Debra Kasowski

EPISODE 114 – Desperately Searching for Solutions

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“Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution. If you don’t have any problems, you don’t get any seeds.” Norman Vincent Peale

Do you stop pursuing your goals because you think you do not have the resources to make it a reality? This belief may be your excuse for not doing what it takes to get what you want.

Here are some questions to test your theory:

Do you know anyone who has done what you want to do?

Do you know someone who knows someone who knows someone who has done what you want to do?

Have you asked someone if the knew what to do or knew of someone who does?

Are there books, articles, or courses on the subject you are working on?

Have you “Googled It”? Type in your questions…see how many others have been asking the same question. (Side Note: please look for best practices that are evidence based)

Have you asked yourself what you need to know or do to find the solution?

You are probably thinking if I knew the answer why would I ask the question. Questions stimulate the brain to scan for answers from previous knowledge and experiences. The secret to finding solutions is getting clear on what it is you want. It is like putting a puzzle together. When you are clear in knowing what you want, you know the questions you need to ask. Even if you are not 100% sure, once you start asking you can refine your questions.

The BIG QUESTION is: What do you really need?

People? There are many people who have gone before you. There are mentors and coaches to support you in asking powerful questions for you to uncover the answers you need. There are contractors and freelancers who have the skillsets you may not have to help you. Ask questions!

Knowledge? There are libraries full of books, YouTube videos on almost every subject imaginable, and podcasts filling the airwaves with golden nuggets of information. Have you tried “Googling” your question. Try it! Word of caution…when seeking advice make sure it is credible, evidence-based, and best practices. Otherwise, you could be getting yourself into trouble.

Skills? Can figure things out? Have you given it some effort? You never know what you can do until you do it? Think about trying out a new recipe. You make it the first time. Taste good but next time you add some spices to jazz things up or add an ingredient or two. You learn as you go.

Trust Yourself. Answers can be external or they can be internal. Many of the answers you seek are within. Trouble is you may be so busy you miss the signs and signals pointing you I the right direction. Take time to ask yourself what you need to become the person who has achieve the goal. Trust your intuition about what your next steps should be. Test them out – ask questions!

What is required from you?

What do you need from others?

What resources do you need and when do you need them?

What’s missing from the big picture?

I personally find it frustrating when I suggest watching a YouTube video or testing a solution that was brainstormed and the other person is not willing to take action and discover the answer. One time I was working with someone, they were struggling with an issue, I suggested going online and checking out YouTube for a potential solution. They said they should not have to go to the internet for the answer so they didn’t bother looking. I did. I found an answer. The answer came in the form of a video they understood. They tested it out – and found the solution. If you have resources right at your finger tips or an earshot away, it is your own doing if you do not find the solution. The answer you seek could be right in front of you and you may be too stubborn to ask or search for the solution. The answer must not be that important.

I can hear you saying BUT Debra…

Get off your BUTS!!!

Do the research. Test the theories!

Take the action necessary.

Hire the coach or contractor.

Do the work!

You learn by doing and by taking action. Adjust as you go – you will figure things out. No action – nothing happens!

So, ask yourself…what do I really need?

The most successful person is not successful because the HAVE all the resources. They are successful because the know where to find them and leverage them – they are resourceful.

What resources are readily available for you to start accessing today?

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

 

EPISODE 113 – Just Ask for What You Want

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“Always ask yourself: “What will happen if I say nothing?”
― Kamand Kojouri

There are many times I have wanted to ask for something and I had held myself back. Why you ask? The reasons ranged from thinking that someone was too busy or that they would not be interested, they might laugh at me, think I was asking for too much, or thinking I had to have been long term friendship or relationship to make an ask. I learned that if I was curious and simply asked and took a genuine interest in someone they would be more than happy to help me. Sometimes the ask leads to the building of a relationship.

One of my greatest lessons of asking backfired when I asked a presenter at a real estate seminar if I could “pick his brain”. I do not recommend using this technique. Here’s what happened. He told me to hold my thought until after the break then he brought me up in front of 200 people and asked me what I did wrong. I was embarrassed and he used me as a lesson for many – I learned very quickly never to use the phrases “Can I pick your brain?” again. My ASK was – “How can I become a motivation speaker?” I was inspired watching him capture the attention of everyone in the room. They listened on the edge of their seats…I wanted to be able to deliver great value and do the same. What did I do wrong according to him? I was asking for something for nothing. He explained that I could learn through volunteer opportunities. He then asked the audience if there was anyone who knew anything about become a speaker and the path that it entailed as he did not see himself as a motivational speaker. Several people raised their hands. He told them to connect with me at the end of the session and proceeded with his talk.
It is not my approach to teaching someone a lesson but it was effective. I learned many of the steps I needed to learn and now today I speak on stages sharing my message – of empowerment for women, leadership, business, emotional intelligence, and personal development.

Another “ASK” I asked was rejected. I was in middle of planning a surprise Disney vacation and asked my boss at the time for some time off – she refused. I was disappointed and frustrated. Later that week, I went to a one-day training with my mentor, Jack Canfield. He asked us to do an exercise with a partner discussing something we were recently frustrated about the outcome. Of course, my trip was it. We were to think about how we could ask, what we needed to consider when asking, and the timing of the ask. Determined I was going on this trip, I dressed up very professionally and went in on my day off and asked again with conviction explaining how important the trip was to my family and what I was willing to do to make it happen. I still remember her sitting back in her chair saying, “What a negotiator!” Imagine if I never asked again. The answer is always no unless you ask and sometimes you need to do it again and again.

They have been other times I have talked myself out of asking saying, “What’s the point?” The point is it is important to you. Do you feel you deserve it? Do you feel you make others feel bad because you are getting what you want? Do you assume you already know the answer before asking? You could be wrong – I was!

Shortly after the manuscript was submitted for my co-authored book, GPS Your Best Life, I wanted to submit a proposal outline for my own book. I had drafted a concept – it was rudimentary. I himmed and hawed about pressing the send button to make the ask. I kept telling myself I needed a deeper relationship or at least have gone out for dinner with the publisher before I could have a book published – even though I was already getting a booked published with her. Finally, I hot the send button at two-thirty in the morning and by nine in the morning I had received an email to flush the idea out with the editor and I would have a contract. I was so excited – then the work began. You never know until you make the ask! We do not ask enough – at least not as much as we should be to get what we want. What is it going to hurt by just making the ask?
Worried about feeling foolish? Have you ever felt foolish before? Chances are you have and you are still here. The world did not end. Pay attention to how your asking, when your asking – is it the right time, know what you are asking for, and who you should be asking that will make the decision. Make sure you are in front of the decision maker! Another lesson of mine learned – another story for another day.
If you get flustered about asking, write down a basic script of what you want to say. You may not read from it word for word but you can have it at your side to ensure you do not miss important points. Looking at the points can jog your memory of the important points you wanted to stress or share.
Throw in a smile when you make your ASK. Ensure it is genuine, otherwise, the first impression may be – “Run, they want something from us!” A positive attitude and an genuine interest in others is a great way to build rapport and trust so people with want t connect or do business with you.
What ASK do you want to make? What are you waiting for? Go ahead and make the ASK! If you do not, someone else will!

“What if you find out at the end of life that you could have had all you ever wanted had you only asked for it??”
― Kate McGahan

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Episode 112 – Money Mastery with Elena Forbes

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Meet Our Guest:

Elena J. Forbes is a profit strategist she works with entrepreneurs and professionals to learn how to grow their wealth and cash flow to achieve an abundant lifestyle. She empowers clients to fully understand their numbers, eliminate money leaks and debts and create a wealth plan so they can invest in anything they want and stand out as leaders in their industries.

Elena went from being a young single mother living in low-income housing, to becoming debt-free, owning her own home as well as a cash flowing rental property, and co-owns a 7-figure business. Elena has become the go-to expert for entrepreneurs and professionals to learn her step-by-step formula to go from running a stressful business to efficiently building profit and wealth in your company and in your life.

She believes that financial empowerment is the key to having everything YOU want and no matter where you are today, you can achieve this level of wealth and cash flow success!

Episode 111 – Setting Boundaries

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“We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.”
― Henry Cloud

Boundaries are set to create clear separations between yourself and others. They are created so you can honour your needs and self respect. When you set boundaries, you are telling others what you want and what to expect. The best way to set boundaries is to do some self-reflection. Pay attention to how you feel. Do you feel stress? Resentful? Angry? Frustrated? Taken Advantage of? You need to give yourself the permission to take care of you first.

Pay attention to your own thoughts before you take notice of others. Your first step in setting boundaries may mean that you need to shut down your own negative thinking. Are you taking things personally? Do you believe that your circumstance is permanent? If so, you are stuck in a rut. You will not find a way out until you shift your thinking and realize that a persona’s response comes from their own experiences and perception. You need to discover what that is and challenge any assumptions you may be having and get some clarification. There may be a misunderstanding. Life is fluid. Good and bad circumstances are temporary. The way you choose to respond and the choices you make will determine how long you stay in that state. Choose to do nothing and the longer you will be there. Choose to take action and you will have progress.

Identify what drains you. If you are not sure whether you need to set some boundaries, consider the people and places that drain you. The places may be noisy, dirty, or cluttered. The people may be miserable, gossipers, or complainers. They complain about their spouses or partners or they speak poorly about others identifying every flaw they can find. They complain about their boss. You may have increased demands placed on you because you are the expert in a certain area. These people may even be family members that call you to see if you can run errands, after all, if you work at home you must not be doing anything. At some point, you need to stop the madness!

Know you core values. Not only do you make better decisions when you know your core values, you can set boundaries more effectively because you know what you stand for. You know what you are willing to tolerate and what you are not willing to tolerate. Use your core values as your guideposts. If someone violates one of your core values, they need to know that there is a consequence. For example, if someone cheats or steals, they may be fired from a job or have criminal charges placed on them. Your values drive your results.

Remember you cannot change others, you can only change yourself. In Dr. Henry Cloud’s book, Boundaries for Leaders, he talks about how leaders get what they allow. You can choose to respond or reactive to any given circumstance. The one thing you can do to change the way you act toward them is to provide direct honest heart to heart communication. I know some organizations do like to talk about matters of the heart, however, being heart centred is about allowing people to express themselves and have a voice.

Here’s what you can do. If you do not like how someone is treating you, you can use the communication method often taught in emotional intelligence.

When you…

I feel…

What I want…

You start to focus on facts, express how you are feeling, and set expectations for the future. People will start changing their behavior and outcomes when they understand how it impacts others. I have used this method on many occasions and it saves many relationships. People often avoid sharing how it impacts them and what their needs are because they fear how the other person will react. I want to remind you what you think and feel is important. If you do not express yourself, you may become resentful because you feel taken advantage of. Communicate what you want and need. Others will respect you for setting limitations and feel that they have the permission to do the same.

Decide what the consequences are if someone crosses the line. If someone says that they are going to deliver on something and they don’t, there needs to be some consequence. A person’s actions should be stronger than their word to demonstrate how committed they are to your wants and needs. Consequences do not have to be negative. A positive consequence can be holding someone accountable for their actions and demonstrating that you believe in their capacity to change and become a leader. The consequence of not achieving a goal can be a positive consequence that also motivates a person to put in the work required to get there.

“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Setting boundaries takes courage and practice. It gets easier over time. When people set boundaries, it creates a safe environment in which people feel comfortable to share and express themselves. By clearing communicating and setting boundaries, you will be able to be present and calm in the moment. Your quality of life also improves. You sleep better and face fewer distractions and you can separate events or circumstances from overflowing into what you are doing.

It is not “if” someone will cross your boundaries, it will be, “When?” How will you decide handle it?

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Episode 110 – Decluttering and Calming the Chaos with Sherry Borsheim

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Podcast Resources

Viewers can reach our guest at:

www.simplyproductive.com | info@simplyproductive.com

FREE Masterclass “How to Organize Your Digital Workspace and Inbox to Power Up Your Productivity, Clarity, and Profits”  bit.ly/digitalcalm

Meet Our Guest:

Sherry Borsheim, founder of Simply Productive, creator of Calm Your Office Chaos and Calm Your Home Chaos online programs.  Her organizing strategies have transformed offices, homes and lives around the globe. In her own organizing journey she’s learned that there’s no cookie-cutter, one-size fits all solution to getting organized and that organizing is not a destination, it’s a journey and here’s why…

Life transitions happen. After being laid off at her corporate job it was her life ticket to pursue her dream of launching an organizing business. In the beginning there were many new systems and processes to be set up and as her business grew and the need to be mobile, she had to update her systems to work smarter, not harder.  Sherry was already highly organized and it was time to take her skills to the next level.

She also learned that what works for her may not work for someone else. Within the first year of business it was clear that paper clutter and filing systems was the #1 issue her clients had both at work and at home. Email and computer file clutter was a close second. Sherry knew from her experience that A to Z filing systems breakdown over time, company year ends create lots of archive boxes and gathering papers for tax time is very stressful for many people. So she set out to find a better solution.

Today, Sherry is the exclusive trainer for the Paper Tiger filing system and developed a certification program of experts. She’s helped 1000’s of businesses and homeowners set up filing and archive systems so they can find files fast and transform spaces faster than you can do it yourself! She also helped people get their Inbox to zero and establish best practices for email overload, records management and time management strategies to take their performance to the next level.

Sherry’s been featured on HGTV Makeover Wish, CKNW Radio and eWomenNetwork Radio. She is in other popular publications like The Huffington Post, Style at Home, BC Business, Staples, Martha Stewart Whole Living, The Globe and Mail, Women’s Health Magazine, Office Depot and The Vancouver Sun and The National Post. Her clients include entrepreneurs, executives, working moms, and her advice, products and training have been sought after by Vancity, Earls Restaurant, CPA Canada, National Research Council, Simon Fraser University, UBC, Western Economic Diversification, Small Business BC, Curves, Grand & Toy, BC Rail, First Nations Communities, Erickson College, HUB International, Mellon Financial, and 1000’s of people globally conquering their clutter.

Sherry is the Founder and Past Chair of Professional Organizers of Canada (BC Chapter), a Certified Professional Coach, and volunteers for Dress Success and church organizations.