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EPISODE 205 – Listen to Learn

June 11, 2019 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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#listen#communication#intention Go to www.debrakasowski.com for your FREE e-book 21 Habits High-Achievers Kick download when you sign up for our Success Secrets Newsletter. In this video, Debra Kasowski discusses the difference between hearing and listening and how you can become a better listener on The Millionaire Woman Show.

Filed Under: Podcasts Tagged With: communication

EPISODE 201 – The Power of Words

May 14, 2019 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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words #communication #influence Go to www.debrakasowski.com for your FREE e-book 21 Habits High-Achievers Kick download when you sign up for our Success Secrets Newsletter. In this video, Debra Kasowski discusses how you can empower or disempower yourself with the power of the words you use on The Millionaire Woman Show.

Hello, Welcome to The Millionaire Woman Show. We’re, we’ll be discussing leadership, business, and human potential, inspiring you to live rich from the inside out. Unlock your creativity, stretch out of your comfort zone, break through your barriers, take inspired action and achieve epic results. Now here’s your host, two-time best-selling author, speaker, and certified executive coach Debra Kasowski.

Hello Everyone and welcome to another Millionaire Woman Show podcast. I’m super excited that you’ve come here to join us and today we are talking about the power of words. Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I wish I never said that?” Words carry so much power. We’ve all been there in that place where we’ve, after we thought about where we said, we thought, you know what, we could have said it so much differently. I know for myself, there’s many times that I wish I could take things back. But you, once you put that decree out, you can’t. But you can shift your language, shift the way you’re thinking to get where you want to be, how you want to show up and really change moving forward because we can’t change what’s behind us. So today, the power of words. I want to help you focus in on the conversations that you have, the thoughts that you have in your head so you can be empowered with the power of language.

So the power of words. Joyce Meyer said, “Words are containers of POWER. You can choose what kind of POWER they have.” So words can be good used for good, and they can also be used for evil. So in the context that I want to share with you today, the power of words, I want you to start thinking about the words that you use. So one of the things is I want to start with dawn. Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements. The first one is about Being Impeccable with Your Word and that’s an agreement that you make with yourself and with others. But when I first heard be impeccable with your word over the years, I always thought it was about how we talk about others that we want to spread. Good gossip, not bad gossip. We want to empower and lift people up. But it’s easy to have that water cooler conversation and get involved in another person’s conversation.

Making judgements and assumptions, conclusions about people that may or may be true. So one of the things I encourage people to think about is this agreement, the agreement about being impeccable with your word. It’s not only speaking kindly to others or about others. It also has to do with the six inches here, right between our ears about what we’re saying to ourselves as well. We need to be impeccable with ourselves first and really capturing those words that we’re saying and changing them to positivity. And one of the examples would be, well, I’ll never achieve that. I’ll, I won’t do this. I’m not good at this. I’m not good at this. And there’s this phrase, the power of yet you may not be as good as you’re hoping to in this moment, but it doesn’t mean that you don’t have the capacity or the capability to become the person you envision yourself to be.

That “Yet” three letter word is so powerful in knowing that I may not be. If you catch yourself saying, I may not be good put in that yet because there is room for growth, there is room for improvement and it’s not setting anything in stone. It means I’m a work in progress, which we all are. So I want you to think about the words you use and first of all, starting to be impeccable with your word, not only to others or about others. That is also that you’re going to be speaking kindly of yourself, giving yourself some grace and also catching it and reframing it into something positive so that you are speaking kindness to yourself. Because chances are some of the thoughts that any comments that you say to yourself about yourself are not something you would say to the person closest to you next to you if you’re in a room of people or your best friend.

So if you wouldn’t say those things to another person, how would you say though about yourself? So let’s start with being impeccable with our word for ourselves as well as others and making sure the only gossip used is great stuff, good gossip, and sharing who you are by the power of your word. How do you speak to yourself? How do you speak to others? Those are the two questions that you want to bring up for yourself. Then I also want to talk to you about the type of words you use. There are words that empower you and then there’s words that disempower you. And when I say these words, you’re going to start feeling and understanding what we call the energy around the word. If you were like, oh, you know, what do you mean by energy? Well, when you say certain words, they either uplift you or they don’t, or they feel like you need to get defensive or you feel like someone’s attacking you.

So let’s talk about the power of our words. So the word try, and this is when you jump into the Star Wars theme and think about Yoda. Yoda said in the movies, “Do or do not. There is no try.” So look at something in your desk or if you’re in your car and you might have a pen somewhere, I want you to try to pick something up. Try it. What happens? Either you do it or you don’t do it. There is no try this award. I don’t even know how it ended up in the dictionary and to be honest with you, so really thinking about that word. You’re either going to do something or you don’t, but think about the energy around the word try. If I tell you I’m going to try to do something, do you believe in what I’m saying? Do I speak it with conviction?When I say I’m going to try to hit a slam dunk, you might think, ah, put some effort in, but we want to put a strong statement to say, I’ll either do it, I’ll get that slum dunk or I won’t get it, but I’m going to go and do it. The results will be the outcome. You can make it many attempts, but you’re not going to try. Try comes off as half effort. Then there’s the word when, when is that? Someday that’s not on your calendar. This is when I bring this up. Often talking to people about their to do list. That can be as long as Santa’s Christmas list of all the things that they need to do. But when they look at act, when they look at their calendar, what happens is there is none of the to do list in the calendar to get done.

So somebody will say, Hey, are you free? And you’ll look at your calendar. See, absolutely. There’s nothing on the calendar. Then they go do whatever event that they’re going to. They come home, they look at the list and they say, oh, look at all the things I need to do. This is where we fall off the radar. We need to start putting the to do list into the calendar so that when is today is right now. When’s the right time to take action now? So start by looking at your to do list blocking off time to get those things done. The other phrase is always and never. Those are the extremes always. And never is that true that things are always a certain way or never a certain way. They can be often or increased frequency for sure. But is it truly never an always so be cautious when you use those words.

They are extreme. The other one is the word can’t eliminates all possibility, but it is a choice. Can’t means I choose not to. It’s not always about capability or capacity. It’s whether or not you’re willing to do it. So it’s a choice of going ahead and moving forward. So think about the times where you say, I can’t do this or you just choosing not to do it because it’s not a priority for you. When you say I can’t get up at 5:30am is it that you can’t or you’re not willing to, I can’t spend time, painting because it’s my hobby. Are you choosing not to or where’s the priority? So I want you to start thinking about when you use the word cat mean other phrases or an ad. And you probably saw just a few seconds ago, I shifted my language because when we say, but what it does is it negates everything that comes after that sentence.

So if I say, you know what, that was a great meal. Thank you so much, but maybe there was too much salt. So here is the thing. Anything I said after that made the first part have no meaning. It’s like, Oh yeah, you said it was good BUT. There is an issue. So I want you to think about when you say, but instead you can say at the meal was great and it was a bit salty, but then you’re not negating anything. You’re not feeling like you stole the joy from the first part of the sentence. So when you’re using your words, realize that how much power comes behind our words. And the other thing is, is paying attention to how you speak. Speak with conviction, speak with confidence. Believe in the words that you say. Actions often speak louder than words, but when words are added in again, they can be used for good and they can be used for evil.

So please choose them wisely. As Joyce Meyer said, they are containers of power. What are you going to put in that container? The other thing is whatever follows, “I AM”, this goes back to speaking impeccably, be about yourself. If you say, I am not good enough, I am not smart enough, I am not. Whatever follows I am becomes your truth, becomes your perception of your reality and I want you to empower yourself that says, I’m getting stronger every day. I’m in progress of you know, running 10 k I am in process of becoming a world class leader. I want you to pay attention to the words that follow I am I am is a decree putting that stake in the ground saying this is who I admire. Who are you? I want you to say I am and then whatever follows you shall become. So again, you want to be choosing words that are empowering really something that you’re owning as part of who you are.

And the big thing is think before you speak. And like I said earlier, often when we say things, it could be in the heat of the moment, which we often regret. We can’t take back, but we can change who we are and how we speak moving forward. And when you’re speaking about yourself to others, when you’re moving forward, you want to use language that is building capacity. So you want to speak as if things are already happening. When you’re working towards your goals, you want to speak it into existence. You know, often people will say to me, you know, Deb, I thought I can do this, but I’m not so sure. When you start carrying those doubts, you’re going to start little pieces of sabotage. So you want to have this anticipation and expectancy of success and speaking as if it has already happened, but it is going to be true for you.

So it’s like I can’t wait to take the stage and have thousands of people in front of me. I want you to think about what it is for you. I can’t wait to build this house or take over this commercial property. I can envision it. I can see people running their businesses in each of the different locations that really thinking about and envisioning and speaking the words that make that a reality. There is so much power in the words. If you have words of dealt that are influencing you, they’re going to change how you think about things. You’re going to shift your perspective a little off course and you’re not going to feel so great cause it’s going to be like, aw, that dealt. It’s just sitting there saying, you know what? I don’t know if you can do this and then your actions will match it. Whatever you believe is what you’re going to see. So we need to start putting those actions and words together, making them congruent, making them in alignment that you believe with an expectancy. You’re going to speak into existence. What you envision have that belief strong enough not only in your actions but in your ability to get what you want. So really paying attention to the power of your words. They can disempower you or they can empower you to achieve great things. Words are a container. What are you going to put in your container today?

Thank you for coming to our podcast. I’m so grateful that you’re here. Please go over to my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you can download your free eBook of the 21 Habits High Achievers kick to Achieve Success, and I’d love for you to go over to iTunes, give us a five star high five write us a review. The more people who are writing reviews, the more people who will get to know about our podcast. It is so important and I would love for you to just go ahead and share this podcast with as many people as you can, who you feel inspired to share with, to help them realize there’s so much power in their words. You can use this with your relationships, your business transactions, your leadership, and also in parenting. Speak into existence what you expect, what you want to see, speak and with the belief in the people who are in front of you. Amazing things will happen for you when you speak with conviction, with purpose, and be fair to do good with your words. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world”, and my wish for you is always is go out and make today. Great.

Filed Under: Podcasts Tagged With: communication, empowering words, language, power of words

3 Ways to Visionary Leaders Can Engage Their Teams in Their Vision

February 9, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Visionary leaders are creatives by nature. You’ll notice that if you are a visionary leader that your mind goes off with ideas like fireworks at the county fair. You can see the vision in your mind, you can feel the excitement of the vision coming together in your body, and you believe it is possible to make your vision a reality. However, not all visionary leaders can get their teams to buy-in to your vision. Have you ever had a leader that had trouble explaining their vision? They can tell you what the final outcome can be but they can’t always explain how to get the destination. Visionary leaders need to engage their teams to fulfill the vision.

Write Out Your Compelling Vision. Get it out of your head and onto paper. You have tons of ideas battling for your attention and focus at any one time. Ideas can be grand but also fleeting so it is important to capture those ideas onto paper as soon as possible. Inking the vision onto paper helps you think about the vision and not miss a detail. Writing out your vision and goals helps you clarify your ideas.

Communicate Your Vision to Your Team. Be descriptive as possible. Remember you can see the vision clearly in your mind. People are not mind readers. Your team all learn in different ways. Some people need to see the vision. Using diagram, images, or models can help describe the vision. Others are auditory so explaining your vision in vivid detail with help them create the picture in their mind. Sensory learners learn by touch and kinesthetic learn by action to reinforce the learning. Most people have a combination of all four. Clearly communicating your vision reveals a roadmap as to where you are heading. It can act as a filter to ensure your team is “paddling” in the same direction versus chasing ideas that are not in aligned with your vision.

“Vision is the art of what is invisible to others.” Jonathan Swift

Engage Your Team by Asking Open-Ended Questions. Discover who the planners and implementers are on your team. These individuals are the ones who can see the vision and know how to make the vision a reality. What do they think about the vision? What would it take to make this vision a reality? What opportunities exist that can be leveraged? Your team members want to be engaged in meaningful and engaging work. What does making this vision a reality do for others? Allow them to be part of your vision and they will be your champions. Ensure that you check in at milestones to celebrate with them and see your vision unfold.

We need visionaries to inspire creative ideas and solutions. Visionaries can struggle from time to time in making the vision become a reality because the can see it in their minds but they have trouble articulating it to others. By writing out the vision, communicating the vision, and engaging your team in the vision, you will gain clarity, new ideas, and buy-in from your team. If any member of your team is paddling in a different direction, you will face resistance and may even head in a different direction should any other team members join them.

Share your compelling vision regularly. Ask questions regularly. Engage the right team members. Ensure they are paddling in the same direction. Lead them to your vision.

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: business, CEO, communication, leadership, team, teamwork, vision, visionary leaders

Episode 111 – Setting Boundaries

July 6, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.”
― Henry Cloud

Boundaries are set to create clear separations between yourself and others. They are created so you can honour your needs and self respect. When you set boundaries, you are telling others what you want and what to expect. The best way to set boundaries is to do some self-reflection. Pay attention to how you feel. Do you feel stress? Resentful? Angry? Frustrated? Taken Advantage of? You need to give yourself the permission to take care of you first.

Pay attention to your own thoughts before you take notice of others. Your first step in setting boundaries may mean that you need to shut down your own negative thinking. Are you taking things personally? Do you believe that your circumstance is permanent? If so, you are stuck in a rut. You will not find a way out until you shift your thinking and realize that a persona’s response comes from their own experiences and perception. You need to discover what that is and challenge any assumptions you may be having and get some clarification. There may be a misunderstanding. Life is fluid. Good and bad circumstances are temporary. The way you choose to respond and the choices you make will determine how long you stay in that state. Choose to do nothing and the longer you will be there. Choose to take action and you will have progress.

Identify what drains you. If you are not sure whether you need to set some boundaries, consider the people and places that drain you. The places may be noisy, dirty, or cluttered. The people may be miserable, gossipers, or complainers. They complain about their spouses or partners or they speak poorly about others identifying every flaw they can find. They complain about their boss. You may have increased demands placed on you because you are the expert in a certain area. These people may even be family members that call you to see if you can run errands, after all, if you work at home you must not be doing anything. At some point, you need to stop the madness!

Know you core values. Not only do you make better decisions when you know your core values, you can set boundaries more effectively because you know what you stand for. You know what you are willing to tolerate and what you are not willing to tolerate. Use your core values as your guideposts. If someone violates one of your core values, they need to know that there is a consequence. For example, if someone cheats or steals, they may be fired from a job or have criminal charges placed on them. Your values drive your results.

Remember you cannot change others, you can only change yourself. In Dr. Henry Cloud’s book, Boundaries for Leaders, he talks about how leaders get what they allow. You can choose to respond or reactive to any given circumstance. The one thing you can do to change the way you act toward them is to provide direct honest heart to heart communication. I know some organizations do like to talk about matters of the heart, however, being heart centred is about allowing people to express themselves and have a voice.

Here’s what you can do. If you do not like how someone is treating you, you can use the communication method often taught in emotional intelligence.

When you…

I feel…

What I want…

You start to focus on facts, express how you are feeling, and set expectations for the future. People will start changing their behavior and outcomes when they understand how it impacts others. I have used this method on many occasions and it saves many relationships. People often avoid sharing how it impacts them and what their needs are because they fear how the other person will react. I want to remind you what you think and feel is important. If you do not express yourself, you may become resentful because you feel taken advantage of. Communicate what you want and need. Others will respect you for setting limitations and feel that they have the permission to do the same.

Decide what the consequences are if someone crosses the line. If someone says that they are going to deliver on something and they don’t, there needs to be some consequence. A person’s actions should be stronger than their word to demonstrate how committed they are to your wants and needs. Consequences do not have to be negative. A positive consequence can be holding someone accountable for their actions and demonstrating that you believe in their capacity to change and become a leader. The consequence of not achieving a goal can be a positive consequence that also motivates a person to put in the work required to get there.

“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Setting boundaries takes courage and practice. It gets easier over time. When people set boundaries, it creates a safe environment in which people feel comfortable to share and express themselves. By clearing communicating and setting boundaries, you will be able to be present and calm in the moment. Your quality of life also improves. You sleep better and face fewer distractions and you can separate events or circumstances from overflowing into what you are doing.

It is not “if” someone will cross your boundaries, it will be, “When?” How will you decide handle it?

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Filed Under: Podcasts Tagged With: communication, courage, emotional intelligence, emotional triggers, healthy boundaries, healthy relationships, Self awareness, setting boundaries

Episode 96 – Consciously Connecting with Holland Haiis

May 16, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

https://media.blubrry.com/themillionairewomanshow/content.blubrry.com/themillionairewomanshow/Episode_96_-_Consciously_Connecting_with_Holland_Haiis.mp3

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Meet Our Guest:

Holland Haiis has been dubbed the Digital Detox Expert. She is often called upon by CNN International, CBS, NBC, FOX News, Sirius Radio and many others to discuss how to increase connection within ourselves while finding a technological balance.

Holland is a speaker, corporate team builder and the author of the well received book; Consciously Connecting: A Simple Process to Reconnect in a Disconnected World.

Holland’s mission is to help the world understand how our brain’s and our live’s are changing due to using too much technology and how we can find that perfect balance. By consciously connecting we find the power to our goals, boundaries, creativity and so much more! Holland works with individuals, families and corporations on their path to honoring relationships and understanding how to live and work more human.

In 2016 Hay House voted Holland one of 100 Global Thought Leaders and she spoke at their World Summit. She is also a contributing editor for HuffPost.

For more information on Holland and her services visit her website at www.hollandhaiis.com

Filed Under: Podcasts Tagged With: business networking, communication, Consciously connecting, conversation, creating connections, digital detox, digital detox expert, healthy relationships, healthy relationships in the workplace, listening, setting boundaries with technology

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