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Episode 93 – Silence Your Inner Critic

May 4, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Each of us has an inner voice. Some people refer to it as the inner voice of knowing- but does it really know, especially when the negative thoughts rear their ugly heads. Isn’t bad enough you wonder what other people are saying about you or the efforts you put out? You don’t need any extra judgment as you already are your own worst critic. There are times you say things to yourself that you would not voice out loud and direct at anyone else. Why? The inner critic is not compassionate, kind, or respectful. If you wouldn’t say it to anyone else, why say such mean things to yourself. It’s not that you are wanting to get rid of the inner voice, you are managing the negative thoughts.

When you are in a negative state of mind, you will take actions to support your thoughts and feelings, ultimately, impacting the results you are getting. You need to stop the critic because it crushes your self-confidence to take essential actions required to achieve results. Think of your radio dial; you can tune into music and messaging that you choose to listen to. Many of the messages in your mind have been forged from the past and no longer serve the current situation. It may have come from criticism or advice. You may hear the voice of your mother or father commenting on something and you have hung onto to it. Now in the present something comes up and you think it must be true because someone else has said it even it does not even fit the current situation.

You want to be able to silence the inner critic, the chatter, you hear in your head. Managing the thoughts, you are having is not as difficult as you think. Your mind is flooded with over 50,000-70,000 thoughts in a day with many of them being negativity. Most of these thoughts are unconscious until you bring them into your awareness. As soon as you bring a thought into your awareness, you can make a conscious choice whether you want to keep the thought or reject it. Unfortunately, you may grab a single negative thought and play it in your head like a broken record. It does not serve you – it is time to manage your thoughts and toss those negative ones away altogether.

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
― Theodore Roosevelt

It all begins with…self-awareness.

What thoughts are you thinking? Once you can notice your thoughts in the moment, now you can change them but before you do, why are you having them, to begin with? Is your self-confidence low? Is fear coming up? Even though negative thoughts come up and their many have been moments that you tell yourself, “I am stupid.”, you need to stop and remember there also have been a time you have shined and felt on top of the world. You are not stupid – your behavior or action you took was not the right one now.

When you catch yourself saying a negative thought, STOP and take notice of it. You can say, “Cancel, cancel, cancel”. Your thoughts are powerful. Your thoughts influence the actions you are going to take. If you are in a bad mood, you may react to a situation or say things you would later regret.

REFRAME the thought into a positive thought. Positive thoughts lead to positive actions. Positive actions will get you closer to the success you are looking for. The reason people do not achieve the success they are looking for is often because the get caught up in the stories they tell themselves.

Get into a positive state of mind. When I studied the morning routines of successful people, I learned that they put themselves into a positive state. To get yourself into a positive state, you can pray or meditate, exercise, write in a gratitude journal, or read a book that gets your mind primed for the day. The morning is not the only time you can do this. You can change your state by simply thinking of a time where you felt unstoppable and you felt at the peak of success.

Your inner voice is not a bad thing…it can warn you or alert you to doing your due diligence. It is a bad thing when you allow thoughts to take root and sabotage your efforts. You need to remind yourself that you have greatness within you – everyone does. Holding back on your greatness serves no one – if you hold back – it is a tragedy. Everything in life is interconnected. If you do not fulfill your purpose, others are impeded from fulfilling theirs.

Make a choice. Your imagination can run wild if you let it. Telling you stories of disempowerment. You need to harness your thoughts and empower yourself. You can break down your stories and examine the words that you use. The word “Can’t” places limits on what you believe is possible and what you think you are capable of doing. Yes, there are somethings that you can’t do such as swim without oxygen in the depth of the sea or fly above the mountains like an eagle. There are things you can do and you are stopping yourself from doing them.

Can’t is a choice. You are choosing not to. Do you notice when you have a choice you suddenly have empowered yourself and taken control of the actions you are taking? What CAN you do? Stephen King said, “you can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” Focus on what you can do versus what you cannot.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.”
― Henry Ford

You have more power than you give yourself credit for. When you pay attention to what you are saying and how those words make you feel and the thoughts you are having, you can start taking actions that support your success rather than sabotage it.

Be Aware -Notice and Understand It.

Stop – Cancel the thought.

Reframe It.

Get into a positive state.

CHOOSE – what you are going to say and do that will empower you!

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Episode 92 – Maximize Your Strengths with Alissa Daire Nelson

May 2, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Meet Our Guest:

Alissa Daire Nelson is regularly featured on television news segments, inside major blogs and publications, and on podcasts from all over the globe.

She’s an accomplished Success Coach, Speaker, host of the Maximize Your Strengths podcast, as well as published Author of the hot new book; From Frustrated to Frickin’ Awesome: 4 Steps to Achieve the Success You’re Wired For.

But more than anything else she’s an exceedingly proud wife and mother of two, who loves helping others discover how to make their businesses and relationships thrive in harmony.

Episode 91 – The Leadership Gap with Lolly Daskal

April 27, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Meet Our Guest:

Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world.
Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies.

As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world. Based on a mix of modern philosophy, science, and nearly thirty years coaching top executives, Lolly’s perspective on leadership continues to break new ground and produce exceptional results.

Of her many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and
Management Expert by Inc. magazine.

Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others.

Lolly’s proprietary insights are the subject of her new book, The Leadership Gap:
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness, and is available for pre- order www.theleadershipgapbook.com

Episode 90 – Turn Someday into Today with Lisa Larter

April 25, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Meet Our Guest:

Lisa Larter, founder of lisalarter.com, is a Business Consultant, Social Media Strategist, and Speaker. She works with businesses to maximize their profits and scale beyond their dreams, using social media, relationship marketing, and dead-simple, eye-opening systems. She’s helped increase the visibility and profits of a wide range of clients — including retail groups, authors, realtors, brick-and-mortar businesses, shopping centers, online entrepreneurs, and, her favorite big-name advisee, Deepak Chopra. His feedback? “Lisa, you’re the best.”

Episode 89 – Coaching for Performance

April 20, 2017 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Coaching is like a magic mirror, reflecting what you are thinking, feeling and saying about everything in life. By working together, you’ll understand your own mirror and change it to become limitless.”
― Sultan Alsasi

No one becomes a high performer without confidence or support from someone who believed in them more than they believed in themselves. Who is someone you have admired or been inspired by? How have they helped you become a better performer? Coaching is one of the best strategies for achieving objectives or goals. Research shows that companies who utilized coaches had an increase in productivity and profitability, reduced complaints, improved customer services, and retained talent. Individuals who received coaching described improved work relationships, improved teamwork, greater commitment and engagement, and less conflict due to better communication. Coachees (people who are coached), stretch out of their comfort zone to achieve great results than if they had not been coached.

When people hear the word “coaching”, they tend to associate coaching with teaching or training that is sport related. There are many types of coaches. There are life coaches, business coaches, speech/vocal coaches, executive coaches, and coaches in the workplace. Not all coaching is formal. It can be done individually or with a group or team. Each coach is hired to develop a person’s skillset and ability based on what the person seeking coaching needs. The coach does not hold the agenda – the coachee does. Coaches can also help deal with conflict, difficult people and conversations, issues, and challenges.

A coaching session can be done face to face, over the phone, or online through platforms like Skype or Zoom. A coach does not have to be in your industry to know how to support you. They need to know how to ask you the right questions. A coaching session is a conversation where a coach like myself will ask you questions to hep you discover and do some reflection to come up with answers or solutions. Why? When the coachee comes up with the answers, solutions, or action plans they will be more intrinsically motivated than if the coach provides the answers, solutions, or action plans. The difference between a sports coach and this type of coach is that a sports coach is often “telling” or providing direction to a player. Whereas, the coach we are discussing in this podcast is asking questions, active listening, and acknowledge discoveries.

Any person can hire a coach if they want someone to help them work through issues/challenges, climb the corporate ladder, build a business, or accelerate the achievement of a goal. Coaches help boost productivity, performance, and effectiveness – ultimately results. To achieve the desired results, you want when working with a coach, you need to be accountable for your actions and committed to what you want to accomplish. Not only is a financial commitment with coaching, there is a commitment of your time and energy to actively participate in the coaching conversation and to follow through on actionable items.

In order to coach for performance, there must be a foundation of trust and that what is shared is confidential, otherwise, the coachee will not be open to sharing any information or discuss their thoughts or feelings. With coaching, the premise is that you already having everything inside of you to come up with the answer or solution you are seeking. The coach asks the right questions to help you develop your own conclusions. A coach may offer suggestions or advise you acting as a thinking partner or sounding board.

Coaching can help improve your performance and is not limited to this list:

Getting unstuck and challenge self-limiting beliefs
Working through a challenge, issue, or stretch goal
Accelerating results
Developing clarity around a situation, choices, and desired outcomes
Learning to create harmony or balance between work and life demands
Determining core strengths and areas of growth
Identifying resources, skills, and knowledge to obtain a goal
Brainstorm options

The world is changing rapidly. Individuals, like you, are wanting to take more control of getting the results they desire in their lives by creating a plan of action. Sometimes all it takes is to develop clarity around what a person wants to achieve and what outcome will give them.

“Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen.” – Pete Carroll

Coaching maximizes a person’s potential to become a high performer. Some people hire coaches as a corrective measure in the workplace. Coaching is most effective when it is used to develop yours or your staff member’s capabilities, sometimes you can be so close to a situation that you cannot see your options. A coach is a trusted guide helping you discover your own answers to make the decision that is best for you.

What is a stretch goal you would like to achieve? What self-limiting belief is holding you back from acting on and following through on what you know you need to do? Have you considered working with a coach?