communication Archives - Page 4 of 7

Episode 57: Watch Your Language: The Power of Words

December 29, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Episode 57: Watch Your Language: The Power of Words

The words we use have more power than we give them credit for. We take words for granted. Several years ago I remember reading a person’s blog about a child who was scolded the Costco store while his parents were waiting in return line. The child started to get restless as many children would have. You can watch the confident child who was playful shrinking down into silence. Words can deflate and destroy or words can create confidence and empower. Words do matter.

35552684 - farmer hand planting a seed in soil

You may have heard statements throughout your childhood from teachers, parents, coaches, or even your peers. The statements good or bad you have allowed to grow -for they planted a seed. The seed you had a choice to either hold onto and play over and over in your mind or reject it. The seed only grows when you nurture it or give it attention. You may have even heard people making fun of others in derogatory ways. Even with joking, people do not always realize that they can be hurtful.

“An Old Cherokee Tale of Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’

The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’” –
Native American Legend

When we look at communication, we pay attention to the words but also to the tone and intent of what is being said. People make judgments very quickly. It is important that you choose to speak impeccably about yourself and others. There is so much power in the words that we use. I remember when the speaker sharing with me a conversation that occurred in the restroom about one of the other speakers at a conference without realizing that their microphone was on. Not only was it embarrassing for the conference organizers, it was also hurtful to the person that they were speaking about which was broadcasted to the people attending the conference. I never heard the outcome but I sure hope that a public apology occurred.

The other thing I want to remind you is to not judge others by an appearance or get caught up in gossip. If you’re upset, take the time to remove yourself from the situation if possible see you can think clearly and speak with intention. When people are upset they often say things that they later regret. You don’t want to burn bridges, you never know where someone is going in their lives which could later influence or impact the direction that you had as well. If you want others to speak well of you, you must speak well of others.

The words you use become your reality. The thoughts and feelings that you have influence the actions and words that you speak. If you say “I am not enough” and think and believe this, your actions will follow. You will not fully give of yourself because you believe you’re not enough. You’ll end up sabotaging yourself by holding back on what you’re capable of. You may even tell yourself “why bother?” If you say, you’re “not smart enough”, you will take actions to support that or look for ways to rationalize why this may be the truth. You may speak words of lack and scarcity and because that is your focus that’s what you will see in your reality. If you speak of abundance and use positive words, you will see abundance in your life and show gratitude. Remember you are planting seeds when you speak whether it is about yourself, about others or to others.

In Dr. Marshall Goldsmith book, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, he talks about Habit #5: Starting with “no”, “but”, or “however”. When he was working with a coaching client, he would charge them $20 every time they stated no, but, or however in a statement. One CEO he was working with within an hour was charged $420 but was later donated to a charity. When you are using these words with the people you work with, you are stating that they are wrong and you were right.

“For example, “That’s true, however…” (Meaning: you don’t think it’s true at all.,.) Or the particularly common opener, is “Yes, but…” (Meaning: Prepare to be contradicted.)” –Dr. Marshall Goldsmith

The statement can be frustrating to the people that you’re working with because they see it as a no-win situation.

The word “try” really means that you’re totally not committed. In the words of Yoda from Star Wars, “There is no try you either do or you do not.” When I started catching myself saying the word try I also asked myself if I was wholeheartedly in or just interested. What I learned was if I really want something to happen I need to make a choice to do something not just to dabble in it. What are you “trying” to do and wondering why it’s not working?

In conversation sometimes I’ll hear someone say, “I think this.. is possible”. You want to speak with conviction you must know and believe something to be true. I think comes across as wishy-washy not something spoken with conviction and intent.

Beware of extreme words. These are words such as always and never. Is it true that someone always does something 100% of the time? Is it true that someone never does what they’re told hundred percent of the time? The word “can’t” also be considered extreme as you either you can or you cannot. Many people focus on what they can’t do that they never can realize what they can do it they only put in the effort. They talk themselves out of even making the attempt before even doing something.

When you hear people come up with great ideas or do something outstanding, take the time to give these people credit for their ideas. Your voice and message have so much power. You never know who needs to hear those words of encouragement and how their lives can be changed because you took the time to listen for acknowledging something that they have said. The change that we wish to see the world begins with us and it begins with the power we have with the words we use. Don’t abuse the power. Use the power to build others up and help them step into the potential of food they have yet to be.

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time:13:32 min

Keywords: the power of words, power of words, build people up, speak impeccably, power of intention, tone, communication, Marshall Goldsmith, habits

Episode 50 – Being an Effective Communicator

December 6, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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[embedyt] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABZiHdyAQ-c[/embedyt]

Robyn’s “Lightening captured in a bottle that zaps you into a new way of thinking…”

Everyday communication is like mixing up chemicals. Sometimes it creates exciting discoveries… sometimes it just blows up!

Robyn Hatcher, communication expert and author, knows successful communication is the life blood of any thriving organization. Robyn’s cultivated a formula to transform weak communication skills into potent business gold.

Her 15 plus years as a professional actress and her experience as a certified Neural Linguistic Programming practitioner, give her a powerful combination of creative tools and scientific research.

Now, as owner and CEO of SpeakEtc., she delivers the brain science hacks that help business leaders command a room; galvanize a team and become a catalyst for change.

Robyn has elevated the communication skills for Fortune 500 companies and noteworthy brands, including Lifetime Television, Jones New York, AXA, UBS, Hewlett-Packard and others. Robyn’s first book, Standing Ovation Presentations (Motivational Press, 2013), contains a unique communication style system called ActorType s . and was named on Forbes.com as one of 2015’s Top 100 Coaching Books.

Robyn wants everyone to become more powerful, engaging and confident communicators.

Time: 43:23 min

Keywords: Communication, body language, effective communicator, Tone of voice, networking, networking etiquette, language, labels, podcast

How to Do More with Less on Your Next Project

December 3, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

No matter what the project is, it seems as though everyone is asking to do more with less. There seems to be increasing pressures on scarce resources and demands on time. Team members are becoming exhausted and overworked and morale and motivation of the team are going down. Is it even possible to do more with less without impacting quality?

When it comes to doing more with less, it really comes down to being efficient and productive and paying attention to the smaller details. How do we do that? We do this by examining the processes, the resources, the demands, the risks, and the timelines. No one wants to sacrifice the quality of their work as it impacts the reputation of being known for delivering the end results. If you manage a project, you know that you need to really streamline your deliverables and processes all while continuing to motivate your team and keep your stakeholders informed. You must be focused to ensure that none of the deliverables that you are juggling fall out of place.

There are several things that you can do to become more productive and do more with less:

Take on fewer projects on or prioritize deliverables. It is important to identify what is critical to a project to get the outcome desired. It is about keeping things simple in a complex system. Using smart goals to map out the plan.
Communicate with your team and your stakeholders on a regular basis. It is important to clarify responsibilities, processes, expectations, and the delivery of feedback. Everyone needs to be kept in the loop. It is also important to communicate what roles and responsibilities need to be delegated to ensure the team is focused on their strengths and what they’re going to be delivering.
Eliminate any waste by using lean thinking. Clear off your plate of any unfinished projects and determine if they’re still important. Delegate them if you need to. Eliminate any distractions so that you are completely focused on the work at hand. It is recommended that you keep a time log or journal of the time spent on deliverables. You will be surprised at where some of the time wasted actually goes. Remember to ensure that people are given the appropriate role and responsibility to carry out what needs to be done.
Brainstorm your options with your team and stakeholders. When times need to be tighter because everyone has a certain amount of money and resources to work with, you will need to get creative and innovative with your solutions. Draw on the experience and expertise of your people. They are your secret weapon.
Make effective decisions. Gather your facts, statistics, and information. Learn what your team members think and feel about the options available and gain an understanding of the emotions involved in the decision. Ask yourself if you are bottlenecking the process because you have the need to approve every detail. Can you offload some of the responsibility to your team members?
Measure and manage your deliverables and outcomes. What you measure can be managed. Keep track of time, money, and the efforts of your people. Readjust your course accordingly as you evaluate at certain milestones along the way.
Keep your team motivated. Celebrate the launch of your projects. Take time to acknowledge and praise your team members and your team’s accomplishments. You need to create a compelling vision that your team will be inspired by. They need to feel a part of the vision and that their role is meaningful and important in getting to the end result.

As you are working with your teams and stakeholders, you will be able to develop creative and innovative solutions in learning how to do more with less. In times of change, you may feel that is all you are doing. There may be times that you will be surprised by how much you can get done and have a team that is truly satisfied with the quality of their work and the efforts they put in. How are you going to do more with less on your next project?

Episode 49: Creating the Collaborative Advantage

December 1, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much”
― Helen Keller

The saying “If you can’t beat them join them.” holds true when it comes to creating the collaborative advantage. The collaborative advantage is the ability to form beneficial and rewarding relationships with other businesses and organizations. When forming a collaboration, it is important to create a relationship that has mutual benefits in which both feel like they’ve achieved a win-win toward meeting their goals. It’s not a trade-off that if I do this for you that you will do this for me that’s not true collaboration. Many partnerships are screened for their financial contribution, however in their missing the key piece in a successful collaboration-the people.

Commitment can be high in collaboration when the value is available to both parties in a joint venture or partnership that are not in direct competition but actually complement each other. There can be barriers preventing collaboration. The barriers may occur with shared values and goals as well as behaviours. Having shared values is a good thing, there are times when collaborators try to please each other and they’re afraid to call things out when something goes wrong. Behaviours that can impact the collaboration are not seeking help or asking for help when needed, having the belief that you need to solve it all yourself, and also you may face people who were unwilling to help.

Even though we’re looking for cooperation, collaboration should not be confused with teamwork. Teamwork is when you work together to meet a common goal or vision whereas collaboration is when you work together to meet your individual or organizational goals. For example, you may see a car manufacturing company collaborate with the sound system company to ensure high-quality sound systems in their vehicles. They are working together for the interests of their own organizations. In working together you are gaining new perspectives and have the ability to brainstorm creative and innovative solutions.

“As a collaborative leader, you support people in their work—you remove roadblocks and help them win.”
― Kenneth H. Blanchard

There may be times when you need to know when not collaborate with others. There is a cost to collaborating that sometimes people don’t consider resources, money, and time. Learn and forecasts your return on investment.

There are times when the collaborative advantage is more valuable than a competitive advantage. You get to expand your network and available resources. Creating the collaborative advantage requires strategic intent. It’s important to listen and understand align with the needs of each business and organization. There has to be a commitment to the partnership.

This partnership or collaboration creates accountability and you have an opportunity to learn from each other. This is paramount. It is important to have agreements in writing as to what each partner is willing to do and not do. There needs to trust that each partner is working for the best interest of working together even though they are working for their own business and organizational gain. Boundaries need to be in place. You may even consider having an exit strategy where partners have permission to withdraw from the partnership.
Business and organizational relationships are no different than personal relationships. People need to know like and trust a business or organization before they plan to do any business with it. Conflicts and misunderstandings may occur. It is important to recognize that each party may have their own opinions and it is okay to respectfully disagree. You will just need to work together in figuring out a solution.

“When people feel trusted, they’ll begin to understand they are contributors–and you’ll get great ideas and happy people.”
― Eunice Parisi-Carew

It’s important to note that when you take the time to get to know the people of the organization that you will be able to have more influence than if you would just looking at the financial advantage. As you get to know the strengths and talents of each partner, you will be able to recognize ways to leverage it to your advantage. When someone finds you relatable based on having a family or pets or a similar hobby, they may be more apt to choose you over a competitor because you show up as a person first. A collaboration that brings out the best in each partner ends up creating a competitive advantage.

Questions to Ask Yourself When Creating a Collaborative Advantage:

How will this get me closer to my goals or my organization’s goals?
What is my level of commitment to creating this collaborative advantage?
What would I like to learn from this partnership?
How will we hold each other accountable?
In what ways, can we encourage co-operation within our teams?
What are the boundaries that need to be in place?
How can this collaboration bring out the best in us?
What are the needs of my partner and how can I understand how I can help them fulfil those needs?

Who would you like to create a collaborative advantage with? Accelerate your results by collaborating with others.

Time: 09:03 min

Keywords: collaboration, collaboration advantage, cooperation, working together, collaborating with clients, sustainability, competitive advantage, accountability, creating a collaborative advantage

Episode 48 – How to Be Insanely Great as a Leader

November 29, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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[embedyt] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2NiG1Yg-58[/embedyt]

Dr. Mark Goulston

markgoulston-original Widely regarded as a “people hacker,” Dr. Goulston began his career as an interventional psychiatrist focusing on suicide and violence intervention and prevention and UCLA professor of psychiatry. He then extended his work to training FBI and police hostage negotiators and then to the corporate world and NGOs.

His “people hacking” has now extended to, “hacking genius,” and he has recently been speaking, writing and providing webinars on “Insanely Great! How to Think Like Steve Jobs.” Along with that he helps companies to see into their futures the way Jobs could. By the way, it is not that difficult, it’s just difficult to envision a different paradigm when you’re within your own paradigm. You know the saying, “When you’re a hammer, the world looks like a nail.”

Past or present companies or institutions, he has worked with or spoken to include: Harvard Business School, IBM, Mattel, Coca Cola, Toyota, Hyatt, Accenture, Ernst & Young, Sodexo, Goldman Sachs, Bank of America, Northern Trust, Northwest Mutual, YPO, UCLA, USC, University of Alabama, American Bar Association, NACD.

Including, “Just Listen,” Dr. Goulston is the author of seven books with his first book, Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior, first published in 1996 being in the top 5 self-help books at Amazon for the last seven years. His most recent book is Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life and was recently Oprah.com featured book and was nominated as an Audie Award 2016 Finalist.

He writes for Biz Journals, Harvard Business Review, Business Insider, Huffington Post, Fast Company and Psychology Today and appears widely in the media including CNN, Wall St. Journal, NY Times, Fortune and Forbes.

He serves on the Board of Advisors of Health Corps, Brainrush and Truli Media.

Dr. Goulston earned a BA from UC Berkeley, MD from Boston University School of Medicine, Post Graduate Psychiatry Residency from UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute and is a Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. He was selected as one of America’s Top Psychiatrists in 2004, 2005, 2010, 2011 by the Consumers Research Council of America.

Interview Length: 54:56 minutes

Keywords: listening, Steve Jobs, Dr. Mark Goulston, getting through to anyone, connection, intentional listening, communication, relationships, interpersonal relationships, Just Listen