Blog Archives - Page 20 of 82

How Does Your Inner Game Impact Your Leadership?

November 9, 2015 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Leaders come from all walks of life. Leaders are not born; they are developed. some people believe that leadership is assigned by title. I believe leadership is a choice and we all have it. It starts with believing you are a leader and living your life as an example – expecting the best from yourself. The most important ingredient in becoming a leader is that you have a following or a “tribe”.

A following starts with one person. Tribes are formed by having an individual or a group of people holding a common vision or belief in a message or movement that people want to be a part of. Think about who you admire or follow. What qualities do they possess? What is it about these leaders that draws you to them? Is it their outward appearance or the way they express themselves? Confidence is an inner game that influences a leader’s decisions and actions. A leader believes in themselves and their vision; this is demonstrated by their actions and the results they get.

Your inner game is about how you get the best out of yourself as a leader. Before you expect others to give the best of themselves, you must start with expecting more of yourself. When I speak about being a leader, I mean as a leader in your family, office, business, organization, and community. Leadership is not limited to the board room. Your leadership starts with understanding yourself and then understanding others. In essence, your leadership is influenced by your emotional intelligence.

How you think and act influences the outcomes you get. Even though it seems like no one is watching or paying attention, there are people who are watching you as a role model. They are waiting for you to share your vision and take action so they may learn from you and become a part of it. Most of all, they want to know how it impacts them. Will following you increase their happiness or make them more fulfilled? Will they be inspired to take action?

Your emotions impact your thoughts and your thoughts impact how you act. Those thoughts are determined by the stories you tell yourself about your experiences. The stories can be could or they can be bad – it all depends on your perception.

Telling stories is how we make sense of our experiences. If you are self-reflective you will try to understand what happened and why it may have occurred as you try to rationalize your outcomes. We all have stories from our school days, our first job, first boss, the presentation that went wrong, and the challenges of teamwork.

My first boss wanted to protect me from the choices she made in her life so I would not make the same choices. I thought I had my own parent for that but she thought she needed to share her story. I was no where near from being on the same path or choices she had made. Our decisions and thinking were not aligned. I can dwell on the story as to whether or not she was a good boss or bad boss or I can choose to look for the lesson and remind myself that I am accountable and responsible for my own actions. After all, a story is just that – a story that you tell yourself!

Remember it is your story and you have the ability to change the story. You have choices. A leader must know their strengths and limitations.

What are your strengths?
What are your limitations?
What do you believe yourself to be capable of?
What do you feel is missing from your leadership?

What got you to where you are will not get you to the next level. You need to get clear about what you want, identify the gaps, and step into who you need to be. Do you need to grow your knowledge, develop your skills, and fine tune you abilities? Depending on what you need, these days you can find many resources to support you through books and the internet that are available 24/7 through websites and apps like Udemy and Coursera.

Your inner game influences how you show up in the world. First of all – you need to see yourself as a leader. Focus on your daily habits and take intentional actions toward what you want to achieve. How are you going to hold yourself accountable? Are you going to keep a log, share it with your spouse, partner, or close friend? It is all the small acts that add up in the end. Who do you want to show up as? What do you want people to remember you for?As a coach, it is my role to help you understand the impact of your story and how it has played a part in shaping your thoughts and actions and where you are today.

Everything starts with a choice. What will your next one be?

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com

Do You Run When There is a Fire in the Kitchen?

November 2, 2015 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Every day we are faced with situations that can trigger our emotions and how you respond can make all the difference. You may be dealing with a difficult colleague or a sabotaging boss, or entitled teenager. You may see these conflicts as manipulative, undermining, or even as a personal attack. Your first instinct may be to express your anger and frustration; however, often the first thing said can be your greatest regret. For some people, when there is a “fire” or conflict, it is easier to just run out of the kitchen and not deal with the issue or concern at hand.

What happens when you run out?

The fire can get out of control. When I am talking about fire, I am not talking about a physical building where your life is in danger. If your life is in danger – RUN and get help! In conflict, your mind perceives conflict as stress and so your body may move into the “fight or flight” response depending on how you react to the situation versus respond. I am not asking you to suppress your emotions but I do want you to stop and take a deep breath. When you are emotional, you do not think rationally. Your imagination can run wild making assumptions about what the intended tone in an email was, comments or questions during a meeting, or why your colleague failed to make a deadline. Psychologist, John Gottman says, “When you’re furious, you can’t be curious.” This is so true. How well you cope or do not cope depends on the perceived threat of the situation.

Conflict is fused with emotions. Moving through conflict is not easy and can be uncomfortable. There are ways to manage it more effectively. We know that if you fail to control your emotions, they will control you because your thoughts and feelings impact your behaviours and the actions you will take.

Start by simply stopping and taking a deep breath, this pause can help you reconnect with yourself and think about what is happening more clearly. It may take several minutes or even hours. You do not always need to respond right away – especially to emails. If emotions are charged, it is best to speak face to face or at least by phone.

Acknowledge and accept your emotions. Reflect on why you are triggered emotionally. Separate the facts from the emotions that you are feeling, you will discover a wealth of information. Pay attention to what those emotions are telling you. What expectation or values were violated? Why are you experiencing the conflict? What was the impact? What would you like to experience? Listen to what these emotions are telling you, this will help you identify the underlying cause of the conflict.

Remove the focus from yourself and try to gain an understanding where the other person is coming from. Clarify their needs and share your needs. People often fail to meet expectations or meet your needs because they do not know what they are. Most people have good intentions but fail to communicate their needs or decisions. Your colleague may have missed the deadline because he was waiting for information from someone else or he did not have the skillset. Your boss may have some inside information she has not shared with you yet and brought it up in a meeting and you felt blind-sided. Your teenager assumes you will drive them to the mall but does not understand you have an important meeting because no one communicated with each other. When you express how you are feeling, what you want, and do not want, you will be able to work more collaboratively in coming up with a win-win situation or solution to the problem.

You can deal with conflict more effectively and discover your voice when you stay in the kitchen and do not fan the flames. Own your emotions and uncover the facts. Stop, Breathe, and Be Curious!!!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com

What Big Picture Thinkers Can Do and Why Small Picture Thinkers Should Stretch

November 2, 2015 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

When it comes to strategic thinking, perspective matters. I recently came across a cartoon about a man on a deserted island, he was jumping for joy and there was a boat coming toward him. Finally, he would be rescued. The next cartoon had a man rowing his boat pumping his arms in the air saying “Land!” He has been lost at sea and now can rest on land. We can have similar experiences but how we interpret them differs.

Big picture thinkers have a very different view of a situation, challenge, or problem. They are the individuals who take a step back and try to see things from all angles. They take the 30,000 foot perspective to get the bird’s eye view. Whereas, the small picture thinker or “detailed-oriented” thinker pays attention to all the details and sometimes can overthink things and miss the big picture.

Even though small picture thinkers are hardworking; they often fail to prioritize and may even procrastinate while perfecting the details. Detail-oriented thinkers limit the possibilities by only thinking about how something will impact them versus the greater good. They worry about what others think of their work and are easily influenced by others. Don’t get me wrong though – we do need detail-oriented thinkers on a team, project, or board. Detail-oriented thinkers can inform big picture thinkers of the risks associated before decisions are made.

Small picture thinkers need to stretch out of their comfort zones and explore what it would be like to be a big picture thinker. In doing so, they can ask more effective questions. The better the questions you ask, the better decisions you make. Big picture thinkers are not afraid to test the waters and try new creative ideas and concepts. They have a low tolerance for the busyness in the details. They are results driven. Big picture thinkers tend to be entrepreneurs, life coaches, and campaign managers.

If you are a detail-oriented thinker, you are probably wondering how you can stretch to think bigger than you have been. It is not that hard.

Think like a Child. Remember when you were a child you have no fears and no limitations – everything was possible.
Believe in the Possibilities. Believe what you want to achieve is possible.
Use Empowering Language. Focus on “how can I” contribute or make something happen. No excuses, no complaining, and no criticism.
Take a Solution-focused Approach. Break down barriers by asking powerful questions.
Set Action Oriented Goals with a Deadline. Break down goals into small manageable pieces over a period of time. Each action will build momentum for the next until you have achieved what you are after.
Take Time to Think. We all have the same 24 hours in a day but so many people are caught up in the busyness that they fail to take time to think things through.
Focus on Your Strengths and Abilities. No one expects you to be good at everything. Surround yourself with people who are skilled in the areas you are not. Let them strengthen the vision and offer new perspectives.
Surround Yourself with Ambitious Like–Minded People. You want to surround yourself with people who help you stretch, grow, and become a better version of yourself. These are the people who support you and want you to succeed.

Big picture thinkers have insight into what the impact on a decision will be. Before acting on the big picture, take time to think things through. Challenge your assumptions by asking questions and gaining more knowledge. What do you need to stop doing? What do you need to start doing? What do you need to do less of? What do you need to start doing more of? By asking questions, you are setting yourself up for long term success.

Are you the man on the island or the man in the row boat? Maybe, you will be the pilot of the helicopter looking down at two people to rescue? Stretch out of your current way of seeing things; you could be holding yourself back from seeing all the possibilities and opportunities in front of you.

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She is has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com

Are You Sacrificing Your Potential to Help Others?

October 12, 2015 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Networking can prove to be one of the most powerful was to fill your pipeline of clients. In one Gallup study, 50% of people feel networking is wasting time with people. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 70 % of all jobs are found through networking. Networking offers opportunities and inside track information that you will not find in the newspaper or online. Why? Networking is about building relationships. Networking is not a waste of time if you come from the belief that you are here to build relationships and help people achieve their goals. You are not there to see how many cards you collect or how many cards you can hand out in 30 minutes. You are there to meet new people and nurture relationships that have already formed.

Collecting a stack of business cards on your desk is like throwing away money or as some would say flushing good money down the toilet. I do not think it is the networking that bothers people as it is so much of the issue as it is the follow-up. Many people are afraid to pick up the phone for the fear of rejection, resistance, and being challenged on their knowledge and ability to assist another person. I had the opportunity to assist with a political campaign by phoning residents asking for their support. Most people were polite. Some were not interested. No one yelled at me. I removed emotion and shared information. Remember – not everyone is the right fit. Really, what is the worst thing that will happen?

What happens if you do not take action? Your results are the same now that if you do not take action. The answer is always a “no” until ask or take some form of action. You miss out on developing rich relationships, referrals, meals, and potentially profits. You are in business to make money right? If not, you have a hobby. You are sacrificing your potential to help someone improve their performance, productivity, or profit with your product or service. You have the knowledge, skill, and ability to help others breakthrough barriers and create or innovate new things. If you do not share how you can help them or someone they know, how are they supposed to know about what you can do?

What is worse? You lose out on your opportunity to grow and learn. Each person I meet teaches me about a new concept, idea, or a perspective of how I can better serve others. What are you waiting for? Go ahead and attack that stack of cards on your desk. People may be waiting for your call. They may have lost or misplaced your card. Make the first move.

What do your prospects and customers teach you?

Do You Know Where Your Next Client Is Coming From?

October 12, 2015 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Are you too busy doing activities that do not serve you? Are you hiding behind the computer because the thought of networking makes you queasy? Do you think networking is a waste of time? Maybe, you thought if you built your business, product or service, the people would come. Sorry to disappoint you but people do not just come.

Your friends and family may have been your first customers. You may even feel that the well has dried up and you do not know where your next client is going to come from. The problem here is that you do not have a plan.

Find New Customers words written on a calendar date or day with red marker

You need to have a plan. People need to learn about you and what you offer. You have to build the know, like, and trust factor. People have to get to know and like you before they will trust you with their money. Studies have shown on average it takes about 7-9 touches or contacts with a person before they will do business with someone. For some people, it takes up to 25 times. It takes even longer before they will refer someone from their circle of friends or colleagues.

Think about how you size up people and situations before you do business with them. Chances are that once you have built the relationship with them you have no problem doing business with them or referring others to them.

There are many ways to attract the ideal client. Networking events are only one of the ways to get the word out about your product or service. These events are a great way to meet new people. The most common downside I see when going to networking events is people tend to gravitate to people they already know. I challenge you to introduce yourself to three people you do not know. Find out what they do. Share what you do. Ask questions to learn more about what they do and learn more about them. You may offer a complimentary gift such as a sample or session for people to trial you. If you are not leveraging networking opportunities, you are giving money to your competition. If you do not serve your customer, someone else will.

People crave face to face connections and conversations. Live events are the best way to create those connections and get the conversations started. Networking events are a gathering of people for a common purpose. The ice breaker has already been established. You already have a relevant theme to talk about.

Live event ideas to meet your next client:

Chamber of Commerce events
Professional associations
Women’s Groups
Trade/Industry Associations
Rotary, Lion’s, and Kiwanis
Alumni associations
Sporting events
Business Mixers
Volunteer Opportunities
Conferences
meetup.com
Classes and workshops

Get out where the people are. Live events are only one way to meet your next client. Do not discount your everyday interactions in the grocery line or bank line up, at the gym or at your child’s school. Do the people you interact with know what you do? If not, here is an opportunity you are missing out on. Do not forget to leverage your social media interactions and check out Kijiji, Craigslist, Eventbrite, and Meetup.com for ways to connect with like-minded people.

Before you know it, you will be connected with several individuals. Now, you need to follow up and continue to build and nurture these relationships. Find out what their goals are and how you can help them. Zig Ziglar said, “You can get everything you want in life if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” When you do this consistently, you will not have to worry about where your next client will come from.

Where did you get your clients from?