Debra Kasowski

Episode 73 – Something Is Better Around the Corner

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It can be disheartening when you put in so much effort in only to not get the results that you were hoping for. Country singer, Garth Brooks has a song called Unanswered Prayers. This song reminds me that there are reasons why things do not sometimes turn out the way we want them to. He talks about how some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. You can substitute the Universe or whatever you believe in. Sometimes we do not always understand them – we have to trust that there is something better around the corner. Just because something you were hoping for like the big deal or the promotion did not become a reality does not mean you will not get a big deal or get a promotion or get to the next level. It means that this door or this opportunity was not meant for you. You cannot force things to happen.

When disappointments or obstacles occur, you have a choice to react or to respond. Instead of staying in the space of negativity, reframe and shift your thinking. Think about a time when no matter what your efforts were, you did not get the results you wanted. Did you think of something? How long did you dwell on the thought? Are you still holding onto it…I hope not?  You need to realize by taking action you are demonstrating a quality that few people are willing to do – take action. It takes courage to take action towards your goal or dream. The actions you take are getting you set up for success.

It is easy to be devastated and stay in the space of negativity rather than STOPPING your thoughts and saying. “Hey there, I need to ask questions so I can learn from this so I can improve or take different actions.” You can spend your time wallowing or you can make a renewed commitment to taking a new action to get a different result. Do you need to take a course, interview someone, or experiment with the instructions?

Start taking action! Actions create momentum, which carry you forward to the next action. Even if you fail 2-3 times, it can take one breakthrough to propel you further than you would have got should you have stopped putting in the effort. People often give up when they are so close to achievement because they get caught up in self-doubt or worry about it never working out. They think about the embarrassment. What will other people think? Again, I want to stress you are further ahead than most people, as most people are not willing to take the risk need to get the results they need to.

There may also be times that you may not have taken action because of your need for approval or acceptance. Someone may have said something to you to discourage you based on their own beliefs and willingness to take risks. You didn’t do anything because you wanted everyone to like you. You need to have trust and faith in your capability and ability to make things become a reality. Give yourself credit for how far you have come so far. You are not the same person you were a year ago. There are more good things in your future they are not reserved for the affluent.

Don’t get side-tracked by the “comparison trap” and discounting the knowledge, skills, and abilities you have. Instead of being jealous, appreciate and recognize the person you are comparing yourself to. Jealousy is an unproductive emotion. What can you learn about this person’s success that you may be able to emulate in your own way? Take a moment or two to acknowledge and accept yourself for what you offer. Don’t fall into a negative spiral of emotion for everything in life is in a temporary state whether it is positive or negative. You always have a choice of what you will choose and if it doesn’t work out as planned…learn and grow from it and put it into perspective – something is better around the corner. Something better suited, at the right time, and at the right place is coming my way! Stay positive and focused with intention – you can achieve great things.

We would love to have you subscribed to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get us free MP3 download 10 Surefire Strategies to Power Up Your Productivity and Performance. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time: 10:57 min

Keywords: this or better, uncertainty, worry, anxiety, self-acceptance, confidence, building confidence, comparison trap, something is better around the corner, this or something better

 

How to Get Rid of the Fear of ‘Putting Yourself Out There’ Once and For All

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Anyone who wants to grow in their business or in their leadership skills has to learn how to put themselves out there. Putting yourself out there doesn’t mean exposing yourself and every little intimate detail of your life. It is about getting out amongst people and learning about the world around you. The secret sauce is about being curious about what matters most to people and putting yourself out there.

“Believe that if you make courageous choices and bet on yourself and put yourself out there, that you will have an impact, as a result of what you do. And you don’t need to know now what that would be or how will it happen because no one ever does.” – Dick Costolo

Does thought of networking make you queasy?

If you’re shy and feel uncomfortable in networking situations, you might find yourself hiding behind your computer with every excuse why not to go to a networking event. You tell yourself you don’t really like to meet people. Although this may be true, the greater truth may be that you’re more afraid to fail in front of others or say the wrong thing. You may also be afraid to succeed, for the fear of the unknown and how your life will change. Uncertainty can hold you hostage and you may sabotage yourself by letting your imagination go wild with all the “what if” situations that would not support you. You are in the people business. You need to connect with people.

Imagine what it would be like to meet like-minded people who could introduce you to other like-minded people to ensure that your pipeline of clients is consistently filled forget the promotion you have been longing for. How would that feel?

Pretty amazing I bet!

People don’t know how great you are and until you show them. They want to know how you will help them. Don’t let your own fears hold you back from providing value to others.

Focus on providing value instead of focusing on your fear. Every person does not like to be put in the spotlight as they feel exposed and vulnerable. You may worry about what others will think of you or wonder if people will like you or your ideas. You may fear being rejected as the expert you see yourself to be. When it comes to your clients, who knows more about your subject matter than you? Most people are wondering what you are thinking about them and their ideas.

If you want to grow and being known as the go-to resource for expert, exposure in the marketplace if necessary. You have to take the risk of putting your ideas and opinions out there.

No, you won’t appeal to everyone but that’s the beauty of it.

This is the exact reason why there is such abundance in the world. Each individual cannot serve everyone and they may not appeal to everyone and that is okay. There is more than enough business to go around for everyone.

“You put yourself out there in the truest way you can and hope others do the same. You’ll connect or you won’t, but you did what you could. “ – Chris Crutcher

Shift your thinking from self-promotion to self-expression. You may think that self-promotion is bragging and conceited. Self-promotion is about promoting oneself and it doesn’t have to mean that you’re arrogant or that you’re better than the next person. If I’m hiring you to do a job, I will look for the person who can best represent themselves and what they stand for. It will come down to how they express themselves. How you express yourself and what you stand for and how you take interest in others will demonstrate your core values and what you believe in.

Whether you’re putting a post on social media or writing your bio for an article, you want to be able to express how you provide solutions and can help others along their journey. Your expression may be in the form of photos, comments, or sharing a little bit about yourself in order to make yourself relatable to those around you. Think about what you’re expressing and how it may help others. Does it inspire? Does it encourage action taking? Does it help people reflect and think about their own situations?

Take action now. Too many people talk themselves out of taking action because they feel that they’ve missed the opportunity but what they’re really doing is coming up with an excuse as to why they haven’t taken action. You can always find evidence for whatever you believe to be true as it is your reality. It is never too late. If you’re waiting for everything to be perfect, you will miss out on those opportunities. New opportunities will arise for you to take action on. Remember that your work in progress in you can adjust your course along the way.

Every successful story from Eleanor Roosevelt to Oprah Winfrey required that they put themselves out there regardless of their fears to share their voice. Their circumstances weren’t perfect. They grew and learned along the way and put new knowledge into action. As one action didn’t work they would try another while they stayed focused and determined to move forward.

You can create your success story by taking the actions required to put yourself out there even when you are afraid. Know that you’re never alone as the like-minded people around you are often experiencing the same thing that you are but never have had the courage to share it with you. As you put yourself out there, you’ll quickly learn that many feel the same as you and you can be reassured that the courage that it takes for you to push through your fears, shift your thinking and take imperfect action, you will be inspiring others to do the same.

Debra Kasowski is an award-winning 2X bestselling author, professional speaker, certified executive coach, and podcast host of The Millionaire Woman Show which discusses topics of leadership, business, and human potential. She has interviewed influencers like Bob Burg from the Go-Giver, Dr. Mark Goulston, John Lee Dumas from Entrepreneur on Fire, and TEDx Speaker Teresa de Grosbois. Debra has the heart of a teacher and certified in the areas of Emotional Intelligence and Appreciative Inquiry a positive approach to change. Her work has been published in a variety of traditional and online media. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

5 Lessons I Learned from TEDxEdmonton

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TEDxEdmonton was more than an opportunity to sharing ideas worth spreading. TedxEdmonton is a movement changing the landscape photoof assumptions, challenges, and life! There were so many lessons to share.

Some of the lessons we learn come from the most amazing places. There are some lessons we know and then there are some lessons that keep repeating themselves as a theme or pattern in our lives. Whatever that may be for you, know that the message is for you or one you must disseminate among the masses.

Lessons are gifts  that come in all shapes and sizes.

1. Everyone has a story. Each individual that you encounter in a day has a story that will inspire you or motivate you in some way. You have a story and people are waiting to hear it. Be bold and gather the courage to share your voice.

2. Do not judge a person based on their age, appearance, title or list of accomplishments. See each person for who they are and what they contribute to life. Come from a place of curiosity and learn what motivates people and seek to understand their perspective. You can learn more about their purpose and how you can help them reach some of their goals but also to be a form of encouragement along their journey. People need to be seen, heard, and understood for who they are.

3. The extraordinary is found in the ordinary. If you look at situations and circumstances, you might be led to believe some people have everything that they have because it was given to them. However, when you take time to listen and be present with someone’s story you can prevent yourself from following throughout and perhaps making the same mistakes, you can learn what it is you need to do, and you can develop a humanistic perspective and appreciate where people are coming from. Listening to the stories that were shared made me want to have a conversation with each one of them and ask them more about how they pulled through or what had brought them to the idea and where they are now.

3. Everyone faces challenges and uncertainties. Although some people present the picture perfect life, every person has faced challenges and obstacles that have made them who they are today. Without those challenges, a person does not gain insight and understanding to their own purpose. Challenges and reflections are what I refer to as those defining moments that help us step into who we have yet to become.

4. Take a chance and roll the dice of opportunity. I received an email about a TEDxEdmonton Speaker Dinner in my inbox and thought it would be cool to meet all the speakers and hear more about who they are. I kept thinking about what is it I could share that would be worth spreading and make an impact. I played around with the idea and then my mind had a different agenda that it played around with. Finally, I came to – why not and pressed SEND! I won.  TEDxEdmonton Speaker Dinner Winner

The theme For Certain: Uncertainty for TEDxEdmonton was so appropriate for what individuals are facing today. From the moment we wake up, uncertainty kicks in. I want to commend all the organizers and volunteers for working so hard and putting together a phenomenal event! You have made Edmonton proud!!! It was a pleasure to be surrounded by incredible minds and sharing ideas worth spreading.

What story would you share?