Debra Kasowski

5 Reasons You Struggle to Achieve Your Goals

by Leave a Comment

Sitting at the table you drop your pen, crumple up a piece of paper, and toss it for a 3-point shot into the wastepaper basket. You were attempting to write down a goal that you would like to achieve in the next 6 months. Your inner critic piped up saying, “You have attempted this goal before. What makes you think you can achieve it this time?”

It’s true. You may have attempted the goal 2-3 times and not succeeded. It doesn’t mean you should give up.

Photo Credit melpomen

Achieving your goals can be overwhelming when you have competing demands that require your attention. You may feel you are in a mental tug-of-war with other goals that are equally as important to you. Having a split focus does not help you achieve either one or you may abandon them altogether.

It is time to dig deeper into the “why” of your struggle.

You are casting your net too wide. Your goals are too broad and there is no way to measure them. You may even have several goals tangled up in one. You need to tease them out to pick one specific goal – choose the one goal that if you achieve it will help achieve some of the smaller goals. Use the S.M.A.R.T. goal method where goals are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely.

You lack the willpower to make necessary changes. The goals you set are things you have not yet achieved or conquered. To achieve your goals, you will have to potentially do things that you have never done before. You will have to make a change to your regular routine or discipline yourself. Change makes people uncomfortable. Change is growth; it is progress. You will have to ask yourself the ultimate question – Am I willing to make the changes necessary to achieve my goals?

You are not setting the “REAL” goal. You may not be setting goals that stretch you and promote the growth of your knowledge, skills, or experiences. You are playing it safe. Fear has crept in and you have decided to play small. Set a goal that is meaningful to you and that you are emotionally connected to. This goal will help you stay motivated and drive you toward achieving it when challenges or obstacles arise. You may have heard of this type of goal being called the “BHAG – Big Hairy Audacious Goal”. Go for it!

You lack belief in yourself. You cannot visualize seeing yourself achieve your goals. You find ways to self-sabotage your progress by missing deadlines, avoiding putting in the effort, or failing to contribute to a conversation. Sabotage usually surfaces when you do not believe you are “enough”, “worthy”, or “deserving”. Take time to understand where those beliefs came from – chances are they are a narrative from the past and that is not who you are today. Stop comparing yourself to your yesterday.

You do not ink the goals you think about. You have many thoughts in a day. 50, 000 – 70, 000 to be exact. These thoughts can be fleeting and unless you capture your goals on paper they can disappear into thin air. Inking out your goals makes your goals tangible and gives them substance in which you can build your plan of action and timelines.

Your goals do not have to be only things you long for. You can end the struggle by developing clarity of your most important goal. You can commit to the change or changes required to achieve your goal. You can go for the real goal that makes you anticipate life’s upcoming events. You can believe you are enough, worthy, and deserving of your desired outcomes. Why? Because your goals mean something to you and that is all that matters. You can start inking your goals and reviewing them a few times a day to keep them top of mind.

Wouldn’t it feel great to stand in a victory pose and say, “I did it!”

Great Leaders Walk Among Us

by Leave a Comment

Leaders show up in all different forms. They are influenced by people, places, and positions. Their education and experiences have taught them how to show up as a leader.

Several years ago, I had an opportunity to provide feedback to a senior leader. I noticed that they didn’t take an opportunity to walk amongst their people. One day, I said, “You would be seen as a great leader if you took time to walk amongst your people.” The senior leader listened and thanked me for the feedback.

In a morning meeting, about eight months later, the senior leader proclaimed, “I’m going to do something that I find very scary. I’m going to walk amongst my people.” I was taken back as I had made a judgment that all leaders should find it natural to walk amongst their people. I had seen other senior leaders walk through the workplace with ease. I recognized that it took courage for this leader to take this action.

At the end of the day, I messaged the senior leader to commend them for acting and to find out the outcome. The senior leader expressed that they were pleasantly surprised. They did not expect that the people around them would be interested in who they were. They asked questions and had great conversations. It got me thinking about how our beliefs about leadership and how we show up influences how we lead. I was very proud of this leader for taking action.

“Walking amongst your people” was a lesson I learned very early in my career, I remember a situation in which I was unwell and coughing sitting at my office desk when a senior leader had come up to me addressed me by name, and said, “Debra, I really think you need to go home and get some rest.” I was taken back as I didn’t even know that this leader knew who I was. It wasn’t until I interviewed for a middle management position when I mentioned to this leader that I was surprised by her addressing me by name. This leader explained to me the importance of walking amongst your people. They emphasized the importance of taking time to get to know each person by name and something about them whenever possible. I took this to heart and used this as the focus to guide my leadership and those leaders that I have helped develop.

You never know the impact that you make until you do.

One day I was coming into the office and the security guard pulled me aside and handed me a handwritten note inviting me to come to his wedding on the weekend. I was pleasantly surprised. To him, I took interest in who he was as a person. Every day I make an intention to address people by their name, develop connections, and take an interest in who they are. I believe that great leaders “walk their talk” and have alignment in words and actions. I am often reminded then another person’s actions are based on their beliefs, fears, and experiences. Not all leaders lead the same.

We build trust and loyalty when we connect with the people we lead, the leaders of tomorrow. Great leaders do not wait to connect until performance management is required. The “walk” opens the door to communication, builds trust and credibility, and demonstrates commitment.

What I do know for sure is when we support each other in our growth, we lead by example, and we develop great leaders. Do not doubt that with the simple act of walking amongst your fellow leaders you are not making an impact. Your presence alone speaks volumes and creates connection. There is nothing more satisfying than watching the leaders around you grow and step into their potential to make an impact

Have the courage to take the first step.

Debra Kasowski, the charismatic host of the thought-provoking podcast, The Millionaire Woman Show, is committed to enriching the leadership potential of her countless clients, essentially guiding them to go within to capitalize on their true personal power, so they can achieve the measurable success they desire in business, and in life.
After graduating with distinction, having earned a Bachelor of Science in Nursing, this award-winning, three-time bestselling author, 2x TEDx speaker, past contributor to Forbes Coaches Council, and Certified Executive Coach spent many years as a clinical manager excelling in leadership development, before founding Debra Kasowski International, world-class training and consulting venture focused on helping
aspiring business owners and solopreneurs develop the winning “success habits” that transform human potential into sustainable profits.
Clearly, if you’re motivated to move beyond the mediocre, and inspired to forge on to the forefront with a proven plan of action, there’s no doubt that the indomitable Debra Kasowski is your solution.

www.debrakasowski.com

Create Your Own Luck by Preparing for Opportunity

by Leave a Comment

As the world appears to be opening, it had me reflecting, “What’s possible NOW?”  In the book, The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life, Rosamund Stone Zander, and Benjamin Zander, start Chapter 1 by saying, “It’s All Invented…all of life comes to us in a narrative form; it’s a story we tell…so we might as well invent a story of framework of meaning that enhances our quality of life and the life of those around us.” The mind constructs – what would you like to construct?

Every story you tell is founded on a network of beliefs and assumptions. Let your stories create your LUCK!

During the past two years, I have observed some individuals hit stagnation, some reinvent themselves, and some work steadily to prepare for opportunity.

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

Seneca

People tend to think that luck has to do with being at the right place at the right time or knowing the right people. Although that may be true in some instances, it is not true in all. It is about being open and ready for opportunities so you can say “YES”. Opportunities are always there; you need to be prepared to see them.

There are many ways to prepare and increase your opportunities:

Pay attention to the questions and words you say to yourself. Ask yourself, “What am I telling myself or asking myself before I decide to act? Are the questions one of curiosity, encouragement, or confidence and conviction?

Is it perfect? Ready to launch? When you think of those questions what comes up for you? When people get caught up in perfection, it often leads to procrastination and several revisions followed by several reasons and perhaps excuses as to why you’re not ready to execute. It was not perfect. I did not have enough time to get it right and so on.

What will other people think? Will they like it or dislike it? This contemplation can often lead to self-consciousness and self-doubt. You can play with duality in your mind for a very long time before you move into execution. Taking action without worrying about what others think is the way to move forward. What matters most is what you think!

Maybe I did not put enough time in? Parkinson’s Law says work will expand to the time frame allotted. Time is not an accurate measure of how prepared you can be for an opportunity. Preparedness is about doing your due diligence gathering as much information as you need and honing your skills to be ready to deliver your best work. Procrastination, excuses, and fear of failure tend to come up when you think about putting enough time in.

The more prepared and ready you are, the more ready you are to jump into opportunities as they arise.

Stay Informed about Developments in Your Industry. Subscribe to magazines and read articles to understand trends. Consider writing your own articles or finding speaking opportunities to share your knowledge. Become an expert in your field.

Commit to continuous learning. Take time to read books and learn from podcasts to build your knowledge, develop your skills, and expand your capabilities. Don’t forget you’ll be able to hold interesting conversations and share knowledge that you have at networking events and meetings.

Focus On Delivering Value and Doing Your Best Work. You notice I said the best work I did not say perfect. In what ways can you support others in reaching their goals and becoming a better version of themselves?

Connect and Develop Relationships with Others in Your Field. You never know who someone knows. In our digital world, it is often less than six degrees of separation. Learn and discover how you can support others. Attend networking events and join associations to network with like-minded individuals. Do not be afraid to expand into areas where you may connect with others who do not share your point of view – seek to understand a different perspective and it will expand your own.

“Diligence is the mother of good luck.”

Benjamin Franklin

“Good luck is another name for tenacity of purpose.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Expanding your world of possibility will increase your luck. As you prepare for possibilities, you will increase your readiness. As you increase your readiness, you will be ready for opportunities. As opportunity presents, you will create your luck.

Objects May Appear Closer Than They Are

by Leave a Comment

“See, when you drive home today, you’ve got a big windshield on the front of your car. And you’ve got a little bitty rearview mirror. And the reason the windshield is so large and the rearview mirror is so small is because what’s happened in your past is not near as important as what’s in your future.”

Joel Osteen

The way we look at things impacts how we do things. The “objects may appear closer than they are” is noted on the passenger mirror. The mirror is convex and it presents a wider view so the driver does not miss the blind spots on the side of the vehicle. I wanted to bring attention to what may be a blind spot for you. A blind spot is something that is not in your view; it does not have your attention.

Are you viewing your life from a rearview mirror? Are you focused on past mistakes and regrets wishing things could have been different? There is nothing wrong with reflecting on your past memories that are positive. Most people tend to ruminate over the negative events that occurred. There is nothing you can do about the past. It is behind you. You may be wondering why you slip back into thinking about the things that were, am I right? You slip back into the past or old patterns because it was a place of comfort (even it was not comfortable). It may have been predictable or familiar to you. You may even wish you could go back and change something you did or said. What your brain is doing as you move into your future, is attempting to protect you from negative situations in the future.

The reason those painful memories come up is that you may not have given them closure. It can also have to do with the meaning you gave the event. Many people can look at the same scenario and gain a different perspective. Is there any way you may look at a situation differently?

What happened?

What were you feeling at the time?

In what ways, has this impact your life? Both at the time and now?

Can you shift or reframe your perspective to see the situation differently?

How can you empower yourself?

I understand some memories can be more painful than others. The first step is having the awareness of how ruminating over the past is impacting your life. If you find yourself constantly ruminating over past events, you may want to consider seeing a counselor help you move through and process that part of your journey. If you focus too much on your past you are sure to miss the future.

When you shift your viewpoint and look out the windshield in front of you, I hope you see a world of possibility and opportunities to be seized. There are new memories to be created. Take the lessons with you and do not let the past define your future. The windshield is much bigger than your rearview mirror for a reason. Expand your worldview.

Envision what can be. Focus your attention on what you want.

Speak into existence your desired future and you will begin to step into it.

What to Do When Things Get Messy?

by Leave a Comment

“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end”.

Robin sharma

Have you ever noticed when you attempt something new or you get a group of individuals together things get messy? Sometimes the starting point is disarray, other times it’s when people start integrating into the group where conflict and messiness occur. And, after you have been figuring things out through consistent action or working together focused on learning each other’s strengths – things seem to come together.

When I think of Robin Sharma’s quote, I think of when my children played hockey. The players come together in September – October, all with different skillsets. There are moments of frustration as they are waiting to receive a pass of the puck and the pass does not come or the pass comes and the play is whistled down. They seem out of sync. Over time, every year, through practices, games, and tournaments something magical happens. By February- March, we often see a cohesive team with the odd outlier. A team that can pull together, communicate with each, and celebrate the wins, and takes the losses together.

Another example I can share with you is baking in the kitchen. Do you remember mixing things up in the kitchen to bake a cake or some cookies? You get all these ingredients together and things can get messy. You need to make a mixture; pour it out or scoop it out into a pan. After baking it at the right temperature for the right amount of time, you get to see the cake or cookies evolve. Tasting is the best part.

Life can be messy as involves changes to the way we are used to doing things. There are so many things going on simultaneously that we are often not aware of. The best thing to do is to keep putting in the work and taking forward action. Learn as much can about the process and people. Explore your potential and expand your capacity. Give yourself time and grace in the process. Some things need to unfold at their own time. You can’t take the cookies out of the oven 5 minutes early and expect them to be complete and ready to eat. They may fall apart. You cannot put a new player on the team thinking your first game out that the team will immediately integrate and win.

Now, I am not saying it is not possible. Just know – when you get through the “messy”, amazing things can unfold.