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Nicole Holland helps busy CEOs increase their visibility exponentially to create greater impact, influence, and income. Proud to have been named in the Huffington Post as one of “50 MUST-FOLLOW WOMEN ENTREPRENEURS IN 2017”, Nicole inspires entrepreneurs all around the world through her popular podcast, The Business Building Rockstars Show, and her annual online summit, The Business Building Rockstar Summit.
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“Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan.” – Tom Landry
Goal setting can occur at any time of the year. People seem to think that New Year’s resolutions or goals are only set when the clock strikes midnight; however, the resolutions are things that you’re wishing to happen there are no definite measurements or time frame in which you wish to achieve it. There’s no game plan. It is simply an announcement of something you wish to resolve.
Interested versus committed. Some people steer away from setting goals for the fear of truly making a commitment. One of the number one reasons that people fail to meet their goals is that they are more interested in having it happen and actually truly committed to making it happen. Commitment takes discipline, hard work, and even some sacrifice along the way. If you really want to achieve something you must maintain focus on the right things.
Focus on the wrong things. When people set goals, there are times when they set goals that they’re trying to avoid something they end up focusing on what they don’t want. As the saying goes you get more of what you focus on. If you continually put your time, attention, and focus on avoiding what you don’t want, for some reason it always seems to be there. Your focus needs to be on what you want to achieve.
Don’t know what you want. Another reason people fail to meet their goal is that they lack clarity. They have never stopped and really thought about or reflect on what they truly want in their life. They didn’t think about where their career would take them were what type of legacy that they would like to leave. If you don’t know where you’re going you can end up anywhere. If you’re frustrated you need to change what you’re doing.
No action plan. Imagine getting into your car. You’re sitting behind the steering wheel you turn on the ignition. You have no idea where you’re going and how you’re going to get there. There are many people out in the world wandering with no real sense of direction and no plan. You can’t get to where you want to go if you don’t have a plan to get there. I’m not saying focus on the how initially. That’s where the clarity came in. You need to know where you want to go and as you focus on what that is. You will become a creative thinker and figure out the “how”. What will it take for you to get to where you want to be? What knowledge skills and ability you have to gain and learn? Who do you need to speak to get more information?
Cannot make a decision. Making decisions is a big part of a person success. Indecisiveness can lead to missing opportunities. Opportunities don’t wait in the wings for when you decide the time is right. People who are ready to take action will seize the opportunity. You need to be prepared to be ready. Way out the facts and trust yourself and your judgment – make a decision.
No emotional connection to the goal. I’ve seen many people set goals that have no meaning to them. Some are chasing it for material wealth and others realize they have no emotional connection to the goal that they had set. The issue is often that someone else set the goal for them. The end up self-sabotaging every action is not truly what they want and are not being true to themselves. You may have faced that internal struggle of doing things that you no longer feel that are important to you or you lack the emotional connection.
Setbacks lead to paralysis. Another painful truth about why people fail to meet their goals are that when a setback occurs they shift into an “all or nothing” thinking. They are devastated by any failure. They fail to see the lesson and self-correct quickly and move forward. These people lose motivation quickly and often give up. They need to rally and put strategies in place that when a setback occurs that they can prepare for the greatest comeback. They need to take the lessons they’ve learned with them.
Playing it safe. When you avoid taking risks you miss out on opportunities of growth and challenge. I’m not saying put all that eggs in one basket. Do your due diligence it is important. Too many people fail to take a risk because they haven’t assessed and analyzed any of the information available to them they simply just brush it off. Sometimes it takes only one action that can propel you so much farther than you ever have before if you’d only stop and take the time to learn what you need to learn and make a decisive decision.
Comparing yourself to others is a trap! The other painful truth is that comparison trap. We often catch ourselves comparing ourselves to others thinking that there is so much farther ahead – where they have the skill or something that you would like to have. Everyone in life faces challenges you are not unique in that aspect. They might not display it to the world especially through social media which is always everybody’s greatest day. Focus on your own strengths and what you have to offer. You can learn from others but don’t compare where you’re at to or someone else’s is you don’t know the other person struggle.
There is no magic wand or silver bullet to success! You need to stay driven and committed to your goals. You need to be clear on what it is you truly want, make a decision, and a plan to make it become your reality. It is time to end the frustration and disappointment of not meeting your own expectations.
We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com
Time: 11:20 min
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Teresa is a 4x bestselling author and an international speaker sought by entrepreneurs and large corporations wanting to better understand how local word of mouth can suddenly turn epidemic. Specializing in the topics of influence and success, Teresa has a proven track-record in understanding word of mouth epidemics having taken three books to best-seller status in only 8 months. Her recently released book Mass Influence hit #1 international bestseller status in North America and Europe on the same day it launched. Teresa teaches business and marketing courses around the globe, including teaching courses to start-up entrepreneurs in developing countries. As the Chair of the Evolutionary Business Council, Teresa leads an international, invitation-only council of speakers and influencers dedicated to teaching the principles of success. For more information, or to sign up for her free e-newsletter, please visit www.TeresadeGrosbois.com
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Episode 57: Watch Your Language: The Power of Words
The words we use have more power than we give them credit for. We take words for granted. Several years ago I remember reading a person’s blog about a child who was scolded the Costco store while his parents were waiting in return line. The child started to get restless as many children would have. You can watch the confident child who was playful shrinking down into silence. Words can deflate and destroy or words can create confidence and empower. Words do matter.
You may have heard statements throughout your childhood from teachers, parents, coaches, or even your peers. The statements good or bad you have allowed to grow -for they planted a seed. The seed you had a choice to either hold onto and play over and over in your mind or reject it. The seed only grows when you nurture it or give it attention. You may have even heard people making fun of others in derogatory ways. Even with joking, people do not always realize that they can be hurtful.
“An Old Cherokee Tale of Two Wolves
One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’
The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’” –
Native American Legend
When we look at communication, we pay attention to the words but also to the tone and intent of what is being said. People make judgments very quickly. It is important that you choose to speak impeccably about yourself and others. There is so much power in the words that we use. I remember when the speaker sharing with me a conversation that occurred in the restroom about one of the other speakers at a conference without realizing that their microphone was on. Not only was it embarrassing for the conference organizers, it was also hurtful to the person that they were speaking about which was broadcasted to the people attending the conference. I never heard the outcome but I sure hope that a public apology occurred.
The other thing I want to remind you is to not judge others by an appearance or get caught up in gossip. If you’re upset, take the time to remove yourself from the situation if possible see you can think clearly and speak with intention. When people are upset they often say things that they later regret. You don’t want to burn bridges, you never know where someone is going in their lives which could later influence or impact the direction that you had as well. If you want others to speak well of you, you must speak well of others.
The words you use become your reality. The thoughts and feelings that you have influence the actions and words that you speak. If you say “I am not enough” and think and believe this, your actions will follow. You will not fully give of yourself because you believe you’re not enough. You’ll end up sabotaging yourself by holding back on what you’re capable of. You may even tell yourself “why bother?” If you say, you’re “not smart enough”, you will take actions to support that or look for ways to rationalize why this may be the truth. You may speak words of lack and scarcity and because that is your focus that’s what you will see in your reality. If you speak of abundance and use positive words, you will see abundance in your life and show gratitude. Remember you are planting seeds when you speak whether it is about yourself, about others or to others.
In Dr. Marshall Goldsmith book, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, he talks about Habit #5: Starting with “no”, “but”, or “however”. When he was working with a coaching client, he would charge them $20 every time they stated no, but, or however in a statement. One CEO he was working with within an hour was charged $420 but was later donated to a charity. When you are using these words with the people you work with, you are stating that they are wrong and you were right.
“For example, “That’s true, however…” (Meaning: you don’t think it’s true at all.,.) Or the particularly common opener, is “Yes, but…” (Meaning: Prepare to be contradicted.)” –Dr. Marshall Goldsmith
The statement can be frustrating to the people that you’re working with because they see it as a no-win situation.
The word “try” really means that you’re totally not committed. In the words of Yoda from Star Wars, “There is no try you either do or you do not.” When I started catching myself saying the word try I also asked myself if I was wholeheartedly in or just interested. What I learned was if I really want something to happen I need to make a choice to do something not just to dabble in it. What are you “trying” to do and wondering why it’s not working?
In conversation sometimes I’ll hear someone say, “I think this.. is possible”. You want to speak with conviction you must know and believe something to be true. I think comes across as wishy-washy not something spoken with conviction and intent.
Beware of extreme words. These are words such as always and never. Is it true that someone always does something 100% of the time? Is it true that someone never does what they’re told hundred percent of the time? The word “can’t” also be considered extreme as you either you can or you cannot. Many people focus on what they can’t do that they never can realize what they can do it they only put in the effort. They talk themselves out of even making the attempt before even doing something.
When you hear people come up with great ideas or do something outstanding, take the time to give these people credit for their ideas. Your voice and message have so much power. You never know who needs to hear those words of encouragement and how their lives can be changed because you took the time to listen for acknowledging something that they have said. The change that we wish to see the world begins with us and it begins with the power we have with the words we use. Don’t abuse the power. Use the power to build others up and help them step into the potential of food they have yet to be.
We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com
Time:13:32 min
Keywords: the power of words, power of words, build people up, speak impeccably, power of intention, tone, communication, Marshall Goldsmith, habits
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Cheryl Davey is a self-proclaimed online marketing junkie and “tech skills” addict. Over the years, Cheryl has trained herself to take the path of least resistance. If there’s a better, faster way to do something, she probably already knows about it. She has developed a reputation for being efficient and resourceful. She’s been able to work with some of the top 6- and 7-figure business coaches in the industry. These people dread wasting time and money – and they pay Cheryl top dollar because they know she doesn’t mess around. Cheryl is an Infusionsoft Certified Partner and Certified Online Business Manager.