”

Make it empowering. Say things like…

I am a great presenter.

I am an effective leader.

I am mentally tough.

I am capable of overcoming any challenge.

The way you speak to yourself does matter. You may not think anything of it but it does. You can be sabotaging your own success.

Focus on the present…be mindful

Take a deep breath when you are faced with a challenge. Deep breathing is not only calming but it helps bring you back to the present moment – the opportunity at hand. Your mind can be freed of the mental chatter clouding your judgment. Whatever challenge you are facing, know that you can figure it out. Just Breathe.

Don’t Beat Yourself Up

We can be our worst critics pointing out every fault, flaw, or failure. We are harder on ourselves than we are with others. What we say and think about ourselves is not always the realistic. Your thinking can be distorted.

Challenge your assumptions and question your thoughts. Remember you are a work in progress.

Exaggerating. Are you thinking of the situation as the end of the world? This is it – it’s over. If so, you are missing out on the learning and the possibilities that lie in front of you.

Black and White Thinking. There is no room for compromise. If it not a certain way, it is not right. Remember there is more than one way to get to your destination. What else can you do?

Emotional Reasoning. No matter what you are thinking, you can find proof to demonstrate you are right even though it may not be the what is actually going on. “I think and feel it is true. I can find evidence to prove it.”

Mindreading. You are assuming what others are thinking or saying about you without even knowing the truth. If you really want to know ask. Otherwise, remember the saying, “What other people think of you is none of your business.”

Reframe & Replace

Pay attention to your self-talk. What are you saying to yourself? We have 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts in a day and the majority of thought is said to be 80% negative so it is very important to pay attention to what you are thinking and reframe and replace it with positive thinking and words.

If you are saying…

“The presentation (meeting) was awful.” Change it to… “I can do better on the next one.”

“I am a failure.” Change it to… “I am learning and growing.”

“I will never get it right.” Change it to… “I will take a different approach next time.”

Drop words like always, never, and can’t from your vocabulary. Shift your thinking from thinking things are impossible to possible.

Positive thinking impacts your performance. When I work with my clients, your mindset is a key piece that we focus on. Utilize these strategies to develop mental toughness and confidence so you can master your mental game and achieve peak performance. As the saying goes, “What you think about you bring about.”

3 Ways High Performers Get into the Zone

June 9, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Have you ever wondered how they do it? You know how the high performers get so laser focused on achieving their goals.

Some people call it “getting into the zone” or “into the flow”; this is where you are super focused and your concentration is full on. You become an unstoppable force in pursuit – in pursuit of a grand vision.

You may think that getting into the zone was only reserved for athletes; however, it applies to anyone who wants to be a high performer. You could be preparing for the big board meeting or pitching a business idea. You could be an artist painting a picture, a musician preparing for a big gig, or a student studying for an exam. What areas of your life do you what to be known as a high performer?

High performers all have three things in common: motive, mindset, and mastery.

Motive

High performers have a clear understanding of what motivates them. High performers are motivated from within and do not necessarily need someone outside in themselves to push them toward their goals. Recognition and rewards can be motivating but are not often the sole motivators. They know their “why” for doing what they want to do and they make specific plans to get there. They take time to learn how to do what they want to do and break it down into smaller manageable pieces. These performers have a clear picture of how everything may unfold; and they learn to let go and trust in their abilities.

Mindset

High performers prepare their mindset by eliminating as many distractions as possible. Have you ever seen the movie “The Legend of Bagger Vance” with Will Smith and Matt Damon? Matt Damon’s character was a golfer who needed to have the ability to zone the crowd out and focus on his next shot. When high performers get in the zone they are able to move be laser focused on what they are working on without distraction.

They may eliminate clutter or create a space or environment where they feel at their best. Clutter can be external like messy desk or piles clothing waiting to be folded. Internal clutter such as negative self-talk can create self-doubt and sabotage your actions. Listening to music or podcasts can put you in a good mood and leave you in a positive state.

Exercise is an excellent way to set your mindset. It increases blood flow to the brain making you more alert and awake during exercise but more focused after exercise. Yoga, meditation, and prayer also focus the mind. For some high performers timing can be everything, they work when their energy is the highest to achieve the greatest results. An example of this is the person who gets up early or the person who stays up late to do what they need to do.

Mastery

High performers imagine their success and m person mastery. They do this through the power of visualization and acting as if they have already achieved what they already want. Start each day or end every evening visualizing achieving success in details as if it was reality. Actor Jim Carrey credited his success to the power of visualization. He wrote himself a check for $10 million dollars for acting services rendered. Vision boards are a very powerful tool to keep what you want top of mind.

“Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe.” – Oprah Winfrey

Journaling your success is another way to focus on what you wish to achieve. Write out the events as if everything was unfolding the way you want it to be. Your perception is your reality.

Remember the brain cannot distinguish between what is real and imagined so putting yourself in the state and imagining yourself as of achieving it makes it real. Your positive thoughts influence your feelings and the actions you will take to achieve your goals. High performers often attribute practice and more practice as the key to their success. They aim to give their very best to succeed.

To be a high performer, you must be persistent and stay committed to your course of action. You must know what you want and why you want what you want. You must enjoy what you do in order to do it well.

What actions will you take to get into the zone and become a high performer?

The Hidden Truth behind Not Good Enough and Good Enough

July 27, 2015 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Have you, a friend, or colleague ever made a proclamation “I am not good enough”? This self-sabotaging belief is a common roadblock or obstacle hindering a person’s success.

If you catch yourself saying this, I am guessing that you heard this message growing up or you are a perfectionist. Often, perfectionists fail to execute or take action because they believe they do not measure up – everything needs to be perfect.

Perfection paralyzes taking action. Striving for perfection can be exhausting. This belief of not being good enough is just a thought. What matters is the meaning and the power you give to the thought of “not being good enough” is where the problem lies.

You could create a long laundry list of areas that you are not good enough: you’re not slim enough, you’re not tall enough, your teeth not white enough, you’re not pretty or handsome enough to get the man or woman of your dreams or you’re not smart enough to get the promotion or land the big contract and the list goes on. What is good enough?

Not good enough… By whose definition? Whose terms?

“Being not good enough” is a harsh judgment you put on yourself. Would you place the same judgment on your family member or best friend? You are comparing yourself to people who are also comparing themselves to others. With each comparison, you those sight of what makes you unique and valuable. Their measurements for themselves are not the same as how you measure yourself. We do not all use the same yardstick.

You are good enough.

Focus on making progress not making perfect. Let go of perfection for it is an illusion. You may still attend to the details as long as you take action steps to move forward.

The person who sees themselves with humility knows that there may be someone better than they are or someone just beginning their journey. Good for them-they are on their journey and you and yours.

Use the phrase “not good enough” to fuel you becoming better than you were yesterday-skills and abilities can be developed.

Don’t let it stop you from taking action.

I’d rather work with someone who will put in the effort than someone who says that’s “good enough” to get by. You cannot be an Olympic athlete, real estate mogul, bestselling author, or top 100 best businesses to work for by just getting by.

Raise the bar. Just good enough is often not enough.

Give 100% of your best effort into all that you do on any given day.

Live, work, and play with no regrets.

Progress ignites belief in oneself to take more inspired action. The mindset of only putting enough effort to get by has poor results to show for it.

Do you want to just get by or do you want more for yourself?

By putting in your best effort into your work, relationships, and your life, you will achieve greater happiness and fulfillment.

The hidden truth is your personal best is enough. You more than enough – get started and adjust your course along the way. You are further ahead than those who have yet to get started.

You are enough now in this moment.

Now go out and start taking action!