Debra Kasowski

EPISODE 170 – Change Your Routines Change Your Habits

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“Motivation is what gets you started.

Habit is what keeps you going.” 

Jim Rohn

Our habits are foundational to our success. I have been studying personal development for decades and it always fascinates me to learn the success habits of powerful people in life, leadership, and business. I love learning about how people grow and transform their lives. Success leaves clues so it is important to pay attention. Over the years, I have adapted and adjusted my routines to find out work best for me. If I made you pause over the last statement – great! I changed my routines to create new habits.

There is a difference between habits and routines.

Routine

When you have a routine, you have a set of habits. You have a regular way of doing things. A routine requires that you think about you are doing and can take a lot of energy in the beginning. Don’t worry you won’t expend too much energy once it is established. Once you build the routine it will eventually become unconscious.

Habits

Habits are those continual set of behaviors; a repeated way in which you do things. You often do not even think about it.

They are very important to adding structure too often a chaotic schedule of needing to do many things or be several places. You will notice that as children we thrived on structure and routines. As we became adults, we were exposed to new things – some serving us and some not.

When you get into the habit of doing things a certain way it is easy to become comfortable. Staying in this place can get people stuck and dissatisfied with the way things are. There is no challenge. Even the greatest athletes have learned to change things up – to fine-tune their skills. Tiger Woods would change up his swing. Wayne Gretzky would change up the way he skated on the ice. You only grow on the outside of your comfort zone. Growth comes from new experiences and lessons. If everything stays the same, how will you grow? Create a 21-day challenge for yourself to do one thing every day that will challenge you.

Stepping out of your comfort zone exposes you to a new experience in which you see things from a different perspective, challenge assumptions, and stretch into your potential. You may take bigger calculated risks.

According to researchers, it takes 21- 66 days to change or create a new habit. It all starts with your routines. Examine how your day looks. What do you do each day to set up you day for success? I know some of you are shouting coffee – “I can’t start the day without coffee?” Take some time to think about routines you have in place.

What do you do without even thinking about it? For example, some people have a smoke after every meal. They may have been doing this for years. It is something they “just do” after eating. It became a routine. Change up the routine and you can then change the habit. Stop smoking after meals; change the activity. Maybe you go for a short walk instead. If you have a habit of retail therapy and the mall is your trigger to spend. Go with a list or a free-standing store instead if hitting the store up in the mall. Go with a shopping with a specific list or a certain amount of money. Do not take your credit cards with you. Change the association, change the routine, and change the habit.

How you start your day is often how you end it. Start by creating a morning routine and schedule that serves you.

Spend time in silence and clear your head. You may decide to meditate or pray. You are open and ready when you are in a state of calmness.

Repeat powerful affirmations, watch an empowering video or listen to a podcast to get your head in the game.

Write down 3 things you are grateful for? Why not send out a gratitude card? Journal your thoughts, trials, and tribulations to gain a clear perspective of the supportive and non-supportive stories you may be telling yourself. Let your mind wonder over possibilities and look for solutions.

Visualize and focus on the outcomes you want to achieve. Feel what it will feel like to achieve those things. What do you need to do to become, do, or have those things you visualize?

Ensure you are getting regular exercise – get the blood flowing throughout your body.

Read or listen to a book in your industry or personal development.

Create new routines establishes habits that serve you.

Set yourself up for success. Become self-aware of what habits are serving you and which ones are not serving you. Where do these habits show up? Which routines? Change up the routine. Suppose you are an entrepreneur and you put all you receipts in a shoebox and year end you gather and organize them and give them to the accountant. How do you know how much money you have on a regular basis? You make better decisions when you know the flow of money coming in and the flow of money going out. To change routine, you could keep a spreadsheet and set aside part of a day or a day to focus on working with your numbers every week. You could hire a bookkeeper and set aside time to scan over or turn in your receipts. Break the habit, swap the habit, create a new habit by changing up your routine.

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get my just release FREE e-book about the 21 Habits High Achievers Kick to Achieve Success. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Episode 57: Watch Your Language: The Power of Words

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Episode 57: Watch Your Language: The Power of Words

The words we use have more power than we give them credit for. We take words for granted. Several years ago I remember reading a person’s blog about a child who was scolded the Costco store while his parents were waiting in return line. The child started to get restless as many children would have. You can watch the confident child who was playful shrinking down into silence. Words can deflate and destroy or words can create confidence and empower. Words do matter.

35552684 - farmer hand planting a seed in soil

You may have heard statements throughout your childhood from teachers, parents, coaches, or even your peers. The statements good or bad you have allowed to grow -for they planted a seed. The seed you had a choice to either hold onto and play over and over in your mind or reject it. The seed only grows when you nurture it or give it attention. You may have even heard people making fun of others in derogatory ways. Even with joking, people do not always realize that they can be hurtful.

“An Old Cherokee Tale of Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’

The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’” –
Native American Legend

When we look at communication, we pay attention to the words but also to the tone and intent of what is being said. People make judgments very quickly. It is important that you choose to speak impeccably about yourself and others. There is so much power in the words that we use. I remember when the speaker sharing with me a conversation that occurred in the restroom about one of the other speakers at a conference without realizing that their microphone was on. Not only was it embarrassing for the conference organizers, it was also hurtful to the person that they were speaking about which was broadcasted to the people attending the conference. I never heard the outcome but I sure hope that a public apology occurred.

The other thing I want to remind you is to not judge others by an appearance or get caught up in gossip. If you’re upset, take the time to remove yourself from the situation if possible see you can think clearly and speak with intention. When people are upset they often say things that they later regret. You don’t want to burn bridges, you never know where someone is going in their lives which could later influence or impact the direction that you had as well. If you want others to speak well of you, you must speak well of others.

40516957 - words have power word on notebook pageThe words you use become your reality. The thoughts and feelings that you have influence the actions and words that you speak. If you say “I am not enough” and think and believe this, your actions will follow. You will not fully give of yourself because you believe you’re not enough. You’ll end up sabotaging yourself by holding back on what you’re capable of. You may even tell yourself “why bother?” If you say, you’re “not smart enough”, you will take actions to support that or look for ways to rationalize why this may be the truth. You may speak words of lack and scarcity and because that is your focus that’s what you will see in your reality. If you speak of abundance and use positive words, you will see abundance in your life and show gratitude. Remember you are planting seeds when you speak whether it is about yourself, about others or to others.

TMW_PDFclickhere.fwIn Dr. Marshall Goldsmith book, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, he talks about Habit #5: Starting with “no”, “but”, or “however”. When he was working with a coaching client, he would charge them $20 every time they stated no, but, or however in a statement. One CEO he was working with within an hour was charged $420 but was later donated to a charity. When you are using these words with the people you work with, you are stating that they are wrong and you were right.

“For example, “That’s true, however…” (Meaning: you don’t think it’s true at all.,.) Or the particularly common opener, is “Yes, but…” (Meaning: Prepare to be contradicted.)” –Dr. Marshall Goldsmith

The statement can be frustrating to the people that you’re working with because they see it as a no-win situation.

The word “try” really means that you’re totally not committed. In the words of Yoda from Star Wars, “There is no try you either do or you do not.” When I started catching myself saying the word try I also asked myself if I was wholeheartedly in or just interested. What I learned was if I really want something to happen I need to make a choice to do something not just to dabble in it. What are you “trying” to do and wondering why it’s not working?

In conversation sometimes I’ll hear someone say, “I think this.. is possible”. You want to speak with conviction you must know and believe something to be true. I think comes across as wishy-washy not something spoken with conviction and intent.

Beware of extreme words. These are words such as always and never. Is it true that someone always does something 100% of the time? Is it true that someone never does what they’re told hundred percent of the time? The word “can’t” also be considered extreme as you either you can or you cannot. Many people focus on what they can’t do that they never can realize what they can do it they only put in the effort. They talk themselves out of even making the attempt before even doing something.

When you hear people come up with great ideas or do something outstanding, take the time to give these people credit for their ideas. Your voice and message have so much power. You never know who needs to hear those words of encouragement and how their lives can be changed because you took the time to listen for acknowledging something that they have said. The change that we wish to see the world begins with us and it begins with the power we have with the words we use. Don’t abuse the power. Use the power to build others up and help them step into the potential of food they have yet to be.

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time:13:32 min

Keywords: the power of words, power of words, build people up, speak impeccably, power of intention, tone, communication, Marshall Goldsmith, habits

7 Reasons Why People Are Resistant to Goal Setting

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Have you ever had a new idea or want to implement something and you face resistance? Do you ever feel that you’re defending yourself or your ideas? Do you sometimes feel that you’re lowering your standards because you can’t get others to buy in? Facing resistance can be very challenging when you’re goal setting. Resistance can also work in your favour if you know how to leverage it. When you are faced with resistance, I want you to challenge your assumptions and ask more questions to identify, “Where this resistance is coming from?” Is this resistance coming from yourself and your own beliefs or is this resistance being placed on you do to another person’s belief?

“Resistance is a powerful motivator precisely because it enables us to fulfill our longing to achieve our goals while letting us boldly recognize and name the obstacles to those achievements.”
― Derrick A. Bell

Many people attribute their success to goal-setting. There are other individuals who do not see the reason or the importance of setting goals. They are what we will call the “resistors”. These are the people that no matter how much you are going to try and convince them; they are just not going to buy in. According to the online Oxford dictionary, resistance is “the refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.”

Resistors are the ones who will see the world through a different lens than you. Instead of fueling the resistance, it can be helpful to gain an understanding of their perspective. It has been my learning through appreciative inquiry that when faced with resistance or someone providing negative feedback it is important to gain an appreciation of that person’s viewpoint. There may be nuggets of information that can be considered valuable to a project or to the goals set themselves.

There may be several reasons behind they are resisting setting goals or following through on them even though many people have proved to be successful goal setting.

#1 Afraid Of Commitment By “Inking” The Goal. For some people, writing out a goal on paper means that they’re making a declaration or a commitment to what they are doing. Suddenly they go from talking a good talk to actually walking the talk in doing what they say they want to do. This can be frightening and at the same time so powerful. When a person sets the goal and writes it down, the mere writing it down in ink suddenly makes it seem more real. This is when all the doubts, self-limiting beliefs, and all the internal chatter comes up.

What to Do: Tap into the “why”. What makes this goal so exciting? What is holding the resistor back from inking the goal? What is their true fear? What will it feel like to achieve the outcome that is desired? What impact will it make? How will they be part of making a difference?

# 2 Different View of How Things Should Be Done. Similar to the sales process or a person’s view of change, you may be faced with objections or resistance. There are many ways to get to the same outcome. Sometimes when we face resistance we feel challenged and get frustrated.

What to Do: Ask insightful questions to learn more about the other person’s perspective and share your perspective. Are there any similarities? What can you learn from the other person’s viewpoint? Is it possible that there could be more efficient and effective way of getting to the same outcome?

#3 Different Vision of the Outcome. People may become disinterested in supporting a project or goal because they have a different vision of what the outcome could be. Resistance may show up because the resistor doesn’t have enough information or has not been influenced to believe that this vision is compelling.

What to Do: You may consider saying the following:

“It sounds like you have a different view of how things should be. What vision do you see? What approach do you believe we should be taking? Tell me more…”

#4 Fear Sets In. There may be many fears that creep up when setting goals. There is the fear of rejection and not being accepted. You may believe that people will laugh at your goals or the ideas you present. Remember is that your goal is your goal and it needs to be important to you. People will always have their opinions. It is important not to take them personally. People often fear change due to uncertainty. The fear of success may also challenge you. Your imagination starts to take over and you think about all the things that could happen should your project or goal be achieved. Many of the things that you think of may or may not even happen and you may even feel that there’s a loss of control. The fear of failing may come up for you and this will prevent you from taking action steps required to go to war the goal. You become fearful of making mistakes and sometimes will not even try.

What to Do: Withholding your ideas does not serve anyone. Your idea could be the game changer that helps you reach the next level or transform approach if you might be working on. Whether it be that you have a fear of success, change, uncertainty, loss of control, or failure, know that you can take 100% responsibility for the choices that you make. Seek to gain more information and ask questions. Remember indecision is a decision. When you’re setting goals, evaluate the risks and be prepared for obstacles that don’t focus on. Focus on what you have control over and the actions steps that you can do. If mistakes occur, learn from them and move forward. Dwelling on them steals your energy and joy in moving toward the destination.

# 5 The Belief That Goal-Setting Stifles Creativity. For the creatives out there, you may see goal-setting is suffocating with tight deadlines and the need to multitask. The structure of goal setting can actually be beneficial to you so that you’re not distracted by all the other ideas that are streaming through your mind at any point in time.

“Every creative person, and I think probably every other person, faces resistance when they are trying to create something good…The harder the resistance, the more important the task must be.”
― Donald Miller

What to Do: Be open and present to new opportunities while pursuing a goal. Look for ways that a can in rich and allow for creativity along your journey. Know that there will be adjustments along the way. As you adjust be aware of your distractions, stay focused on the direction that you want to go. When creative people become resistant, it important to engage them in brainstorming and coming up with solutions. This is where they shine.

#6 Self-Limiting Beliefs Can Sabotage Goal-Setting. A person’s belief in their own ability to perform or deliver on tight deadlines can hold them back from achieving the goal or delivering the final product. Often these individuals lacked confidence in their abilities and sometimes believe that others are better than themselves. This comparison can hold them back from sharing their talents and abilities even if you see that they are capable and competent.

What to Do: Identify your strengths and acknowledge that we all have some limitations. Know what you’re good at and delegate what you do not believe you’re strong at. If you’re managing a team, let these individuals know the value that they bring to the project and that you acknowledge their knowledge, skills, and abilities. People can work harder when they know that someone has taken an interest in who they are and what they have to offer. Don’t just focus on people for the task by what they bring to the table and who they are.

#7 Personal Habits Can Get In The Way. Habits are often underestimated is the reason people resist setting a goal. Some people resist setting the goal because they’re procrastinating. They avoid goal setting versus setting up a strategic approach to conquering the goal. For some, they may believe that it will take up too much time, too much money, or it’s going to take away from their lives in some way. There are times when I believed people avoid setting goals because they know that setting a goal requires hard work and they just don’t want to put that work in. Some of these people do just enough to get by. Other habits that get in the way of goal achievement and goal setting are perfection, lack of attention to detail, distractions, and being overscheduled. Don’t forget a person’s attitude can forecast their altitude!

What to Do: Examine your habits and determine if they are serving you are holding you back. Ask yourself or the resistor if they may be procrastinating or what they may be trying to avoid. Learn how much time, money, and effort is required for each milestone dedicated toward the goal. Along the way, put out the following questions:

What is working?

What is not working?

What do I need to stop doing?

What needs to be improved?

What can I be doing differently?

No matter if you are managing your own resistance or the resistance of another person, there are ways to motivate and encourage individuals to raise their standards while also holding them accountable for their actions. Self-reflection is an important part of a person’s growth. It allows for self-awareness, self-management, and self-development. People cannot improve what they’re not aware of.

My challenge for anyone facing resistance is that you challenge your assumptions and assumptions of others. Resistance means that you must be curious and gain an understanding of what is being resisted. Discover new perspectives and realize that there are more ways to achieving the desired outcome. Trust your people and trust the process along the way.

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. Debra is the host of The Millionaire Woman Show podcast helping people live rich from the inside out through leadership, business, and human potential. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

EPISODE 5: Your Habits Determine Your Future

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We often think it is those big things or those big events or situations that determine our future. It is really about the little things that we do, the tasks-everything from getting up in the morning and brushing your teeth. The way you get up in the morning if you really broke it down you’ll notice you have certain habits or routines that are the same every day. Thinking about what those habits are. There are bad habits which people can pick up very quickly and there are the good habits those are the habits that support a healthy lifestyle that keeps you well so you can give your gifts and share them with the world.

Some of the bad habits you may have will be listed on the left-hand side and on the right side of the table you will notice ways to reframe them. Talk about how you can shift your bad habits and change them so you can put in more productive ways to improve the habits that you have so you can achieve success that you want. If habits determine your future, it is really important to dig deep, get self-aware and find out what could be holding you back from the success that you desire.

badhabitsandgoodhabits
REFRAME GOOD HABITS Avoiding difficult conversations.I am able to have difficult conversations in a timely manner and respectfully.Missing breakfast.I eat breakfast.Staying up late and sleeping in when you have to go to work or be at the office for a big presentation.I ensure I get adequate rest so I can think properly.Avoiding sales calls.I set a time to do the sales calls I need to do.Being late to meetingsI am on time or at least 5 minutes early.Not getting any exerciseI am exercising and feeling strong and confident.Not drinking enough water.I ensure that I am hydrated.Spending your money today without saving for the future.I pay myself first. I am saving for my future.Procrastination.I put my plan into action.PerfectionI get started and adjust as I go.

We talk about smoking and retail therapy – not only can they be a habit but also an addiction to fulfill a need.

At the end of the day, it is all about making a behavioral change. When we think about a changing behavior, we think “No it is not me who needs to make a change, it is the other person who has to change.” The only person you have control over is you and what you are doing for yourself.

Good habits are … see the reframing in the table above.

Imagine if you procrastinated on taking out the trash. Things would get a little stinky and smelly. The same thing happens with life situations, if you do not tend to them or nurture them- it can get out of hand.

Do what you need to do and get it out of the way.

A bad habit has a consequence. Missing breakfast today might not seem like a big deal but if you are missing it or having additional chocolate or extra portions, the consequences won’t be seen today. They are seen in the future – years down the road like with smoking and lung cancer. The consequences are not seen right now.

TMW_PDFclickhere.fwGood habits can be taken for granted – the healthy eating, going for a walk, walking the dog, or protecting yourself from the sun. These are all things to initiate good habits – good hygiene for example.

Look for the patterns. What are your bad habits? Identify them and write them down. Review your habits and think about 1-2 things you would like to make a plan to change. Financial. Exercise. Your Health. Once you create a plan, get help from someone who has a specialty in that area – someone you trust  or great knowledge to help you develop a change. You might a grab a book from the library or bookstore to help you develop a change.

Remember no one can make you change. The change needs to come from within. For example, let’s say weight loss is a subject. It is about gathering those resources and asking those questions. You could have a dietician come on board. You could have an exercise specialist or trainer. Grab some cookbooks from the bookstore. Learn how to cook differently. You may do research online Make sure you are going to credible websites because it seems like everyone is giving out advice.

Your habits will determine your future. What are 1-2 habits you would like to change in the next 30 days?

It is like a goal. We have a time stamp. We will re-evaluate in the next 30 days. Think about the strategies and make a plan for how you are going to make the change. How are you going to be held accountable?

The other things that can be seen as habits are: not brushing your teeth, not speaking up or making a request in the office, not making those sales calls, or doing the follow up with the people you met at the networking event. These are all habits that affect the success and the results you are getting.

The only way to change what you are doing is to ask:

  • What is working?
  • What is not working?
  • What do I need to improve?

Look at your habits and pick 1-2 that would have the greatest impact right on your life right now. We all have habits. When we take the time to reflect and we are self-aware of them that is when we can start creating the change.

When you show up and be the change in the world, you change the world around you. You may say, “Wow! Everyone changed!” Guess what? The change is actually YOU! It is one of the most powerful transformational changes that could be helping propel yourself forward. Take those habits and break them down into smaller pieces. What are you going to do this week? Today? Maybe you need to find an app for entering the data for how many glasses or water you drank or how many sit-ups you did. You may consider using a journal to track things.

Think about all the little things. The little things really affect the big picture.

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

 

Time 11:12 min

Personal Mastery is the Key to Professional Mastery

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Grab your free gift at www.debrakasowski.com by Signing Up for the Success Secrets Newsletter. Debra Kasowski International – Personal Mastery is the Key to Professional Mastery. Personal and Professional Success does not occur in silo. Become a better version of yourself today.