Debra Kasowski

Dabble, Dribble, and Discipline?

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Mobile education in the car or iPod is the way to go especially if you are on the go. When I listen to my training and development audios, I am always triggered with new ideas and ways to grow my business. The best part is I get to share it with you. Knowledge is meant to be shared and if I can help you live a richer life from the inside out, I have met the challenge. 

You may have been in business for a while or you are wanting to improve your life in some shape or form. Some days are easier than others whereas others may be a struggle. Let me ask you this then – Are you dabbling, dribbling, or disciplined to get what you want done? You are probably saying to yourself, now what is she talking about? Dabbling is something you to once in a while when it is convenient, when you have spare time (and everyone has lots of this), or you are trying something new for maybe the first or second time. Dribbling, on the other hand, is when you are envious of another person’s goals and achievements. The person you are admiring appears to be an overnight success! In desperation, you may even say to yourself, “Why can’t things like this happen for me?” Lady luck or chance – not likely. Would you believe discipline and dedication? Discipline and dedication to a goal demonstrates effort and leads to achievement. Being discipline means that you have to sacrifice some immediate desires for your futures goals. This essentially means turning down good for GREAT!!! 

Do you know what it takes to become what you aspire to be, do, or have? Do you know someone who has reached the pinnacle of the mountain you are climbing? What advice would they give you if they were to do it all over again or where you should begin?

Whether you are dabbling or dribbling (which I do not recommend – you may discount where you have come and who you are – ONLY use as fuel for your desires if you are clear on what it is YOU want for YOU), I recommend that you go after your goals with determination, discipline, and dedication. Why? Because it is important to YOU and YOU matter! You are here to make a difference!

Are You in it for the Long Haul?

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Messengers are everywhere. There are people who may give you warnings, messages, and lessons. Sometimes people appear in your life to remind you of the lessons you have learned. I often hear, “Well, that is just common sense.” If it is common sense why are we not doing it? If you are in business, are you in it for the long haul?…then you need to find the PAUSE button once in a while.

This past weekend, I was at one of our monthly Canadian Association of Professional Speakers (CAPS) meetings and I had the pleasure of hearing Patricia Katz (www.patkatz.com) speak to our group. She was talking about business longevity and how you must not only hone your skills and know the basics of running a business but how you need to have your purpose right in front of you and know WHY you are doing what you are doing. She asked thought provoking questions like, “How do you want to be when you come home at the end of the day?” and “How do you wish to show up in the world?” You may even notice when you ask someone how are they doing as they are in the midst of running out the door – “Busy!” Hopefully they are busy doing what they love instead of a bunch of non-meaningful tasks that do not align with their goals and ambition.

Patricia provided an excellent example and learning opportunity for all of us to participate in. Do you remember what it was like to pump yourself up on the swings so you could reach a nice height and feel the breeze against your face? Imagine you are pumping really fast. Pump, pump, pump…faster, faster, and faster. Do you think you will go anywhere? Probably, no air time. Now try to pump and glide, pump and glide, pump and glide. See the difference. When you have the opportunity to PAUSE or take a break there is a time for renewal and the same is true for your business or your life. If you do not renew, you go no where fast and when you renew – you have a momentum and an ease to what you do. You are refreshed and you are able to continue and reach higher heights. You are better able to as Patricia says, “Bring who you are to all that you do.” 

How do you PAUSE & RENEW?

Here are 5 ways you are renew:

  • Read a book 10-15 minutes before going to bed.
  • Go for a 30 minute walk in the morning.
  • Take a bubble bath.
  • Listen to your favorite music.
  • Paint or draw – allow your creativity to shine!

When you look after YOU, you are better able to serve others around you…so take time to PAUSE!

Are You Hearing Yourself?

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Communication is very exciting especially when you get to do the talking. It can be even more exciting when you are a captive listener. A few weeks ago a group of friends were out for lunch and we were talking about different plans we had for our businesses and vacations. During a conversation, one of my friends kept saying, “If this happens, I will…” Do you hear the pause – the hesitation – the doubt? I asked him if he had just heard what he was saying. “Yes, if this happens, I will…” Listen a little closer – what do you hear? IF!!! How about WHEN?

Our conversations are so natural and routine sometimes I think many people do not hear themselves speak and the words they are use. Now, instead of “if”, can you hear the difference when I say, “When this happens, I will…”? There is hope, optimism, and a number of ideas that were ignited from changing a single word or phrase. There may be many other words or phrases that may trigger the sense of doubt and hopelessness.

Some of them are:

I can’t ———————>  I can

Maybe——————–> Definitely or Absolutely

Someday —————-> Near future or Very soon

I am just —————–> I am

They make me think of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. He waltz around in gloom looking at the downside of life when everyone around him is enjoying ample amounts of sticky honey or bouncing around on his tail.

What words or phrases come to your mind? Take some time to be a great listener and you will see how the words people use make a difference. Listen how you talk to yourself when you get ready for the day or you are driving your car. Do you see the power of your words? When you change your words, your energy changes and so do your emotions and feelings. Choose words that are more affirmative and optimistic. Instead of wishing and hoping things will turn out well – anticipate that they will turn out great!!!

Are You Unravelling at the Seams?

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I love how life shows us our lessons or reflects past lessons as a reminder. Oh my goodness! My daughter wanted to learn how to knit so we went to the local craft store and checked out all the books on knitting and started to look at all the crochet books as well. I do not know how to knit whatsoever, however, I do know a few people who could possibly teach her. I have crocheted a scarf at one time so I suggested that she start with crochet so I could assist her. She was good with that suggestion.

When we came home she pulled everything out, she was ready determined to make a scarf. Did I tell you she did not know how to crochet yet? Well, I explained that you must learn the basic stitches before she could make the scarf. We pulled out the book and looked at the pictures. I made a slip knot and showed her the basic chain stitch. Now it was her turn…I am not sure what she was trying to do but it looked like she was wrapping yarn around the hook so I asked her to try again. She was frustrated after 2-3 tries and went off to her room. She was not going to crochet and that was it. My daughter was unravelling!!!

I gave her a few minutes of breathing time and reminded her of when she started looming – how she was frustrated because she had skipped a loom and now there was a hole in her pattern or how she could not even get started. But now she could make leg warmers (Yes! They are Back from the 80’s) or a scarf. It took practice and some trial and error. I told her I was leaving her with the yarn and hook and that she could stay in her room a while longer until she figured it out on her own. About 10 minutes later, she emerged with a Cheshire grin and a twinkle in her eyes and a chain stitch, now she was ready to learn the next stitch. She looked at me and said, “Mom, I hate it when you are right.” Savour those moments – the life lesson learned about not giving up and unrealistic expectations and many more.

Have you ever tried something and got “unravelled at the seams”? I am sure many of us have. How many times did you try again? Did you learn something from the errors so you could get it right the next time? Look back at your successes. Think about when you learned how to ride a bike or walk. You may have tumbled a couple times or even skinned at knee but you eventually got up and tried again until you met mastery.

This year, my mission is to help women reach their mastery – maximize the potential that may lie dormant within. Here are some simple things you can do to get start on reaching your mastery:

·    Identify one area or task you would like to improve in the next 30 days.

·    Write down what you want to achieve. When you ink your desires, you are also making a mental note and reminder of what you wish to achieve. You are making it known to the world what you want to achieve.

·    Explore what resources or people you need to help you reach your goal. Do you need money, to do some research, clothing, supplies, education, books, or an accountability partner? Remember, YouTube is a great resource! My daughter watched a how to crochet YouTube video and shouted, “Now I get it!” I want everything to fall into place like that for you.

·    Make a plan of action. Print off a free calendar template from www.calendarlabs.com or www.vertex42.com or take a lined piece of paper and on the left hand side going down line by line – number from 1-30. Next I want you to write down one task you will do each day and remember it does not have to be a big task or take tons of your time. I can already hear some of you saying, “Will this take a lot of time?” The answer is no. For example, if you are learning to crochet, you might buy the supplies one day, look at the how to book for instruction another day, and make a slip knot the next day. By the end of 30 days, you may have a dish cloth or even a scarf. Maybe your goal is to declutter your office – one day could be sorting papers into piles or shredding papers, another day could be making file folders for your papers, and the next could be donating books you have not looked at in the past year. Do you see what I am say? Keep it simple, step by step, consistent.

·    Take action, learn from mistakes, and move forward. You need to take consistent action to get results. Mistakes happen; rarely do people get it right on the first try and if you do – be pleasantly surprised!

Think of Thomas Edison – imagine if he would have given up after one or two tries? Either it would be pretty dark around here or someone else who is more persistent would have succeeded. Which to you want to be – the person who gives up or the one who is persistent and who eventually gets to where they want to go?

 

Is It Better to Be Generous or Be an Over-Giver?

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In the December 2011 issue of Oprah, there was an article called Confessions of an Over-Giver written by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Love, and Pray. Yes – now famous because of her book and the blockbuster movie of her book. In the article, she talks about how her new found fame also lead to new found wealth. Now who would not want that?Pretty sweet I would say. She states that she has always been generous and a giver but this new found wealth also allowed her to give EVEN more! Elizabeth helped her friends get out of credit card debt, helped them get caught up on their mortgages, helped fund big dream projects, and even bought them houses. In the process, she had so much fun, Elizabeth described it as a “drug-like pleasure.” However, she lost some of the friends she blessed. Not because of money but Elizabeth goes on to say that she robbed some of those friends of important life lessons. What a great article to spur on reflection!

It makes me think of those lottery winners, you know the ones who win big bucks and then a year later are either in the same position they were at or maybe even worse. Why is that? Poor planning you may say. Unsure what to do with what they have and unsure of how to make it bear more fruit. What happens to these people? Do they suddenly kick back on the sofa and say life is sweet I no longer have to do anything?

 

  What happens to their drive or motivation to improve their lives? What happens to their creativity thinking when trying to make things work out in their relationships, businesses, or jobs? What happens to their donation of time, service, or talents? Don’t get me wrong. Do I like what money can do for me? You bet. Do I share what I have yes.  Yes, I do think it is important to give! Do I over-give? Yes, I have caught myself too.

In the Spirit of Christmas Shoebox Campaign that I spearhead with my husband, we have been approached by many to give more and do more. There are many lessons learned in the simplicity of recreating Christmas morning by feeding a school a pancake breakfast and providing each child a gift of a shoebox. Simple gifts can mean big things!!! This year we gave out 1234 shoe boxes. Children were most excited about toothpaste and deodorant something many of us may take for granted.

The greatest gift was given back to us was when a 9 year old autistic boy who had never smiled for his teacher’s aid or showed any human contact (like a hug or handshake) showed Santa his beautiful Christmas socks and gave him a hug and smiled. The teacher’s aid stood in tears as she captured the picture for his mother who did not have a picture of him smiling – not even with Santa. My eyes filled with tears as this precious little boy shared his smile. This Christmas that mother was going to receive a picture of her baby boy smiling with Santa. You can give but the best part of giving is receiving the simple gifts in return. Yes, could we do more? Sure. But I think everyone needs to step up and make a difference in their own way and be generous! You could change a life and it could be yours.

Are you going to be generous with the things that matter most? Money is a vehicle to do it. You must determine how much is too much! Give wisely! As Elizabeth Gilbert concluded, give until it helps!