Debra Kasowski

Tap Into Your Authentic Power

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“Authentic power is building something inside you that you cannot lose and that no one can take from you.”

GARY ZUKAV

I had the pleasure of spending the day with my son, helping him move into his dorm room, and getting those extra items (snacks and drinks) to make his new space feel like home. Times of transition…I know he will be successful in whatever he chooses. I only ask myself, where has the time gone.

As I sit at my AirBnb, I am reflecting on my day. I was flipping through channels and an episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show from 2000 with Gary Zukav caught my attention. The show was about how you can get your power back. There are events in our lives that can sideswipe us or give us a whisper of warning to pay attention to. Gary Zukav was talking about how people strive for perfection, acquire material things, or accomplishments, in order, to manipulate the perception of others to like them or see them in a certain light. There is nothing wrong with having nice things for your own pleasure or doing things to discover what you are capable of. It is when you pursue these things in hopes that others will see you in a particular way that you fall out of alignment with who you are. The difference lies in “who you are being” not “what you are obtaining or accomplishing”. It is not the bigger house, the fancy car, or any other flashy toys that define who you are.

Stop and ask yourself, “Why do I choose what I am doing (competitions, fancy cars, or retail therapy)? Am I doing this to fill a void (feeling of inadequacy, unloved)? A need to feel worthy? To look like I have it all together? To prove it to others who have wronged you? To look good? Explore your responses they will help you answer the next question.

The ultimate question is, “How do you view yourself in relationship to the world?” The belief you choose to hold will drive your intentions and actions and lead to your results.

There are 4 characteristics that define someone who has authentic power:

  1. Humbleness – A person who is humble sees people around them as friends and knows that everyone in life faces difficulties and challenges. Why would you abandon someone who only longs for the same thing – to be loved, valued, and acceptance.
  2. Forgiveness – to forgive for not other reason that release the burden on yourself; forgiveness is for you more than the other person.
  3. Clarity – to understand that every experience is suited for you
  4. Love – to realize that every person who cries hurts. A connection to the human spirit.

Authentic power is the ability to go within – to experience the emotions and to make choices from within – intentionally moment to moment.

Are you ready to step into your authentic power? No one can take this away from you. Everyone has access to this power!

It starts with one choice.

How Comfortable Are You With Uncertainty?

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“Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible”

MANDY HALE

We face uncertainty every day when we crawl out of bed. We tend to have a ritual of habits that give us comfort from going to the bathroom, brushing our teeth, and washing our face. These rituals are predictable; we go into automatic and get those things done. Uncertainty brings about anxiety and stress when fear arises around whether we can handle a situation that is not predictable or familiar to us.

There lies an opportunity to trust ourselves. Trust the intention and the effort put into achieving the desired outcome. Even though all the efforts may be in, there can be a wait – on other people, processes, or actions. Trust requires patience. Patience is a skill set that needs to be practiced. To be patient is to accept that there may be delays or unexpected events that do not bring an immediate result.

When you can embrace the uncertainty of the outcome, you can allow yourself to trust that everything is falling into the right place at the right time. I remember when I was writing my second book, The Entrepreneurial Mom’s Guide to Growing a Business, Raising a Family, and Creating a Life You Love, I was focused on meeting deadlines; I grew impatient with myself at times. My publisher said, “Debra, a book is always ready when it is ready.” Those words have stuck by me for many other times in my life. I could attempt to rush and force things to happen and no matter how much I did, those things still unfolded at their own times. Now, I have to simply remind myself, “It will be ready when it is ready and not a second more.” Why not take a step back and watch how things unfold? You may be amazed to witness the people, place, signs, and things that fall into place. There are no coincidences – only discoveries of pure serendipity.

The best part about uncertainty is there is no certainty. Nothing is definite and everything is possible.

Uncertainty can be a blessing for you to make possible what you want to see!

Believe it. Create Your Own Certainty – Go Ahead – Make It Possible.

Allow and Just Breathe.

Are You Leading and Showing the Way?

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“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.”

John C. MAxwell

Leadership is a responsibility. Choosing to be and calling oneself a leader is a privilege and should not be taken lightly. You are accountable for providing the right tools and processes, hiring the right people that align with personal/professional values, and their development to ensure success in their role and livelihood.

KNOWS THE WAY. A leader holds a vision and knows the way. The decisions made and the actions taken – impact the greater whole of those they serve. The individuals want to trust that you will lead them toward the vision.

GOES THE WAY. There are some leaders who only lead from the front whereas others – lead from behind. I prefer to lead alongside my people to understand their struggles, hopes, dreams, and motivation. By gaining an appreciation and understanding for what they do, I can better troubleshoot, encourage, provide wisdom and resources. I go WITH the people I serve.

SHOWS THE WAY. You can show the way by leading by example of what you want and expect to see. Encourage open discussions, as the individuals you work with will provide insight along the way to support your decisions and take actions based on what is for the greater good and vision.

How good of a leader you become is determined by the experiences you are exposed to and the conversations you engage in with the individuals you lead.

Don’t Let Your Dreams Turn to Dust

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“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.“

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Do you fear taking the step towards what you dream about? The magic comes from taking the first step. It’s about being brave and bold when others would rather retreat for fear of failure and even success. I remember reading “The Dream Giver” a modern-day parable by Bruce Wilkinson years ago when a Nobody named Ordinary who ventures off from the “Land of Familiar” to become a “Somebody”. The young boy realizes that there is no limits in what you are able to accomplish when you choose to pursue your dreams.

“Before he could stop himself, Ordinary started talking about the Dream Giver, and about his Big Dream. “I was made to be a Somebody and achieve Great Things!” he said. And then he told his Father the Name of his Dream. As he spoke, his voice trembled. He was sure that his Father would laugh or call him a fool.

 But his Father didn’t. “I’m not surprised to hear you say these things,” he said.

 “You’re not?” said Ordinary.

 “No,” his Father said. “You’ve had that Dream ever since you were little. Don’t you remember? You used to build that same dream with sticks and mud in front of this very house.”

 Then Ordinary did remember. He’d always had his Dream! It was what he’d always wanted to do, and what he’d always thought he’d be good at doing. His eyes filled with tears. “Father,” he said, “I think I was born to do this.”

 Ordinary and his Father sat together quietly. His Father seemed to be remembering something, too. After a while he asked, “When you woke up to your Big Dream, Son,

did you happen to find…a feather?”

 Ordinary was shocked. “How did you know?” he asked.

“A long time ago, I woke up to a Dream, too,” his Father said. “And it came with a long white feather. It was a wonderful Dream. I kept the feather on my windowsill while I waited for a chance to pursue it. I waited and waited. But it never seemed possible… One day I noticed the feather had turned to dust.”

Of all the sad words Ordinary had ever heard, these were the saddest.

BRUCE WILKINSON, The Dream Giver

It can get frustrating as not everyone may understand your dream or what you feel called to do. There will be people who challenge you and doubt you. Know this in advance. Thank them for sharing their concern or advice. Ask them if they have followed through on what they feel that they needed to do. Those people who have followed through on their calling will not be the ones challenging you. Be mindful of who you seek advice from. Trust that the dream you were given to pursue was meant for you. Notice that not everyone was given the same dream or purpose.

Don’t let your feather turn to dust.

Be Brave. Be Bold.

Are You Living in the Moment?

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“Ichigo Ichie”

-a saying translated to express the understanding of the importance of living in the moment

“This time only.”

“Once, a meeting” and also as

“In this moment, an opportunity.”

“…each meeting, everything we experience, is a unique treasure that will never be repeated in the same way again. So if we let it slip away without enjoying it, the moment will be lost forever. ”

-Hector Gracia and Francesc Miralles

JAPANESE SAYING

There is a Japanese saying that has captured my attention, “Ichigo Ichie”. I was intrigued as I heard it and said it out loud. If I were to translate it from the hearing of it I would say, “pay attention”. I decided to do some research and learn about this clever saying. The basics of what I have discovered are: don’t postpone special moments – they are a once in a lifetime opportunity; live every day as it is going to only happen once – unrepeatable; slow down and be mindful of the moments, there are no coincidences – keep track of the signs they are the golden thread of your reality; celebrate life – every day can be an experience; and, be a hunter and gatherer of special moments.

There is an opportunity for something new to emerge from you. If you do not like the results you are currently experiencing in your life, you have the opportunity many times over to reinvent yourself to live life fully at this moment – it will not come again. Introduce yourself to new people, places, and things. Learn new skills. Become who you see yourself to be. Be your extraordinary.

Imagine if we each greeted and talked to one another, treating it as “this time only” or “unrepeatable”, how would you express yourself or what would you do? In what ways, could we acknowledge and appreciate the people around us – not what they do for us – instead, for who they are and how they show up in this world?

What will you do today to make it special?

Ichigo Ichie. Pay attention for this moment will not come again.

– EL (thanks for the reminder)