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The Importance of Self-Discovery and Being Yourself
Photo Credit: Cherise Arcand
Endless possibilities begin with self-discovery.
Self-discovery is a process of deepening your understanding of yourself through self-reflection, exploration, and learning and growth. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Insist on yourself; never imitate.” Each of us has unique gifts to share with the world.
Have you ever been in a cycle of comparing yourself to others? It is human nature to compare yourself to others as a barometer of how you are showing up in the world. In fact, you may have experienced it with your parents or a teacher expressing, “Why aren’t you more like…?” Why? Because you are not! You are on your own journey just as they are on theirs. What you are good at may not be what another person is good at. We were not all meant to be the same. If you attempt to imitate someone, you can lose your own identity. This is why you must insist on being your authentic self!
Research shows that social media can be problematic as it can lead to social comparison that can be linked to negative psychological outcomes such as low self-esteem and depression. Ralph Waldo Emerson stated, “envy is ignorance, imitation is suicide.” When you start comparing yourself to others, you lose sight of your own uniqueness, talents, and gifts that are part of your own greatness. Jealousy is a call for action as it suggests that you want for yourself what another has. Envy is not healthy as it can be an obsession over wanting to be, do, or have what another has. Every time you imitate another person. you lose a piece of yourself and eventually, you may no longer know yourself to be you. It is important to acknowledge when you see social media posts of others that you are observing moments of time and not someone’s entire life journey.
Self-Reflection In a world where individuals can be quick to offer their opinions, you need to be able to use discernment. If you attempt to navigate your path based on other’s opinions, you can get to a point where you feel you have lost your way. One day, one person offers you one opinion. The next day someone else may offer theirs, and it can feel like there is a moving target. You may feel that you are getting caught up in societal expectations versus what may be best for you.
Self-reflection is truly about learning about yourself – your wants and desires, your likes, and dislikes, your strengths and weaknesses. who you are as a person, and what you want to be, do, or have. Discover what is working for you and what is not working for you. You may need to change patterns, habits, or routines. Journalling is one tool I recommend to my clients to help them to reflect and understand themselves better.
Exploration Nobody knows what your gifts are until you share them. You only know what you currently know. The more you expose yourself to new situations and experiences, the more you learn about yourself. Exploration requires that you step out of your comfort zone to try new things. How do you know what you like or dislike if you have never tried it? You might take a solo trip or go for dinner by yourself. You might take a pottery or painting class or even learn a new language. You might take a singing lesson or take on a leadership position. How do you know what you are capable of until you put yourself in the position to find out? People often underestimate themselves more than they over-estimate themselves.
Learning and Growth As you explore your opportunities, you will make mistakes along the way. Some people will see it as a failure. Failure is necessary for success. There are no true failures when you learn and grow from your experiences and circle back to discovering more about yourself and what to do and not to do. There is a richness of knowledge you can take away.
You can support your learning and growth in many ways: volunteering, reading books and industry articles, listening to podcasts or audiobooks, taking courses or workshops, attending conferences, networking with others, or participating in fitness or other group activities.
Your path is your path. Take time to reflect on what you want for yourself. Listen to other people’s opinions with discernment, curiosity, and caution. Explore what you are capable of, you may surprise yourself! Commit to continuous learning and keep a growth mindset.
Above all, insist on yourself! It takes courage to be who you are! You are braver than you think! Discover the best version of you!
Episode 34: What About the Competition
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Competition is one of those driving forces that can either serve you or stall you. In First of all with getting straight, there are 7 billion people on this planet you alone cannot serve all of them and nor do you want to because some people are just not the right fit for what you’re doing. You want to be really clear on what you were focused on and what you want to accomplish.
Competition can be a good thing. What happens when people start competing or looking at their competition? Competition keeps you on your toes figure always looking for ways to improve and innovate and be cutting-edge. Competition pushes you to see how well you’ll do under pressure. Your performance gets fine-tuned and productivity can skyrocket. The value that comes out of competition is the ability to step back and learn from the competitors. Take time to learn what they’re doing well and also learn what they’re not doing well. What do you need to be doing differently to get similar results in your style?
“Anytime you find someone more successful than you are, especially when you’re both engaged in the same business – you know they’re doing something that you aren’t.”
― Malcolm X, The Autobiography of Malcolm X
When you have competition it forces you to step outside your comfort zone to you don’t get too comfortable to point that you get complacent. Complacency leads to decreased efforts and motivation. When there’s competition this could mean that you’re truly on to something and there is a demand to the marketplace. Why not you? What will you do to stand out from the crowd and create a memorable experience for your customer?
Where competition gets bad is when you start comparing with a viewpoint of lack of what you have to offer. If you start thinking and believing your competition is better than you, you will lose motivation and not put in the effort required. When you start thinking this way you will create imaginary obstacles and roadblocks that will stand in your way from moving forward and actually stall you. This is where you may self-sabotage your own success.
“If we can keep our competitors focused on us while we stay focused on the customer, ultimately we’ll turn out all right.”
―Jeff Bezos
You’ll start focusing too much on your competition on ways you can improve in the fact of beating someone versus focusing on your own business or whatever you’re working on. This could be detrimental because you’re not in line with your why. What also happens when some people get into a competitive state is that they feel that if they can’t win or be the best they don’t put in the effort because they feel there’s no point. These people tend to focus on the prize rather than focusing on improvement to become their personal best.
Don’t let the competition get you down. What I want you to do is use this to fuel you?
Get to know your competition. What are they doing well? What are they not doing well? What makes them currently stand out? The more you learn about your competition the more you can learn about yourself and how to better position yourself.
Know your avatar. Know who your ideal client is and how you can best serve them. The more you know about them, the more you can serve their needs.
Increase your marketing efforts. You want more people to know about you, you need to increase your marketing efforts to get more exposure. No matter what the economic climate when people have seen marketing materials or have heard testimonials about a company they are more likely to work with someone based on a referral. Ensure that you have testimonials available on your website and marketing materials. Testimonials build trust.
Collaborate with others to be stronger. Look for ways to collaborate with others. You do not have to grow your business all alone. Look for people who complement your services and how you can join forces in marketing and promotion.
Show up at your best. First impressions are long-lasting. Look for ways to update your image. You are your brand. What you want people to remember about you?
Sometimes to be on the cutting edge in your industry, you need to put your blinders on. You need to stop focusing and comparing yourself to the competition attempting to learn from them. If you think you’ve been beaten you already are. It is time to build an unstoppable mindset in which you believe strongly in personal mastery and being on top of your game. Use competition to fuel you. Focusing on competition entirely is not sustainable. Focus on improving yourself. As the saying goes, be so good that they can’t ignore you.
Email me at Debra@debrakasowski.com and let us know what you would like to be featured on the show. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Give us a 5-star rating! Sign up for our Newsletter www.debrakasowski.com
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com
Time 10:22 minutes
Keywords: competition, achieve your personal best, personal best, self-improvement, work well under pressure, looking for ways to improve and innovate, competition is good, competition is bad, why competition is good, why competition is bad, mindset, focused on the prize, step out of your comfort zone, avoid getting too complacent
EPISODE 28: COMMIT TO LIFELONG LEARNING
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EPISODE 28: COMMIT TO LIFELONG LEARNING
For those who know me, you know that I am a constant state of learning. I’m looking up information, listening to podcasts, and I always have a book on the go. I consider myself a student for life and I want to encourage you to do the same. The world is in a constant rapid state of change and if you don’t learn and improve your skills you can become outdated very quickly.
No matter your profession whether you are an employee of an organization or business owner growing your business, you need to connect to a lifelong learning. I have gone to many conferences where you see people sign up for all the courses and webinars that are available. I wonder are they going to implement all of those things or are they caught up in the involvement of being part of those things.
There is a big difference between being involved in something or committing to something. You may have heard the story about bacon and eggs. The pig was committed and the chicken was involved. Those who are committed and are putting in the work are the ones who will see a return on their investment. They don’t get caught up in comparing themselves with others and other distractions to their focused on their end game and they know that these distractions will just get in their way. Being committed means that you’re invested and you are giving 100% in whatever you do.
To stop learning, is to truly get old. One of my endgames is to live 103 years old and I want to be as sharp as a tack. I know in order to do so, one of the most important things I need to be doing is to be open to learning and being interested in the world. Someone once said that if you want your life to be interesting you need to be interesting. So in order to do so, you need to try new things and learn new ways of doing things. When you start doing different things and get involved in conversations, people will find you interesting. They will be curious about what you know and want to learn more about what you have to share.
Ask for feedback. The world gives you continuous feedback. We must start shifting our thinking from failing and making mistakes is bad things and instead view them as learning opportunities. How would you know if something would not work unless you made an attempt? Recently I made my first Facebook live video and needless to say I do have room for improvement. My video went sideways literally and when I went to publish it but you didn’t realize you could delete it was turned sideways. Did it stop me from publishing the content? No, the message was important and timely and it actually calls people’s attention to it wondering what I had done. Did I learn from it? Absolutely. I’m so proud that I followed the prompting of going ahead and doing it. It was great to see the interaction and the kindness of people teaching me how to use it properly.
When you look to people you know and trust, you can learn new ways of doing things as well as seeking to improve. By asking for feedback, you are opening the door of opportunity to elevate yourself to a new level. When you hear the feedback, you have a choice whether to accept or reject it or at least entertainment. Ask yourself, “What can I learn from what was shared with me?” Get feedback from someone who’s been in your situation before. This can save you a lot of time and money is you may learn mistakes that they have previously made which you can avoid.
Find a mentor. A mentor is someone who is been in the space that you are working to achieve. They can share a variety of experiences and mistakes in which you can learn and grow from. You do not have to be on this journey all alone.
Get educated. So many people think that education is a formal process in the classroom. Life is education. Yes there are formal courses in which you need to grow and learn in different areas but not all education has to be within the doors of the classroom. With the Internet, there should be no excuses in committing to lifelong learning. There are so many websites with free resources in which you can fill in the gaps and hone your skills. There are programs like Coursera, Udemy, and TedTalks to guide and teach you new things from positive psychology to social media marketing. There are podcasts, YouTube videos, and articles available at your fingertips. What is most important is that you integrate what you learned how you show up in the world and what you do.
Thanks to the Internet, the excuses of needing money to get educated or purchase books or getting to classes no longer stand. You can take books out from the library for free. There is a way to get to what you want if you just into your resources. You don’t need to know everything or claim to. The most successful people know where the resources are and utilize them. They reach out to experts. They are open to new ideas and perspectives. People look for better ways to streamline what they currently do.
Get hands-on. Many people learn by doing. When you take the initiative to follow through and try new things, you create new experiences. You are actually taking action and learning as you go. You can adjust when you need to and carry-on.
Make a plan each day to learn. Take notes from articles and books that you read and decide what it is that you’re going to implement into how you show up in the world. You have everything you need to succeed truly at your fingertips and it was in the world that you live in right now it all depends on how you plan to use.
Thanks for joining us on The Millionaire Woman Show today. I would love to hear how you have committed to lifelong learning e-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com we would love to hear from you. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Give us a 5-star rating! Sign up for our Newsletter www.debrakasowski.com
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com
Time: 10.36 min
Keywords: learning, education, life is education, constant learning, commit to lifelong learning, self-improvement, pursuit of learning, practice, constant improvement, commitment, involvement, lifelong learning in nursing, lifelong learning quotes, lifelong learning plan, library, new skill, teaching, instruction, knowledge, academic skills, self-development, creative thinking, learning experience, learning opportunity, communication skills, online learning, learning strategies
Does Procrastination Really Have a Purpose?
I know many of us have procrastinated at one time or another in order to avoid rejection, failure, or working on something that really doesn’t interest us. I catch my kids holding up the homework train with text messaging or television – wondering when is this homework going to get done? I guess there are days I can even admit I ask the same thing about housework, laundry, and the odd business process. The other day my daughter came home from school and started explaining to me that she was at study skills session and the teacher said procrastination is not necessarily a bad thing. I thought, “Oh no – Here it comes!” My dear daughter said, “See Mom, not all procrastination is bad.” Her learning and declaration really got me thinking – maybe procrastination does have a purpose after all.
PROCRASTINATION STIMULATES CREATIVE THINKING
When you are crunched for time to get things done, you need to be creative and innovative with how you use your time. You might start with jotting down notes of all the pros and cons of a project, mind-mapping ideas, or drawing pictures of what needs to get done. Out of the box ideas may come from time constraints.
PROCRASTINATION LEADS TO HIGH PERFORMANCE/HIGH QUALITY
If you are one of those people who waits until the last minute to execute and achieves high results, you are amazing! I bet if you planned everything out you would probably not get the same results as you do when you are under pressure. Some individuals say they actually do not do as well by planning to the last detail. You have learned to use your procrastination to your advantage.
PROCRASTINATION LEADS TO CLARITY AND GOOD DECISION MAKING
By holding off on making a decision until you weigh out all the facts and information, you can reach clarity and make a decision you feel satisfied with. You gain better insight by reflecting on your next steps of action.
PROCRASTINATION MAY LEAD TO QUALITY “ME” TIME
Chances are you are a high achiever but high achievers still need to take a break to regroup and re-energize. Hopefully, in the process, you decided to play the piano, cook a gourmet meal, take pictures, or play a board game with your child. Whatever, you did instead, must have been more fulfilling at the time. Procrastination may be the “pause” in life you need.
PROCRASTINATION LEADS TO GREATER FOCUS AND GETTING MORE DONE IN A SHORTER AMOUNT OF TIME
You can hear the clock just ticking – you only have 20 minutes to get things done. Does your panic button alarm go off? When you have a shorter amount of time, you have to really work with purpose and take decisive action. You learn to get laser-focused and prioritize very quickly. I encourage you to set a timer and see how much you can get done in just 20 minutes. You will be amazed. Think of how fast you tidy up when someone says they are coming over to your house in 20 minutes.
Procrastination may have a purpose after all but it is not healthy if it cause guilt, perfectionism, or hinders action based on fears and self-doubt. I enjoyed reflecting and thinking about how there can be purposeful procrastination. The next time my daughter starts on her assignment at 10 p.m. maybe she needs to set herself a deadline and I need to be an observer of a procrastinator in action getting the results she wants. Thankfully – what we procrastinate about is a matter of choice. For the most part, procrastination is not a permanent way of being but a tool for high performance.
How has procrastination served you? Please share this article with the procrastinators in your life and comment below.