asking questions Archives - Debra Kasowski

EPISODE 253 – ASK! The Bridge from Your Dreams to Your Destiny

May 25, 2020 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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#ask #markvictorhansen #crystaldwyerhansen

Debra Kasowski is the charismatic podcast host of The Millionaire Woman Show, 3X Best Selling Author, Speaker, and Certified Executive Coach. She interviews incredible speakers, authors, CEO, Business and Organizational Leaders and drops solo episodes with tips, strategies, and techniques for your success.

In this video, Debra Kasowski speakes with Mark Victor Hansen and Crystal Dwyer Hansen about the importance of asking as the bridge to your destiny and fullfillment on The Millionaire Woman Show.

Go to www.debrakasowski.com for your FREE 3-Part Video Mini Course Making Habits Stick download when you sign up for our Success Secrets Newsletter. Book your Complimentary Discovery Session with Debra today!

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Connect with Mark Victor Hansen and Crystal Dwyer Hansen

https://www.instagram.com/markvictorhansen
https://www.twitter.com/markvictorhansen
https://www.instagram.com/crystaldwyerhansen

Websites:
www.markvictorhansen.com
www.crystalvisionlife.com

EPISODE 153 – Reverse Engineer Your Success

March 13, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGiGST8sHCk[/embedyt]

Vision is the picture you have in your mind of what you want to achieve. I learned early on in my quest of achievement to reverse engineer my plans to get the success I wanted. The exercise of working from your vision to where you are now will help you create the roadmap you need to get to where you want to go from where you are right now. Most people will share the vision of what they want to achieve but very few will write out a description in detail through reverse engineering the plan. The steps to success are simple. We tend to complicate things, thinking what we are ding needs many more steps or extras.

Reflect and Project

Hindsight is 20/20. You are in the Present. The future is all you can see. You have been successful in other areas of your life, business, or career path. You have a system in which you do things naturally. Take time to reflect on your past successes. What did you do to achieve what you achieved? What is the most common factor in your successes? Now, look at where you want to go now. Who do you need to show up as? Who do you need to be? What do you need to have? What do you need to do to be it or achieve it? You need to gain clarity and understand where you are going before you can reverse engineer a plan.

Act and Fail Often

Learning experiences are many when you take action. You have made mistakes or failed. These are learning experiences. Do not beat yourself up. Do not dwell on it. What was the lesson? What do you need to change or continue doing? What do you need to stop? Our best learning opportunities are the ones where we have risked being rejected, feeling ashamed or embarrassed, or have failed. If you had never taken the step, you would never have known what you are capable of. Guess what? You are still here! You need to go at it again in a new way! Remember to reflect, adjust, act, and repeat!

Find a Role Model

Success leaves clues. Who has done what you want to do? Find a mentor or hire a coach to help you identify the steps you need to get to where you want to go. Learn from others to see what actions you need to be taking to get to where you want to go. Ask what they did to achieve success. You may not be as far off from success as you think. You do not have to have all the resources in the world to be successful. You need to learn what resources you have available and leverage or activate them when needed.

Map It Out

Grab your post it notes, flip chart paper, and markers and create a visual of what you want to achieve. Mind map what will be required and where you can get it. You may need to ask someone for ideas. By getting it out of your head onto paper, you can establish the emotional connection to what you want to achieve.

Uncover Your WHY

As you reverse engineer or forward-backward plan, determine why the end goal important to you? Establishing the emotional connection – your “WHY” is important in getting you to move forward when you are faced with challenges. Many people get caught up in the how versus focusing on the why and they lose their emotional connection to the vision they wanted.

Reverse engineer your success and use the drive for your WHY to help you get to your destination. Keep the roadmap simple.

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get my just release FREE e-book about the 21 Habits High Achievers Kick to Achieve Success. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com

EPISODE 113 – Just Ask for What You Want

July 13, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQErunbq_cE[/embedyt]

“Always ask yourself: “What will happen if I say nothing?”
― Kamand Kojouri

There are many times I have wanted to ask for something and I had held myself back. Why you ask? The reasons ranged from thinking that someone was too busy or that they would not be interested, they might laugh at me, think I was asking for too much, or thinking I had to have been long term friendship or relationship to make an ask. I learned that if I was curious and simply asked and took a genuine interest in someone they would be more than happy to help me. Sometimes the ask leads to the building of a relationship.

One of my greatest lessons of asking backfired when I asked a presenter at a real estate seminar if I could “pick his brain”. I do not recommend using this technique. Here’s what happened. He told me to hold my thought until after the break then he brought me up in front of 200 people and asked me what I did wrong. I was embarrassed and he used me as a lesson for many – I learned very quickly never to use the phrases “Can I pick your brain?” again. My ASK was – “How can I become a motivation speaker?” I was inspired watching him capture the attention of everyone in the room. They listened on the edge of their seats…I wanted to be able to deliver great value and do the same. What did I do wrong according to him? I was asking for something for nothing. He explained that I could learn through volunteer opportunities. He then asked the audience if there was anyone who knew anything about become a speaker and the path that it entailed as he did not see himself as a motivational speaker. Several people raised their hands. He told them to connect with me at the end of the session and proceeded with his talk.
It is not my approach to teaching someone a lesson but it was effective. I learned many of the steps I needed to learn and now today I speak on stages sharing my message – of empowerment for women, leadership, business, emotional intelligence, and personal development.

Another “ASK” I asked was rejected. I was in middle of planning a surprise Disney vacation and asked my boss at the time for some time off – she refused. I was disappointed and frustrated. Later that week, I went to a one-day training with my mentor, Jack Canfield. He asked us to do an exercise with a partner discussing something we were recently frustrated about the outcome. Of course, my trip was it. We were to think about how we could ask, what we needed to consider when asking, and the timing of the ask. Determined I was going on this trip, I dressed up very professionally and went in on my day off and asked again with conviction explaining how important the trip was to my family and what I was willing to do to make it happen. I still remember her sitting back in her chair saying, “What a negotiator!” Imagine if I never asked again. The answer is always no unless you ask and sometimes you need to do it again and again.

They have been other times I have talked myself out of asking saying, “What’s the point?” The point is it is important to you. Do you feel you deserve it? Do you feel you make others feel bad because you are getting what you want? Do you assume you already know the answer before asking? You could be wrong – I was!

Shortly after the manuscript was submitted for my co-authored book, GPS Your Best Life, I wanted to submit a proposal outline for my own book. I had drafted a concept – it was rudimentary. I himmed and hawed about pressing the send button to make the ask. I kept telling myself I needed a deeper relationship or at least have gone out for dinner with the publisher before I could have a book published – even though I was already getting a booked published with her. Finally, I hot the send button at two-thirty in the morning and by nine in the morning I had received an email to flush the idea out with the editor and I would have a contract. I was so excited – then the work began. You never know until you make the ask! We do not ask enough – at least not as much as we should be to get what we want. What is it going to hurt by just making the ask?
Worried about feeling foolish? Have you ever felt foolish before? Chances are you have and you are still here. The world did not end. Pay attention to how your asking, when your asking – is it the right time, know what you are asking for, and who you should be asking that will make the decision. Make sure you are in front of the decision maker! Another lesson of mine learned – another story for another day.
If you get flustered about asking, write down a basic script of what you want to say. You may not read from it word for word but you can have it at your side to ensure you do not miss important points. Looking at the points can jog your memory of the important points you wanted to stress or share.
Throw in a smile when you make your ASK. Ensure it is genuine, otherwise, the first impression may be – “Run, they want something from us!” A positive attitude and an genuine interest in others is a great way to build rapport and trust so people with want t connect or do business with you.
What ASK do you want to make? What are you waiting for? Go ahead and make the ASK! If you do not, someone else will!

“What if you find out at the end of life that you could have had all you ever wanted had you only asked for it??”
― Kate McGahan

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Episode 89 – Coaching for Performance

April 20, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Coaching is like a magic mirror, reflecting what you are thinking, feeling and saying about everything in life. By working together, you’ll understand your own mirror and change it to become limitless.”
― Sultan Alsasi

No one becomes a high performer without confidence or support from someone who believed in them more than they believed in themselves. Who is someone you have admired or been inspired by? How have they helped you become a better performer? Coaching is one of the best strategies for achieving objectives or goals. Research shows that companies who utilized coaches had an increase in productivity and profitability, reduced complaints, improved customer services, and retained talent. Individuals who received coaching described improved work relationships, improved teamwork, greater commitment and engagement, and less conflict due to better communication. Coachees (people who are coached), stretch out of their comfort zone to achieve great results than if they had not been coached.

When people hear the word “coaching”, they tend to associate coaching with teaching or training that is sport related. There are many types of coaches. There are life coaches, business coaches, speech/vocal coaches, executive coaches, and coaches in the workplace. Not all coaching is formal. It can be done individually or with a group or team. Each coach is hired to develop a person’s skillset and ability based on what the person seeking coaching needs. The coach does not hold the agenda – the coachee does. Coaches can also help deal with conflict, difficult people and conversations, issues, and challenges.

A coaching session can be done face to face, over the phone, or online through platforms like Skype or Zoom. A coach does not have to be in your industry to know how to support you. They need to know how to ask you the right questions. A coaching session is a conversation where a coach like myself will ask you questions to hep you discover and do some reflection to come up with answers or solutions. Why? When the coachee comes up with the answers, solutions, or action plans they will be more intrinsically motivated than if the coach provides the answers, solutions, or action plans. The difference between a sports coach and this type of coach is that a sports coach is often “telling” or providing direction to a player. Whereas, the coach we are discussing in this podcast is asking questions, active listening, and acknowledge discoveries.

Any person can hire a coach if they want someone to help them work through issues/challenges, climb the corporate ladder, build a business, or accelerate the achievement of a goal. Coaches help boost productivity, performance, and effectiveness – ultimately results. To achieve the desired results, you want when working with a coach, you need to be accountable for your actions and committed to what you want to accomplish. Not only is a financial commitment with coaching, there is a commitment of your time and energy to actively participate in the coaching conversation and to follow through on actionable items.

In order to coach for performance, there must be a foundation of trust and that what is shared is confidential, otherwise, the coachee will not be open to sharing any information or discuss their thoughts or feelings. With coaching, the premise is that you already having everything inside of you to come up with the answer or solution you are seeking. The coach asks the right questions to help you develop your own conclusions. A coach may offer suggestions or advise you acting as a thinking partner or sounding board.

Coaching can help improve your performance and is not limited to this list:

Getting unstuck and challenge self-limiting beliefs
Working through a challenge, issue, or stretch goal
Accelerating results
Developing clarity around a situation, choices, and desired outcomes
Learning to create harmony or balance between work and life demands
Determining core strengths and areas of growth
Identifying resources, skills, and knowledge to obtain a goal
Brainstorm options

The world is changing rapidly. Individuals, like you, are wanting to take more control of getting the results they desire in their lives by creating a plan of action. Sometimes all it takes is to develop clarity around what a person wants to achieve and what outcome will give them.

“Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen.” – Pete Carroll

Coaching maximizes a person’s potential to become a high performer. Some people hire coaches as a corrective measure in the workplace. Coaching is most effective when it is used to develop yours or your staff member’s capabilities, sometimes you can be so close to a situation that you cannot see your options. A coach is a trusted guide helping you discover your own answers to make the decision that is best for you.

What is a stretch goal you would like to achieve? What self-limiting belief is holding you back from acting on and following through on what you know you need to do? Have you considered working with a coach?

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

EPISODE 30: A Change of Plans

September 27, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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EPISODE 30: A Change of Plans

Life doesn’t always go as perfectly as we planned. There are times when our best intentions are met with disaster or misunderstandings. When life changes your plan, what do you do? As many of you know I have been writing my third book called Let’s Be Curious: How to Ask the Right Questions, Get Better Answers, and Make the Best Decisions™ which was due to come out November 2016. There has been a change of plans – the book will now be released September 2017. What happened? A change of plans…

What Happened?

Six months ago, I committed to writing this book. During this time frame, I have worked on the book that I put aside all workshops and limited networking activities. The book was in pre-launch and I was so proud that I had 13 people pre-buy the book. In discussions with my business coach – Colin Sprake, it was suggested that I postpone the launch of my new book to September 2017.

10486806 - an unsuspecting woman shrugs. shrug of helplessness and

My first reaction was “You want me to do what?” My business coach suggested that I spend the next 12 months building my following through networking, host my workshops, speaking and developing my podcast. Questions flooded my mind, “What about the 13 people who already purchased the book? What will they say or think? What does this say about who I am?” He recommended that I call each one and tell them that I have had a discussion with my business coach and that I would either offer them a refund or they could be one of the first to receive the book next year along with an added bonus for their patience. I have to tell you – I felt resistance.

I questioned where this resistance was coming from and I knew I need to gain a deep awareness. It has been my experience that asking questions is the best way to do this. What and why was I resisting? I’m one of those people that I feel that I can adapt and be quite flexible when faced with change. It wasn’t so much the change in plans of making the book come out a year later. It was calling those individuals and letting them know that there was a change. Normally, I would not think to share a change of plans as to be such a big deal. What I do know is I like to stick to promises that I make and I deliver on my word. I knew this resistance was because I was concerned about aligning with my values – one of integrity.

Words of Wisdom

My business coach reminded me that I wasn’t acting out of integrity. I was doing the right thing at the right time not only for me but also for the people receiving the book. You see during the six months I had been saying “no” to more things instead of “yes” to things that were important to me. I was still involved in my kids’ activities that there were times when I wanted to do things and said “no” as I needed to focus on writing. So for one thing – this change plan actually allows me to build a richer book with more thought-provoking content where I can share some of those growing edges. I reminded myself that my publisher had once said to me, “Debra a book is ready on its own time. You can’t force it.” I’ve carried that saying with me to remind me that the time will be right. Even though I was nervous about calling each of the 13 people, especially since one person had just bought the book the night before, I knew it was the right thing. Whether I contacted them by e-mail or by phone, every single person wanted to stay on the list and they wanted to be one of the first to receive the book September 2017. They were so gracious and very excited to be a part of this journey. They were understanding and kind. What I realized is that I was being very hard on myself and I shared my concern regarding it integrity with one of my followers and she said, “We know your reputation for delivering on your word. There are no concerns. We just want the great content.” This was most comforting to me. I am grateful.

31160090 - closeup portrait, young middle aged woman, showing small amount gesture with hands, isolated yellow background. human emotion facial expression feeling, body language, sign, symbol, reaction, perception

We all come to places of transition. I know plans change all the time and I also know that I have a tendency to love to be in control of all of that and sometimes it’s not the best thing. It made sense to adjust the course and in the big picture of things, this is one small adjustment that could be the biggest difference in my business but also for the people were waiting to read this book. I am very excited about this book because the more I share the concept with people and my enthusiasm; the more they are excited about receiving a copy.

There are two quotes that caught my attention that I needed to share with you:

“Don’t let your plans or goals become more important than yourself, or the ones you care about!” Jose N Harris.

“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” ~ Confucius

The one thing I noticed the most, the day after calling every single person reaching out to them in some way that I had contact information for, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was calmer and more connected with those around me as I wasn’t continuously thinking, “When I might can a squeeze in the time to write today?” When plans change all we’re doing is adjusting the course, I am the one who is adjusting the course and doing what works best for me instead of allowing outside circumstances to do it for me.

I want to share this with you in this podcast because everyone faces a change of plans or is in the place of transition that they didn’t think that they be in. Each one of us faces uncertainty and inner resistance. It is important to ask ourselves questions to understand where this fear is coming from and why are you we resisting? What we resist persists! If you continue to align with your values when you make a decision, you will always be at peace. Sometimes we’re so close to a situation, it takes a business coach friend or mentor to shift our perspective to see clearly again. I am so excited for the upcoming months in finishing off this book to deliver some my best work and reward those were patiently waiting. In the meantime, be curious about the world. Ask tons of questions! It is okay to have a change of plans especially it gets you closer to where you want to be.

Time 9:46 min

Keywords: Colin Sprake, business coach, mentorship, change management, change of plans, self-awareness, dealing with inner resistance, fear of uncertainty, facing uncertainty, curiosity, asking questions, build your tribe, build your following, book launch, adjust the plan, sense and adjust, quotes about plans, quotes, leadership. Personal mastery