develop an attitude of gratitude Archives

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“See if you can catch yourself complaining, in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So, change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

We have all encountered people who have the glass half full viewpoint (optimist) and those with the glass half empty viewpoint (pessimist). Which one are you? Did you know we have 50,000-70,000 thoughts a day? 98% of those thoughts you have had the day before. Eighty percent of those thoughts are negative. It sounds crazy but most of your thoughts are not conscious thoughts. You have not brought them to your attention. When you do bring those thoughts to your attention, you have a choice whether to respond or not respond to them. If you focus or put your attention on a thought, you are giving energy to it or empowering that thought even if that thought could be wrong.

Don’t believe everything you think without questioning it. Your imagination can run away from itself – thinking often the worst of a situation rather than the best. To fight negativity, you must start with dealing with the negativity within.

Defeat the Negativity Within

Start by paying attention to what your inner voice is saying in any given situation. Is it empowering you or shaming you?

You cannot think a negative thought and a positive thought at the same time. When you think a negative thought, identify the thought and challenge your thought by questioning any assumptions you may be making. Surely, you have never made an assumption that was wrong before. I have I know I am not the only one. Remember though only have the meaning we give them. So, if you do not like the thought you are thinking, think a different thought or don’t give it meaning or your attention. Shift your energy by reframing the thought positively. Reframing will help change your perspective on some of the limiting beliefs you may be having. For example,

“I am not good enough to be chosen for the promotion.”

Is this thought true?

How do you know?

What do you want to be thinking?

“I AM good enough to be chosen for the promotion.”

Feel the energy shift. Wherever you focus your time and attention to, you will get more of. What are some of the self-limiting beliefs that you are having? Write out what your self-limiting beliefs are. Challenge the assumptions you may be making. Reframe the thought to an empowering thought. What do you want to be thinking? Consider capturing your thoughts by writing them down in a journal and reframing them.

Stop exposing yourself to negativity. Steer clear from watching the news first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed. There is a lot of negative news going on the world that can really affect your mood and mindset. What kind of movies and books to you read? What are you feeding your mind with? I am hoping is entertaining you, inspiring you, or educating you to become the best you can be!

Develop an attitude of gratitude. Start and end your day in gratitude. Gratitude is about being thankful and appreciative of something tangible or intangible and how it has impacted our lives. What are you grateful for? Positive psychology research shows that people who are grateful tend to be happier. Tell people in your life that you are grateful for them in your life or send them a thank you card. Too busy to write (even though I still suggest you send a card) – you may choose to thank them mentally.

The Negative Relationships – The Toxic People

Attitudes are contagious. Be careful who you surround yourself with; ensure you are spending time with positive people who encourage and support you. One of the greatest lessons I have learned is to not take other people’s negativity personally. Their reaction to things is about what is going on for them in their mind and life and often has very little to do with you. A toxic person is someone who makes a person feel bad about themselves by talking down to them, criticizing them, or belittling them. They may tell you that you can’t do things or you’re not good enough or talented enough to be successful. Do you know where that is coming from? It comes from their own fears of you succeeding or even that fact that they are not and did not go after their own goals.

Gandhi once said, “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with dirty feet.” You get to choose whether you will respond or react. Sometimes the toxic people may be people you are related to. Often the best things to do in these cases are to change the subject of the conversation or set boundaries by expressing what you are willing to talk about and what you are not willing to talk about. You are in control of letting that messaging in or keeping it out and how it impacts you. Limit your contact with toxic people.

The Negative Environment

Somethings you can control and somethings you cannot. You want to focus on what you can control.

Focus on solutions and the next positive step. It is easy to replay negative experiences over and over in our heads like a movie – reliving every moment. Is that what you really want? Learn to let go of past hurts. They occurred in the past and they cannot be changed.

Focus on the present – it what you can control. Redirect the topic and take control of the situation.

Keep the lines of communication open. Talk about your concerns openly and ask questions to avoid any misunderstandings. Again, your imagination can run wild if you do not ask questions to ensure you understand things correctly.

Deal with issues/concerns head on. Do not avoid having important conversations that you need to have. They can fester and exploded into much bigger problems and damage morale if not tended to immediately.

Follow up with others that you work and spend time with. This “pulse check” can help you determine if everyone is getting along or there are any concerns you may not be aware of. By being aware, positive changes can create positive results. Be proactive.

Be careful not to minimize the positive. Fighting negativity is a work in progress. It is too easy to fall into the trap of getting caught up in negative thinking, gossiping with others, and creating a toxic environment if you do not pay attention to where your thoughts are at any given moment.

Empower yourself by thinking empowering thoughts. When you think positive, you are giving a boost to your mood and you will take more affirmative actions to support your goals and objectives.

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time: 12:25 min

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With Canadian Thanksgiving just around the corner, I thought it would be most valuable to talk about developing an “attitude of gratitude”. Being grateful does the need to only occur Thanksgiving. When you start to recognize what you are grateful for the more you will discover to be grateful for. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” In today’s world, if you get caught up in the media hype of wars, accidents, and bombing, you may find it difficult to find things to be grateful for. However, what you focus on expands.

Developing an attitude of gratitude is not a one-time meditation, prayer, or mindfulness practice. It is about how you think and feel about life. Research studies show that people who develop a gratitude mindset have a stronger immune system, lower blood pressure, and sleep better as well as feel more rested. These individuals tend to be more compassionate, more forgiving, and are less isolated because they are more outgoing. They tend to have a more optimistic view of life and find joy and pleasure in everything that they do.

Gratitude shifts your focus. People who are problem focus tend to complain and blame others for faults in results rather than being the solution focused. When you are solution focused, you are able to come up with new ideas and solutions to challenging situations. During times of adversity, gratitude helps you realize that you would not be who you are without the situations and circumstances that have occurred both good and not so good. You are better able to bounce back and become more resilient in situations. When you develop a shift in focus and mindset, you also shift away from the victim mentality to one of the victor. You will shift from “I have to” do something versus “I get to” or “I choose to” do something. Gratitude is not a chore it’s a privilege.

Think about all the things you “get to” do that many others do not.

Small thank yous can make a big impact. You can make a big difference by acknowledging someone and thanking them for what they have done for you. The smallest thank you can be the most memorable. When people are recognized for the things that they do their confidence grows and they are more apt to believe in their abilities and stretch beyond the current capabilities. Their work takes on a greater purpose and they feel that they are making a difference. When people hear that their work is appreciated, they tend to be motivated to work harder to hear more praise and appreciation.

Keep a journal and write down what you are grateful for. By writing down what you are grateful for you can start paying attention to the thoughts that you have been having and take note of any patterns in your thoughts. Your thoughts and feelings impact the actions you will take. Epicurus stated, “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you have you only hoped for.” Start by writing down three things every day that you are grateful for and encourage others to do the same. Gratitude is contagious.

Write a letter and reach out to others who you are grateful for. By doing this you can change someone’s world. Several years ago I sent a card to a schoolteacher that I had, she sent me a thank you card back because the card had brought her to tears is no one in her years of teaching at centre thank you for the impact that she had made the difference.

It’s important to give gratitude but also important to learn how to accept it. When someone gives you a gift of a compliment or helps you in some way, acknowledge and thank them for it. Don’t brush it off by just saying oh it’s nothing because to them it was something.

At the end of the day, like attracts like, and people who are grateful are fun to be around and tend to be happier. Why not choose to be more grateful at home, in the workplace, in your business, or organization today? You never know whose life you can change it may be your own.

Time: 10:14 min

Keywords: develop an attitude of gratitude, attitude of gratitude, mindset, gratitude, grateful heart, accepting compliments, accept thank you, accept gratitude, journaling, gratitude journal, gratitude expands

Episode 77 – Fighting Negativity

Episode 33 – Develop an Attitude of Gratitude