Debra Kasowski

Episode 93 – Silence Your Inner Critic

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Each of us has an inner voice. Some people refer to it as the inner voice of knowing- but does it really know, especially when the negative thoughts rear their ugly heads. Isn’t bad enough you wonder what other people are saying about you or the efforts you put out? You don’t need any extra judgment as you already are your own worst critic. There are times you say things to yourself that you would not voice out loud and direct at anyone else. Why? The inner critic is not compassionate, kind, or respectful. If you wouldn’t say it to anyone else, why say such mean things to yourself. It’s not that you are wanting to get rid of the inner voice, you are managing the negative thoughts.

When you are in a negative state of mind, you will take actions to support your thoughts and feelings, ultimately, impacting the results you are getting. You need to stop the critic because it crushes your self-confidence to take essential actions required to achieve results. Think of your radio dial; you can tune into music and messaging that you choose to listen to. Many of the messages in your mind have been forged from the past and no longer serve the current situation. It may have come from criticism or advice. You may hear the voice of your mother or father commenting on something and you have hung onto to it. Now in the present something comes up and you think it must be true because someone else has said it even it does not even fit the current situation.

You want to be able to silence the inner critic, the chatter, you hear in your head. Managing the thoughts, you are having is not as difficult as you think. Your mind is flooded with over 50,000-70,000 thoughts in a day with many of them being negativity. Most of these thoughts are unconscious until you bring them into your awareness. As soon as you bring a thought into your awareness, you can make a conscious choice whether you want to keep the thought or reject it. Unfortunately, you may grab a single negative thought and play it in your head like a broken record. It does not serve you – it is time to manage your thoughts and toss those negative ones away altogether.

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
― Theodore Roosevelt

It all begins with…self-awareness.

What thoughts are you thinking? Once you can notice your thoughts in the moment, now you can change them but before you do, why are you having them, to begin with? Is your self-confidence low? Is fear coming up? Even though negative thoughts come up and their many have been moments that you tell yourself, “I am stupid.”, you need to stop and remember there also have been a time you have shined and felt on top of the world. You are not stupid – your behavior or action you took was not the right one now.

When you catch yourself saying a negative thought, STOP and take notice of it. You can say, “Cancel, cancel, cancel”. Your thoughts are powerful. Your thoughts influence the actions you are going to take. If you are in a bad mood, you may react to a situation or say things you would later regret.

REFRAME the thought into a positive thought. Positive thoughts lead to positive actions. Positive actions will get you closer to the success you are looking for. The reason people do not achieve the success they are looking for is often because the get caught up in the stories they tell themselves.

Get into a positive state of mind. When I studied the morning routines of successful people, I learned that they put themselves into a positive state. To get yourself into a positive state, you can pray or meditate, exercise, write in a gratitude journal, or read a book that gets your mind primed for the day. The morning is not the only time you can do this. You can change your state by simply thinking of a time where you felt unstoppable and you felt at the peak of success.

Your inner voice is not a bad thing…it can warn you or alert you to doing your due diligence. It is a bad thing when you allow thoughts to take root and sabotage your efforts. You need to remind yourself that you have greatness within you – everyone does. Holding back on your greatness serves no one – if you hold back – it is a tragedy. Everything in life is interconnected. If you do not fulfill your purpose, others are impeded from fulfilling theirs.

Make a choice. Your imagination can run wild if you let it. Telling you stories of disempowerment. You need to harness your thoughts and empower yourself. You can break down your stories and examine the words that you use. The word “Can’t” places limits on what you believe is possible and what you think you are capable of doing. Yes, there are somethings that you can’t do such as swim without oxygen in the depth of the sea or fly above the mountains like an eagle. There are things you can do and you are stopping yourself from doing them.

Can’t is a choice. You are choosing not to. Do you notice when you have a choice you suddenly have empowered yourself and taken control of the actions you are taking? What CAN you do? Stephen King said, “you can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” Focus on what you can do versus what you cannot.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.”
― Henry Ford

You have more power than you give yourself credit for. When you pay attention to what you are saying and how those words make you feel and the thoughts you are having, you can start taking actions that support your success rather than sabotage it.

Be Aware -Notice and Understand It.

Stop – Cancel the thought.

Reframe It.

Get into a positive state.

CHOOSE – what you are going to say and do that will empower you!

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

 

 

 

 

Do You Want to Know What Is Really Blocking Your Success?

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Do you have a dream or a goal that you have been working on but just don’t seem to be getting anywhere? Do you feel think you are spinning your wheels or maybe you have a hit a plateau? Do you ever sit back and wonder if success is in your future? One of the most vital components to is how you think…yes your mindset. The biggest obstacle blocking your success is YOU! Ouch! I know. We often think of roadblocks as being those obstacles outside of ourselves however, we have more control than we think. So much for blaming and complaining about all those other people around us.

What Can You Do Unblock Your Success?

  • Define What Success Means to You. Success means different things to different people. For people, success is define by money, cars, homes, and vacations. Whereas others view success as the quality of their relationships, their free time, and their accomplishments.
  • Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life and Your Success. You are the only one responsible for your success. Are you giving your best effort? Are you spending your time where you excel? Are you owning what you do? No complaining, blaming, or excuses allowed!
  • Keep Positive. We have an express train ideas every minute with thoughts and ideas. Some are good and some are not so good. You need to reframe them. Most of the time, believe it or not, it tends to be negative chatter questioning our every move. You may hear things like, “What makes you think you can do that?”, “You are not as good as..”, and “Who is going to listen to you?” It is time to silence that voice but saying “YES, I can.”,  “I am good – I am great – there is no one like me.”, and “My voice needs to be heard.” Be kind to yourself. Would you speak to others the way you talk to yourself?
  • Set Defined Goals with Deadlines and Expected Outcome. Write down what it is you wish to achieve. Break it down into smaller tasks. Create a road map of your plans and strategize what you can delegate. There are no “one hit wonders” in sustainable success.
  • Take Action. My favorite!!! When you take even the smallest action step, you create a momentum that can lead to big results. Your mindset will begin to focus on getting the results you want.

Your mindset is the most powerful thing in the world. When you focus on what you want to achieve versus what you do not want, you are more likely to get it. Your success is not determined by mindset alone. You must take action to achieve what you want. Now go out there and take on the day!

 

How to Gain Control Over Your Fears

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I think each one of us has a fear of something that we work toward overcoming. Some people try to hide from their fears whereas others tiptoe around them. I am not a big fan of speed but I challenged myself to try the West Coast Slide. It is a sled on a track that has a joystick allowing you to accelerate or brake. The whole slide time is under 30 seconds. I had mentioned how I thought this ride was pretty amazing! The attendant said it was because I had control! How very true. Your fears dissipate when you feel that you have control. Think about an area in your life where you would like to feel that you are in control rather than living in fear.

Here are 3 Ways to Gain Control Over Your Fears:

  • Evaluate the Odds. Learn what you need to learn in order to feel more comfortable with taking action. This is often refered to as, due diligence. Investigate the risks and what you need to do in order to mitigate them – then take action.
  • Practice, Practice, Practice. The more prepared you are for what you want to do, the more natural it will feel. You will be able to go through the motions with confidence and get the results that you want.
  • Mind Over Matter. Many of the fears you have are perceived and probably would never occur. Sometimes, you just need to ask yourself – What is the worst thing that could happen? How likely is it that this could occur? Do I know 100% that what I fear will come true? Chances are you do not know. Prepare your mind for victory. Shift your mindset by asking yourself – What will it feel like to conquer that fear and achieve what you want?

Do not let your fears hold you back from truly experiencing what life has to offer! Live fully and be rich from the inside out!

Please share how you overcome some of your fears!

 

What Can I Change to Get the Results I Want?

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Are you asking yourself, “What can I change to get the results I want?” If not, you should be! Yes, I know not everyone embraces change well. Change can create the most amazing results if you are willing to take action. There are three areas you should be reviewing on a daily, weekly, and at least a monthly basis. What is working well in your business? DO MORE OF! What is not working well? Either stop doing it or revise your plan. Finally, what do I know I should stop doing? If you know it, DO IT! The questions seem pretty simple! It takes practice to shift your mindset, gather the information you need to make your decision, and push through any fears you may have to taking action.

Here are 5 simple strategies you can use to start getting the results you want:

  1. Identify what is working in your life and business right now. Write them down and be specific. What have you done consistently or differently to get this result? What has worked before but you stopped doing and why?
  2. Decide what you must change. What 2 actions steps – either change in thought, behavior, or action – would have the greatest impact in your life and business right now? Write them down. Is there anything you can be doing right now to achieve it? Remember all it takes is small steps to have great impact.
  3. Determine what is holding you back from taking action. Is it your mindset? Is it your pocketbook? What are you afraid of? Success is closer than you think. Feel your fear and take a small action step. Do you know your fear is ultimate true?
  4. Start taking action. What action steps are you willing to take TODAY to get the results you desire?
  5. Create momentum by doing another action step and another action step and share your mission of helping others with others so they can support you.

These simple strategies are best if used consistently. These strategies will help you get the results that you want and will also help you anticipate some of the obstacles that come up on your path to success. Shift your mindset to create lasting change and  develop an unlimited profit potential.