Debra Kasowski

7 Ways Women Sabotage Their Success

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Courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/freedigitalphotos.net

The whispers of women are getting louder as they start to speak their truth . Yet many women entrepreneurs are holding themselves back by sabotaging their journey to success. More and more women need to start speaking up and speaking their truth about what they want to achieve in their lives instead of hiding behind some of the excuses we tell ourselves as to why we cannot have the success we want.

In order to become what you say you want, you need to stop sabotaging your success and staking your claim for what you believe in and why.

Are you truly living up to the potential and life you see for yourself?

Do you want to know if you may be sabotaging the very thing you say you want the most? SUCCESS!!!

Take into consideration the following, are you:

1.  Thinking small. Do you stretch out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself to try new things? Do you dream of what is possible or do you think everything is good just the way it is and avoid change? Thinking small is narrow focused and limits the endless opportunities and possibilities that exist when you try new things. The world has many opportunities for us to seize! Shift your thinking and start dreaming of what would be possible if you had no limitations – no lack of money, time, or resources. Imagine an abundant world. What is possible for you?

2.  Constantly seek approval from others. Do you hold yourself back by trying to gain approval from other people? Do you prevent yourself from moving forward until you achieve a consensus? Waiting for others to side with your choice and opinion can sometimes be difficult. Other people will have their own opinions and that is alright. What matters is what your expectations are and will you be satisfied with the outcome.

3.  Take things too personally. This one area many women fall into – we do not want to hurt someone’s feelings even if they are not doing the work they have been assigned to do. Women make decisions emotionally but we need to be smart about it. You are running your business and life. You are in business to make money and provide a value rich experience. You need to start charging what you are worth. Why compromise yourself – you are a commodity.

4. Not asking for help or delegating. I always thought it would be cool to be Linda Carter from Wonder Woman but  now I know I cannot do everything myself and neither can you. You need to ask for help or delegate your tasks. Do not overcommit or overwhelm yourself with tasks that others who are better suited to do the task and are proficient at it. Perfectionism needs to take a step back so you can be more productive at your desk.

5. Lack Self-Awareness One of the greatest self awareness tools is journaling. Self-reflection allows us to see where we can do better, collect our thoughts and ideas, and set goals and strategic action plans. Self awareness is self improvement. You must accept where you are so that you can get clear on where it is you wish to go.

6. Shameless Self Promotion This one area where women often struggle with sharing their gifts, talents, and abilities for the fear of being ridiculed. Women must start taking big leaps and start getting involved more in their businesses and communities. Women also need to speak up for each other and our rights more. You need to be proud of your accomplishments.

7. Do not set boundaries. Sometimes women get caught lying through their teeth as they say  “yes” to things they really wish they had the courage to say “no” to. Remember this phrase – “you teach others how to treat you.” If you do not set boundaries, people can manipulate your time without you even realizing it. People will ask to drop by or they will just show up and expect that you will drop your task at hand to tend to their needs. Set clear expectations and people often respect your wishes. As women, we should be standing up for these concepts readily and be proud.

Live up to your potential. Speak your truth. Give yourself the gift of YOU!!! Recharge daily!

 

 

Decisive Action will Catapult You to Success

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Grab your FREE complimentary mp3 download of the 7 Resolutionary Breakthroughs to Profit and Prosper and stay in touch with our biweekly Success Secrets. Debra Kasowski discusses how indecisiveness can kill your business by missing opportunities, losing time, money, and resources. Move forward through inspired decisive action!

To Agree or Disagree with Sheryl Sandberg – Facebook COO?

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There are many women in our lives who have influenced and shaped who we have become. For many of us, these people were our mothers, grandmothers, and women leaders. Leaders come in all shapes and forms. Some we know directly and others informally through books, magazines, and interviews.

The other night I watched Oprah’s Life Class interview with Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO, and author of Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead. I received the book at a birthday present but I have not yet cracked it open. The interview was very revealing of character and position. Sandberg was recently featured in Time Magazine with a title, “Don’t Hate Her Because She is Successful“.

Do you “hate” women because they are successful? Do you aspire to be like them or shy away in envy?

I believe women should be admired for their skills and talents. I do not think Sandberg’s positioning is about burning bras and creating a movement against men. Her position and my position as a business coach are about building women leaders and the right to achieve our own successes.

As women, we compromise ourselves by not allowing our voices to be heard. Your opinion and perspective can shift a culture and create a movement. In the interview, Sandberg talked about women “not sitting at the table” and getting involved in the discussion or planning. The women who grow their businesses or climb the corporate ladder are not the women who hide behind the computer no pun intended to Facebook. The women who are leaders support others through asking the right questions and challenging ideas and thoughts that do not align with a vision.

Secondly, it is okay to be yourself and know your priorities. Sandberg shared that she left the office at 5:30 p.m. so show could be home with her family and in bed by 9:30 p.m. because her children would be getting up in the morning. We can have it all but not always at the same time. I totally agree with this philosophy but many people use to tell me I could not have it all – at any time. I think that view has fuelled me in writing my books and juggling the kids activities. I do recognize when people state, “I do not know how you get so much done.”

I will share part of the secret – I choose to.

In my home, we talk about expectations, goal-setting, and shared household responsibilities. I do not need to seek martyrdom but do strive to maintain sanity.

We must “LEAN IN“. What would you do if you were not afraid? So many times we may hold ourselves back from achieving what we want due to our “mommy guilt” but who ever said that you were not doing well by your children for being an example of strong work ethic, voice of equality, and achievement. Who said that women were not allowed to be leaders or achieve their dreams?

I am more involved with my children than previous generations because I choose to. I am grateful for the opportunities that come my way because of the efforts of the previous generations and my own. I believe women can climb the corporate ladder, grow businesses, and raise the next generation of leaders in our community. We are leaders by example. We have a vision for our future and collaborate with others to get things done.

Yes, there are trade-offs and sacrifices for a greater and bigger life. There is nothing sweeter than creating a life you love – your way!

Congratulations Sheryl Sandberg on reaching out and creating a platform for women leaders!

Who is a woman leader you admire or who has influenced who you are? Please share and comment on this post!

 

 

 

 

 

3 Productivity Secrets I Learned from Darren Hardy

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I had the honour of listening to and meeting Darren Hardy, publisher of SUCCESS Magazine (Highly recommend a subscription) at his Productivity Secrets of Super Achievers . IMG_2300His talk was insightful and profound. Many of us think that if we are doing many things we are achieving more and producing more. It can be further from the truth. You may be a overachiever – getting many things done but there are significant distinctions that create the SUPERACHIEVER!

1. Learn to Say “No” to More Things that Take You Away from What is Most Important to You. As women, we have a difficult time saying no to people without feeling guilty. Who are we being a martyr for? I have learned that in order to have the success you desire you must guard your time, energy, and focus. Your time is one of the most valuable commodities. Once it is gone you cannot replace it.

Focus on “doing” what gives you the greatest return on your investment.

What do you need to NOT do? Yes is easy! The anxiety comes from saying NO! Super achievers say NO more often!

Overscheduling can be stealing away your opportunity to achieve big results in less time.

2. Focus on your VITAL functions. Be world class at a few things. Why be mediocre at many things? People do not want mediocre – they want the best! Do fewer things but do them well.

Master the basics of what makes you great!

3. Focus on Your Strategic Priorities. You may have many goals but focus on your top 3! Spend each day planning your daily actions before you even get started with checking email or responding to voicemail. Get a clear picture of what you need to focus on. Look at your calendar – is there anything you need to say NO to or STOP doing?

What is the one thing that matters most that only you do?

Quit doing things that are taking you away from focusing on your strategic priorities. Darren Hardy mentioned that in the beginning you often need to do it all but as your time, finances, and resources become more available quit doing them. Delegate so you can concentrate on what you do best.

In order to more productive, focus on what one thing you need to do very well to get your greatest return on yoru investment. Your time matters!

What are some of your productivity secrets? What are the three things that matter the most to you to make more money to achieve your success?