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“Never underestimate what you can accomplish when you believe in yourself.” (Unknown)
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Growing up you may have heard sayings or phrases like, “Be humble.”, “Don’t brag.”, or “Don’t share your successes or accomplishments, you might make someone feel bad.” I do agree that being humble is an honorable trait. Remembering where you came from and being in awe of what you are capable of or how far you have come is important. Sharing your successes and accomplishments are important. You are only bragging when you are sharing with the intent to belittle someone or make someone feel inferior to you. Bragging is very different than celebrating. Celebrating others can share in the experience.
I am dedicating this podcast to my friend, Stephanie, who caught me in a moment of conversation and said, “Deb, you are underestimating yourself.” The comment made me pause and ask, “Was I underestimating yourself?” With some self-reflection, I decided to create this podcast as I know I am more capable and step into a higher potential and, so can you? Let’s do this together! You will no longer play small.
Here are some signs that you may be underestimating yourself:
Compare Yourself to Others. You are constantly checking out Facebook or Instagram comparing people’s outside lives to yours. You may feel that your life is not as exciting or you’re stuck. You must remember people only post the good stuff. They are not going to post themselves all snotty nosed sick with a head cold…wait a minute I know some do – but rarely. You are at a different place on your journey and have had past experiences and learning that others have not. Every person is unique so there can be no comparison. When you see someone’s joyous moment or celebration. You see one moment in time, not the hours of sacrifice or the challenges they faced to get there.
TAKE-AWAY: Focus on your story and your journey. You are the storyteller of your life. Don’t like what you are currently writing – change the story.
Value Other People’s Opinions Over Your Own. You want everyone to like you. You may have been told growing up you needed to act, behave, or do certain things to gain approval from your parents or teachers. You wanted to please them so much that you made what they think more important than what you think. Eventually, you may have placed their opinions above your own.
TAKE-AWAY: Learn to trust yourself and value your opinions and ideas. At the end of the day, you are the one who lives with your choices, not anyone else.
Surrounding Yourself with the Wrong Influencers. You are hanging out with people who do not support or encourage you. They may judgmental and negative. They always seem to rant or vent about what has happened in their lives, “Can you believe it…?” Who you surround yourself with impacts how you think and what actions you will take. Are you taking stock of who you are hanging out with? Do they nudge you to become a better version of yourself or are they like a ball and chain attached to your leg?
TAKE-AWAY: Take stock of who is in your circle of influence. You become the average of the 5 people you hang out with the most.
Listening to Negative Self-Talk. There are 50,000 to 80,000 thoughts in a day with 80% of them being negative. When you put focus and attention on a negative thought, it can become a new belief impacting your perspective on things. Even if something does fail or you make a mistake, you must learn that it is necessary to make mistakes to learn from them. These lessons represent growth – the more you grow the better off you become in all areas of life.
When a new situation or challenge comes up, you may shy away from or prevent yourself from doing anything because you think it will fail. You tell yourself, “I can’t do that. I can’t do this.”, “I am not smart enough.”, or “I am not _______ enough.” First of all who said and who made them the authority of you. And if it was you? Rethink what you said. If you plan and prepare, you can make things happen. I am a big fan of Dwayne Johnson and love watching videos of him at the Iron Paradise, he talks about “being the hardest worker in the room”. When you put in the work, you will reap rewards.
TAKE-AWAY: Challenge your negative self-talk. Is it really true? Make a list of your positive qualities and ask trusted family and friends to add in a few more. Acknowledge your successes by writing them down. Stacking success on success!
Criticizing Yourself. We are our worst critics. We can find every flaw in a photo and identify all the reasons why something will not work out the way you want. Some of this criticism is harsh and you would never say those things to your best friend or neighbor. I recently did a photo shoot. I love to be in pictures however this time it was different. I invested in a photographer that I felt was high caliber and the people he worked with were too. I had all kinds of self-talk going through my head of all the reasons I could not be at that caliber. I push through this limit anyway. I was glad I did. I am of that caliber and continue to be a work in progress at the same time. I showed one person one of the photos and they said that is exactly how we see you. Wow! I thought…that was not what I had told myself. My perspective shifted. It’s amazing how what we see in ourselves is not always aligned with how other’s see us. I was reminded that you are the compass of how everyone around you views and treats you – lead by example.
TAKE AWAY: When you start criticizing yourself, STOP and ask yourself, could I repeat or share these thoughts with another person? What do you think they would say to you? Would they be your friend? Accept compliments and offer them.
Neglecting personal self-care. You can not serve others when you do not care for yourself. It is easy to get caught up in saying yes to everything. It is important that you are fueling your body, getting enough sleep, and ensuring you get enough exercise.
TAKE-AWAY: Schedule in self-care time. Start treating yourself with the same respect and commitment you offer others.
It is time to step up and step into your game. Deep down you know you can do whatever you put your mind to and believe. People around us need a renewed sense of hope. The only limits there are is the person staring back at them in the mirror. Dig deep and through the criticism, judgment, and negativity – trust yourself you know you can do it. Bet on Yourself – You already are winning!
We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get my just release FREE e-book about the 21 Habits High Achievers Kick to Achieve Success. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!
DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com
When disappointments or obstacles occur, you have a choice to react or to respond. Instead of staying in the space of negativity, reframe and shift your thinking. Think about a time when no matter what your efforts were, you did not get the results you wanted. Did you think of something? How long did you dwell on the thought? Are you still holding onto it…I hope not? You need to realize by taking action you are demonstrating a quality that few people are willing to do – take action. It takes courage to take action towards your goal or dream. The actions you take are getting you set up for success.