EPISODE 178 – Overcoming Resistance to Change

October 16, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Most of us have two lives. The life we live and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands resistance.” Steven Pressfield

The thought of change is uncomfortable for many people. Change represents uncertainty. People are concerned about how a change will impact them. There is an underlying fear that the change will be “bad”. Is it natural for you to resist change? Resistance can make perfect sense for some people. They feel resistance is that “gut check” that maybe things are not as good as they appear. It is a matter of perception. The funny thing is…

People tend to resist change even when it is beneficial to them. Why? We are creatures of habit. We will do what makes us feel good and secure rather than what might be best for us. Change requires conscious action which means EFFORT. Is it that you may need to put in some work?

There are many reasons why YOU may be resisting change:

Lack understanding or lack of clarity about the need for change
Fear of the unknown
Fear of Failure or What Others Will Say
Lack Competence
Not competent
Low Trust – Change is not managed competently.
Temporary – “just a fad”
Not consulted for your opinion or expertise
Poor Communication
Exhaustion – Overworked
Change in Status Quo
Change in Routine
Benefits/rewards are not seen

Are you resisting change right now? Do any of these relate to you?

If you are helping people overcome resistance to change, do the following:

Be Clear on What Change is Taking Place
Align with Your Goals
Determine the Impact of the Change and Resisting the Change
Set a Communication Strategy – it is better to overcommunicate versus under communicate
Provide Effective Training (if required)
Identify and Share Your Support Structure or Resources
Measure and Adjust as You Move Through Change

Change is important and a necessary part of life. It represents progress and growth. Change brings new possibilities and problems.

The opposite of “change” is acceptance. The beauty of life is that it is unpredictable and uncertain. One thing I know for sure is that everything is temporary and nothing is permanent. Everything changes. We need to learn to accept things as they happen and only focus on what is in our control. Do not judge. As soon as you start to judge, you lose out on opportunity.

Acceptance does not mean you are conforming and saying, “It is what it is.” Or settling for average. You can choose to let go of things that are not in your control. There are many times in our lives we think things should be a certain way and they are not. You can fail to accept reality or you can fight it. You cannot change situations by fighting them.

Carl Jung once said, “What you resist, persists.”

Several years ago, I remember my boss telling me I needed to get more experience with managing people. It was not about building and nurturing relationships as it was dealing with and managing conflict. No sooner that the day after I inked a SMART goal did conflict come fast and furious – 3 incidents in fact. They were uncomfortable I wanted to avoid them. However, I knew I needed to face them head on, otherwise, the heat of the emotions would get high. Sometimes you may not understand change, ask questions and be curious about the impact on you, your situation, or environment. Learn what you can about the emotions involved, Any resistance faced with help you understand why some people get further ahead than others, Stubbornness can cause missed opportunities!

What are you resisting in your life right now?

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get my just release FREE e-book about the 21 Habits High Achievers Kick to Achieve Success. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com

EPISODE 177 – Be the Hero of Your Own Story

October 9, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.” – Joseph Campbell

Have you ever wondered about what it takes to be considered a hero or heroine? I am not talking about dressing up for Halloween or the need to don a mask or cape. What does being a hero or heroine represent to you? For me, when I think of a hero, I think qualities and characteristics of courage, confidence, speaking with conviction about a cause, and someone who rises up to the occasion to be their best self no matter what the cost.

Heroes are not just the people you see featured as sports stars on the news or celebrities in the movies. Heroes do things to change the world. You do not need to change the “whole” world to be a hero. You can change one person’s world for a moment and be a hero. You can even be a hero in everyday activities. You can help someone balancing many bags or parcels cross the street so they do not drop things. You can put extra money in a meter so someone doesn’t get a parking ticket. You can bring a cup of tea or coffee to someone you are meeting up with or pick up the tab of the person behind you at the drive-through. I am certain you can come up with more ideas. A hero knows you need a network of people or a tribe with resources to make an impact. Share your ideas.

Heroes inspire us by example. We are in “awe” of their actions and decisions. They connect with us on an emotional level. What is it about them that creates an “awe” factor? The AWE often comes from:

Accomplishments and accolades
Placing their lives in danger for us
Being courageous
Defending and protecting
Willingness to step up and act
Concern for others in need

You can be an everyday hero or heroine. Learn from your heroes or heroines. What are their successes? Failures? Be inspired by their efforts and learn how they stayed strong in front of challenges. Be prepared to sacrifice and put others needs in front of your own. Many Moms and Dads out there are doing that every day providing for their families. Share your ideas and dreams with others. There are opportunities to be a hero or heroine all around you.

You can get started today by letting go of any ego. Focus on what you need to do rather than receiving praise. Plan your actions around being the change you wish to see. Rather than wait for others to make a positive change, you can initiate it. Don’t be afraid to ask someone if they need your help. They might not be asking because they feel they are imposing.

Know your purpose. Share your vision and make thing happen! You are the change – make it great.

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” – Christopher Reeve

EPISODE 176 – Fear, Success, and Sabotage

October 1, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“The ego mind both professes its desire for love and does everything possible to repel it, or if it gets here anyway, to sabotage it. That is why dealing with issues like control, anger, and neediness is the most important work in preparing ourselves for love.”

– Marianne Williamson

Have you ever felt a deep passion for what you do and why you do it? A passion that the thought of not doing it brings you to tears. Knowing your purpose in life is one of the most amazing experiences in your life. Yet it is easy to get detoured away from your true calling. The lure can be well-intended individuals in your life who think they know what is best for you. They are the ones who want you to play safe and stay small because of their own fears and insecurities. It is bad enough we have our own self-doubts we do not need others to confirm those beliefs to be true. These people do not want to see you fail; they want you to play safe for, “What if you fail? Will you be okay?”

What is actually happening is that they are fearful of their own potential failures. They are mirroring this onto you. They are afraid to take chances and your courageousness scares them. You look bold and aware, and fearless. They believe they cannot measure up to you. They get scared, “How can you possibly grow, stretch and reach for your greatness without me?” They start to sabotage your progress with neediness, control, or even anger. They need your attention on them, not on your goals. There is a shift that happens when they realize you are going to achieve your goals and you’re not afraid to fail along the way. You are confident and reassured. Do not let the fears of others dictate your actions.

You have fears, you just don’t allow FEARS to dictate your reality. When you operate from a place of fear, you get anxious, scared, and worry about things. Your imagination takes off. Your mind does not focus on the rewards and the great things that are going to happen to you. No! You think about all the worst-case scenarios. Things that usually never happen. Fear and love cannot exist together. When you are in a state of fear, you do not act or behave the same as you do from a state of LOVE. Love is trusting. It focuses on positive outcomes, whereas, fear spirals into a world of negativity and self-destruction. Choose love.

You can sabotage yourself when you start comparing yourself to others – wanting and desiring what another person has. You never think you are good enough, smart enough, deserving enough but why? You see one moment in time and envy’s ugly head appears. I bet you would not want to wipe out all your memories to live in another person’s shoes or lifetime.

Regret is worse than failing. I often think about all the things I want to achieve in my lifetime. I think of not doing what I am doing and it brings me to tears. When I am eighty years old, I do not want to have regrets saying, “I wish I would have… or If I only…or I should have…” This focus of energy is unproductive. Keep your focus on the goal or dream in front of you. If you feel overwhelmed, think of all the small steps you can take to get closer to your goals and dreams.

Challenge yourself to become better than yesterday. Look for ways you can constantly improve. Take risks. Move forward. Maintain a positive attitude and do not allow yourself to give up!

If you are passionate about something and it makes the world a better place to be, by all means, pursue it! Go after it. The world needs more of it. Imagine if everyone was focused on living out their purpose and giving their best. Wow! We would be amazed.

Are you allowing others to sabotage you or are you doing that job yourself?

Albert Einstein said, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

What are you going to do differently?

EPISODE 175 – Success Is Not an Accident

September 25, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“If there is anything in your life that is not the way you want it to be, you and only you are responsible for changing it. You must believe that it is up to you to create solutions to the challenges of life. Whether they are big or small, you’re still responsible. Each time you give an excuse, you diminish your respect, your credibility, and your integrity. Each time you make an excuse, you reinforce your propensity to make even more excuses in the future, and excuse making becomes a habit.” – Tommy Newberry

What is your definition of success? Some people define success with money and power, whereas others focus on health or relationships. The definition of success is personal. It is more than just a goal or dream. It is a way of being and doing. Success is not about perfection or having the most things. Success is whatever you believe it to be – it is a state of mind.

To achieve the success, you hold in your mind, you will have to set yourself up for success by working on yourself and developing success habits. When you develop success habits, you can create opportunities and you can capitalize on them. One of the most common self-limiting beliefs regarding success is that “Success is temporary” or “gifted an opportunity, bestowed a privilege they would not normally get, or that they were in the right place and the right time. Another group of people may say, success comes down to the amount of effort you put in which will equate to the result you get in return. At the end of the day, it comes down to being intentional with your choices. The choices you make today will impact your outcomes for better or worse.

Too many people would rather hold onto the ordinary or stay in their comfort zones than stretch and grow. It is safe. They worry about what others will say or do. You may hesitate to follow through on your passions because if you take lead, you may become a target. A target in the sense that people may talk about you or want to sabotage your success because of their own fears. What others believe show not matter to you; they are dealing

Good things don’t last.” People fear that whatever blessing or gift they receive that it will be fleeting.

Every person who encounters a successful person has a theory about what has made them a success. Some people will tell you that they have created their own luck, they have been with their own thoughts, feelings, and triggers. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You must do the things you think you cannot do.” Trust that everything with work out exactly how it is meant to be.

To achieve the success you desire, you must prepare and plan for your day.

Save time and energy on your decision making. Steve Jobs wore the same style T-shirt and jeans every day. He did this to reduce decision fatigue. You can reduce some of the decisions you face in your day.

Establish a Routine. Establish a consistent morning or nightly routine involving: meditation, prayer, journaling, and visualization.

Plan Ahead for the Next Day. Gather the things you need for the next day. Have everything ready. Lay your clothing out. Pack a lunch and snacks if required. Make sure your vehicle is filled with gas. Plan your errands to save time and money.

Set Your Priorities. Use a system to set aside projects that are not a high priority. Set yourself with success! Identify what is most important. Block time to work on what matters most. Set aside the time you need to catch someone on the act. Prioritize your workload. Take time to focus what is most.

Decide to Dress for Success. Many people get comfortable with their clothing and appearance. Dress for how you want to be seen and viewed in the world. Whether we like it or not, people make judgments and first impressions before we even say hello! Make it count!

Make Your Bed. If you do nothing else and you have made your bed, then you have been productive.

Track Your Expenses and/or Where Your Time is Spent. When you pay attention to where your resources are used, you can start being mindful of how you spend your money or time.

There are many more success habits that step you up to be the best version of yourself.

What are your habits of success? Comment below.

EPISODE 174 – Repetition Leads to Mastery

September 21, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.” Earl Nightingale

Success and failure are both habits. Ninety-seven percent of what we do is by spontaneous habit. People can get frustrated with repeating the same practices over and over. They may get bored. They may think there is no room for spontaneity. Their minds do not excited after repeated exposure to content or activity yet repetition is a necessity. Repetition is the mother of skill which leads to mastery.

If you want to develop success habits, you must repeat, practice, and develop your skills and a new way of thinking to develop new neuropathways in the brain. If you don’t practice, you will never master anything. Practice involves deliberate repetition.

What Does Repetition Do?

Repetition helps you master new skills and develop your abilities. You will improve in your speed and your confidence will increase. You strengthen connections in your brain. Repetition emphasizes key points. It helps you transition a skill from the conscious to the subconscious mind. Think of the first time you drove a car. Your focus and concentration were very deliberate in how you place your hands on the wheel, shoulder checked, or stepped on the gas. After years of driving, you probably do not give it much thought anymore. When you first start out doing things, they make seem awkward and uneasy but as you practice and rehearse – everything becomes easier. Repetition solidifies information in order to keep it in your memory for recall when you need it. Over time like an athlete, you will develop an intuitive understanding. A keen ability to feel how you are performing on any given day and what you need to do to sharpen your skills.

“An action by itself is insignificant but an action repeated every day is life-changing.”
― Avina Celeste

How Do You Get Passed Boredom?

Boredom can result from feeling empty, not challenged, limited attention span, or a lack of interest in activities around you. Your boredom may be attributed to taking things in life for granted. You need more. You want more. Boredom can be a wake-up call that you need to shake things up.

When things get routine and you get bored, your dopamine levels drop. Dopamine is a chemical messenger in the brain that increases when we are excited about and anticipates new situations. We crave excitement to increase this chemical in our brains.

Explore Your Boredom. Why are you bored? What can you do to increase excitement? Expand your learning on a subject? Can you make a game out of your repetition? Are you procrastinating from getting things done? Are you lacking motivation or inspiration to take consistent action? Stop over thinking about all the reasons you may be bored. Don’t force yourself to do something. Find a way to spice up your routine and energize the repetition involved. Challenge yourself to do new things – take up a new hobby. Travel – explore new lands and cultures. Expand your way of thinking. Sometimes it is best to allow yourself to be bored. Learning how to be versus “do” can be a good thing. Write in a journal and express your thoughts and share your story. The same things that raise your vibration will decrease your boredom.

You can continue on your path to mastery through practice and repetition. You expand your level of knowledge by finding YouTube videos, articles, podcasts, and books to stimulate your brain and have you asking more questions on the subject you what to master. You will be increasing your dopamine levels and start getting excited about your path to mastery.

“Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex.” – Norman Vincent Peale

What success habit are you wanting master right now?