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EPISODE 117 – Don’t Be an Ass! Ask for Help

July 27, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Leadership begins by asking how you can make things better?”
― Jeffrey Fry

One of the greatest challenges new leaders face is asking for help. You can probably relate to being in a new role wanting to prove your capability to those around you. You do not want to show your weakness for fear that someone will think they made a mistake for hiring you. You want everyone to believe that you have the knowledge, skills, and abilities to do the work they have been hired you to do. If you are a new leader or even a seasoned leader in a new role, you may find it awkward or difficult to ask your peers or co-workers for help because you should know how to do what you need to do. You may be stubborn and avoid asking for help to appear competent.

Don’t Be an Ass! Ask for help!

There is nothing worse than cleaning up a mess that could have been prevented if someone only took the time to ask. However, at the same time, people know and should expect new leaders to ask questions. I would be more worried if they did not! The “act as if” philosophy is about showing up and doing the things the person you aspire to be would show up as. What information or education do you need to make your decision or provide advice? What questions do you need to ask of your peers or colleagues to learn about the history or culture of the organization? What opportunity is there to shadow others in different departments who work with you so you can gain an understanding and appreciate what others do and how it may relate to the work you do?

Some people feel asking for help is a weakness. No…it is not. It is a strength. A person who asks questions, takes time to learn from others, and follows someone who shares the keys to success is more successful than someone before them with folded arms being too stubborn to ask!

I remember when I first became a new manager. Other managers congratulated me and shared with me some of the things they thought I would benefit from in knowing and then there was another colleague who came up and said, “You know you will have to prove yourself.” Wow! I was taken back. Yes, I had skipped a level or two but I knew I was a quick learner. I did not assume I knew everything, in fact, I learned very quickly that each level of growth has new challenges. You practically feel like you are starting from the beginning all over again! I was not sure if I was trying to prove to my team I could lead them, the colleague that I could do the work, or prove to myself that I had what it took. Maybe, all three. I was confident enough in myself to get to where I was. Why would I not be confident in my ability to seek the knowledge and skills I needed to be a good leader?

I was not an ass! I asked!

I asked many questions. I did research. I wrote notes in a journal. I was determined to become the leader and manager I wanted to be. I even asked the colleague for a meeting and explained that her comment bothered me. I explained that I felt I had many skills and strengths to offer and I was eager and willing to learn from her and the other managers. What was it that she felt I needed to prove? She explained from her perspective that because I had skipped a few levels within the department some people might not see me as competent to answer questions or lead them. Without being given a chance to prove, I was already judged!

I gathered my courage and I asked more questions!

Everything she had shared was from her experience and situations where she had to prove herself. It was her perspective of how things needed to be done – not mine! I asked for her support and asked if she was comfortable with me asking her questions. I asked for her to give me the grace to be the leader I needed to be without the pressure of her judgment for I was who I was and I needed to learn to be the leader I envisioned myself to be. My greatest lesson – too never take anything personally – it is another person’s viewpoint based on their experiences. We continued to develop our relationship until she had moved into a different role.

My greatest lesson – don’t be an ass! Ask for help when you need it. It like having all the resources you need to succeed around and never using them. What a waste! Don’t let your stubbornness hold you back from being the leader you know you are meant to be.

“The way is yours for the asking – the way is yours for the taking. The way is as it should be.”
― Karen Hackel, The Whisper of Your Soul

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. Book your complimentary Discovery Session by going to the Coach with Debra page on my website and send me your interest and we will set up a time and date to learn about how coaching can benefit you. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Episode 115 – Talking with Giants with Scott Schilling

July 20, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Meet Our Guest:

Scott Schilling is The Significance Expert committed to providing Inspired Answers to Today’s Challenges through his TV Show, Podcasts, speaking, training, consulting and coaching. Scott helps individuals and organizations systematically grow personally, professionally, financially and spiritually. No matter where you are in your path from Survival to Success to Significance, Scott gives the guidance, direction and actions steps necessary to get from where you are to where you want to be!

Scott brings a unique combination of 35+ years of life experience in sales, marketing and training to corporations, business owners, entrepreneurs and individuals. He has presented at nearly 2,000 live events sharing the stage with General Colin Powell, Rudy Giuliani, former first lady Laura Bush and many more.

As an Internationally accomplished and entertaining presenter, Scott has spoken to hundreds of thousands of attendees across a range of industries. Scott brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise to the airwaves, board room, podium and print. Scott has written 10 books to date including the recently released “Without Customers…Ya Got Nothin’!”

Scott is a highly sought after Significance Expert because of the results he produces. His training propelled one client’s business to grow from approximately $8 million annually to almost $80 million in just under 6 six years.

Schilling earned his B.B.A in Marketing and Insurance from the University of Iowa.

Scott’s Life Purpose is: To Inspire and Empower others to serve humanity through living their life’s purpose in Spirit, Love and Joy!

To contact Scott, he can be reached by calling at (972) 659-8941, via email at Scott@ScottSchilling.com

Episode 91 – The Leadership Gap with Lolly Daskal

April 27, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Meet Our Guest:

Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world.
Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies.

As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world. Based on a mix of modern philosophy, science, and nearly thirty years coaching top executives, Lolly’s perspective on leadership continues to break new ground and produce exceptional results.

Of her many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and
Management Expert by Inc. magazine.

Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others.

Lolly’s proprietary insights are the subject of her new book, The Leadership Gap:
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness, and is available for pre- order www.theleadershipgapbook.com

Episode 79 – Drive Business Results

March 16, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“It is in doing things and not reading about them that results come about.”
―Stephen Richards

When it comes to driving your businesses results, steer clear of promises of get-rich-quick schemes or offers to make you an overnight success. Warning, when you hear something that is too good to be true, it often is. You know those people you think about being an overnight success – they are not. You did not witness the sacrifices, the work that was put in, and the sweat and tears that went into getting to where they are today. They were the ones honing their craft while others were out partying it up. They finally reached a tipping point where all their efforts, hard work, and dedication stood out in the crowded marketplace. If you want to drive your business results, you need to look beyond the bottom line. Your bottom-line is important but should not be your sole focus.

Communicating Your Vision and Values The leader of the organization needs to be able to communicate the vision and values for the business in order to gain by in from the people. There is great debate whether businesses and organization should be well managed or well led. There may be a decent argument for a little bit of both. When people are focused on the process, sometimes they lose sight of the impact on the people and how it ripples to the rest of their lives. As a leader, I have a different perspective. I believe that if you gain the trust and buy-in, you gain engagement. Engagement of your people with drive your business results as your people can share ideas and an invested interest in reaching the end goal = making the vision a reality.

Sharing the Benefits Remember when sharing your vision that you need to share the benefits too – the benefits to your people as individuals, as a group, and the entire organization and the people served. People are always looking for “What’s in it for me?” and wondering “Is what I am doing meaningful and does it make a difference?” Let them know that they matter and how what their involvement does.

Appreciating and Recognizing Your People For some people the monetary incentive is attractive but what intrinsically drives people more is that you are catching them doing something good! Let the people who work for you know what a great job they do and focus on specifics so they can do more of it. You can recognize them for their attendance, follow through, how they handled a situation or project, or the presentation they were nervous about. When someone appreciates you and believes in you, you will go out of your way to ensure that you are giving your very best.

Streamline Processes or Discover New Ways to Become More Efficient “A Better Way” Of Doing Things You can drive your business results and performance by looking for ways to become more efficient. Reflect and keep track of wastes of time, money, and resources. You may be surprised with what you uncover. By paying attention to the smallest detail you can save time, money, and resources if you look for ways to be better and stronger.

Boost Your Revenue with New Products and Services in the Marketplace Many people are interested in the newest and latest and greatest products and services on the market. When was the last time you brought something new to the marketplace? No one said you needed to create something new entirely. Is there something that needs to be upgrading or updated that you could relaunch? Sales and marketing are an important strategy to getting your voice heard in the marketplace.

Manage Your Expenses and Invest Where You Need to You need to measure and evaluate where your money is going to make good decisions. You can’t just look at an area of business and think I need to cut costs here or cut costs there without evaluating the impact. You want to be responsive in business not reactive. Sometimes you need to invest your money to increase productivity which in turn can lead to increased profit.

Building and Supporting Community There is nothing better than building strength in numbers. By building and supporting your community through charity functions, cross promotion, and collaboration, you can drive business results to extraordinary results. People want to work with people who care about what they care about. When you participate in a fundraiser, charity function, or volunteer, you help your business or organization come alive into a breathing living entity of vision and values in action! Who do you like to do business with and why?

If you want to drive your business results, you want to be purposeful and strategic in getting the outcomes you want. Create an emotional connection to what you want to achieve and you will have many people wanting to help you make that goal a reality. People want to be a part of your success! Let them be a part of the action that makes it happen.

“The results of knowledge without application results in nothing at all. Do what you know better to do.”
― DeWayne Owens

What action will you take today?

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

Time: 8:46 min

Keywords: Communicate your vision effectively, vision, leadership, business, team, share your vision, what is in it for me, drive business results, drive your business results, boost your revenue, manage your expenses, appreciate your people, share the benefits, communicate your vision and values

Episode 77 – Fighting Negativity

March 9, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“See if you can catch yourself complaining, in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So, change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

We have all encountered people who have the glass half full viewpoint (optimist) and those with the glass half empty viewpoint (pessimist). Which one are you? Did you know we have 50,000-70,000 thoughts a day? 98% of those thoughts you have had the day before. Eighty percent of those thoughts are negative. It sounds crazy but most of your thoughts are not conscious thoughts. You have not brought them to your attention. When you do bring those thoughts to your attention, you have a choice whether to respond or not respond to them. If you focus or put your attention on a thought, you are giving energy to it or empowering that thought even if that thought could be wrong.

Don’t believe everything you think without questioning it. Your imagination can run away from itself – thinking often the worst of a situation rather than the best. To fight negativity, you must start with dealing with the negativity within.

Defeat the Negativity Within

Start by paying attention to what your inner voice is saying in any given situation. Is it empowering you or shaming you?

You cannot think a negative thought and a positive thought at the same time. When you think a negative thought, identify the thought and challenge your thought by questioning any assumptions you may be making. Surely, you have never made an assumption that was wrong before. I have I know I am not the only one. Remember though only have the meaning we give them. So, if you do not like the thought you are thinking, think a different thought or don’t give it meaning or your attention. Shift your energy by reframing the thought positively. Reframing will help change your perspective on some of the limiting beliefs you may be having. For example,

“I am not good enough to be chosen for the promotion.”

Is this thought true?

How do you know?

What do you want to be thinking?

“I AM good enough to be chosen for the promotion.”

Feel the energy shift. Wherever you focus your time and attention to, you will get more of. What are some of the self-limiting beliefs that you are having? Write out what your self-limiting beliefs are. Challenge the assumptions you may be making. Reframe the thought to an empowering thought. What do you want to be thinking? Consider capturing your thoughts by writing them down in a journal and reframing them.

Stop exposing yourself to negativity. Steer clear from watching the news first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed. There is a lot of negative news going on the world that can really affect your mood and mindset. What kind of movies and books to you read? What are you feeding your mind with? I am hoping is entertaining you, inspiring you, or educating you to become the best you can be!

Develop an attitude of gratitude. Start and end your day in gratitude. Gratitude is about being thankful and appreciative of something tangible or intangible and how it has impacted our lives. What are you grateful for? Positive psychology research shows that people who are grateful tend to be happier. Tell people in your life that you are grateful for them in your life or send them a thank you card. Too busy to write (even though I still suggest you send a card) – you may choose to thank them mentally.

The Negative Relationships – The Toxic People

Attitudes are contagious. Be careful who you surround yourself with; ensure you are spending time with positive people who encourage and support you. One of the greatest lessons I have learned is to not take other people’s negativity personally. Their reaction to things is about what is going on for them in their mind and life and often has very little to do with you. A toxic person is someone who makes a person feel bad about themselves by talking down to them, criticizing them, or belittling them. They may tell you that you can’t do things or you’re not good enough or talented enough to be successful. Do you know where that is coming from? It comes from their own fears of you succeeding or even that fact that they are not and did not go after their own goals.

Gandhi once said, “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with dirty feet.” You get to choose whether you will respond or react. Sometimes the toxic people may be people you are related to. Often the best things to do in these cases are to change the subject of the conversation or set boundaries by expressing what you are willing to talk about and what you are not willing to talk about. You are in control of letting that messaging in or keeping it out and how it impacts you. Limit your contact with toxic people.

The Negative Environment

Somethings you can control and somethings you cannot. You want to focus on what you can control.

Focus on solutions and the next positive step. It is easy to replay negative experiences over and over in our heads like a movie – reliving every moment. Is that what you really want? Learn to let go of past hurts. They occurred in the past and they cannot be changed.

Focus on the present – it what you can control. Redirect the topic and take control of the situation.

Keep the lines of communication open. Talk about your concerns openly and ask questions to avoid any misunderstandings. Again, your imagination can run wild if you do not ask questions to ensure you understand things correctly.

Deal with issues/concerns head on. Do not avoid having important conversations that you need to have. They can fester and exploded into much bigger problems and damage morale if not tended to immediately.

Follow up with others that you work and spend time with. This “pulse check” can help you determine if everyone is getting along or there are any concerns you may not be aware of. By being aware, positive changes can create positive results. Be proactive.

Be careful not to minimize the positive. Fighting negativity is a work in progress. It is too easy to fall into the trap of getting caught up in negative thinking, gossiping with others, and creating a toxic environment if you do not pay attention to where your thoughts are at any given moment.

Empower yourself by thinking empowering thoughts. When you think positive, you are giving a boost to your mood and you will take more affirmative actions to support your goals and objectives.

Time: 12:25 min