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Stop Letting Your Troubles Keep You Awake at Night

August 16, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Do you dread getting up in the morning and going to work? Are you having trouble sleeping? Are you tossing and turning trying to get to sleep but nothing seems to work? Are you having trouble concentrating on simple tasks? You have many thoughts running through your head – all going in different directions. Some thoughts may be about how you are going to make ends meet or meet payroll, some thoughts may be about an interaction you have had or that you have yet to have with someone, and some thoughts may be that you no longer have passion or meaning in the work that you do. There can be many different thoughts troubling you. Don’t let them steal your joy, your happiness, or your sleep. You do have the power to change “what-is” to what you want it to be.

Identify What is Troubling You. You need to assess where you are at. What is troubling you? Is it one specific thing? Has your work become repetitive and routine? Do you look around and wonder if anyone else is feeling the same? Maybe you are wondering why you do not enjoy what you are doing anymore or you long to start your own business or jump into your side business full-time. Whatever is it, you do not have to face it alone. If you feel you need to brainstorm ideas or create a strategy, you can hire a coach to help you build an exit strategy or a plan. If you feel how you are feeling is related to anxiety or depression, a counselor or psychologist is the best person to support you.

Reflect on What Brought You Joy that You Stopped Doing. Everyone has things that they have built into their lives that bring them joy outside of work and business that creates anticipation and harmony (which some refer to as balance). Family vacations, listening to music, going for the morning run or partaking in sunrise yoga, or entertaining or long leisurely lunch with friends tend to be put on the backburner when we get consumed with work and family obligations. It is important to bring the things made you come alive back into your life. When you are happy and fulfilled, you not only share that happiness with others, you give them permission to do the same.

Decide What You Really Want. What are you passionate about? What makes you come alive because you have the burning desire to pursue it? The clearer you are, the clearer the path is before you to reach your destination. If you want to be a full-time entrepreneur, what does that look like? How will you spend your days? What is your product or service? How will you expose your product or service to the marketplace? If you want to change careers, what are you changing to? Do you need to go back to school?

“If you have a strong purpose in life, you don’t have to be pushed. Your passion will drive you there.” – Roy T. Bennett

Set a Date for Your Transition or Exit. Write down a specific date in which you plan to resign from your current role. Start planning backward from that date. What do you need to do to prepare for the transition? Do you need to save up a certain amount of money? Do you need to put together a training manual so you do not leave your replacement high and dry without some knowledge or history of your role?

Brainstorm What Barriers, Obstacles, or Roadblocks May Show Up. It is important to have these challenges in your awareness but do not focus on them. Know that there are internal and external roadblocks that may appear and brainstorm ways you may tend to them should they arise. You will be mentally prepared. They do should up.

Design Your Plan and Work the Plan. Write out your plan and create small milestones along the way. Breakdown each part of your plan into smaller tangible pieces; otherwise, you may get overwhelmed by all the things you feel you need to do. The daily actions will start creating momentum and propel you forward.

Celebrate Your Success. When you achieve your goal or reach your milestone, it is important that you take some time to acknowledge how far you have come from where you were. You took matters into your own hands and made decisions for YOU. You do not want to live with regret wondering what would have happened if you only made the leap.

Inject what you love doing into your life. If it does not make you say, “Hell yes!” or “Absolutely”; it means, “Hell No!” or “Not a Chance!” Life is too short to not do what you love and leave your signature out in the world.

What goal have you set that will make you jump out of bed in the morning and go after it?

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: business strategy, entrepreneur, entrepreneurship, goal setting, goals, making decisions, SMART goal setting, strategic planning

7 Reasons Why People Are Resistant to Goal Setting

November 5, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Have you ever had a new idea or want to implement something and you face resistance? Do you ever feel that you’re defending yourself or your ideas? Do you sometimes feel that you’re lowering your standards because you can’t get others to buy in? Facing resistance can be very challenging when you’re goal setting. Resistance can also work in your favour if you know how to leverage it. When you are faced with resistance, I want you to challenge your assumptions and ask more questions to identify, “Where this resistance is coming from?” Is this resistance coming from yourself and your own beliefs or is this resistance being placed on you do to another person’s belief?

“Resistance is a powerful motivator precisely because it enables us to fulfill our longing to achieve our goals while letting us boldly recognize and name the obstacles to those achievements.”
― Derrick A. Bell

Many people attribute their success to goal-setting. There are other individuals who do not see the reason or the importance of setting goals. They are what we will call the “resistors”. These are the people that no matter how much you are going to try and convince them; they are just not going to buy in. According to the online Oxford dictionary, resistance is “the refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.”

Resistors are the ones who will see the world through a different lens than you. Instead of fueling the resistance, it can be helpful to gain an understanding of their perspective. It has been my learning through appreciative inquiry that when faced with resistance or someone providing negative feedback it is important to gain an appreciation of that person’s viewpoint. There may be nuggets of information that can be considered valuable to a project or to the goals set themselves.

There may be several reasons behind they are resisting setting goals or following through on them even though many people have proved to be successful goal setting.

#1 Afraid Of Commitment By “Inking” The Goal. For some people, writing out a goal on paper means that they’re making a declaration or a commitment to what they are doing. Suddenly they go from talking a good talk to actually walking the talk in doing what they say they want to do. This can be frightening and at the same time so powerful. When a person sets the goal and writes it down, the mere writing it down in ink suddenly makes it seem more real. This is when all the doubts, self-limiting beliefs, and all the internal chatter comes up.

What to Do: Tap into the “why”. What makes this goal so exciting? What is holding the resistor back from inking the goal? What is their true fear? What will it feel like to achieve the outcome that is desired? What impact will it make? How will they be part of making a difference?

# 2 Different View of How Things Should Be Done. Similar to the sales process or a person’s view of change, you may be faced with objections or resistance. There are many ways to get to the same outcome. Sometimes when we face resistance we feel challenged and get frustrated.

What to Do: Ask insightful questions to learn more about the other person’s perspective and share your perspective. Are there any similarities? What can you learn from the other person’s viewpoint? Is it possible that there could be more efficient and effective way of getting to the same outcome?

#3 Different Vision of the Outcome. People may become disinterested in supporting a project or goal because they have a different vision of what the outcome could be. Resistance may show up because the resistor doesn’t have enough information or has not been influenced to believe that this vision is compelling.

What to Do: You may consider saying the following:

“It sounds like you have a different view of how things should be. What vision do you see? What approach do you believe we should be taking? Tell me more…”

#4 Fear Sets In. There may be many fears that creep up when setting goals. There is the fear of rejection and not being accepted. You may believe that people will laugh at your goals or the ideas you present. Remember is that your goal is your goal and it needs to be important to you. People will always have their opinions. It is important not to take them personally. People often fear change due to uncertainty. The fear of success may also challenge you. Your imagination starts to take over and you think about all the things that could happen should your project or goal be achieved. Many of the things that you think of may or may not even happen and you may even feel that there’s a loss of control. The fear of failing may come up for you and this will prevent you from taking action steps required to go to war the goal. You become fearful of making mistakes and sometimes will not even try.

What to Do: Withholding your ideas does not serve anyone. Your idea could be the game changer that helps you reach the next level or transform approach if you might be working on. Whether it be that you have a fear of success, change, uncertainty, loss of control, or failure, know that you can take 100% responsibility for the choices that you make. Seek to gain more information and ask questions. Remember indecision is a decision. When you’re setting goals, evaluate the risks and be prepared for obstacles that don’t focus on. Focus on what you have control over and the actions steps that you can do. If mistakes occur, learn from them and move forward. Dwelling on them steals your energy and joy in moving toward the destination.

# 5 The Belief That Goal-Setting Stifles Creativity. For the creatives out there, you may see goal-setting is suffocating with tight deadlines and the need to multitask. The structure of goal setting can actually be beneficial to you so that you’re not distracted by all the other ideas that are streaming through your mind at any point in time.

“Every creative person, and I think probably every other person, faces resistance when they are trying to create something good…The harder the resistance, the more important the task must be.”
― Donald Miller

What to Do: Be open and present to new opportunities while pursuing a goal. Look for ways that a can in rich and allow for creativity along your journey. Know that there will be adjustments along the way. As you adjust be aware of your distractions, stay focused on the direction that you want to go. When creative people become resistant, it important to engage them in brainstorming and coming up with solutions. This is where they shine.

#6 Self-Limiting Beliefs Can Sabotage Goal-Setting. A person’s belief in their own ability to perform or deliver on tight deadlines can hold them back from achieving the goal or delivering the final product. Often these individuals lacked confidence in their abilities and sometimes believe that others are better than themselves. This comparison can hold them back from sharing their talents and abilities even if you see that they are capable and competent.

What to Do: Identify your strengths and acknowledge that we all have some limitations. Know what you’re good at and delegate what you do not believe you’re strong at. If you’re managing a team, let these individuals know the value that they bring to the project and that you acknowledge their knowledge, skills, and abilities. People can work harder when they know that someone has taken an interest in who they are and what they have to offer. Don’t just focus on people for the task by what they bring to the table and who they are.

#7 Personal Habits Can Get In The Way. Habits are often underestimated is the reason people resist setting a goal. Some people resist setting the goal because they’re procrastinating. They avoid goal setting versus setting up a strategic approach to conquering the goal. For some, they may believe that it will take up too much time, too much money, or it’s going to take away from their lives in some way. There are times when I believed people avoid setting goals because they know that setting a goal requires hard work and they just don’t want to put that work in. Some of these people do just enough to get by. Other habits that get in the way of goal achievement and goal setting are perfection, lack of attention to detail, distractions, and being overscheduled. Don’t forget a person’s attitude can forecast their altitude!

What to Do: Examine your habits and determine if they are serving you are holding you back. Ask yourself or the resistor if they may be procrastinating or what they may be trying to avoid. Learn how much time, money, and effort is required for each milestone dedicated toward the goal. Along the way, put out the following questions:

What is working?

What is not working?

What do I need to stop doing?

What needs to be improved?

What can I be doing differently?

No matter if you are managing your own resistance or the resistance of another person, there are ways to motivate and encourage individuals to raise their standards while also holding them accountable for their actions. Self-reflection is an important part of a person’s growth. It allows for self-awareness, self-management, and self-development. People cannot improve what they’re not aware of.

My challenge for anyone facing resistance is that you challenge your assumptions and assumptions of others. Resistance means that you must be curious and gain an understanding of what is being resisted. Discover new perspectives and realize that there are more ways to achieving the desired outcome. Trust your people and trust the process along the way.

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. Debra is the host of The Millionaire Woman Show podcast helping people live rich from the inside out through leadership, business, and human potential. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: conquering fear, creativity, embracing fear, facing challenges, facing resistance, fear of change, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of uncertainty, goal setting, habit breaking, habit forming, habits, overcoming challenges, overcoming resistance, overcoming self-limiting beliefs, project management, reason why people resist, resistance, SMART goal setting

5 Steps to Finding Your Sweet Spot and Turning Goals into Reality

November 1, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

Some people search their whole lives in search of their sweet spot. The sweet spot is the intersection between doing what you love and having the ability to make money at it. Many entrepreneurs and artists pursue this quest. Your sweet spot can also be defined as “being in the zone” while you are working on a goal. An example of this is the team that is working synergistically toward a common goal to reach their desired outcome. Everything seems to be falling into place and everyone is getting along.

Success doesn’t happen by accident! You do need to put in the work to make things happen. It doesn’t happen without a vision. There are certain steps that you need to take to hit your sweet spot.

Get Clear on What You Want. What result or outcome do you want to achieve?

Set a Goal. When you set a goal, you are setting a target to aim at. As you set your goals, ensure it stirs up some emotions of excitement and enthusiasm inside of you. Emotional connection is important in goal setting. What will it feel like when you achieve your goal? The emotional connection helps you face challenges and obstacles in pursuit of the goal.

A friend of mine set up a Facebook group and challenged us to set a swim goal. I had set my goal to be 4000 metres in 10 weeks. I would average 400 m per week. I watched others post their weekly accomplishments and asked myself – “Am I holding anything back?” My next swim I swam 1000 metres and the swim after that I did the same. I ended up reaching my goal in 4 weeks. I raised the goal to 10000 in 10 weeks as I had 6 weeks left. I met 10000 metres in 10 weeks. It felt amazing! I amazed myself!

Ink your Goal. Setting a goal requires you to set a SMART goal. When you INK your goals, you THINK about them.

Your goal must have the following criteria:

Your goal needs to be SPECIFIC. What do you want to accomplish?

Your goal needs to be MEASURABLE. How will you measure your goal? (numbers, rating scales, dollars) If you do not have a measure, how will you know you have met your goal?

Your goal needs to be ACHIEVABLE. Can you achieve this goal? What resources are available? What do you need to help you get there? Your goals should stretch you to help you grow. It cannot be too easy that you can achieve without effort. It cannot be too hard that you give up before you even try. What goal can you make that will stretch you and require some effort?

Your goal needs to be REALISTIC. Is this goal something you can achieve with all the resources and know how in the timeframe you set?

Your goal needs to be TIMELY. What timeframe do you want to achieve your goal? Your time frame should not be too early that it is not realistic and not too far into the distant future that you may forget about it or procrastinate on getting started. The best time to begin is – NOW!

Make a Plan. Break down your goal into smaller manageable pieces. What needs to be done to get reach the end goal? Use reverse engineering to plan backwards and create milestones or accomplishment markers of what needs to be done. These markers are there for you to see the progress and help you gain momentum to work toward the next marker.

Keep your Goals in Front of You. Review your goals 3-4 times per day. Keep them where you can see them in your forefront. Post sticky notes on the bathroom mirror, on your steering wheel, or on your computer monitor. Seeing and feeling the goal being achieved helps you feel that it will become a reality – it’s possible.

Possibility pushes self-doubt aside. Focus magnifies and shines a spotlight on the direction you are heading. Intentional actions stake your path to success. When you discover your sweet spot and get into the zone, you will not feel like you are working because you are enjoying what you are doing so much. The focus and drive will lead you to turn your goal into reality. It all starts with ink on your pen. Now make it happen.

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: backwards planning, being in the zone, common goal, find your sweet spot, goal achievement, goal review, goal setting, goals, reach your end goal, revese engineer your goals, SMART goal setting, turn goals into reality

Stop Goal Fretting and Get into Goal Setting

December 9, 2013 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

 

“Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the moment of time over which you have control: now.” – Denis Waitley

 

Do you go into a panic frenzy of goal fretting when asked to set goals.? Do you catch yourself starting to list all the reasons you should not set goals maybe you have hear of some of these excuses:

  • Why should I set goals? I will not reach them.
  • I set goals last year. Nothing happened. (Did you take any action? No. Well then…)ID-10096420
  • I just get frustrated, anxious, and sweaty just thinking about them.
  • No one can tell me if I am on the right track or not.
  • My goals are dreams – lists of the best case scenario should they come to be.
  • I do not feel I need to sacrifice anything to reach my goals.
  • I have too many goals to list.

Do you see the trend? Have you caught anyone saying these things? How successful are you right now or the people who say these statements?

Are they where you want to be?

Reasons while you may fail at reaching your goals:

  • Lack belief in yourself, otherwise known as, self-doubt
  • You do not have an actionable plan or strategy to make it happen.
  • No deadline.
  • Do not want to step over your defined comfort zone.
  • Goal set is not realistic or not achievable.
  • Too many goals set and you feel overwhelm.
  • You do ask for help or share your goals. How can anyone help you if you do not let them know how to help or what your goals even are?
  • No way to measure whether or not you have met your goals.
  • You do not have an emotional connection or investment into your goals. Either they are not that important or you are living out someone else’s dream. Be careful mediocrity and apathy could set in.

where is my life goingRemember new beginnings can start anytime you decide to make a fresh start – not just at the end of the year with New Year’s Resolutions. Most of these resolutions are doomed to fail by January 15th for many of the above reasons.

Do not be a statistic.

I want you to succeed.

 

Here are actionable steps you can start taking to stop goal fretting and start goal setting:

  • Set goals that challenge and motivate you. Step out of the comfort zone even if it is a little bit. Try something new.
  • Ensure your goal is important to you and you have an emotional vested interest. (WHY is it important? WHY NOW?)
  • Write down 2-3 goals you would like to achieve in the next 3 months. Set 1-2 big goals you would like to achieve during the next year.
  • Ensure your goals are realistic and achievable both in skills, knowledge, and resources available to you.
  • Share your goals with someone you trust. Let them hold you accountable if they see you getting off track.
  • Determine a way that you can measure your outcome or results so that you know you have achieved your goal.
  • Breakdown your goals into smaller action steps. The more detailed and clear you are about where you want to go, the more likely you will achieve it.
  • Learn from the past, prepare for the future, but celebrate today!

I would love to hear about some of the goals you have set for yourself. What are your goals? Do you have a dream?

Feel free to join me on December 18th, 2013 at 11 am MST for the Goal Setting & Motivation Teleseminar . Take a Quantum Leap into 2014!

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: achievement, goal getting, goal setting, reasons not to set goals, setting goals, SMART goal setting

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